A Christmas Wish
-By Ninn

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Note from Ninn:
This contains nothing graphic, but if you're offended by anything other than
straight relationships, then proceed with caution or don't read it at all.
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A long figure slowly walked through the darkened hallways of the large mansion. Footsteps
echoed, but though the hall was empty, the sounds contained in the downstairs party would
cover anything else.

That was what he wanted - to remain unnoticed for the night. The worry that someone would
realize his absence never crossed him mind, everyone was either drunk, or well on their way to
becoming drunk.

He stopped at an open window and leaned on the frame, feeling the cool winter wind blow
through his hair. The wind was nice, but he pulled back, closed the window and continued
down the moon lit hall.

Then the end of it, in the form of a balcony, appeared. Not wanting to turn back and rejoin the
lively group of people, he reached for the door handle.

The balcony doors opened easily, the hinges creaking from years of disuse, and dead leaves cracked
underneath his feet as he stepped out and walked to the railing.

From his vantage point, he could see across the small town. It was festive, decorated in bright lights
and garish decorations, and the smells of freshly cooked holiday meals floated upward on the wind.
It couldn't be more unlike the year before.

The balcony he stood on was small, barely large enough to fit two people. And at that moment, all he
wanted was a certain person standing there beside him.

It was silly, really. What he wanted would never come to pass. The dead never rise...

He leaned his head on the railing, the smooth marble cold beneath his forehead, and tried to enjoy the
sounds of singing that were originating in the town.

They were beginning to celebrate early, to make up for the holiday that had been stolen from them the
year before. Stolen by events beyond their control.

It wasn't that they didn't deserve the happiness. Their happiness was their reward for suffering, pain, and
the hardships of life. He didn't want them to not be happy, but it was just depressing. And no matter how
hard he tried, he just couldn't change that train of thought.

"Are you okay?"

He hadn't even heard the footsteps approaching him, "Please, let me be alone."

"I don't think so."

He turned halfway around, "I wasn't planning on doing anything stupid."

"No one deserves to be alone right now."

"I've been alone for the past year. What makes now any different?"

"Cloud...."

"Dead.... There was nothing I could do... The one I saw as an angel, I'll never see again...." he turned back
to the railing, "I had the power to stop it.... If I had done something differently.... wouldn't be dead.... I can't
stop thinking that..."

Neither spoke, unsure of what to say. One wrong word could ruin their friendship.

Finally, the silence became too loud.

"I know this must be hard for you."

"I thought you were downstairs, drinking with everyone else."

"Alcohol doesn't affect me."

Cloud nodded slowly, "I see."

"You have to get over the past, you know that."

"I thought I was... I guess I was wrong. But I don't want to forget. Then I would lose the only person I ever
loved, even if the feeling wasn't mutual."

"No one's asking you to forget, but it's not healthy to dwell on the past."

".........."

"I know what you're going through. I lost the only person I've ever loved, but I've been able to move on."

"....And exactly how long did it take you?" There was a hint of something like scorn in Cloud's voice.

"I was stupid. I don't want you to go through the years of pain that I did."

"....... The pain lets me know I'm alive. That I'm not just walking dead. It lets me know that I'm capable of
emotion, however harsh that emotion may be."

"Let go of pain."

"You should know how hard that is to do."

"Then replace it with another emotion. Try to accept a compliment."

"What for? I see no reason to bother others with my presence."

"….. Your hair…."

"What about it?" he asked defensively.

"It's much nicer, now that you've stopped spiking it…."

"….Vincent…"

"What?"

"That was the first time I ever heard you say something nice. Thank you."

"I only speak the truth. That's why my words sometimes seem harsh."

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

"No. Not crazy. More like afraid."

"Afraid?"

"You don't want to be hurt again, so you refuse to move on."

"…."

"We won't hurt you, you know that."

"I think I know that, but…."

"Say no more, I understand."

The words were gentle, and Cloud leaned more heavily on the railing, "Please, let me be alone right now."

Vincent made no move to leave, "I won't leave you like this."

"….I know."

Vincent sighed inwardly, and slowly moved closer to the other man, finally leaned on the railing also.

"The one you loved, who you saw as an angel – it wasn't Aeris, was it," there was no hint of question in
Vincent's voice.

Cloud turned his head, "…What makes you say that?"

"I may not speak much, but I watch and listen to everything."

"Was it that obvious, though?"

"No."

"And you don't care about this? You'll still look at me the same way?"

"I care about you, that's all that matters."

Cloud nodded slightly, and turned his gaze back to the town. He didn't know what to say, how to respond.
There was something in the other man's tone that made it seem more than a casual remark. So he remained
silent.

Vincent stepped back, he could tell that Cloud knew what he had meant.

"I'll … I'll leave you alone now. I'll be downstairs if you need me," Vincent turned to face the door and walked
through it.

Cloud raised his head and spun around, "Vincent, wait!" then ran into the hall. The other man wasn't too far down
it, and Cloud caught him in only a few strides.

"I thought you wanted to be alone?" Vincent remarked with a half smirk, an expression Cloud had never seen on
him before.

"No… I don't want to be alone. …I don't want to go down to the party, either."

"I hope you don't want to stand in this hallway all night."

"…Who said anything about standing?"

"…You sure?"

In response, Cloud opened the door they were standing next to. It led to a large common room, complete
with a large, soft looking couch off to one side.

"Hmm… It'll do."

Vincent smiled, then stepped into the room. It was dusty, but that was only a minor detail. His attention was
focused on the couch. Hopefully it was as soft as it looked. He soon found out that it was softer than it looked,
as he sank quite deeply into it.

Cloud, after closing the door, joined him.

They didn't speak, only stared at each other. They moved slowly, the emotions between them new, still fragile.
Clothing found its way to the floor, and bodies became one, joined at the lips.

The Cloud pulled away.

"Are you allright? …You seem… tentative," Vincent gazed into the other's eyes, searching for clues to what the
other man was feeling.

"I'm fine," he wrapped his arms around Vincent's neck, and stared into his eyes, "I just never saw myself doing
this. I never thought I'd find someone who'd understand me, and not care…"

"No, it's not that I don't care. I'd be heartless if I didn't care. It's that I do care, and you know that."

"…What will the others think…. When we're gone all night like this?"

"They're drunk, you said it yourself. They won't even notice," Vincent smiled and moved closer to his companion,
"Besides, I don't care. Do you?"

Cloud smiled, "No…no I don't. And who knows what compromising situations they'll get into," his smile turned
into an impish grin as he pulled Vincent down into the couch, wrapping himself around him the best he could.

It was later in the night when Vincent awoke. Moonlight was streaming in through one of the side windows,
illuminating a greater portion of the room. Something, a sound, possibly, had wakened him. Listening intently, he
could hear something coming from the hall. As he concentrated harder, it almost sounded like muffled crying.

He supposed that he could…should…go see what was going on. Most likely no one else would. But pulling himself
up from the couch was tough. The comfort and security he felt were unusual, and he would be lying if he were to say
he didn't like it. So he moved slowly, disentangling himself from the sleeping figure on the couch, pausing to stare at him.
In the moonlight, he seemed to glow.

But he finally stood, and walked across the room. The door was slightly ajar, someone had used it during the night. It
struck him that someone may have come looking for them, and he inadvertently blushed. Who knows what the person
may have seen.

Pushing the thoughts from his mind, he opened the door the rest of the way and looked around. The crying was slightly
louder, and much clearer, coming from one of the shadows in the hallway that was darker than the rest. He moved
slowly toward it, kneeling in front of it. Once his eyes adjusted, he could see who it was.

"….Yuffie…."

She looked up at him, "….why?"

He bit his lip, "So…I guess you mind…"

"Yes, " she threw her arms around him, "I've always had feelings for you! ….I was hoping that you…. I don't know,
felt the same way, I guess."

"I can't apologize, you know that. Yuffie, I'll tell you what I think of you. Okay?"

She nodded slowly, her lips quivering.

"You're a wonderful person. You're strong, intelligent, and don't let people push you around. Any guy would be lucky
to have you. Well…once you stop stealing materia, anyway."

"You're a guy…"

"Almost any guy, then. I am sorry that I can't make you happy – I don't want to hurt you."

"…I know… But…why?"

"It's what feels right to me."

"….oh…. well, if you'll excuse me…," she pushed away from him, stood, and wiped some tears from her eyes, "I don't
want you to be unhappy."

"Yuffie…"

He watched as she walked down the hall, turned back to the door he had come from, then walked back into the room,
found his way back to the couch and lay down on it.

"You okay?" Cloud muttered from next to him.

"Sorry I woke you."

"You didn't. It got cold after you left," he put his arms around the other man, "What happened?"

"Nothing important…"

Cloud nodded, "Okay …It'll be morning soon…"

Vincent grinned, "More than enough time."

"And what if the others come looking? As far as I know, they know how to escape hangovers."

"….Then they'll get a show, and we won't have to explain anything."

Cloud returned the grin, "I like the way you think. And I like this you better."

"I can say the same thing about you."

Outside the mansion, the town slowly came to life, beginning another day of preparations for the holiday to come,
unknowing that gifts more important than material objects had already been given.


~Fin~

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Note from Ninn:
For some reason this was really hard for me to write – and I have no clue why. I don't think I strayed from being tasteful,
and if I did, all I have to say is oops.
I figured I may as well post this near Christmas, and I was originally planning to post it Christmas 2001. Heh, so I'm a year
later than I was planning.
Anyway, yes, I know it's OOC, but I needed to do that. So, review or flame… just do something.