For this story, I'll be using the original Australian version of Thank God You're Here, since I reckon it's better than the US version. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Ben 10 and Thank God You're Here. Ben 10 belongs to Cartoon Network and Thank God You're Here belongs to NBC and Network Ten Australia.
Genre: Humour
Rating: T, for some language
Thank Ben You're Here
'Everyone now backstage, the show is about to start!'
'Alright!' Ben, Gwen and Grandpa Max came up from their seats and headed off. Ben was the most excited about this night. While on the road trip, Ben had heard on the radio that a show from Australia was coming to the US for a special episode of the show called Thank God You're Here. Although he wasn't sure on what it was about, he immediately wanted in. So did Gwen. Grandpa agreed after a while.
At the TV studio, they were walking towards the stage. As they did, Ben could hear the announcer's voice in the background:
'Tonight, three very special guests: superhero Ben Tennyson, cousin Gwen Tennyson, and Grandpa Max, as they face the ultimate dramatic challenge on… Thank God You're Here!'
Then, the main title music started playing. As they headed backstage, they were asked not to go on until announced. But they managed to hear the host Shane Bourne make the introduction.
'Thank you very much, folks, and welcome to Thank God You're Here. This is the show where we give our guest performers a costume, a set, a few props… everything but a script. It makes it a bit tricky for them, but it's a lot more entertaining for us! Tonight is a very special show, because we have three very special guests tonight. Would you please make them welcome, Ben Tennyson, Gwen Tennyson and Grandpa Max!'
As another piece of music started playing, Ben, Gwen and Grandpa walked onto the stage where they were greeted by a huge audience. They then stood beside Shane for the introduction.
'Now, you're leaping into the unknown, which I'm sure you, Ben, have done lots of times with that watch of yours. How are you feeling?' asked Shane.
'I'm pretty confident. I was actually asked early on not to use it during my time on stage.'
'That's right. We just want to make it a bit harder for you. Now I'll ask about the costumes, because you haven't seen the costumes, have you?'
'No,' said Gwen. 'There's a lot of locked doors, No Entrys, covers, so we haven't seen them yet.'
'Okay. Now, Grandpa Max. You must've taken a lot of persuading to be on this show.'
'Well, for someone like me, it took quite a lot of persuading!'
'That's great. Now head off backstage to get into your costumes. Wish them luck, folks.'
The audience cheered as Ben, Gwen and Grandpa headed backstage for the costumes.
'Now, the good news is that no one gets voted off or evicted. There is no loser, but there is a winner who will walk away with the coveted Thank God You're Here trophy.'
He then grabbed the trophy from a crew member.
'Now, the person who is in charge of choosing the winner tonight is none other than our very own judge, Tom Gleisner.'
Backstage, Ben was busy getting dressed into a costume. As he did, he overheard Tom taking about closing the scene.
'I am authorized to hit this button. It will bring the scene to a dignified close.'
'Can we hear it now?'
'I'm not sure whether I'm authorized to do so, but let's see how it goes.'
As he hits the button, a loud hooter was heard. Ben realized that this was the signal to end. But he then realized that he wasn't completely dressed yet. But one of the crew managed to put on one last detail and send him off as Shane introduced him to the stage.
'It's now time for our first scene for tonight, and stepping into it is one boy who has made his mark as a superhero. He's one part boy, ten parts hero, let's hear it for Ben Tennyson!'
As he announced his name, Ben was suddenly pushed onto the stage, where he met up with Shane. Ben was dressed in an NASA-type outfit.
'Wow. Do you know what's happening with this?'
'No, I don't even know what this is either.' He was holding a weird pole of some sort.
'Well, there's only one way to find out. Hand on the knob, Ben Tennyson, good luck.'
'Thanks.' As Ben opened the door, he was suddenly blinded by flashing cameras. A man then walked up to Ben.
'Thank God You're Here. The press conference is about to start.' He then led Ben to a seat where there was a lot of microphones and sat down.
'Ladies and gentlemen, Ben Armstrong.' The audience applauded as Ben sat down onto his seat. 'Now, Ben has agreed to answer any questions that you have for him.' He then pointed to another man.
'Ben, congratulations on your return to Earth. Where have you just come from?'
'Uh… Uranus.' The audience laughed. 'It was pretty cold down there. Almost like -50 degrees down there.'
'I was just wondering that when you came out of the spaceship, you pointed at someone and blew them a kiss. Who was it?'
'My mum,' said Ben, quickly.
Another man then spoke. 'What was the name of your spaceship?'
'The… uh…' The audience laughed as Ben tried to think of something. 'The SS Titanic.' The audience laughed and clapped. 'Unsinkable.'
'Now, I noticed that you brought something back from Mars. What is it?'
Ben then realized that he was talking about the weird pole. It was silver and had weird markings on it.
'It's a pole for strip clubs on Mars. The markings show how much money they're making.' He then saw a third man. 'Yes?'
'I also heard that you left something behind. What was it?'
'Gwen.' The audience laughed out loud and clapped. Ben then pointed to the first man. 'Yes?'
'I heard reports that during your time in space, you spotted a UFO. What did it look like?'
'It was… uh… pretty much like on The X-Files. Silver, with the round top.'
'We actually have other reports that it wasn't a UFO. If it wasn't then what could it have been?'
'Gee, uh…' The audience laughed. 'I don't what else it could've been.' He then pointed to the third man. 'One last question?'
'If we could, Ben, could we see your famous victory dance one last time?'
The audience laughed. 'OK.' He then got up and walked to the front. He then started dancing like Saturday Night Fever. As the audience laughed, the hooter was heard and Ben stopped. The audience cheered and clapped as Shane walked up to Ben.
'You did not miss one beat!'
'I know. It's not as hard as you think.'
Shane then turned to Tom. 'Tom, what did you think?'
'Ben, I think that's the kind of astronauts we need here today, apart from the fact that the dance is copyrighted, but having explained a pole from an alien strip club and a spaceship that could explain the space version of Titanic, you did it without taking a breath. Well done.' The audience cheered.
'Excellent. We'll be right back with more of Thank God You're Here.'
Later, Shane was back on stage with Gwen being changed.
'Welcome back. Now our next guest as proved herself as a bit of a hero herself. Having become Lucky Girl, then destroying the charms for the good. I think she's better as she is! Let's give it up for Miss Gwen Tennyson!!'
As the audience cheered, Gwen ran out onto the stage and stood next to Shane. Gwen was wearing long pants and a shirt with a logo on it.
'Now, that is what I call style. How are you feeling?'
'I'm feeling a bit nervous, but I think I can get through this one.'
'Okay. You see that door? You're not going through there. Come with me.' He then took Gwen backstage to the back of the set. 'Now, this is your entrance here. As you can tell, the reveal is happening right now, so all I'm going to say is, Gwen Tennyson, good luck.'
'Thanks.' He walked off, then another man came walking in.
'Thank God You're Here. The people have been waiting for this for a while, so let's set up the introduction.'
'Okay.' He then commanded Gwen to stand at the doorway, as the man lit something up. He then went to the front and onto the set, where three other men are waiting.
'Now, here is the founder of Big Bang Fireworks, Jessie Vincent!' As he shouted her name, the roman candles exploded behind Gwen. The audience cheered, clapped and whistled as Gwen made her way onto the set. The roman candles were then finished as she made her way beside the man.
'Thank you all for coming. I hope you liked… what just happened then,' said Gwen.
'Now, as you may know, we've asked you here because you've done so much things for great events, like New Years Eve, weddings, birthdays, even the 4th of July which you're so famous for. Well, the 4th of July is upon us again, and we want to see some of your products that will make this the best 4th of July ever. But first of all, tell us. What is it that makes Big Bang Fireworks so popular?'
'Well, we've sold more than we could ever hope for… and uh… just simply that.'
'We also heard that you give workshop sessions on setting up a display. How does that work?'
'Well, we offer our customers or students free lessons on setting up a display, so that when they buy from our range, they know how to set up their own show.'
'Excellent. Well, we'd better get started.' The man then walked to a display board and took the first one down. The audience laughed as the image was a small black disc. 'Tell us about this one, Jessie.'
'Well…' The audience laughed. 'This is best suited for smaller kids, and… all it does is shoot out very tiny sparks. So it's safe for the kids.'
'What did you call this one?' asked the second man.
'I call it… The Small Spark.' The audience laughed.
'Okay, let's move on.' The man then took the image down to show another one. This time, the image was a mushroom cloud explosion. The audience laughed.
'Well, this is the corporate image for this product, and it's designed for those with more edge. This shoots up in the air, and lets out a big boom, almost like an explosion, except that the colours will be red and yellow.'
'Excellent,' said the second man. 'Now, we also know that you take your products seriously, and you just wouldn't be successful without a corporate logo featuring yourself. May we see that?'
As the man took down the image, the audience roared out loud laughing. The image was Gwen, in a swimsuit, lying on a giant rocket! Gwen was trying not to laugh.
'Uh… I think… I think this was Ben's idea.' As the audience laughed, the hooter was heard and the audience clapped and cheered as Shane came onto the set.
'Ben's idea. How could you think of something like that?'
'I don't know. Sibling rivalry, I guess.'
Shane then turned to Tom. 'What did you think, Tom?'
'Gwen, there's something about a swimsuit girl lying on top of a firework that spells success. All you could think of was revenge. But you took on an unusual image. Great intro, great performance, well done!' The audience cheered and whistled.
'Great work. We'll be right back for more of Thank God You're Here!'
Later, Shane was back on stage with Grandpa Max getting changed.
'It's now time for our final guest this evening. Now, what started out as a normal human turned out to be quite a man in possession of alien technology. What will tonight bring him? Let's find out as we welcome Grandpa Max!'
Grandpa walked to the stage as the audience cheered. He was wearing a brown jacket, white shirt, black pants and black shoes.
'Well, what does this say to you?'
'I don't know. I could be anyone.'
'Yeah, you never know. Hand on the door. Grandpa Max, good luck.'
As Grandpa entered the room, he saw a woman walk towards him.
'Thank God You're Here. What's the latest word from Headquarters?'
'Well, uh, they're just receiving information now.'
'Good. The crime scene is just here.' She then led Grandpa to where there were banners around the kitchen bench. He then was greeted by a man who was dressed as a police officer.
'I'm glad you could make it, detective. Tell me, what is your official rank?'
'Uh, I'm a private detective.'
'And what is it that you do?'
'I, uh… I keep a low profile… and I help solve crimes without anyone knowing.'
'Excellent. I heard that you are an expert on DNA profiling. What does DNA stand for?'
'Uh…' The audience laughed. 'Dimwits… Never… Accelerates.' The audience laughed and clapped.
'Come, detective.' He then led Grandpa to the bench, where there were odd items on it. Grandpa picked one up and looked at it.
'We were told that you don't use fingerprints. What kind of prints do you prefer?'
'Tongue prints.'
'Really?'
'Yeah, in case someone may have licked it for protection.' The audience laughed.
'Have a look here.' He then led Grandpa to a door. It had dust marks on it and blood stains on it.
'What can we tell from these markings, detective?'
'They, uh… it was pretty gruesome here. Someone must've used makeup as a weapon.'
'Could this be a vital clue?'
'I think so. In fact, I know who did this.'
'You do? Excellent.' The policeman then took out a notepad and pencil. 'Give us a profile of the person responsible.'
'Uh, his name is Derrick… and uh… he sometimes likes to steal makeup for all kinds. Powder, eye gloss… you name it.'
'Well, thanks for your help. You know, some people say, 'Crime never pays'. But you say…'
'It's cheaper than life, isn't it?'
The audience laughed as the hooter sounded again. Shane came in to meet Grandpa.
'That was spectacular. Tom, what did you think?'
'Again, a great performance. I'll have to be quick because if Universal finds that we've got their set, they're going to be angry. But, your display of thinking on your feet has been great. Well done.' The audience cheered once again.
'Excellent, indeed. We'll be right back with more Thank God You're Here!'
Later, Shane was back on stage with Ben, Gwen and Grandpa Max changing.
'Welcome back. It's now time for the All-In Challenge, in which all our guests come in for a final showdown. Let's now welcome back Ben Tennyson, Gwen Tennyson and Grandpa Max!'
The audience cheered as they came back onto the stage. Ben was wearing a swim short, while Gwen was wearing a red bikini (getting a couple of whistles from the audience), and Grandpa Max was wearing a photographer's outfit.
'Well, whadda you know? I'm sure you, Gwen, have some idea of what your costume is.'
'Gee, really?' said Gwen, laughing. 'I'm not sure of what's going to happen.'
'Well, go through the door and find out. A round of applause for the All-In Group Challenge!'
The audience cheered as they entered onto the set. On one side, there was sand and a beach landscape. The other side was lights and cameras. A man greeted them.
'Thank God You're Here. If you two could make your way to the set there.' Ben and Gwen walked up to the beach set. 'Now, could you classify your names, please?'
'I'm Jarred, this is Lisa, and this is Glen.'
'Good. Now, as you may know, we are doing a photo shoot today for a beach in southern California. I'm sure you know what that beach is called.'
'Uh…' said Grandpa. 'California Beach.' The audience laughed.
'That's right. Now, you, Glen, are my assistant, and you two are my stars. What I want you to do, Glen, is to get my camera and my super-wide lens. You know what that means, do you?'
'Sure. It…' The audience laughed. 'It means… uh… they're super long, for wide shots.' As Grandpa went to get the camera and lens, the man turned to Gwen and Ben.
'Now, I'll be doing group shots and individual shots for this shoot. I'll just assume that you know your poses and I'll just to know one other thing. Jarred, I read your resume and I couldn't help noticing that your previous job was politician.' The audience laughed.
'Well, uh, I felt it was a good start at the time, and I… I just rolled with it.'
'I see. Well, now we can start the shoot. We'll start with you Jarred. So, Lisa, you can relax for a bit.' Lisa walked off as Ben started posing as the man started taking photos. 'Yes, excellent. Good one. Now that's plenty.' As Ben walked off, Gwen walked onto the sand.
'Now, before we begin with you, Glen. You know where these photos go to once they're developed.'
'They… they go to a photo shop… and are ready to be picked up.'
'Good, now for you, Lisa.' As he started taking photos, Gwen started posing in many forms. She sat, layed, stood, and even blew out a kiss at one point.
'Excellent. I can now say that it was a successful shoot. Before you go, what's the famous slogan for California Beach?'
They looked each other and then said, 'It's the beach that never sleeps.' Ben then added, 'And the beach that is never dusty.'
As the audience laughed, the hooter was heard one more time. Shane walked to the set to meet the rest.
'That was unbelievable, especially you, Gwen. You were busting some great moves there. Tom, what did you think, and more importantly, who is the winner?'
'Well, it was a great performance, and a great group effort, but, yes, it's my very difficult choice to select a winner tonight. Well, first, I'll give an honourable mention to Grandpa Max, for knowing the killer from simple makeup powder. I'll give a dishonourable mention to Ben, for not understanding the Uranus joke. But the winner of tonight's show, for showing us how fun fireworks can be, and for becoming the new Queen of Pyrotechnics… Gwen Tennyson!'
Gwen jumped in the air, as Shane gave her the trophy. He then grabbed some flowers and gave it to her.
'Thank you. You're really kind. You really are!'
'Thanks for being here on this very special episode of Thank God You're Here. We'll see you again next time!'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know that I haven't included the During the Week segments. It's because that I felt it would be difficult to do in writing.
