It's been two days. Two days since Peeta planted the primroses. Yesterday he and Sae came over with fresh bread. We were silent as we ate. I had so much I wanted to say, but couldn't figure out how. The Capitol ruined our easy relationship, along with a lot of other things. I would make a list, but I would never stop adding things to it.

Now, I sit on my couch, flipping through channels, quickly looking away when my face or Peeta's appears. We have both been the subject of gossip all around Panem. "Are the star-crossed lovers back together? Is Katniss pregnant?" These questions have been asked since the day Peeta arrived back in District 12.

You'd think the Capitol would be tired of us by now. We've wrecked their nation, murdered their people, and demolished their precious games, but yet, they keep coming back for more. There's a knock at the door and I get up to open it. Peeta stands quite a distance away from the door with a small white box in his hands. "I thought you might want some bread," he says. I notice his hands, damaged, but healing far faster than mine. I can tell he's been baking. I can see fresh burns across his new patchwork skin.

"You don't have to do this," I say. "I want to," he says. I feel as if I should invite him in so I open my door a little more and gesture for him to come. He's hesitant at first, but he soon comes in. He sets the white box on the counter and I open it, finding two symmetrical cheese buns. I smile at the memories that flood my mind. I remember the days after the victory tour, after we agreed to be friends, when Peeta would bring two of these buns over and we would share them. "They're your favorite. Real or not real?" he asks. "Real," I whisper.

I walk to one of my drawers and pull out a knife. I pull out one bun and cut two slices from it. "Are you sure?" he asks. "Oh shut up and eat your bread," I joke. His face tenses and I know I've made a mistake. In our first games, he was fading fast. I was trying to be a nurse but I had no idea what I was doing and I said that for all I knew I was killing him. When he asked me if I could speed it up I told him to shut up and eat your pairs. The Capitol must have tampered with this memory because it had to do with me saying I was killing him. What I said was too similar to that memory.

His burnt hands ball up into fists and his pupils dilate. I slowly back away from the counter trying not to make a noise. "You tried to kill me!" he yells. "That mutt tried to kill me!" "Peeta," I say as calmly as I can. "Everything's okay. It's going to be okay." "You're a liar!" he yells, walking closer to me. I back away, but he follows me. "You killed my family and you tried to kill me!" he yells. He raises his hands like he's going to wrap them around my throat, but before he has time to, or I have time to think, I grab his neck and kiss him. He takes a sharp breath through his nose and he squeezes his eyes shut. He grabs my arms and digs his fingers into my weak skin. I almost pull away because of the pain, but this is the first time I've kissed Peeta since we were in the Capitol and I must admit that I've longed for another. It's not like our other kisses though. I've never kissed him during an episode. His lips are very tense and while the steadiness that he brings to everything, it doesn't feel like him. It feels aggressive. Like… like Gale. I'm about to pull away, the pain of thinking of Gale getting the best of me, when Peeta's hands let go of me and he slides to the floor unconscious.

What is going on? Shouldn't I be the one unconscious on the floor right now? I pick up my phone and call the only person that has the answer, Dr. Aurelius. He picks up almost instantly. "Katniss," he says a little too excitedly. "Is everything okay?" "No," I snap. "It's Peeta. He had an episode and now he's passed out on my kitchen floor. Why did he pass out?" "Wait he's at your house?" he asks. I hear the shuffling of papers and I can tell he's writing this down. "That's good!" he says. "That's improvement. What were you two doing?" "Answer the question!" I yell. "Why did he pass out?" "Episodes can take a lot of energy out of the victim of the hijacking. It must have been a pretty bad episode. How did you react to the flashback? Sometimes that effects how he acts." "I just stayed away from him," I say. I'm not going to tell him that I kissed Peeta. I can't handle rumors about star-crossed lovers anymore.

"Tell me what I need to do," I say. "Just leave him," he says. "If he wakes up in a new environment it might confuse him and he could have another flashback. Just put him on the couch or something. Now how are you doing Katniss?" I hang up the phone. I don't want to talk about myself right now. I walk out the door and head to Haymitch's house. There's no way I can carry Peeta. I've lost a lot of weight and I'm very weak. When I get there, I don't even bother to knock. I am greeted by the all too familiar stench of liquor and cabbage and a drunken Haymitch passed out at the table. I make sure to remove the knife from his hand before trying to wake him. When he doesn't budge, I pour a bucket of water on his head. He sputters and swings his arm until he realizes it's just me and the knife is gone. "What do you want?" he asks as he drinks the dregs out of a bottle that was on the ground. "Just come on," I snap and grab his hand.

He stumbles over some trash before making it to the door. When we get to my house Peeta is still lying on the floor. "Help me pick him up," I order. "What'd you do to him?" he asks. "Nothing just lift," I snap. I grab his arms while Haymitch grabs his legs. Slowly, we move him to the couch and I rest his head under a pillow. "Now explain what happened to lover boy," he says. "He had a flashback," I shrug. He gets up and begins going through my cabinets. "Got any liquor?" he asks. I yank a bottle from a cabinet that's been there since before the Quell. He grabs it and stumbles out the door.

While Peeta is asleep I run upstairs to take a shower. I set it on the gentlest setting and step in. It feels good on my skin, the combination of oils and light water pressure. After the shower I step in front of the mirror and look at the patchwork I have turned into. I am not the person I was before the Quell. I am no longer a person. I'm a fire mutt.

I should use my skin medicine but I could really care less about it right now. I open my drawer and grab a grey t-shirt and black sweatpants. I get dressed and wrap my hair in a towel. Just as I'm about to go find some socks, there's a faint tap at my door. I slowly open the door and Peeta stands, with pained eyes, a few paces from the door. "Are you okay?" he asks. "I'm fine Peeta," I say. "I'm the one who should be asking if you're alright." "I woke up and you weren't there. I got scared," he says. "I was scared I did something." "Well you passed out and I put you on my couch. Dr. Aurelius said that's what I needed to do." "Thank you Katniss," he says with a pained smile while he looks at my lips. Does he remember the kiss? I hope not. It would just make things complicated. "I look out the window and see the sun setting. "You should get home," I say. "It's getting dark." He gives a slight smile and leaves me alone in the house that is not a home.