Sweet Lavender Scents
Sleep was zeroing in on my soul. With my last waking breath, I whispered the only name I yearned to call; Yue. On the edge of consciousness, I heard a soft rustling that suspended my sleep further. I was still too tired to open my eyes and convinced myself that my mother had come into the room, for I heard her sit on the other side of the bed, and she came in to either sing me to sleep or pat my back to help me fall more quickly.
"Mom?" I asked lightly after turning to take her hand. As usual, her hands were cold and clammy, but they felt different. I pulled her hand to my cheek, "Are you okay, Mom?" I wasn't sure it was actually her; in fact I knew it wasn't her but I wouldn't let my tired mind realize. I snuggled closer to her, not feeling her but a slender man instead. I opened my eyes and cranked my neck to see a fair face peering down at my own. It was a beautiful face with large eyes that pierced through my tired soul. They stared down in silence, studying me.
First, was a rush of adrenaline. It soared into my heart. My heart beat fitfully. My body unwillingly shot up out of the bed. My eyes were wider than saucers. My jaw fell to the floor, "Who are you?" Then my breathing faltered. This only further strained my heart.
By now he had already let go of my hand, but those eyes followed me, "I-I'm sorry to startle you. I should have come sooner, perhaps while it was not so dark."
It was only in dreams that I ever saw him. Even though this felt ultimately real--there was no way in hell it could be. Without another thought, I realized that I must have been dreaming. A lucid dream; something I'd never accomplished in my life. I sighed, easing my pumping heart. I could still hear it in my ears.
"Oh, welcome back," I murmured, leaning back into the bed; although my heart was still pounding. Without another thought I slumped back onto the bed, "I'm tired." His palm met my forehead. It was cool against the sweat that had beaded there.
"I really scared you," he mused.
"At least I didn't wake up," I mumbled, lacing my fingers with his.
"You are awake," he said, shifting.
I could hear his robes rustle. The heavy material shifted around him. The bed I lay on absorbed the movement. As he did so, I also caught his scent. It was very faint. If I had been any more alert I would not have noticed it.
I sighed, "Lavender."
"Hm?"
"You smell like lavender," I answered, turning onto my stomach.
A chuckled was released from his throat, "Thank you."
"Do you remember me from all my dreams?" I asked, opening my eyes only to stare at the wooden head board.
"Yes," he whispered.
"Were they all really dreams then?"
"Yes."
I shifted to my side, lifting my eyes to his, "Were they special do you think?"
"Of course they were."
"You never kissed me," I stated, thinking out loud mostly.
"You never asked me."
"I never thought I had to."
He pushed back the bangs that fell over my eyes. "No, I suppose you didn't." I blinked, I nodded, and I sighed.
"Get comfortable," I reached for my blanket. He pulled his outer robe off, like he did in every other dream. I felt they were annoying. It was like I was embracing fabric instead of a person.
A few moments later, after all the rustling and movement his arm rested over my waist. I opened my eyes to his face, a small smile on my lips. His eyes were closed. His breathing was shallow. His hair fell past his eyes.
"Yue?"
On cue his eyes slowly opened.
"Do I have to ask?"
It was like he had to think about it. The wheels were turning in his head. I never received a verbal answer.
I felt his muscles. They were strong. They were real. They flexed and relaxed more than any other dream could mimic.
Then his lips pressed against mine.
I didn't think that any more adrenaline could possibly be left in my body, but I was soon proved wrong. My arms wrapped around his waist. If I didn't I just might be lost. He straddled my waist. The kiss deepened. He grabbed fists of my hair; I did the same to his.
Then he backed away. His breathing was heavy, his eyes filled with desire. He swallowed. As he calmed, he brushed back my hair. He set a kiss to my cheek, then the other, "I'm sorry."
There was a silence between us. He was ashamed; I was amazed.
"Yue," I called as he sat up on the other side of the bed.
"Yue," I repeated.
"What is it?"
"It's okay," I said, "Its not like I didn't want it either."
He looked back at me.
"Would you come closer?" I asked, "Just stay with me until this dream is over."
"But you--"
"Whatever happens is okay," I murmured, "So come closer."
With little coercion he complied; and much to my pleasure. We cuddled. His body felt surprisingly warm. His arms were strong. His hands were gentle. His breath left cool marks on my cheek.
Here I lay drowning within him; drowning in the smells and sounds, in the sensation of his skin. I glanced at the night light at the bedside. It was the only thing keeping me awake.
Awake…
