AN: Yes, this is an IruKaka. Yes, I know I'm crazy. I'm just hoping I
managed to keep them both sort of in character. If not, you may beat me
with dead herring until my knees turn green. This was written over a
period of three days, due to varying degrees of writer's block. Also, the
sections were written in the order last, beginning, middle, so I hope it
flows properly. ^^;
Inspired by the list of symptoms on the front page of dolphinluff.deviantart.com, specifically the one that reads, "You dare to make Kakashi THE BITCH". That + random shower thoughts (thoughts that came to me while I was in the shower, ecchi!) = this fic.
Enjoy.
~~~~~ Punctuality
By: Jada Flame ~~~~~
It was one of those days that opened with a sense of foreboding. A day on which the world seemed to hold its breath while something was decided. A day of great importance in the cosmic sense.
"Hey, Iruka-sensei, buy me some ramen!"
Iruka looked up from the pile of papers he was trying to grade. "Naruto? What are you doing here?"
"I'm here because I'm hungry! And broke! And can we go to the Ichiraku now, sensei?"
"Don't you have a mission today? Or training, or something where you wouldn't be here, and you would be. umm. not here?" Iruka's voice took on a note of pleading.
Naruto grinned and looked vaguely embarrassed. "Well, I would be, but Kakashi-sensei never showed up today."
"Huh? What do you mean? It's almost two!"
"I mean he never showed up. Today we waited five hours past normal, which is three hours late, and he never came! So we just left."
Iruka's eyes narrowed. "Wait- this makes the third time this week that he's been at least late. Don't you get any training in anymore?"
"It's not really like we get any less training in. Sasuke and I usually end up sparring to pass the time- you should have seen me today! I was this close to kicking his ass! But, uh, anyway, for this whole week, whenever Kakashi-sensei shows up, he just tells us to keep sparring! And then he just sits there and reads Icha Icha Paradise the rest of the day."
"You mean he shows up late and then just reads PORN all day?!"
"Yep. Now what about that ramen?"
It was this day of great foreboding on which Iruka decided that something needed to be done about Kakashi.
~~~~~~~~~~
Later, when the day of great foreboding had turned into the evening of great foreboding, Iruka found himself deep in the lair of the creature known as Hatake Kakashi, jounin sensei.
Which wasn't particularly forbidding, as lairs of creatures go; just a small refrigeration unit, a bed and some shelves, and basic plumbing in a small room off the main one. There weren't any places to hide, had Iruka wanted to- and anyway, a jounin was a jounin, no matter how perverted or chronically tardy, right? So Iruka planted himself on the bed and waited.
It was just past ten when Kakashi finally stepped into the room, not even bothering to turn on a light. "Good evening, Iruka-sensei."
"Kakashi-sensei, we need to talk."
"Oh?" The jounin didn't seem fazed, prompting a small twinge of annoyance from Iruka.
"About the example you're setting for your students. Naruto tells me you didn't show up for training today."
"Hmmm. No, I guess I didn't. Is there a problem?"
Iruka could have screamed. Instead, he got up from the bed and advanced on Kakashi, who, he noted with some satisfaction, looked startled and retreated from the chuunin.
"Is there a problem? Is there a PROBLEM?! You bet there's a problem! What kind of behavior are you modeling? You show up late to training over half the time, and after today, I wonder if you ever really mean to show up at all! That's three genins you leave unsupervised, one of whom happens to be the biggest prankster this village has ever seen!"
By this point, Kakashi was pressed against the wall. He attempted to interrupt the chuunin's tirade, but Iruka was having none of it.
"And what do you do on the days you actually bother to show up? You spend the entire day reading dirty books! Naruto's enough of a hentai without you reading PORN around him!" Iruka paused for air.
Kakashi, still flattened against the wall, ventured cautiously, "Iruka- sensei, you may want to calm your emotions."
Iruka's eyes snapped open and bored into the jounin's face with murderous intent. "How can I calm my emotions whenever you're around? You are the one person my composure runs in terror from the second you walk in the door!" Iruka closed the distance between them, reached up, and pulled Kakashi's mask down while tugging the hitai-ate free. "Unlike you, I don't have a mask that I can hide behind. I have to deal with my emotions as they surface. You want to know what I have to deal with every time I see you? Here, let me show you."
Iruka was feeling quite rash, having worked himself up into a state of frenzy. Therefore, it seemed only natural that he should pin Kakashi's wrists against the wall and lean in just slow enough to see those mismatched eyes widen marginally before he crushed their lips together. The kiss deepened quickly as tongues strayed from their respective mouths. Iruka was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. He pulled away, panting, and began peppering kisses up the jounin's neck.
"This-" A kiss. "-is how-" Another. "-you make-" Another. "-me feel-"
Iruka reached the other ninja's jaw and began tracing a path along it with his tongue. "-you lazy-" "-perverted-" "-son of a-"
Iruka reached Kakashi's earlobe and bit it gently, eliciting a soft gasp.
"You," an apologetic lick, "infuriate me." He pulled back and watched the jounin's eyes refocus.
"Well," came the slightly breathless response, "I try." A lazy grin on bruising lips. "Besides, how else am I supposed to get your attention?"
It was, Iruka reflected later, probably the fastest he'd ever undressed.
~~~~~~~~~~
The late, utterly un-foreboding morning sun slanted in through the window and awoke Iruka to the fact that he was warm, comfortable, and extremely late for his class.
"Kuso!" Iruka flung the covers off and tried to leap out of bed, only to find his progress impeded by a barely-awake Kakashi with a death grip around his middle.
"Erg. Cold. Blankets." The jounin squinted in the light.
"No, I have to get to the academy! I'm late enough as it is!"
"But I'm coooold." Kakashi, apparently, could do a surprisingly accurate impression of Naruto when not fully aware.
"But class-"
"Warm."
Iruka was having trouble contesting that argument. Torn between work and warmth, he teetered on the edge of the bed. "But-"
"Nn. Warm. Stay." Kakashi burrowed cat-like into what little of Iruka's side he could reach.
//Screw the academy//, Iruka decided, and crawled back in bed.
Team Seven never did figure out why neither sensei showed up that day.
~~~~~ owari ~~~~~
AN: Please leave a review if you liked it! Or even if you didn't, tell me what to improve next time. I just want someone to talk to meeee. ::breaks down and sobs hysterically::
Inspired by the list of symptoms on the front page of dolphinluff.deviantart.com, specifically the one that reads, "You dare to make Kakashi THE BITCH". That + random shower thoughts (thoughts that came to me while I was in the shower, ecchi!) = this fic.
Enjoy.
~~~~~ Punctuality
By: Jada Flame ~~~~~
It was one of those days that opened with a sense of foreboding. A day on which the world seemed to hold its breath while something was decided. A day of great importance in the cosmic sense.
"Hey, Iruka-sensei, buy me some ramen!"
Iruka looked up from the pile of papers he was trying to grade. "Naruto? What are you doing here?"
"I'm here because I'm hungry! And broke! And can we go to the Ichiraku now, sensei?"
"Don't you have a mission today? Or training, or something where you wouldn't be here, and you would be. umm. not here?" Iruka's voice took on a note of pleading.
Naruto grinned and looked vaguely embarrassed. "Well, I would be, but Kakashi-sensei never showed up today."
"Huh? What do you mean? It's almost two!"
"I mean he never showed up. Today we waited five hours past normal, which is three hours late, and he never came! So we just left."
Iruka's eyes narrowed. "Wait- this makes the third time this week that he's been at least late. Don't you get any training in anymore?"
"It's not really like we get any less training in. Sasuke and I usually end up sparring to pass the time- you should have seen me today! I was this close to kicking his ass! But, uh, anyway, for this whole week, whenever Kakashi-sensei shows up, he just tells us to keep sparring! And then he just sits there and reads Icha Icha Paradise the rest of the day."
"You mean he shows up late and then just reads PORN all day?!"
"Yep. Now what about that ramen?"
It was this day of great foreboding on which Iruka decided that something needed to be done about Kakashi.
~~~~~~~~~~
Later, when the day of great foreboding had turned into the evening of great foreboding, Iruka found himself deep in the lair of the creature known as Hatake Kakashi, jounin sensei.
Which wasn't particularly forbidding, as lairs of creatures go; just a small refrigeration unit, a bed and some shelves, and basic plumbing in a small room off the main one. There weren't any places to hide, had Iruka wanted to- and anyway, a jounin was a jounin, no matter how perverted or chronically tardy, right? So Iruka planted himself on the bed and waited.
It was just past ten when Kakashi finally stepped into the room, not even bothering to turn on a light. "Good evening, Iruka-sensei."
"Kakashi-sensei, we need to talk."
"Oh?" The jounin didn't seem fazed, prompting a small twinge of annoyance from Iruka.
"About the example you're setting for your students. Naruto tells me you didn't show up for training today."
"Hmmm. No, I guess I didn't. Is there a problem?"
Iruka could have screamed. Instead, he got up from the bed and advanced on Kakashi, who, he noted with some satisfaction, looked startled and retreated from the chuunin.
"Is there a problem? Is there a PROBLEM?! You bet there's a problem! What kind of behavior are you modeling? You show up late to training over half the time, and after today, I wonder if you ever really mean to show up at all! That's three genins you leave unsupervised, one of whom happens to be the biggest prankster this village has ever seen!"
By this point, Kakashi was pressed against the wall. He attempted to interrupt the chuunin's tirade, but Iruka was having none of it.
"And what do you do on the days you actually bother to show up? You spend the entire day reading dirty books! Naruto's enough of a hentai without you reading PORN around him!" Iruka paused for air.
Kakashi, still flattened against the wall, ventured cautiously, "Iruka- sensei, you may want to calm your emotions."
Iruka's eyes snapped open and bored into the jounin's face with murderous intent. "How can I calm my emotions whenever you're around? You are the one person my composure runs in terror from the second you walk in the door!" Iruka closed the distance between them, reached up, and pulled Kakashi's mask down while tugging the hitai-ate free. "Unlike you, I don't have a mask that I can hide behind. I have to deal with my emotions as they surface. You want to know what I have to deal with every time I see you? Here, let me show you."
Iruka was feeling quite rash, having worked himself up into a state of frenzy. Therefore, it seemed only natural that he should pin Kakashi's wrists against the wall and lean in just slow enough to see those mismatched eyes widen marginally before he crushed their lips together. The kiss deepened quickly as tongues strayed from their respective mouths. Iruka was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. He pulled away, panting, and began peppering kisses up the jounin's neck.
"This-" A kiss. "-is how-" Another. "-you make-" Another. "-me feel-"
Iruka reached the other ninja's jaw and began tracing a path along it with his tongue. "-you lazy-" "-perverted-" "-son of a-"
Iruka reached Kakashi's earlobe and bit it gently, eliciting a soft gasp.
"You," an apologetic lick, "infuriate me." He pulled back and watched the jounin's eyes refocus.
"Well," came the slightly breathless response, "I try." A lazy grin on bruising lips. "Besides, how else am I supposed to get your attention?"
It was, Iruka reflected later, probably the fastest he'd ever undressed.
~~~~~~~~~~
The late, utterly un-foreboding morning sun slanted in through the window and awoke Iruka to the fact that he was warm, comfortable, and extremely late for his class.
"Kuso!" Iruka flung the covers off and tried to leap out of bed, only to find his progress impeded by a barely-awake Kakashi with a death grip around his middle.
"Erg. Cold. Blankets." The jounin squinted in the light.
"No, I have to get to the academy! I'm late enough as it is!"
"But I'm coooold." Kakashi, apparently, could do a surprisingly accurate impression of Naruto when not fully aware.
"But class-"
"Warm."
Iruka was having trouble contesting that argument. Torn between work and warmth, he teetered on the edge of the bed. "But-"
"Nn. Warm. Stay." Kakashi burrowed cat-like into what little of Iruka's side he could reach.
//Screw the academy//, Iruka decided, and crawled back in bed.
Team Seven never did figure out why neither sensei showed up that day.
~~~~~ owari ~~~~~
AN: Please leave a review if you liked it! Or even if you didn't, tell me what to improve next time. I just want someone to talk to meeee. ::breaks down and sobs hysterically::
