1. At the beginning, there was the press conference

"Ladies and gentlemen of the press, we are in front of you today, proud and erect, throbbing with excitement ..."

Her fingers, skating across the keyboard of her iPad, capturing the mood of the packed press conference, momentarily stilled.

"... just seconds away from sharing with you video footage that documents the final thrusts of the last grimy, sweaty, few months ..."

Eyes wide, her eyebrows crept higher. She was the only one not feverishly transcribing every word the tour manager was uttering. The only one not to be wearing an expression that spoke of earnest concentration.

"... I can't tell you how excited we are for the moment when the magic of our tour will spurt again and again all over you guys, showering you in a celebration of ..."

It was too much - giggles exploded out of her tightly clenched lips. In vain she tried to smother her laughter with a coughing fit but to no avail. Making her excuses, she stood and pushed her way past her row of journalists, some of whom shook their heads condescendingly at her lack of professionalism.

Sitting on the stage at the front of the room, the tour manager noted her leaving. Straight faced, he bent to his notes whilst muttering to the pop star next to him, "Well?"

The pop star said nothing, just watched her walk into the sunshine of the hotel lobby. Listened to her laughter ring out helplessly before the heavy doors swung closed, enveloping the room once more in weighty, self-important silence.

Without looking at his tour manager and expressionless behind his dark glasses, he spoke once. "I think we've found our writer".