Hi there! Well, my last attempt at a non-sisfic oneshot was so well received (I say well received...it got three reviews, but I was excited!) that I decided to try again. This is actually a tweaked version of a chapter from my sisfic that I liked so much, I decided to turn it into a regular fic. The song (in French, with English subtitles) is available for your perusal on YouTube if you search 'Baby Mine French' (or even just 'Baby Mine'). Thanks again for reading! If this turns out well, I plan to introduce quite a few more boyfics (is that what I call them? I dunno...)
I'd trade an arm (my left arm) for them, but for now, they're not mine.
Hearts,
CA
He was hiding in the bathtub when Daddy found him.
"Hey, Deano," he says in the voice that usually means Dean will have to finish his all of his chicken nuggets before he drinks his milkshake. "Little dry for a bath, isn't it?"
Dean doesn't move from where he is, backed up under the drain, with his knees to his chest, and his chin to his knees, a wooden spoon clenched tightly in one fist. Just in case. "I'm not dirty, Daddy," he explains patiently.
"Ah," says John, folding his arms and leaning against the doorframe. "Gonna sail somewhere, then?"
Dean peeks up, seriously considering the possibility, since Daddy had once told him that bathtubs were different than boats, but sometimes Daddy jokes. And sometimes he lies. He lied about Mommy being okay. It had been two months, one week and four days, and she still wasn't okay, would never be okay, would never be here again.
But Daddy's eyes are happy in the way that says he's joking (but not, Dean notices, the way they were before It happened), so Dean smiles. "No, Daddy. I—"
Then the thunder cracks again, and the windows tremble so hard, Dean is absolutely certain they will shatter and rain glass over Daddy and him, and the lightning will stab into the bathroom and fry them both.
Dean tries very hard not to cry, but he can feel his throat doing the burny thing that means he's not doing a very good job.
He expects Daddy to yell, because Dean is the big brother, and he has to watch out for Sammy, and he can't do that if he's crying, so he's surprised when Daddy walks over, and very gently pulls his towel-shield away, but lets him keep the spoon as he picks him up.
He knows he's too old, but he doesn't say anything, because he always feels better when Daddy's close and happy, and Daddy talks before Dean can say anything, anyway. He says, "C'mere, Deano. I wanna show you something."
Dean nods seriously, because lately when Daddy shows him anything, it's something Daddy says is very important, that he has to remember. "Where are we going?" he asks, for good measure.
"Outside," Daddy says, and says it so casually, Dean thinks he must be joking again.
But he's not. "Outside?"
"Outside."
"What about Sammy?"
"Sammy's sleeping," said Daddy. "This is big boy time, right?"
And Daddy looks at Dean, and the funny twisty feeling in his tummy goes away, and he's reminded of the times Mommy would let him stay up late and watch movies with Daddy and her, and even eat popcorn, even though he'd already brushed his teeth. Those were 'big boy times', too, and even though Dean loved Sammy, he loved those rare moments squeezed between Daddy and Mommy, giggling quietly, so they didn't wake Sammy up, too.
"Right," Dean says, and now he's smiling with Daddy.
Outside, the sky is purple, and when the lightning flashes, and when it does, it lights up the whole night. Dean is reminded of Mommy making mashed potatoes, her sharp grown-up knives and forks stabbing violently at the dark, pregnant flesh. It's enough to make him want to hide his face in Daddy's neck, even though he knows he shouldn't.
But Daddy still doesn't yell. Instead, he uses the gentle voice he only uses when Dean is sick, or Sammy is fussy, and he even puts his hand on Dean's forehead, like when he's checking to see if Dean is hot.
"Hey, Deano, c'mon, look at me." Daddy moves his hand from Dean's forehead to the back of his neck. "You're alright, buddy."
And because Daddy uses his gentle voice, Dean looks up…cautiously.
"Good job, Deano," Daddy says. "Now I want you to tell me what you think lightning is."
Dean doesn't realize this is a test, like Daddy sometimes gives (like in the morning, when Daddy asks Dean to remember the words he told Dean the night before that are in a different language called 'Latin'), so he says, "It's scary, Daddy." And he says it the same way he does when he knows he's right, like when Daddy asks him what number comes after seven.
Then Daddy laughs, and Dean smiles, because he doesn't hear Daddy do that very much since It happened. Daddy says, "Not quite. It's your mother. It's Mommy."
Now Dean is confused. He doesn't know if this is a test, or a joke, or maybe a lie, so he makes his face stay very still, and asks, "Mommy's in the lightning?"
Daddy doesn't laugh, or scold, like Dean thinks he might. He smiles, and says, "Not exactly. You know that camera Pastor Jim has?"
Dean nods solemnly. "I can't use it until I turn five and a half," he recites carefully.
"That's right," says Daddy. "And you know how it flashes when he takes pictures in the dark? Real quick, but real bright. Just like the lightning, right?"
"Yeah, but smaller."
"Well, Mommy's a lot big than Pastor Jim's little camera, right? She had to be to carry you around and sing your song."
"Mon bébé," says Dean, without waiting for a prompt. Mommy sang his lullaby every night before It happened, ever since he was born. He could probably sing it in his sleep, even if he didn't know what it meant, because it was also in another language, one Mommy called 'French', which was special, because it had nothing to do with the fries.
"That's right," said Daddy again. "Baby Mine." Daddy always said the song came from a movie Mommy liked a lot, even though it was about elephants. Daddy said Mommy really liked it because it was about a little boy, like Dean, looking for his mommy. Dean wanted it to be his favorite movie, too, but they'd lost Mommy's copy the same night they'd lost her.
"The lightning is like the flash from Pastor Jim's camera, Deano. It's Mommy looking for you in the dark from way up in the sky, so she can see how much you're growing up."
Dean's eyes went wide, because Daddy wouldn't lie about something like that. It made too much sense. "Really?"
"Really."
Dean turns to stare at the sky with wide, serious eyes. Then, without taking his eyes off the storm, Dean says, "Hey, Daddy?"
"What's up, Deano?"
"Do you think Mommy would be able to find me faster if I sang the song?"
Daddy is quiet for so long, Dean begins to think he'd said something bad, like when Sammy cries for Mommy at night. But before he could ask, Daddy says, "Yeah, Deano. Yeah, I do. You sing that song every time you see a little lightning, or another storm, or anything else that tries to scare you, ever, okay? Even if I'm not there, you remember Mommy is looking for you. You sing that song, and everything'll be okay."
Now Dean does look at Daddy, eyes wide again. "Daddy, why are you crying?" Dean feels close to tears himself—what had he said to make Daddy cry?
Daddy smiles, but it's the same smile he'd made at Pastor Jim after It happened, when all he'd said was, "It's okay. It's fine. Everything's fine," for two whole days.
"It's just…been a while since I heard your song, Deano."
Dean tilts his head to one side. "Do you miss the song, Daddy?"
"Yeah, Deano. I miss it a lot."
Dean is quite for a long time, thinking. He knew Daddy missed Mommy a whole lot, just like he did, just like even baby Sammy did. But he hadn't thought it was possible to miss a song, even though he now realized Dean missed it, too. Then he says, "Daddy, do you want me to sing the song?"
Dean heard Daddy swallow. "Yeah, Deano. I'd love that."
Dean made the sound with his throat that people made on TV when they were about to say something important. He turned back to the horizon just in time for the lightning to illuminate his mother's green eyes.
"Mon bébé, si joli…"
xxxxx
Fourteen years later, Sam would be confused when Dean had to leave the Blockbuster so suddenly, knocking over the bin of discount movie toys in his haste.
"Er, sorry, dude," Sam said to the kid behind the counter, tossing one of the stuffed elephants back into the basket.
The End.
PS-I'm thinking of adding a second chapter, either what happens after Blockbuster, or else a scene with Dean and shapeshifter baby, or maybe Dean and Ben...At some point, the lullaby is gonna come up. Thoughts?
More hearts,
CA
