A/N: I do not own or make money from Harry Potter.
Most people only have one first meeting. If two people have two first meetings, things can get a little complicated. If they have three...it can be taken for granted that their relationship will be very complicated somewhere along the line…
1978
"It's right here." James loped along, swinging his arms, Remus and Peter in his wake. They were coming up on a small cottage, where all knew Sirius would be waiting impatiently.
"I don't know what to do with children." Peter puffed as he tried to catch up to James' long-legged stride.
"Give 'em stuff." James responded cheerily. "Give her chocolate. Girls like that stuff. You've got some, eh, Moony?"
"Of course not." Remus replied. He was lying and they all knew it. "Fresh out, not a bite, sorry."
"What if she has to pee?" Peter at last blurted out his most pressing worry. "What do we do then?"
"Let her pee, we can't stop her." James gazed at him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world as he pushed open the white wicket gate and started for the door. "You do know how peeing works, right, Wormtail?"
"But we don't need all of us for this, do we?" Peter glanced at Remus for support.
Remus, knowing that he didn't want to babysit either, but also knowing they couldn't get out of it, only gave him a reassuring smile. "She'll probably sleep some, Wormtail, and Sirius will keep her entertained. He's her cousin, he knows what he's doing." Another lie, more blatant than the last. If anyone knew nothing about children and babies, it was Sirius. As a matter of fact…when he thought on it, he was pretty sure that none of them knew anything about babysitting, least of all him, the child-eating menace. He blew a strand of graying hair out of his face and waited as James knocked.
Sirius swung the door open before James had properly managed to touch it. "OHMIGODSHESADEMON!" He bellowed at them, before dropping his voice to the normal level. "Hi, James."
Peter nearly toppled off the stoop with fear, and Remus had to reach out to steady him.
"Hi, Sirius." James punched his shoulder as they entered the front hall. Peter followed him, trembling, and Remus came in last, slightly apprehensive about spending three hours babysitting a young girl he could probably eat in one bite. Not that he would, but still, he had to keep it in his mind.
"Where's the little devil at?" James clapped his hands together, looking around the comfortable home.
"She's…" Sirius turned to gaze down the front hall.
It was dark at the end of the hall. All three boys joined Sirius in peering in the direction he indicated. After a long moment, a short figure came out of the area Remus presumed to be the kitchen. She had a half-eaten piece of toast in one hand. She stopped, stared at them, then came forward to stare some more.
They stared back, unabashedly, at the girl. Her hair was ashy gray, her skin was clammy white, and she was glowering at them from blood-red eyeballs. Remus (having some experience in the field of fangs) might have sworn that her teeth were filed to points as she angrily ripped off another bite of bread.
Peter let out a whimper.
Sirius's smile was uneasy and plastic. "Er, Marauders, this is my cousin, Nymphadora Tonks. Cousin, these are the Marauders: James, Peter, and Remus."
None of the three newcomers moved as each tried to formulate a response to this introduction. Remus, glancing at James, found that he was bereft of words, and Peter was hiding behind him. Deliberately stepping on the shorter boy's toe, he pushed past them and knelt down in front of the girl.
"Hi, I'm Remus." He held out his hand tentatively, not sure if Sirius had blabbed his condition to the child. "Nice to meet you, Nymphiadorea."
She raised her eyes from her toast to look at him, and he abruptly wondered who was the greater menace in the room. They'd changed from red to orange. She opened her mouth, spraying breadcrumbs over him.
"DON'T call me NYMPHADORA!" She screamed, her hair's color shifting to red in the blink of an eye. Yes, those were definitely fangs. Remus leapt back as Peter let out an outright squeal and reached for the doorknob. James pushed him out of the way.
"Been lovely Sirius, Lucifer." He pretended to doff his glasses. "But Moony and I've just remembered something very important we've got to do. G'day chaps…" He swung open the door and pushed Peter toward Sirius, who was also panicking by now.
"No!" Sirius and Peter cried in unison. "Don't leave us here!"
"Moooooony!" Peter wailed, cringing away from the girl, who was watching their reactions with interest.
"Moony, let's go. Let's go get drunk at the Leaky." James grasped Remus' coat, and the wer-wolf was only too happy to be hauled out the door and back out into the air. No, he'd certainly not have been able to eat her. Ever. She'd give him heartburn and indigestion.
Outside, James scrambled for the gate and back out on the road, stopped to catch his breath. The task was made difficult by the fact that he was doubled over giggling. Remus panted beside him, not sure whether to laugh or run back.
"Did you see Wormtail's face!" James chortled. "Oh, God, I never knew Peter could scream that high! I didn't know anyone could scream that high!"
Remus gave him a baleful glance and pulled out his emergency stash of chocolate, reminding himself to save some. It was said to be a strong defense against dark magic, and if so, Merlin knew Peter would need a lot by the end of the day. A lot.
