A/N: I know I liked Rory Gilmore at some point so here's me trying to find her. Of course it will be a Literati eventually. Warning there is some swearing and adult situations ahead. Absolutely nothing to do with the Revival (don't get me started), picks up after the series finale. Gilmore Girls does not belong to me.
June 27, 2007
Rory Gilmore was going to throw up. This morning she had picked up her press badge, itinerary, and weekly assignment. She then went straight to the airport and had now landed in Iowa. By all accounts she should be floating on a cloud of her own accomplishments, she was editor of the Yale Daily News, a Yale graduate, and now she was finally a real journalist. She even had a work email for goodness sake. Instead all she felt was the Twix bar she had for breakfast churning in the sea of coffee she had washed it down with.
'Get it together, Gilmore,' she told herself as she stepped up to the press bus. She would be traveling around the country following the Obama campaign for the next five months at least. She was on a bus heading to the University of Iowa and then the hotel for one night after which they would be taken back to the airport to catch a plane to D.C. where they would attend the PBS forum.
Her mom had told her to get a seat in the back but she paused instinctively at the middle. She knew the front of the bus had a reputation for being more uptight and the back for being more laid back but neither of those labels really fit her; she always felt she was more a middle of the bus type. No labels, no pressure. Just as she was about to put down her stuff a woman bumped into her
"Hey are you sitting down or what?" said the tall blonde.
"Oh yeah, sorry I'm sitting," said Rory.
"New here?"
"Yeah it's my first day."
"I'm Stacy, I'm here with KSBW-TV."
"Hi, I'm Rory Gi—"
"Print or broadcasting?" interrupted Stacy.
"Oh well print but its online—"
"Online," interrupted Stacy again. "So they may have you on camera, maybe webseries potential?"
"Ummm, I don't – "
"Don't mind me, I just like to know who's competition."
"That's quite a welcome for the new girl, Stacy," said the woman sitting across the aisle. She turned to Rory, "Hi, I'm Reema, welcome to the traveling circus," then turning back to Stacy, "That's how you introduce yourself to someone new even if they probably can't help you get on CNN."
"Oh sorry, is my ambition showing? I'll play nice," said Stacy smiling sweetly. "Look there's Sam. Here's a tip for you new girl, he's the editor to impress if you want to get noticed." Stacy was pointing to a man in the back of the bus scribbling furiously in a legal pad.
"What are you talking about? We all have different editors, we work for different outlets," said Reema rolling her eyes.
"Yeah but who are you going to work for after the campaign is over, Miss Manners? Sam knows everyone and I hear he can get your writing packet in the right hands."
"You're an anchor, do you even have a writing packet?"
"I have a demo reel."
Rory's head was spinning trying to take in all this information. She was used to fast talkers but this casual back and forth about networking and getting ahead was making her even more nauseous. Suddenly hit with the realization that she could no longer fall back on good grades or prestigious titles she tried not to look too freaked out.
"Anyone up for happy hour in the back of the bus?" asked Stacy.
She could use a drink to take the edge of, but showing up tipsy to her first press conference is probably not the best idea thought Rory.
"Newbie? You in?"
"Oh thanks but I'm just gonna get set up here. And it's Rory, Rory Gilmore."
"Stacy McIntosh, see ya newbie." Stacy walked to the very back of the bus.
"Don't worry intimidation is really just a compliment coming from Stacy," said Reema.
"Thanks for helping me out. I'm still getting used to this environment."
"Don't worry, it's really not as cutthroat as she made it seem. We all have our own editors to please and deadlines to meet without trying to sabotage each other. Trust me she's harmless."
"So she's an anchor like on her own show?"
"Nah, it's just a weekly segment, sometimes live, sometimes filmed ahead of time, you'd only know her if you're into watching local news in Salinas, CA."
"Still she's on the air."
"Yeah and unfortunately she's not half bad either. Anyway, I'm Reema Ahmed, just finished my Masters in journalism and the happy hour gang back there is mostly from Newsweek and then there's a smattering of your typical Ivy Leaguers paying their dues until their trust funds kick in."
"Your Masters wow, that's amazing," said Rory, ignoring the Ivy Leaguer's comment. She hoped she wasn't going to be labeled like that.
"Thanks but I just meant I'm fresh out of school too. I've only been here two weeks."
"You can tell just by looking at me huh," said Rory disappointed at how amateur she was coming off even if it was her first day.
"Well you were a bit deer in the headlights as you walked on but don't worry you recovered fast," smiled Reema
Rory was relieved to find someone who seemed friendly on her first day. Determined not to let her meeting with Stacy paralyze her with insecurity she got out her laptop to do some last minute research and took notes on anything she thought might help her article.
Rory spent the next few hours shuttled to different events, each one featuring a speech followed by a question and answer period. She knew this was her moment to shine but she couldn't bring herself to say much. She forced herself to shout out a question during the last event of the day, not wanting to have been totally silent during her first day on the job. Her question got lost in the jumble of other reporters but she felt better having at least tried.
"You okay? You got the Bambi in the headlights look again," said Reema as they walked out of the event and toward their hotel.
"Oh yeah, just a bit overwhelmed." Rory tried to smile to hide her sullen mood.
"Yeah the Medical Education and Biomedical Research Facility here at the glamorous University of Iowa leaves me awestruck too," joked Stacy.
Rory smiled weakly not sure if she would sound like a pathetic newbie if she explained what was bothering her. She decided to go for it since after today she wouldn't be able to play her insecurity off as first day nerves.
"It's just that everyone seemed so competent and forceful. You just got in there and asked your question. I guess I'm used to a smaller scale, not having to fight for a question. It's easier to recover from a stupid question when you're one on one."
"Don't worry you'll pick up on it fast. Eventually you don't worry so much about sounding dumb and just go for it."
"I hope so."
"Come on we're off the clock now, I'll buy you a drink."
Two beers and a very greasy burger later, Rory was feeling better. Even though she didn't feel like she earned a gold star on her first day as a journalist, she had at least made a friend. Reema and Rory walked down the corridor looking for their hotel rooms.
"This should be my room," said Reema sliding her keycard in the lock. "Come on in, I'll show you how disastrous my first day notes wer—"
As soon as Reema opened the door, it was clear something was not right. The lights were on and clothes were all over the floor.
"Oh my god!" said Rory as she noticed the couple on the bed.
Reema closed the door immediately.
"Apparently when she said impress Sam she meant…"
"Fuck him?" finished Reema.
"Yep, that's what she meant," said Rory. She thought for a beat, maybe she shouldn't be so quick to judge Stacy. "Maybe they're just into each other?" said Rory uncertainly.
"Well they're at least in each other so let's get the hell out of here," she said pulling on Rory's hand and running back toward the lobby.
By the time the two had reached the front desk, they had dissolved into a laughing fit and had to collapse onto a nearby sofa.
"I can't believe we just walked in on that," giggled Rory.
"I know, I thought she was all talk," said Reema in between laughs. "I just can't believe she took it this far."
"The girl is dedicated even if her priorities are off," said Rory.
"You know what's crazy? It would never have crossed my mind to get ahead that way. I know I've been playing the role of seasoned journalist for you today but that just woke me up to how green I am."
"Well let me reassure you, you are not the only one. I mean I knew people did stuff like that to get ahead but I was not expecting it my first day."
"Tell me about it. I mean I'm just getting used to knowing real editors. Last week I saw David Remnick at an event and I had to keep five people between us the whole night just in case I had a panic attack," admitted Reema.
"Really? You've been so calm all day, I never would have guessed," said Rory. She was actually relieved to hear Reema's confession, it was nice to know that everyone had days when they felt out of place.
"Well it's a lot easier when there are no famous, influential people around. Have you ever been around anyone panic attack inducing?" ask Reema.
"My ex's dad is Mitchum Huntzberger," said Rory guiltily. She didn't know why she felt so guilty; she certainly wasn't getting any special treatment from the Huntzbergers. Considering she had just turned down their son's marriage proposal and the fact that they had never liked her, the acquaintance could only hurt her. Still, in terms of who recognized her in a crowded room full of editors, she knew she was holding the trump card.
"Whoa," said Reema.
"I was his assistant for a little while in college."
"Ok but even I can see it would be stupid not to use that connect. It's not like you slept with his dad…right?"
"God no!" said Rory, horrified by the mental image.
"I mean there's naive and there's stupidity. The guy is the head of an editorial dynasty; you had to say yes to that." Reema paused and then asked, "So what's he like?"
"The staff all seemed to worship him," said Rory, going with the safe answer.
"Well that's not surprising he's their boss and he has major influence. Although I don't know why people bother, those types always hand the throne off to their spoiled, sheltered children as if they're bound by the laws of primogenitor," said Reema, rolling her eyes. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to imply your ex is spoiled and sheltered, damn I always put my foot in it. This is why I keep a five person distance from people."
"Don't worry about it, you got it pretty right on the money except the young Prince abdicated."
"Wow good for him. Sounds like you guys left things on good terms."
"As good as those things can be. I don't think I'll be invited to the family Christmas party this year."
"Damn, I bet Barbara Walters will be there."
"Pulling crackers with Helen Thomas," said Rory wistfully.
"Wait, I can't tell if you're kidding. You're kidding right? You know what, don't tell me in case my head explodes," said Reema.
"Honestly, I have no idea. They were not too fond of me and I don't exactly have warm feelings towards them either."
"Really? He was that bad?"
"He was a pretty good boss but definitely not a good mentor, unless he liked you"
"Well I can't believe you had a problem in that department, you seem like the girl every parent hopes their son will bring home."
"He told me I didn't have it to be a journalist," Rory admitted reluctantly.
"Shit."
"Yeah not exactly the hopeful encouragement most college interns are looking for but now I get the satisfaction of proving him wrong," said Rory hoping she sounded more confident than she felt.
"Yeah and you still got the experience of working with him or at least near him. I mean not having it at 20? That's really nothing to be ashamed of. Who the hell does have it at 20?" Reema gave Rory an incredulous look that eased the ball of nerves she got every time she remembered Mitchum's words.
"I could have used someone like you around back then," said Rory.
"How did you survive without me Gilmore?" joked Reema.
"Someone talked sense into me, eventually. Now come on lets fix this room key mix up before you have to sleep in the lobby."
A few hours later, Rory was in her hotel room, retelling the most horrifying event of her day to her mother.
"And then we ran out before they noticed we were there," said Rory
"I can't believe there is so much dirt on the road. What's next, are you meeting Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo for a quick motorcycle rally?" Lorelai exclaimed as she put a tray of frozen curly fries in the oven while balancing the phone on her shoulder.
"Well you're getting all of it because I can't talk to anyone else here about it except Reema without outing Stacy," Rory said.
"I love being the one that gets all the dirt." Lorelai grinned as she bit into a jalapeño popper.
"Hopefully there isn't any more dirt to share after this or at least I won't have to find out about it firsthand."
Rory paused, not sure if she wanted to talk about what was on her mind. She decided to go forward.
"Hey mom, I'm not like Stacy right?
"Are you trying to tell me something? Did you sleep with your editor?" asked Lorelai.
"No! No, I just meant…," Rory sighed figuring she may as well just get it out.
"I was thinking, she's doing whatever she can do get ahead, even if it's immoral, but I used a lot of my own connections to get ahead too like working for Mitchum, you know that's still on my resume, and I got to be the editor of the Yale Daily News after I took 3 months off to do nothing just because Paris had a breakdown and I was there to pick up the pieces. Even getting into Yale, I mean I'm a legacy there and I got an interview with the Dean of Admissions because Grandpa picked up the phone."
"You did not ask him to do that in fact you yelled at him for doing it if I remember correctly," defended Lorelai.
"I know, it's just, I know I'm very fortunate. Sometimes I worry I'm not earning what I get."
"Rory, you worked your butt off at Yale and as Mitchum's intern, believe me you earned all those resume lines."
"Yeah, I guess," said Rory, she didn't feel much better but decided it was best to drop it.
After she talked to her mom, Rory finished a draft of her column, picked out her clothes for the next day and packed her bag for the morning flight. She had been sitting on her bed staring at her phone for almost 30 minutes. It was a little bit past 11:30. She knew he would be up. 'Get a grip, Gilmore,' she thought to herself for the hundredth time that day as she picked up her phone and dialed the number.
"Hello?" said Jess.
"Hi"
"Hi"
"It's Rory"
"Yeah I know it's you"
"Sorry I um… I wanted to talk to you but I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk to me but I figured I'd never know until I tried right? So I just dialed this number I had. I wasn't even sure if it was still you're number. I got it from the invite to the open house. Oh dammit, I was hoping not to bring that up. Shit, I mean not that I can't talk about that night, I am really sorry about that I was—"
"Rory," said Jess interrupting her mid rant.
"Yeah?"
"How are you?"
She signed in relief. "I'm on the Obama campaign trail."
"Yeah?"
"I even have press credentials and a weekly column," said Rory.
"Impressive."
"Well it's only online," said Rory quickly, not wanting to sound like she was preening.
"Print is dead anyway," he said waiving his hand in a dismissive gesture.
"Says the co-owner of a publishing house," countered Rory.
"I never said I was happy about it being dead."
"Business not doing well?" asked Rory.
"Nah it's chugging along, we need to do more than just publish to keep afloat but so far so good." Said Jess.
"That's good," said Rory.
"Why'd you call?" asked Jess.
"I um… I wanted to... I ahh... usually this is the part where you stop me from stammering," said Rory, she could almost hear him smirk on the other end.
"I'm glad you called."
That was something at least, she thought. "I was just thinking about something and thought...," Rory trailed off.
"Yes?"
Rory took a deep breath. "I don't know if you could tell but I was kind of lost the last time we spoke," she said.
"Well, I am pretty perceptive."
"I'm sorry about that by the way."
"Look if you just called to apologize, don't worry about it, you already apologized and I already told you how I felt, we're fine." Rory noticed he had paused before he landed on 'fine' as the description for the state of their relationship. She knew they weren't exactly 'fine' but hoped enough time had passed that he wasn't still angry with her.
"Thanks. So if we're fine can I ask you something?"
"The Chair recognizes the jumpy brunette in the back with the Dictapen."
"Don't make fun of my Dictapen!" Rory was happy to use this as an excuse to ease the tension in their conversation. It almost felt like they were friends again.
"Who me? I would never," said Jess in his most innocent voice.
"Ok shut up I'm being serious."
"Serious question, shoot."
I've been feeling like I need to prove myself.
"Okay."
"So my question is how do I do that?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Because you did it. You went out there and made something of yourself. And even though I always hated how you left, I am really proud of what you've accomplished, I mean we all are." Rory made a circular motion with her left hand to signify the "we" she was talking about even though no one else was in the room.
"Look, that means a lot to me, really it does, but I don't think you're in any position to envy me," said Jess. "You've got a full time job in your chosen field straight out of college. Don't worry so much Gilmore. You are actually accomplishing your dreams. This is it, it's happening."
"But what if I don't make it? What if…," she couldn't believe she was giving voice to this, "What if I don't have it?"
"You want this right?"
"Yeah."
"So you keep going. There is no magic 'it', you just keep working and you get better."
"I thought I'd feel better about where I am but I just feel like an idiot all the time."
"Everyone feels like an idiot at first, trust me"
"I just want to be better at what I'm doing."
"You will get better."
"You think so?" asked Rory.
"Who knows?" teased Jess.
"Jess!"
"I really think you'll be fine once you get some more experience."
"Thanks. I'm sorry I'm always a mess when you talk to me lately."
"And after I've always been so together around you too."
She smiled, glad he had lightened the mood. "So what's new with you?" she asked.
"Same old, same old over here. Currently trying to read this draft for a possible new author."
"Oh a brilliant young talent," exclaimed Rory, happy to change the subject to something less depressing.
"That's a very generous description for something that is written mostly on napkins, there may be part of a pizza box somewhere in here," said Jess.
"He's an artist," Rory smiled as she listened to him shuffle papers around.
"He's cracked, one more tear stained napkin and I'm chucking it."
"More fodder for his art."
"So I'm doing him a favor either way."
"Exactly," said Rory. "Ok well I should go, got to get up in a few hours to catch a flight."
"Wow, Ms. Bigshot with her early morning flights, has no time for the little people anymore," teased Jess.
"How dare you, it's Dr. Bigshot" said Rory, feigning offense.
"Goodnight, Rory."
"Night, Jess."
