When Pain Doesn't Hurt
I guess I could create my own characters, but they would probably be boring compared to Dick's creation. So, as we all know, I don't own these characters.
Chapter 1
The rain was falling softly and the air was cool on her face. She loved this time of year, even when it rained. Especially when it rained. Nature is such an amazing concept. It could be so beautiful at times, but then it could be so damaging; deadly at other times. She couldn't remember ever feeling so relaxed. Her body felt so light as if for once she wasn't carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Oh yeah, she could sleep all day. Maybe she would. Cragen would understand her need for a day off. She refused to open her eyes; no way was she going to interrupt this most peaceful moment.
"Olivia!" Elliot fell to the ground by her side. He grabbed her hand as his other hand went immediately to her neck.
"10-13. 10-13. Officer down. My partner is down!" Elliot shouted into his radio. He ripped her shirt open to find the exact location of the wound and pressed his hands on it in an attempt to the slow the bleeding. He looked around frantically as his efforts seemed futile.
"Liv, please. Please, hang on." Elliot couldn't keep his voice steady as he screamed into his radio again for help. He moved his now bloody hands to his partner's face. He cupped her face and pleaded with her again to live. Olivia didn't move and Elliot found himself praying silently over his fallen partner, his best friend, his soul mate.
Olivia smiled to herself as she thought about visiting Coney Island for the first time with her mother. She had no idea how old she was, just that she was a little girl. Her mom had bought her a new dress and told her they would be spending the day together. Olivia remembered being so excited. Her mother never had time for her, but yet here she was taking her out for a fun day. She had so much fun. She had won a teddy bear in one of those games that nobody wins at. That's what her mother would tell her each time she had asked to play. Finally, Olivia was given the chance. She won on the first chance, good thing as she knew her mother would not pay for another try. The man handed the bright blue bear over the counter and Olivia was so proud of herself. She knew she could do it and she did. She walked hand in hand with her mother that day, so happy, so young. It was a great day and one that she often revisited.
"Olivia! Stay with me. I can't do this without you. I can't…" Elliot's words were cut off by the sudden sob that he felt come up from his chest. The paramedics quickly moved in and Elliot felt two strong hands on his shoulders gently pulling him away from his partner. He knew that he needed to get out of the way so the medics could save her, but he was worried she would give up if she knew he had left her.
"Come on, man." Fin's voice sounded like he was in a tunnel. Elliot's heart was beating so loudly, he barely heard anyone.
"She saved me." Elliot's voice was barely audible, but Fin heard him.
Elliot fell to his knees as he watched the paramedics work frantically to get Olivia ready to transport. There was no way she could survive being shot; not with that much blood flowing from her chest. He cursed himself for even thinking such a thing. This was Olivia Benson, his partner. She'll survive and be complaining about being in the hospital before he even made it there. Cragen directed his detective to the back of another ambulance while Olivia was quickly loaded into the first one. Only then did Elliot remember being shot himself. Everything had happened so fast, he had forgotten his own pain as he watched Liv go down hard on the cold, wet pavement.
Cragen's words were wasted on Elliot. His mind only focusing on his partner as the paramedics worked on his upper arm. He had suffered a grazing wound in the shootout that neither he nor his partner had seen coming. They were ambushed. Elliot had gotten off two shots before taking the one to the arm. He fell to the ground only to see three more men walking toward him with drawn guns. Two fell to the ground in front of him as the other turned and fired. He tried to raise his gun, but couldn't. He couldn't lift his arm to shoot the last suspect who had whirled around and fired at Olivia. She was an excellent shot, therefore it seemed effortless to take two out so quickly. It was up to him to take care of the third and he couldn't. She saved his life, but he failed her. Only then was he able to fire. The third gunman fell at Olivia's feet, but it was too late. She was already down and she wasn't moving.
Elliot felt his world spinning around him. His lungs were closing and he felt as though he couldn't get enough air into his lungs to breathe. He felt hands on him as he connected with the stretcher. He felt like dying. He didn't know how he would live without her, especially since her dying would be his fault.
Olivia took their suspect down and was cuffing him when Elliot caught up. The look of surprise and pride was written all over his face. She knew that would be the moment. It didn't take long, but she had managed to prove to him she was capable. Their guy easily outweighed her by at least a hundred pounds, but she refused to back down. He smiled at her and told her she did good. His eyes melted her inside. How unfair were the gods to partner her with such an incredibly good looking man. She would have to work side by side with this beautiful creature for as long as those same gods would permit it. He was married when they began their partnership and she had totally respected that fact. He is a good man, husband and father. He is a damn good detective and Olivia was so lucky to have been given to him as his new partner. She knew he wasn't excited about it at first, but she could tell she had grown on him. They had been together for the better part of the last decade. She supported him through his divorce and he was there for her after her undercover stint at Sealview. He was there for her when she found her brother and when her heart was broken time and time again. She seemed to be the only one who could calm him when he reached that particularly agitated state with a perp, or life for that matter. She would give anything to be with him, but she would do nothing to ruin what they had. She loved him, and would die for him, no doubt about it.
Olivia could feel the heat from the morning sun on her face. She didn't want to wake, her body so comfortable, her thoughts so pleasant. The light in her face was so bright she couldn't help but look to see what was going on. Slowly she opened her eyes. Her heart started racing. At first she couldn't see anything for the light was so bright and was actually blinding. Then she could see everything. Everything, including the blood that continued to pour out of her chest as the ambulance pulled up to the hospital. She could hear herself screaming for Elliot, but nobody else could. She focused in to the body on the stretcher being wheeled into the emergency room. She looked down at her chest to see herself clad in all white. She never wore white, always afraid of getting dirty. Her attention was brought back to the emergency room. She had worn those clothes yesterday, but didn't have a chance to change before she was with Elliot staking out a extremely violent rapist and murderer. It only took a few seconds to realize what was going on. She had been shot and killed. She always thought she would experience unbearable pain if she died in this way. And she thought right. Her attention was directed to the emergency room doors as her partner was wheeled in. He was looking around with an oxygen mask on his face. And then she saw the blood on his shirt. He looked to be in pain. She searched for his eyes. She cold always read him through those gorgeous blue eyes. Her gaze connected with his and she felt the pain that was radiating from them. Only then, did she feel any amount of pain from her wounds.
"It's okay, El. You'll be okay." Olivia whispered as she smoothed her hand over her chest. Her top was made out of a satin type material. It actually fit very comfortably and felt nice against her skin. His eyes never left hers as he was wheeled into an examining room. He never blinked. She refused to let go of his gaze as well until she felt that unbearable pain that was until then, nonexistent. The pain in her chest was exactly what she thought she would feel if ever shot. She looked down and saw the red coming through her pretty white top. She heard a loud piercing alarm going off as she was immediately rushed from the emergency room towards the operating room. She lost track of Elliot. She could no longer see him and felt herself start to panic. Her pretty white satin shirt was completely covered in blood by now and she could no longer find Elliot's eyes to hold onto. She tried to call for help. "Officer down, my partner's been shot. Officer down. Officer down. Officer down." She fought with the nurses who were trying to get her prepped for surgery. "I have to get help to my partner first. I have to save him." Olivia's thoughts were running rampant. "Hang on, El. Don't leave me."
Olivia settled into the table which she was laid out on. It was damn cold in this room. She was getting sleepy. She closed her eyes and tried to warm her body through her thoughts.
"She's coding.!" Somebody hollered as those damn irritating alarms pierced her ears again.
A/N : I have no idea where this idea came from. I probably should be sleeping instead of staying up writing. Early rising toddlers don't seem to care if I'm tired because I spent the night with my favorite detectives. I'd like to know what you think so far, let me know.
