Somewhere My Love
One day, Zarbon, Morgan his sorceress girlfriend, ZJ their son, Isabel their daughter were on a picnic in the park in front of the Washington Monument. "Thanks for coming and visiting me on my break guys." Zarbon said.
After all, Zarbon somehow became a general of the US army of the Untied States of America, due to his alien intelligence and strategic nature. "No problem we missed you at home, I mean being in a house by myself is boring enough and when the kids are out of college for the summer its makes matters much worst." Morgan said.
"Hey I graduated from college a year ago mom, I'm a scientist now." ZJ said.
"Yah I never even went to college, I serve in the military just like Daddy did!" Issy said.
"I'm a general, not exactly a…" Morgan grabbed Zarbon and started making out with him.
"Yes Zarbon give me rough sex!" Morgan yelled.
"You got it Miss Macskavsky!" Zarbon said kissing her wildly.
All the sudden ZJ and Issy saw that Vegeta, Bulma and the rest of their family including Bulma's clone Bulma 2 or B2 as she called her, decided to join them. Issy's eyes grew wide, "Guys will you please stop making out, you're embarrassing me!" Issy asked.
"Yah you guys Vegeta and his family just arrived and I'm trying to read my Kabala book!" ZJ said with is nose stuck in that silly book.
Vegeta looked at Zarbon and Morgan making out, "Ew I didn't come on this stupid picnic just to see this happen!" Vegeta said.
"Dear why don't you just be a little more open-minded won't you?" Bulma asked.
"What can I say, its true love." Vegeta said frowning.
"Hello Issy!" Trunks said.
"Hello Trunks." Issy said looking at him with her beautiful gold eyes that she inherited from her father.
"I bought you a piece of cake, mom and I went to the Cheesecake Factory and she told me that your mom told her that you loved dark chocolate cheesecake." Trunks said.
"Yes I do, please let me have!" She then got up, walked up to Trunks, took the fork and started eating the cheesecake.
Morgan stopped making out with Zarbon, "Issy honey, why didn't you just let Trunks give that cheesecake to you instead of taking it from him?" asked Morgan.
"Mom are you kidding dark chocolate is the best kind of cheesecake there is!" Issy said.
"I told you shouldn't have been so generous." Vegeta said.
"Look it's not my fault that I like Zarbon's family so much, they seem like nice people." Bulma said.
"But honey she's one of him, she's a hybrid." Vegeta said.
"So what so are our children, but you don't bitch about that." Bulma said setting the picnic basket down.
"Good point." Vegeta said sitting down, "Morgan pardon me if it's none of my business, but what do you exactly see in Zarbon?" Vegeta asked.
"He's a kind, polite person and he doesn't accept horrible behavior." Morgan said.
"That's right and I…" Before Zarbon could finish Morgan interrupted.
"Ok she gets the point Zarbon." Morgan said.
"Right, my mistake then," Vegeta said.
"So Isabel who is this Hanna Montana, I like to listen to her!" Bra said putting her headphones into her ears.
"I don't think you want to know." Isabel said.
"Isabel you seem like a nice young lady, do you have any current boyfriends?" asked Bulma.
"For some weird reason everyone has been asking me that besides you Bulma." Isabel said.
"Yah only because…" All the sudden Bulma saw that Vegeta did not have a pleasant look on his face, "Never mind we'll talk later." Bulma said.
"This better not be what I think it is!" Vegeta said squeezing his apple juice out of his straw from the juice box.
"Oh Vegeta leave her alone she didn't do anything to you." Bulma said.
"You won't have to worry about me; I'm getting transferred to Afghanistan in a week." Issy said.
"What why didn't you say something?" asked Zarbon.
"Because I didn't want to worry you guys." Issy said.
Trunks had a disappointed look on his face, "But that's unfair, that's just really unfair, you're the only friend that has ever made since to me since Gohan!" Trunks said.
"What about your daughters and your ex husband, whose going to look after them when you're in Afghanistan?" asked ZJ.
"Wait you have children?" asked Trunks.
"I was going to tell you but I don't want to um tell you at the wrong time, which would be now." Issy said.
"Never mind, maybe I'm just being unreasonable is all." Trunks said trying to smile.
Later on Trunks cried in front of Bulma, "I don't want Issy to go into the military, why didn't she even introduce me to her children?" asked Trunks.
"Because her ex husband has legal custody of her children while she's serving in the military." Bulma said.
"But that's so unfair; I thought we were slowly but surely falling in love with one another." Trunks said.
"Don't let your father know about this, he'll have a cow." Bulma said.
"Fuck what dad says, I'm going to follow my heart even if it takes me in the wrong direction!" Trunks said.
"I knew it!" Vegeta barged into the room, "You little trader don't love her, she's a freak of nature and she is the daughter of that vain general that I've come to hate over the years!" Vegeta said.
"If you hate Zarbon, that's your problem, but don't take it out on Issy, you don't even know her like I do! She's smart and she's not afraid of anything!" Trunks said.
"So are you, but do you want to be outsmarted by a girl? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" asked Vegeta.
"She's not bossy at all dad, not like mom." Trunks said.
"Hey whose idea was it to bring me into this argument?" asked Bulma.
"Dad I'm going to Afghanistan too, goodbye I'm tired of being a super Sayain, and I want to be normal like Issy! I want a life of my own; it's not my problem that you didn't kill Freezer! It is also not my problem that you have a grudge against Zarbon! For what, for him mating with a human, mom's a human too in case you have forgotten!" Trunks said.
"No, you're going to stay here!" Vegeta said.
Trunks got mad and did something that he thought he would never do, he punched Vegeta in the nose and made it bleed, "Goodbye father!" Trunks said running out of the room.
"Vegeta are you all right?" Bulma asked.
"Uh that little fucker, he punched me!" Vegeta said.
A week later, after Trunks spent the night in a hotel away from Zarbon's family and Vegeta, he went to the airport with Zarbon's family, "Trunks are you sure you want to go to Afghanistan?" asked Issy.
"Yes I do, I've come to far from my home planet just to lose you so soon." Trunks said.
"I don't know it's dangerous Trunks." Issy said.
"So what, I can take on a bunch of humans!" Trunks said.
"You don't understand, this isn't like fighting invaders on your home planet or extraterrestrials, these are a bunch of crafty humans that like to blow themselves up along with other people, just so they can fuck a bunch of virgins in paradise!" Issy said.
"Come on that won't stop me from following you!" Trunks said.
"Trunks my dad was driven to madness when those bastards did suicide attacks on his troops, to the point where even your father was frightened of him!" Issy said.
It is true, Zarbon and Vegeta went to Afghanistan so that they could sniff out landmines, and the Taliban ambushed them, but they killed a lot of them anyways. Then another part of the Taliban attacked the village that B2 was located in and the soldiers died, but Bulma 2 managed to survive somehow. Zarbon sent Bulma 2 home to inform Zarbon's family and Vegeta's family that they were ambushed, but survived.
Zarbon was thinking about killing himself, but instead decided to conjure a bunch of demons up to kill the Taliban as an act of vengeance, it worked, but they ended up killing innocent people which was not what he intended to happen, and they got a hold of the Taliban's weapons and planned to blow some villages up.
Zarbon and Vegeta had to stop them, Vegeta was not happy about this as one could imagine, to make matters worse, Zarbon forgot to take his medicine for his mood swings, he had them at the worst time possible. He then drew the demons into a mirror and smashed it so that it killed them.
Zarbon did not come out of his room for days, which was a typical habit of his whenever he grieved for the lives that he was supposed to protect.
"I don't care; I'm still going with you!" Trunks said.
"All right if you insist, but the moment that you go running home to your mother, the moment I send you home!" Issy said.
"Deal!" Trunks said.
"Goodbye baby sister!" ZJ said hugging Issy, "Trunks take care of my little sister for me!" ZJ said.
"Uh are you kidding, I'm a grown woman I can take care of myself!" Issy said.
"For some weird reason I'm beginning to think that you and my parents have more in common." Trunks said shaking his head.
"Bye Issy you come back untouched you hear me!" Zarbon said kissing her a lot on the cheek.
"Thanks daddy." She said.
"Bye Issy, I'll miss you!" Morgan said hugging her.
They watched as Issy and Trunks got onto the plane, "I'm going to miss them." Morgan said.
"Does Vegeta even know if Trunks is going to Afghanistan?" asked Zarbon.
"He hasn't spoken to him for days, since well you know." Morgan said.
"What?" asked Zarbon.
"Trunks punched Vegeta in the face and ran away to a hotel, I know because his mother told me." Morgan said.
"Trunks punched Vegeta, cool!" Zarbon said.
"Zarbon that's enough, we'll have none of that around Vegeta and his family ok?" Morgan said.
Later on Vegeta was on the porch smoking a cigarette all by himself while the rest of the family was in the house, Bulma was in total shock, "He went to Afghanistan with Issy? How romantic!" Bulma said.
"What in the world are you talking about Trunks just wanted to see if Issy was ok," Zarbon said.
"Oh silly, naïve Zarbon you apparently don't know the reason why Vegeta has been bickering about Issy do you?" asked Bulma.
"He's been bickering about my entire family, what makes Issy so special in this case?" asked Zarbon.
"Because he's in love with Issy, Bra was the first to know, and I picked it up later on and so did Vegeta." Bulma said.
"Issy likes Trunks too, she told me herself." Morgan said.
"As long as Trunks isn't trying to get into her pants then I'm all right with him." Zarbon said.
"No Trunks is nothing like that, he's a nice boy who was raised to respect strong women like me." Bulma said.
"I don't think Vegeta is very happy about this; let me go talk to him." Morgan was about to go outside onto the porch.
"You can try to convince him all you want, but he's not going to listen. Sometimes I can't even get through to him." Bulma said. Then Bulma thought about something, "Come here for a moment Morgan." She said, she whispered into her ear and Morgan was smiling and then shook her head yes. "So can you try and see if it works?" asked Bulma.
"I sure will!" Morgan said happily and going onto the porch.
Zarbon looked at Bulma, "What did you tell her exactly?" he asked.
"I told her that to convince Vegeta that she needed to butter him up and say that she looks up to him." Bulma said.
"That's not going to work Bulma." Zarbon said.
Morgan went onto the porch, "Hello Vegeta mind if I sit down?" asked Morgan sitting next to him.
"What do you want?" asked Vegeta.
"Look don't tell Bulma or the rest of the family, but I kind of have a little crush on you." Morgan said giggling.
"Ew stay away from me, I'm already taken!" Vegeta said.
"No it's nothing serious, you're more like someone I admire as a leader, as someone who wants to get what they want in life! I'm not trying to bed you!" Morgan said.
"Then if you don't want to have sex with me, what is it that you do want?" Vegeta said.
"As someone that I crush on and sort of look up to, I suggest that you act more like a man then a scared little boy!"Morgan said.
"What are you saying?" asked Vegeta.
"What I'm saying is that I admire strong, stubborn men like you, my ex Stalin, and my current Zarbon!" Morgan said. Now how was it possible that Stalin was her ex, easy they soul imprinted on one another when she went back in time to WW2 with Zarbon, and to makes matters worst he seduced her as a ghost.
When the spring ended, he dumped her and hoped that she could live a good productive life it was for the best. He tried to get back with her, but she refused because she wanted to be with Zarbon. "What's so strong about Stalin anyways? Zarbon is strong, but I'm the one that killed him don't forget!" Vegeta said.
"Well I'm the one that brought him back from the dead!" Morgan said.
"You want a strong man hum; I'll show you a strong man!" Vegeta said picking her up and throwing her into the swing set.
"Hey Stalin is the only one who's allowed to do that to me!" Morgan said.
"Do me a favor just go back to your precious Stalin if you want to get pushed around, and go back to Zarbon who is just as useless, don't fuck with me women!" Vegeta threw his cigarette down onto the ground, stepped on it and then went back inside furiously.
"He sure showed me." Morgan said getting up and going back inside.
"Zarbon tell your silly girl to leave me alone! I admire you so much Vegeta! I want you to act like a strong man Vegeta!" Vegeta said mocking her as he went into the room that he and Bulma were staying in and slammed the door shut.
Morgan then came back into the house, "It didn't work Bulma." Morgan said.
"Damn I guess I'm the only one that can convince him to act like a man!" Bulma said.
Meanwhile a few days later Issy was in a tent with Trunks looking at a map, "So could you use a scientist to help you design a device more powerful than that called a landmine?" asked Trunks.
"Trunks we're trying to get rid of the landmines so that nobody steps on them." Issy said.
"Well what about the Taliban, we need to place landmines in their area…" Before Trunks could finish Issy interrupted him.
"Let me handle this Trunks, I'm just trying to figure out what instructions our general gave to us." Issy said.
"You mean your dad?" Trunks asked.
"No a different one," Issy said.
"I don't mean to get personal, but you almost remind me of my own mother." Trunks said.
"Really? You remind me of my own father, except you're not vain." Issy said laughing.
"That's quite a complement." Trunks said.
"Ok enough of this talk, I say we turn on some music, would you like to listen to Thalia?" asked Isabel.
"Yes that's fine." Trunks said.
Issy turned the CD on, it was a Spanish song called "No No No" for those of you who do not who Thalia is, she's a Mexican singer who married an old timer named Tommy Mottola, ex husband of Mariah Carey.
Trunks was surprised at the language that was coming out of the CD, he had never heard a more beautiful language, although he heard his father yell at his mom in French one time. "Sorry to ask, but what language is that?" asked Trunks.
"Its Spanish, my mom speaks Spanish and Russian, I borrowed one of her CDs, she and her ex boyfriend used to make love to this song." Issy said.
Trunks rolled his eyes, "Look if you want to listen to something else, I'll just put on another CD…" Before Issy could finish what she was saying Trunks grabbed her and kissed on her on the lips, they were making out before you knew it, something that would make Trunks' dad have a shit fit.
Later on, on the other side of the world, Morgan and Zarbon were making love and being loud about it, Vegeta was annoyed with the stupid Spanish music in the background, and it was Marc Anthony. "Bulma could you go and tell Morgan and Zarbon to shut it?" asked Vegeta.
"No I will do no such thing!" Bulma said looking at a magazine.
"Ew Morgan said the dumbest thing to me; she said she had a crush on me." Vegeta said.
"She does, don't let it bother you." Bulma said.
"You knew about this the whole time? Why didn't you tell her to back off, because I'm your man?" Vegeta said.
"Hey I think a girl has a right to like whoever she wants, just as long as she's looking and not touching if you know what I mean." Bulma said.
"Oh trust me if she tries to touch me I'll be out of her before the world ends!" Vegeta said.
Bulma put her magazine down and looked at Vegeta, "Now Vegeta if I didn't know any better I would have to say that you're afraid of this girl." Bulma said.
"Don't be silly, she's not the least bit intimidating." Vegeta said.
"She told me that she might be a little in love with you." Bulma said smiling and hiding her smile behind her magazine.
"Ew I'm going to check into a hotel if you ever say that again!" Vegeta said.
"Vegeta was I kidding, lighten up!" Bulma said.
"Doesn't it even gross you out the least bit that Morgan and Zarbon are twenty-eight years apart, Zarbon being older than her?" asked Vegeta.
"No not really, she can love whoever she wants." Bulma said.
"Ok then tell me something else, do you think it's gross that she was the mistresses of that mass murderer Stalin?" asked Vegeta.
"That part I can't understand, but like I said she can like whoever she wants. Vegeta don't be such a bully, please or else I'll go to the hotel instead." Bulma said.
Vegeta decided to crash the sex fest and he broke down the door and saw Morgan naked with her robe opened thinking that Vegeta was elsewhere, Vegeta took one look at her, screamed and ran out of the room, "Help she has a C-section scar!" he yelled.
Morgan put her robe on, walked out of the room; Bulma looked at her, "Looking hot girlfriend!" Bulma said.
"Thanks girlfriend!" Morgan said.
Vegeta then felt terrible and decided to go back and apologize, but only because he did not want Bulma to go to a hotel to spend the night. He did not seem to notice that Morgan was sitting at the table with Bulma, and he went to the bedroom where Zarbon was, "Morgan I'm sorry that I was rude just a second ago…" All the sudden Vegeta saw Zarbon naked too, Vegeta then went into a coma.
Zarbon too put a robe on, "What did I do?" asked Zarbon, it is too bad that Vegeta was such a drama queen.
Meanwhile in Afghanistan Trunks and Issy were getting dressed, "We need to get away from everyone so that we can be together forever." Issy said.
"I agree, as long as my dad is alive he won't agree to my hand in marriage to you." Trunks said.
"Maybe we can run away to Mexico or Venezuela, maybe Cuba." Issy said.
"Mexico from what your father told me is dangerous, you might get kidnapped." Trunks said.
"So what I'm a big girl I can handle…" Trunks kissed Issy on the lips.
"If its Mexico that you want to run away to then so be it. But there are safer countries to run away to," Trunks said.
Then Issy thought of an idea that she did not think of before, "I have an idea, forget us running away, if we want to get married and stay together, then we need to fake being pregnant!" Issy said.
"What? Why do we have to fake having a baby just to stay together and get married, I love you but your logic is so off." Trunks said.
"No it makes perfect sense, Stalin's ghost told me that usually in his day when women would become pregnant out of wedlock then they had to marry the guy who impregnated them, or have him pay money to the family!" Issy said.
"Isn't Stalin that dead Mexican that used to bang your mom?" asked Trunks.
"He's Georgian Trunks," Issy said.
"It doesn't matter, I get headache thinking about all the ethnic groups on this planet, and I haven't even memorized all of them." Trunks said.
"Besides he's really smart and really evil at the same time!" Issy said.
"That's the last thing I want to do, take advice from a bad guy, but if he thinks it's a good idea, then horary for him." Trunks said.
"Let's get the hell out of here, I didn't know what I was thinking about when I said that I wanted to come back here, I now know what I want in life, to be married with children!" Issy said stepping out of the tent.
"I'm so excited; we're going to get married!" Trunks said laughing with joy, but Issy saw that he was not paying attention to where he was stepping, into a land mine field.
"Trunks look out!" Issy yelled. It was too late; a bunch of land mines went off.
Later on in the hospital Trunks was lying down in bed, "What happened?" he asked.
"You stepped into a land mine field, you were very lucky, you could have gotten a limb blown off, but you are lucky that you still have your limbs, you must have a guardian angel." Issy said.
"I'm an atheist, I don't believe in angels." Trunks said.
Next day, Vegeta was still in a coma, Bulma was becoming worried, "What are we going to do?" asked Bulma.
"Do you have any devices that can get him out of a coma?" asked Zarbon.
"Well there is one device that I have that nobody else would consider, good thinking Zarbon!" Bulma unbuttoned her shirt.
Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "What are you doing?" he asked.
"If I didn't know any better she's going to show Vegeta her tits!" Morgan said.
"I know that honey!" Zarbon said.
"Come on Vegeta come get some from Mama!" Bulma said sticking her bare breasts in his face.
He woke up, "Honey it's you!" He said then making out with her.
"Well that was awkward!" Zarbon said crossing his arms.
"What's that matter, he's awake and that's all that matters." Morgan said.
Issy came into the house with Trunks giggling, "Hey mom guess what, I'm having a baby!"
she said.
Morgan's eyes grew wide, "Not again!" She said.
"Who's the father this time?" asked Zarbon.
"It's me!" Trunks said.
Just then Vegeta went into another coma, Bulma did not seem to notice, she was too excited, "Finally my son has found someone that he can settle down with, it's about time! Oh Vegeta we're going to be grandparents, this is so exciting!" Bulma said clapping her hands with joy.
Morgan was not happy, Zarbon was so pissed off that he went into the bedroom and yelled, "Son of a bitch!"
"Perhaps it was a bad time to bring this up?" asked Trunks.
End of Story
