They call me Lef, 'cause I was found on the left side of the door of Captain Yarg's Shipwreck Hospital. It's really just a grease-pit, but the name brings in more business. Another reason, maybe, for my name is that I was just "lef'" on the street. I don't know, Yarg gave me the name.
Yeah, Yarg's a real guy, all right. He's a Devaronian, and they say he fought in the Clone Wars, but I don't really believe it. I mean, you'd think he'd have some permanent wounds, wouldnchya? Like, you know, some scars or something? But nope, Yarg's just this big guy who's all red and old looking and likes to wear Nerf-hide jackets all the time. He took me in from the harshness and loneliness of the street (I was out there an hour, tops, but I was just a baby, so give me some slack, all right?) and taught me all about ships and blasters. As I aged I naturally became a little bored with just these subjects, so I decided to branch out into alien languages and customs, and sometimes even histories.
I read all about the Clone Wars and the Jedi and Sith. Some of those stories seemed a little far-fetched to me, though. I mean, come on, a guy who shoots lasers out of his hands and can heal people just by touchin' 'em? You'd have to be whacko to believe that nonsense. It does make for very entertaining reading at the end of the day, so I kept researching those legends.
Skippin' ahead a few years, to where this story really begins, I just had my 18th birthday a couple of weeks ago and Yarg's gonna finally give me that Y-Wing I've waited so long for. As soon as I cough up the cash, that is. Oh well, it would be mine someday.
Yarg's sort of a hero to the homeless urchins of this sector of this level of Smuggler's Moon (pretty specific, I know, but it's still a good average of 5,000 or so beings). He's had almost a hundred kids of all species through this place since I've been here, but at the moment his "helpers" include: Shib, a Bith male (gleaming bald head and all) who wants to be an accountant or lawyer or sumthin' (talk about brainiac); P'larksak, a female Trandoshan reptilian who is unusually small for her kind (about six feet tall at age thirteen, now she's almost eight feet, three inches) and dreams of one day opening her own dealership; a couple of random Jawas that usually stay out of the way and don't steal parts; another human male from Coruscant (like me) but he's only ten, so he's not very interestin' yet; Xeemo (pronounced "zeem-oh"), a dark-green Rodian girl only two months older than me and very handy with droids; and of course myself, a human from Coruscant originally.
Yarg makes us clean the shop and work on the "easier" cases that come in. Lately however, there have been fewer jobs, thanks to the Imperial crackdown on custom/modified ships (not to mention the smugglin' business in general). Unfortunately for us orphans here at Yarg's place, all we knew was fixin' ships, and that was all we ever wanted to do. Less money came in, but we made do.
Anyway, like I was sayin' before, I'm savin' up for that Y, and lookin' around for a girlfriend, not that I could spoil her or anything, but I could really use the companionship. I've been thinkin' of askin' Xeemo out on a date, but I'm worried she won't say yes. See, I haven't had much luck with the ladies thus far.
For example, I was seein' this Twi'lek girl last year, but she broke up with me after just two weeks. She said it was because I was "a perverted two-timer", but that's just unfair! I've never two-timed in my life!
And the year before that I was with a human named Patrish, but we fell apart because she "met somebody else". How am I suppos't to compete with that?
But y'know, I think Xeemo just might be the one. We share similar hobbies, there isn't a great age difference, we're both single, it could work. In fact, I think I'll go ask Yarg's advice about it right now.
"Hey Yarg!"
"I'm busy with this power coupling, what do you want?"
"I need to have a heart to heart with you about the women-folk, Yarg."
"Well, you should really come back later, but I'll talk to ya now, Lef. What's on yer mind?"
"I was kinda hopin' for some advice on how to deal with 'em in general, y'know, like, keep a steady relationship or sumthin'."
"I'm gonna tell ya what I always tell ya, the more ya do something, the easier it becomes. Now interpersonal relationships are not my best subject, but remember to communicate effectively, always be honest with each other, and love her for who she is, not what she looks like. Why, need some help talkin' to X over there?"
"Wha-, how did you know?"
"Don't play dumb, kid. I've seen the way you've been lookin' at her ever since she came here. I think you two might make a good couple. I say go for it."
"Easy for you to say. Thanks, Yarg."
"Don't mention it. Really. Now get outta my hair, I'm workin' here."
That night I asked Xeemo out for the first time in my seven or so years of knowin' her. She accepted my offer, but made it plain that she wasn't a "cheap screw", not that I would want a girl like that or anythin'. Anyhow, we went to Maggie-Pono's Diner, a ten-minute walk from Yarg's place. We talked a bit on the way there, and really got jawin' after we had both placed our orders.
"So, you like droids, huh?" I asked dumbly.
"Well, yeah, it's pretty much my life, fixin' up those guys. You of all people should know that, Lef." Xeemo condescended, crossing her legs under the table.
"Yeah, but it's hard to find the words, y'know?"
"I know, believe me." She stared into my eyes. "You know how many jerks I've gone out with over the years. Every time I feel the same; captivated by their physical attractiveness, but let down after the quick realization of how shallow they really are. But every time, I feel nervous and stupid, I think that's just how first dates are."
"Wow, you're being really understanding." I blushed. "Gee, I hope I'm not sounding too blunt, or anythin'..."
Xeemo blushed, "Well, if we're going to be friends, we need to be honest with each other."
"Ayup," I nodded. "Honesty is the best democracy, they say."
"OK, now you're just being silly."
It was at that moment that the Toydarian waitress fluttered over to our table and set down our orders. I had the Traladon sandwich, and Xeemo selected the Mynock Surprise (which sorta grossed me out, so I tried not to look at it).
"This looks good," I remarked lamely.
"It does, doesn't it?" she said, breathing in the aroma deeply with her supple snout. "The sauce seems especially pungent today."
"You come here a lot?"
"Oh, yes indeed. It's one of my favorite restaurants on this level, to tell the truth. I just love how they prepare the Mynock and Centicrab here. Plus the staff is friendly and the prices don't pinch. Have you ever eaten here before?"
"No, but I'll make a point of it to do so in the future."
"So… how come you've never asked me out before?" She tilted her head.
"Um… mind if I take a bite and consider that question a bit?"
"Go ahead, but I expect a good answer when you're done."
"OK," chew, chew, chew, swallow. "Uh, I guess because I was distracted by empty sluts, just like you were."
"What!" She started. "Are you calling me? Oh… oh, I get it. OK, but that still doesn't explain why I've never even felt any sort of affection from you until today."
"You're right, but I guess I was just…"
"What?" she leans forward. "What were you just?"
"I don't want to sound like a bigot."
"Tell me, or the entire bill is on you."
"Um, I was gonna pay for it all any-"
"Tell me!"
"OK! Don't have a nerf! I was… intimidated, I guess, by your… um… physiology."
She starts giggling, and I look a little distressed. "That's what was buggin' you? My physiology?" Her giggles increase in volume and speed until they peter out after a few seconds. "OK, you've been with a Twi'lek, right?"
I nod.
"Well, I'm pretty much the same under these denims as her, so really you've got nothing to be worried about there."
"I know, I read a medical book about Rodians, so I know what they look like, but this was after all those other bimbos."
"Oh, so I'm a bimbo now?"
"Huh?" my face scrunches up. "No! I didn't mean it that way! Ugh, I've never even SLEPT with ANYONE BEFORE!"
The room suddenly goes perfectly silent, and then Xeemo bursts out laughing as I try to sink into my seat.
"You moron!" she jeered. "We're in public here! You can't just go around exposing your darkest secrets in public!" She grabs the sleeve of a nearby customer. "Hey, did you hear this nerf-herder just now? He admitted to being a virgin! Hahahahahahaha!"
I blocked the rest out until we were back on the street, returning to Yarg's Spaceship Hospital.
"So Lef," Xeemo changed the subject. "Why are you so fascinated with Y-Wings? Most pilots your age fancy the flashy and quick X-Wing, but you're not really a hot dog, are you?"
"Hmmm, I guess not. I think the design and durability of the Y is what initially attracted me, and the bombin' capability and larger cockpit also come in useful. What, I can't want to live to fight more than one battle?"
"I can understand that, but aren't X's easier to maintenance and a little cheaper?"
"Sure, and the Y doesn't have any parts that move around besides the landin' gear, but it's still better defensively and where basic firepower might is concerned."
"OK, but—Listen to us, we sound like a couple of aging gear-heads! Let's talk about something that doesn't have to do with fighters and mechanics. Let's lighten the mood here."
"OK, got any ideas?" I really was at a loss.
"Ooh! Did you see the Boonta race last night?"
"I thought the Emperor banned all the Podraces."
"Yeah, it was a rerun. Hmm, by your frowning features and downcast demeanor I take it you are not fond of the Pods?"
"Not really, no. Uh, how do you feel about Hoverin'?"
"It looks like fun, but I've never tried it myself. That's kid stuff anyway. Why? Do you Hover often?"
"Just when I have the time. I could let you use my old one if you want to give it a try."
"All right, it's a deal. I'll be waiting at your station tomorrow night in great anticipation of falling on my ass."
"Sounds like fun. Oh, we're at your place all ready."
We stopped walking and stood there fidgeting.
"Looks that way."
"Um, I guess this is good night then." I stared at my tapping boots.
"Yeah, guess so." She looked down at her dirty coveralls.
We stood there awkwardly outside the entrance to Xeemo's complex for what seemed like years before she spoke up again.
"Lef," she paused. "I… had a really nice time tonight."
"Me too." Mentally, I slapped myself for being so short with words.
"Dolpee Kikyuna. U kulle rah doe kankee kung."
Huh? I thought to myself. Why is she speakin' Huttese, all of a sudden? She said somethin' about being my scummy friend, I think. Man, I really need to brush up on my non-Basic.
"Er," I began. "Same to you, and I hope to see you well tomorrow."
"Sorry, sometimes that slips out. Huttese was my first language, and I'm kinda nervous, so…"
"Oh I understand, that's perfectly all right." By this time Xeemo was holding my head in one hand and my shoulder in the other. "Um, what are you doin'?"
"Oh, just kissing you." And kiss me she sure did. The end of her proboscis spread wide to envelop my mouth and sucked my tongue in and out a couple times before releasing, leaving me paralyzed with shock and a little turned on.
"I'm sorry! I let myself get carried away! I hope this doesn't change the way we feel about each other!"
I waved mechanically at her, trying to communicate that it was all right until I could get my breath back. "It's OK, it's OK," I repeated. "That was actually… nice, though it did catch me off guard."
"Oh, OK. Um, gotta run, see you tomorrow!" And with that Xeemo dashed up the short flight of steps and into the complex, glancing back at me as she went through the door.
I waved at her silently until she was no longer visible, and then began walking back to Yarg's place, thinking about Xeemo the whole trip.
