Alone. She was all alone. She hated it, but she liked loneliness better than this twisted generation of foolish, two-dimensional, and predictable adolescents blinded by hormones. Even so, she was still merely a face among thousands of faces with no meaning at all. She lived her life with no purpose besides her belief that dying for no reason was cowardly, and that just wasn't who she was. Or, that's what she wanted to believe anyway.

But she needed something. She needed something to make this life worth living. And she'd do anything to get it.

.

I woke up to another gray, cloudy day. I set my alarm clock to go off at 6 so I could turn over and pretend to attempt to motivate myself to get through the day. As utterly pathetic as this sounds, I have an imaginary friend. I know, I'm 14. I should have finished going through that phase before preschool, but he's all the motivation I've got. I can't count on real people. All they do is disappoint me. I probably sound like I'm all high and mighty and think I never disappoint people, but that's far from the truth.

I am the worst of them all.

Hiroshi, where are you? I asked in my head.

"Right in front of your face." I heard him say, mockingly. And so his face appeared right in front of my face. I saw all of him. Or, at least I imagined him. I know he's not really there, but I imagine he's there, helping me through the day. Like always.

Hiroshi looks exactly like Hiroshi from the anime Ookami Kakushi, but they really don't have any connection other than that. I only pictured him like that because I like the name Hiroshi and that was what image appeared when I thought of his name. Their personalities and thoughts are totally different. Hiroshi from Ookami Kakushi is shy and reserved, but my Hiroshi is his polar opposite. He says the thoughts I don't like thinking. He screams them and sometimes takes them too far, but I admire that about him. He pushes me around in the mornings, partly because he's grumpy and partly because I won't listen otherwise. He amuses me at school when I lose interest in what the teachers try to shove into my brain in the 55 minute opportunity they're given each day. He sits in the seat next to me at lunch where nobody else will sit and we talk and make fun of people. He's there when I'm at home, alone, and in need of a hand to hold. He's the perfect boy for me. It's just so painful that he doesn't exist. It hits me sometimes, but I forget reality and go with my imagination, because otherwise I wouldn't be sane.

Hiroshiiiiii, I don't want to get up.

"Get your scrawny ass up. Come on. You're gonna be late."

So fucking what? Late to a day of nothing worth mentioning? Thanks but no thanks.

He sighs and pulls me out of bed, which really means I'm pulling myself out of bed. I know that in my head, but the part of me that's trying to keep me sane says that Hiroshi, my imaginary-best-friend-and-sometimes-boyfriend-depending-on-the-day is pulling me out of bed.

Fine, I tell him. I surrender. I throw on what I laid out the night before, jeans, a t-shirt with Mickey Mouse on it, and a gray jacket, and brush my teeth. I use the mouthwash that dyes all the crap in your mouth green because I find it amusing. Hiroshi can't comprehend why I like it so much. It's just mouthwash. I grab a bottle of Lipton tea from the fridge, grab my backpack, and go.

I don't take the bus, obviously. It's less work, but it takes just as long as walking does and it's filled with people. In this case, I'll take the road less traveled.

I walk the routine route until I reach the school gate. I looked up to the sky to admire the gray clouds, which was the type of weather I always liked. What do I get? A drop of water right in the eye. It starts to rain. I head inside the school, trying to avoid the coming rain. I just barely make it to class on time. Hiroshi scolds me for it, but he doesn't really mean it; he doesn't really care. The talking and other white noise in the background annoys me and the lesson bores me, so I ask for a pass to go to the bathroom. The teacher, like usual, doesn't care what I do and writes me one. I fast-walk to it. I head into one of the stalls, lock the door, and sit on the toilet (with the seat down. I'm not using it.) I bring my knees to my chest and put my head down, enjoying the silence. Hiroshi leaves me alone for a while.

I don't count the minutes. I lose track of time. I probably fell asleep. I heard two girls talking really loudly which snapped my attention back to this world.

"-is really creepy, right?"

"Yeah, totally."

"What are you talking about?"

"You haven't heard the stories about it yet? There are a ton of weird stories about that forest."

I wasn't really paying attention until they said the word "forest." There was one forest in this town that was my safe place. I had a tent there and I would go there every day because nobody else did. Home is where the heart is, right? My heart was there. That was my home. That forest in particular creeped a lot of people out though. I never learned why, but that was because nobody ever told me the stories that people told about it. Considering how antisocial I am, it shouldn't be surprising that I'm not caught up on the latest gossip.

"They say there are, like, ghosts that run through it."

"Not ghosts. Demons."

"Ghosts, demons, same thing."

"No, not really."

"Whatever! Anyway, these things feast on human souls. They eat a little piece every time you walk through it. If you go through it time and time again, you'll become soulless and… what's that word…"

"Apathetic?"

"Right. Soulless and apathetic."

"That's one story. Another story says that these things will grant you a wish, but once your wish is granted, they eat your soul."

"Oh, that sounds like a good deal, to be honest."

"Are you kidding? One measly wish for your fuggin' soul? You want to go to Heaven, right? Demons live in the deepest depths of Hell. Thanks, but no thanks. I don't want a resident of Hell granting me a wish of any kind."

My eyes widened. My stomach churned. I thought I was going to vomit for a second, but the feeling passed. Hiroshi was behind me, but I didn't notice when he got there. He put his hand on my shoulder, which forced me to think clearly for a second. I laughed a little.

Tch. Demons. What utter bullshit. Of course things like that don't exist. Right, Hiroshi?

"Of course," he said, reassuring me. I felt stupid for feeling so worked up over it now. I don't know why I got that way. Hiroshi rubbed my back, trying to soothe me. I felt better.

It sounded like the girls left. To be sure, I waited until the bell rang. I walked out of the stall and looked at the clock. It was lunch time. I slept through second and third period. I sighed and left the school. There was no point in me sitting through that noisy prison that people call the cafeteria when I already missed half the day and had to make up a ton of work tomorrow anyway. All I had left were unimportant classes (Student Aide, Gym and Music Appreciation.)

"I don't see the point of staying here either," Hiroshi agreed. "Just go. Nobody cares. Just have your mom write a note for tomorrow."

I nodded to him and tried to casually make my way to the front doors and out the parking lot. Juniors and seniors left during lunch all the time, so it didn't look that strange that I was leaving.

Once I was in the parking lot, I ran from the school. I felt a tear fall down my cheek, and Hiroshi wiped it from my face as I was running. Don't ask how that makes sense; I have no flipping idea. Never question Hiroshi.

I was running to the forest. The gloomy sky complemented the scenery of it perfectly. It was late fall, so the cold made a lot of the trees bare. The ground was covered in dead leaves. The air smelled like rain. I ran and ran, sprinting past tree after tree after tree. I arrived at my tent that I had set up in my special spot, and I dashed inside it.

Inside my tent, there really wasn't anything important, just in case someone stumbled upon it and thought they could take whatever they wanted from inside, which happened from time to time. I didn't own that spot after all. There were three blankets, two pillows, and a few books that I got at Borders. I turned on my iPod that was in my pocket and listened to music with Hiroshi.

So I've been sleeping with this silence in my mind,

All I see scares me.

And no one knows it, but she saved me.

I leaned my head on Hiroshi's shoulder. He smiled. I felt at peace for a minute.

So I've been sleeping with this silence in my brain.

Awakening here every day in this goddamn place.

I won't wait here anymore.

Those lyrics repeated in my head. I won't wait here anymore. I won't wait here anymore. I won't wait here anymore. I won't wait here anymore. I won't wait here anymore.

Hiroshi wasn't there anymore. I realized that he never was there. My savior doesn't exist. My only ally is a pathetic figment of my imagination. I had a headache. Tears flowed from my eyes like a river.

Now look. You've made a fool out of love.

When all we want is to be enough.

When all we want is to feel enough.

The words repeated again and again. I won't wait here anymore. I won't wait here anymore. I won't wait here anymore. I won't wait here anymore. I crawled outside of my tent and stood up.

"I WON'T WAIT HERE ANYMORE!" I screamed. "COME ON, FUCKING DEMON. GRANT ME A WISH. TAKE MY SOUL. TAKE IT. I DON'T NEED IT." I waited a minute. "COME ON OUT, COWARD. DOESN'T MY SOUL LOOK TASTY?"

Nothing happened. I laughed at myself, softly at first, but my volume increased.

"My soul is probably disgusting anyway."

I heard soft laughter. I thought it was my own at first; I thought I finally cracked. But then bits and pieces of the world turned to black before my eyes until I was standing in pure darkness. I would have looked around, but there was no point. There's no way in hell that I'd be able to see anything.

"You're quite calm considering what's just happened to you," I heard a voice say. It was a male's voice. He sounded confident, and almost arrogant, but humble at the same time. It was kind of difficult to describe.

"Wasn't this what I asked for just now?" I asked. My voice was quivering a bit. Not out of fear, but out of the sorrow that Hiroshi wasn't by my side.

The man chuckled again. "Indeed it was. So," the voice stopped. A face appeared before my eyes, but only a face. It was wearing a black mask over its eyes, so I couldn't see them very well, but I saw its smile. It was the smile of a sly and crafty individual. "What is your wish? What is that desire that's so great that you're willing to sacrifice your soul for?"

"I want…" I thought about it. What did I really want? What kind of wish was I hoping for? The demon scoffed at me.

"You don't even know what to wish for?"

"No! That's not it!" I tried to put my thoughts into words. "I want… to just live a happy life for a little while. My surrounding doesn't even have to be happy. I just want to be in a place where people acknowledge my existence. I want... to be accepted. Yeah, I think that's right."

"That's simple eno-"

"No, I wasn't finished." I interrupted. "I don't want to be accepted by these shallow people who don't understand that the problems they go through aren't real problems at all. I want… to live in the past! Yes, that's it! Like, the 1800s or something! Those are the people I want to live my life with."

"Oh, is that so?" The face before me disappeared. What took its place was a man that was dressed formally, but not formally like in a tuxedo. He looked more like a butler. He looked like a normal person, except for his eyes, which where a deep red. I pictured a demon to look more like a beast of some kind. His hand was to his chin, and he looked as if he was deep in thought. "I suppose I could do that. You're aware of the consequences to have this wish granted, aren't you? Once one has rejected faith, it is impossible for them to pass through the gates of Heaven."

I laughed like a psychopath. "Would someone who believed in God summon a demon?" I asked.

The man laughed too. He seemed truly amused this time. "Wise words, young lady. I will ask you this only once more: Are you sure that you wish to form this contract? It can not be broken."

"You talk too much. Hurry up and make the fucking contract."

He chuckled yet again. "I would appreciate it if you keep in mind that you're talking to a demon."

"Please hurry up and make the fucking contract then."

"As you wish."

I felt a terrible burning sensation on my neck. My neck muscles tensed up and it hurt like hell, no pun intended. I yelled out curse words left and right. Just as quickly as it started, the pain stopped.

And so my new life began.