"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Alex whispers, lips low and breath warm against Maggie's ear.
Maggie shrugs and a shudder rips through her frame, shaking in the circle Alex's arms create around her back, fingers linking in the dip between the smaller woman's shoulder blades. Her face crumbles as she struggles to get the words out. "Only found out this morning, right after you left." She can't keep her gaze on Alex's warm eyes any longer, drops it to the blood caked over a gash on Alex's bicep. Maggie waves a wayward hand through the air. "And you were at work and… and I… I didn't know how to say it and then I got the call that you'd been hurt and you showed up here all bloodied and exhausted. I didn't want to put this on you on top of the day you've had… I was just gonna tell you in the morning or when I… when I figured it out."
"Oh, Maggie." Alex's voice washes over her like the tide, and tension seeps from Maggie's body. She lets her head fall forward into Alex's collarbone and the unraveling begins—a wisp of breath drawing outward, a tectonic plate in her chest, liquid heat loosening the rigidity that'd been holding her together.
"If you'd called, I would've come running. Anytime, for anything."
The tightness in Maggie's throat strangles her words. "I know, I know that's why I—I didn't…" A sob swells inside her and the weight of it, hanging in limbo, batters her composure. "I couldn't say it." Maggie shakes her head, waves falling over her face. "Out loud. I wasn't ready. Not yet."
Alex takes in a deep breath and pulls Maggie closer.
"Careful," Maggie says and withdraws a hand from Alex's embrace, raising her palm in an attempt to put distance between them. "Don't hurt yourself."
With a shake of her head, Alex has Maggie enveloped in another hug, tighter this time with one hand holding her close and the other running up and down her spine. "Don't worry about me, Mags. I'm fine, the medics said it wasn't anything serious… and even if it was, this is more important."
A breath rattles out of Maggie's lungs and she deflates against Alex's chest. "I didn't even know she was sick."
Alex closes her eyes and tears burn in the corners as she tucks her chin down and sways slowly with Maggie in her arms. They're in a hallway of the DEO, two left turns away from the med bay and void of footsteps or chatter.
"My aunt just… just called and said she'd—she'd… died. She's dead. My mom's… she's…" Maggie shakes her head and the only sound that escapes is a whimper.
Hot, salty tears are captured between Maggie's warm cheek and Alex's skin.
"I don't know what to do. I don't—I don't know. I'm so mad. I'm so—" Her diaphragm leaps in her chest. Something cracks open inside her, spilling out and filling the air with the vibrations of her sobs, a heightened pitch, that reverberate off the metal paneling of the walls. Her hand runs up Alex's back and grips her shirt. Her knees knock, going weak, and Alex's arms find themselves bearing a new slump of weight.
"Let's go home." Alex kisses Maggie's forehead, voice and touch featherlight, and shifts her stance to free an arm and run it through Maggie's hair, soothing the pounded in her skull. "We'll figure it out."
Maggie curls into Alex's touch, her cheek rubbing against the agent's collarbone.
"Is that okay?"
Maggie swallows hard and her breathing slows in time with the hand drawing circles across her back. Her murmur barely meets Alex's ears.
"Yes."
Alex keeps an arm around Maggie as they leave the DEO, through a network of unoccupied hallways that somehow drop them off in the parking garage without encountering a single person. Maggie will ask Alex about the route another day, but for now, she sinks into the warmth that keeps her upright.
Silence drapes across their ride home, save the hum of nighttime radio, and their hands tangle over the center console with Alex's thumb brushing over Maggie's pointer finger like a metronome.
Their apartment is awash in low yellow light with a flick of Alex's hand against the switch when they enter. She pushes it closed with her foot and a wince escapes as she extends her leg, sore from the fight, and a pop sounds from her hip.
Maggie's head whips around. Her watering eyes lock onto Alex's. "You're still hurt, Al—" Her breath hitches and she cuts herself off.
"Hey hey shh, it's okay. It's not that bad, I promise," the agent reassures and takes Maggie's hand into her own, pressing a kiss to it. "Come on, let's get changed into something comfier and figure out what we want to do."
Maggie acquiesces and lets Alex guide her through the movements.
They end up settled on the couch minutes later in flannel pajama pants and fitted against each other.
"Do you want to eat?"
Maggie shrugs and her head lolls against Alex's shoulder. "Eventually I guess, just not right now. I'm too tired to get up or do anything."
"I can get it, if you're hungry?" Alex offers, body straightening.
Her girlfriend shakes her head and twists her fingers around Alex's hand, tugging her back down. "Just stay for now."
Alex curls back into the couch with a kiss to Maggie's head, turning her gaze back on the TV. "Okay," Alex promises, her whisper gliding over the low volume of an advertisement.
Before the string of commercials is even over, a knock sounds on the door. Alex's muscles go taut against Maggie as the taller woman moves to stand, brows furrowed. A groan escapes Maggie at the movement beneath her, eyes fluttering open as she raises herself on an elbow and Alex slips out from beneath her.
The door cracks open, before Alex can get to it, and reveals Kara and Lena in the frame, hands weighed down by bags of takeout and groceries, faces wearing twin grins.
"Kara, what are you-?"
"Whoa hold on. What's this?" Kara cuts her off and grazes her fingers across the deep purple bruise blooming across Alex's arm.
Alex shrugs her off but Kara reaches again, the inhuman number of bags hanging from the crook of her elbow crinkles and swings. "I thought you said it wasn't bad."
"It isn't." Alex retracts her forearm from Kara's fingers, keeping it close to her chest.
"Well your bruise disagrees with that," Kara huffs with an eye roll. "You should have called me, you need to be more careful."
Alex pulls away and opens her mouth to speak but Kara beats her to it in hopes of subduing the bubble of tension she feels rising in the space between them. "Anyway, you guys ready for girls' night?!" She breaks into a grin and Lena presses closer into her shoulder, no longer feigning interest in the hallway carpet now that the sisters' argument has subsided.
Still dressed in their skirts and blouses from CatCo, the two women in the doorway raise the bags a little higher.
"Where's Maggie?" Kara presses up on her toes and cranes her neck to look past Alex.
"Oh, umm, she's..." Alex bites her lip. "I think we're going to have to reschedule. I—"
"It's okay." Maggie's soft, hoarse voice tears through the air and each syllable lodges itself deep in Alex's chest. The smaller woman rises from the couch, wrapped in a blanket the color of river rock. The fabric swallows her shoulders and puddles against the hardwood floor at her feet and her knuckles are white where they come together to grip the hem of the blanket. "I could use a distraction."
The blue light of the TV glistens in the tear tracks seared onto her cheeks, the pool of them that gathers in the corners of her eyes.
The air of the room shifts as though a hurricane gust has blown through. Kara and Lena's faces fall in sync.
Kara drops the bags in her hands, climbing over them and crossing the room to Maggie. "What happened?" She asks, pulling Maggie into a quick hug and leaving a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes scan Maggie's features, desperate for clues.
Maggie swallows and the lump in her throat makes her flinch. "My mom—she's… umm… she—Alex?" Her throat constricts on her girlfriend's name and the sound barely makes its way out. Her red rimmed, watery eyes seek out Alex, frantic for help and blurring.
" 's okay," Alex whispers against Maggie's hair and opens up her arm for Maggie to sink into her side. She wraps the arm tightly around Maggie, a protective layer of warmth and solidity enveloping her.
"Maggie's mom passed away."
Kara freezes and Lena pauses over the bags in the foyer.
"I know it's not sufficient, but I'm so sorry, Maggie." Kara's eyes are foggy and her body carries a weight of grief that seeps from her bones whenever it's reignited. "We love you. So much."
"We're here for you, Maggie," Lena promises. "If there's anything we can do at all, please don't hesitate to ask. Funeral expenses, financial security, legal matters… L-Corp can help with any of it, as well."
Maggie shakes her head. "She didn't even tell me. She knew she was going and she didn't even reach out." She swipes at her cheeks with her palm, shaky and hot. "I don't know where that puts me."
"Let's worry about that later…"
"When we have more details," Alex adds and squeezes Maggie tighter. "We'll figure everything out."
"For now, how about some takeout and movies?"
"Okay." Maggie nods and sniffles. "Yeah."
Alex urges Maggie back onto the couch and she sinks into the middle of it, where the two cushions meet.
"Stay with her," Kara tells Alex when the agent moves around the back of the couch to help Kara and Lena unpack the plastic bags in the kitchen. "You've had a rough day, too. Just relax."
"I love you," Kara adds to Alex' relenting form, reaching out a hand to give her sister a quick squeeze.
"Love you, too."
Kara shoots her a warm smile and her postures relaxes when the corners of Alex's lips flicker upward before she turns again and settles beside Maggie.
In the kitchen, Lena and Kara move in sync, unpacking the takeout containers, pulling out plates and utensils, pouring drinks. It takes a few minutes until everything is set up—with Lena having to defend the potstickers more than once against Kara's super speeding hands.
"Kara," Lena admonishes for the third time, swiping Kara's fingers away and fighting the grin tugging at the corner of her lips.
" 'm hungry," Kara whines quietly, keeping her voice low enough to slip beneath the hum of the TV and within range of just the two of them. "And I'm worried," she whispers. "And sometimes potstickers make me feel better when I'm worried."
"Potstickers always make you feel better, Kara," Lena says, shaking her head and finally giving in to the smirk springing across her lips. She turns away from the blonde, knowing there's some food thievery occurring behind her back, and faces the couch. "You two want to come up here and get your food or should we bring it over there?"
They've spent enough evenings together with the same takeout orders that Lena could put together a plate for anyone in the room nearly as well as they'd do for themselves, but a few murmurs pass between Maggie and Alex across the couch, heads tucked together, before there's a rustling of cushions, a low groan, and then the pair is standing.
Maggie tucks against Alex's frame, her shoulder pressed beneath Alex's hold. "We can get some," Alex answers as they walk over.
Kara's eyes linger on the smattering of gashes across the bare skin of Alex's arm, the dark crimson textured with dirt.
"Alex," Kara says, stepping forward and putting a hand on her forearm before she can stop herself. "Can you come with me real quick?" She tilts her head to the bathroom. "Just for, like, a minute? I'll be quick, I promise. I just want to clean those wounds for you."
Alex's fingers don't stop their rubbing over Maggie's shoulder. "Do you even know how to do that?" Her voice lilts and her brow quirks upward.
"I've seen you do it enough times. And, you can just guide me through it if I miss any steps?" Kara presses up ever so slightly on her toes, the beginnings of a pout spreading across her face.
"I don't know." Alex shifts her weight and looks down at Maggie. "I'm okay. It's not that bad."
The detective in her hold shakes her head, untangling herself from Alex's grip. "No, Al." They share a loaded glance, a magnitude of thoughts pacing between the single look before Alex relents to Maggie's wide, worried gaze. "Go, I'll be okay."
Despite their silent conversation, Alex lingers for a moment. Maggie steps away even though the loss of the weight of Alex's arm around her shoulder sends a precarious feeling of detachment coursing through her veins— as if she's in danger of dissipating into the myriad of dark thoughts pressing up against her skull.
"You sure?" Alex asks.
Maggie nods. "You deserve to get taken care of, too."
Alex squeezes her hand, holds it tight and lets it go.
/
"How's she doing?" Kara asks, nudging the door closed with her foot and tilting her head to tell Alex to take a seat on the closed toilet lid.
Alex exhales and drags a hand through her hair, shaking her head. "How can anyone be doing in a situation like this?" She shrugs, and a wince steals the frown from her lips, collarbone throbbing at the movement. "I just wish there was something I could do to make it better, to take it away. I just…"
Kara waits, dampening a washcloth under the faucet and using it on Alex's wounds. She works gently to clear the blood, reveal Alex's pink, bruising skin beneath it.
/
"I know what we've been through is different," Lena begins. Over the takeout boxes and TV thrum, her voice hangs. "But I do know what it's like to lose a parent who…" she tilts her head, testing words behind her lips before she lets them out. "wasn't perfect. Who didn't always treat you right or… or a parent who made…" she passes and squeezes her eyes closed, fingers tightening around the serving spoon in her hand. "A parent who made you hurt, inside," she manages and looks up.
Maggie's gaze is tethered onto Lena's green eyes.
"And I know that it doesn't matter if a person deserves to be missed or not, or if there's even such a thing. I just know," Lena lets the words flood out. "That when you lose a person it hurts like hell. No matter what."
Maggie's features crumble and tears surge forward.
Lena opens her arms and Maggie leans into the embrace. "And that's okay."
Maggie nods fiercely into the taller woman's shoulder with a ragged gasp. "Thank you."
/
"I feel so helpless." Alex admits, as a bandage is wrapped around her arm, turning her brown eyes up from her shaky leg and toward Kara's clear blue. At the sight of her sister's face, Alex's lip wobbles and salty tears rise upward. "Sorry," she whispers on a hot hush of breath.
"No," Kara's voice is warm as she applies the last strip of gauze. "No, Alex. Don't be sorry."
Alex sniffles. "I feel so bad, Kara. I just love her so much."
"I know," Kara soothes and draws Alex up into a hug. She pulls her big sister close and rubs her back. "She loves you, too."
"I just want to help her." Alex's fingers splay across Kara's shoulder.
"And you are," Kara promises, leaning back to look Alex in the eyes. She swipes two fingers across the older girl's cheeks and offers a small smile. "You are, okay?" She gives an encouraging nod.
"Yeah?" Alex asks, tears glistening in the waterline of her eyes.
"Yeah," Kara promises, nudging Alex with her elbow. "Of course, you are. You're the best."
Alex rolls her eyes but a smile snakes across her face as she stands and pulls her sister back into a hug. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Kara says and kisses the top of Alex's head. "You ready to go back out there?"
Alex nods but doesn't move. "Thanks for this. Sorry, I know it's usually me doing the whole comfort thing." Her cheeks turn pink and she waves a hand through the air. "Everything's just heightened for me with Maggie, it's like… like I'm double worried because I never see her like this."
"Hey, it's okay," Kara says, an arm on Alex's shoulder drawing her gaze back up. "It's different, but it's not bad. I like being here for you. Maggie's right, Alex, you deserve to be taken care of, too."
Alex's lip quivers. She searches for a change of subject to steady her chin, looks down at the bandage on her arm—slightly crooked and a bit rumpled at the corners, but primarily intact. She tosses her good hand at Kara's side. "Well I guess you're not so bad at playing doctor, either."
Kara smiles, dodging Alex's hand and settling an arm around her shoulder. "That's high praise coming from you."
Alex grins a little and heads toward the living room.
"I'll join you guys in a minute," Kara says, turning toward the window at the other side of the room.
Alex raises her brow. "Where are you going?"
"Italy."
Tension surges back into her frame, already bouncing on her sore legs. "There's an emergency? What's going on?" Alex runs a shaky hand through her hair. "Why didn't J'onn contact me?"
"No, no." Kara shakes her head and Alex's face scrunches in confusion. "Nothing like that."
"What's there then?"
The blonde leans in close, cupping a hand over her mouth and Alex's ear. "The best tiramisu in the world."
/
On the couch, Alex sees Lena and Maggie sitting with legs crossed and pulled close in front of them, plates of takeout balanced in their laps.
Maggie's eyes are red rimmed, and Lena's hair is swept off her shoulder, falling in loose waves down her back. But Maggie's lips flicker upward as Lena tells a story in a low voice and Alex can't pick up the details as she gathers some food, but she hears Lena mention Lex with a smile beneath her words and it's something Alex rarely catches, knows how hard it is for Lena to allow herself to peruse those memories and moments.
Alex lingers at the counter until the story is over and by the time she drops beside Maggie, the window opens and Kara strides inside, bearing a grin and a white paper bag.
Alex smiles and Kara winks back before tucking the dessert away for later and focusing her attention on balancing three plates worth of food onto one.
/
They bypass a list of movies in favor of scrolling through the TV to find something to watch.
"You say when," Kara says, looking at Maggie and Alex as she runs through the programs playing on each channel.
"I don't care," Maggie murmurs quietly, the initial distraction of dinner and friends giving way to a stone of guilt in the pit of her stomach. She lowers her fork and drops her plate onto the coffee table, not even half finished.
Alex squeezes her tight and Maggie allows herself to melt into the touch, wrapping an arm around Alex's waist. She tucks her head into Alex, draws her legs closer, making herself small.
"Too full for tiramisu?"
Maggie raises her head from Alex's shoulder.
"You in?" A smile spreads across Kara's cheeks as she tilts her head, awaiting Maggie's reply.
"Okay yeah," Maggie decides with a definitive nod.
Kara let's out a soft laugh as she passes the remote to Lena. "I'll be right back."
When she returns a moment later, the TV is tuned to a piece on the travel channel about backpacking through Southeast Asia. She carries over four forks and, in bag with crisp creases and a neat fold across the opening, the dessert from another side of the world— a promise, a declaration, and an 'I love you' all layered together in her hands.
Maggie reaches out, brushing her fingers against the sticker securing the top of the bag, bearing the name of the bakery in loopy Italian script. "You went to Italy?" she asks, turning her gaze up to where Kara stands.
"Well yeah," Kara says, shrugging and smiling like it's nothing. "You said it was your favorite when I brought it for Christmas last year."
Maggie's bottom lip quivers, she blinks, and the tears pour.
She stands, blanket dropping from her lap and pooling at her feet.
"Oh, hey," Kara's voice softens, and she frees her hands, placing the utensils and dessert on the coffee table behind her. "Oh, Maggie."
Maggie's arms open and Kara envelopes her in a hug, the smaller woman fitting in the folds her arms create. "I'm sorry."
"You did nothing wrong," Kara whispers, rubbing Maggie's back as the detective clings to her. "It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel everything that you're feeling."
Maggie hangs on, fingers burrowing in Kara's blonde hair and silk blouse, because Kara's known more loss than anyone Maggie's ever met and Kara's still here, standing upright and she still has the warmth to wrap Maggie in a hug and promise her, that against all odds, everything has a way of working itself out. And the words of assurance that usually seem so hollow, frail as empty promises, are autobiography when they come from Kara. As tangible and real as the woman in front of her, squeezing her close.
Maggie hiccups and holds on harder.
Over her shoulder, Kara catches Alex's eye.
The older sister shoots her a sad smile, sliding to the edge of the couch to settle a hand on the small of Maggie's back as it shakes, steadying it with the weight of her thumb, brushing back and forth.
Maggie shakes her head, turning away from Kara and burying her face in Alex's waiting arms. "I don't deserve this," she sputters between the flurry of tears. "I don't deserve you guys."
Her lips press warm against Alex's collarbone and Alex leans down, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. "That's not true."
"Not at all, Maggie," Lena speaks up, posture straight as she watches the pair.
"You're the best, Maggie, and we love you," Kara says, soft in the way her body slants toward them, hands hovering to help, eyes shimmering. "I don't share my tiramisu with just anyone now, do I?" Kara teases, catching Maggie's eye when she turns her head, cheek pressed against Alex's chest and hair sticking to her damp skin.
"Kara barely even shares with me," Lena adds.
A smile tugs at Maggie's lips.
"She threatened to melt my face over a potsticker once," Alex says, nodding and bending to look her fiancée in the eyes.
A watery laugh rattles through Maggie's throat and she pulls away from Alex to drag her hands under her eyes, swiping away the tears there. Alex's hand catches her fingers in their rough movement, she kisses her knuckles and uses the pads of her own thumbs to divert the paths of tears down Maggie's cheek.
Maggie's face scrunches up as she takes a step to steady herself, rubbing her forehead with her hand.
"Headache?" Alex asks, keeping her voice low.
"Yeah but it's not bad," Maggie shakes her head and closes her eyes to ward off the spinning. "I just want to say—I… Thanks." Maggie's throat tightens up. "All of you."
" 'course," Kara says and rubs Maggie's shoulder. "Now how about we settle in with some tiramisu?"
Maggie agrees and follows Alex's lead back down onto the couch. "And a good dog movie," she declares. "…like Marley & Me."
"Marley & Me?!" Kara flings her hand against her chest. "Maggie, are you trying to make us all cry? I'm already emotional."
A grin climbs up Maggie's cheeks, crinkling her eyes—red rimmed and swollen. " 's a good movie. It has dogs… and it has Jennifer Aniston"
She shrugs and she's smiling, and Alex is laughing and there's not a doubt in the room that Marley & Me is going to be on the TV screen within the next five minutes.
"Let us take care of getting everything set up," Lena says and Kara nods in agreement. "You two just relax."
So, Maggie and Alex snuggle into the middle of the couch and Kara piles blankets on top of them while she waits for the movie to load.
Lena returns with Aspirin and water.
"For your headache," she tells Maggie, "And let's not pretend I didn't see you wincing earlier," she says to Alex when the woman raises her brow at the medication being tilted in her direction. "You were limping."
Guilt gathers inside Maggie, the past few hours a blur of barely holding herself together, so much so that she hadn't even noticed the extent of Alex's hurt. Maggie must murmur something of her thoughts out loud, because a moment later Alex shakes her head and entwines her fingers with Maggie's beneath the blanket.
"It's not that bad. Promise."
Maggie bites her lip and Alex squeezes her hand.
"Just take something for the pain at least?" Maggie asks, brows tilted in concern.
"Okay," Alex says, nodding.
Three minutes later and the movie starts, the four of them squished together on the couch—all tangled legs and warm bodies—passing around the tiramisu. The opening credits fade out and Maggie still has a snarled wire of panic and guilt surging from her head to her heart but in this moment, there are three people at her side functioning as buffers against it.
She has tomorrow and all the days to come to start the work of untangling; and, she has now, with the people around her to just breathe.
"Alex?" she whispers without moving her head from where it rests on the other woman's shoulder.
"Yeah?" Alex tilts just slightly, so Maggie's hair gets mused against her cheek and tickles the tip of Alex's nose.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." Maggie runs her fingers over a fold of the blanket across Alex's leg. She flicks her eyes back up toward Alex's face, a silhouette against the blue TV light. "I wish I would have."
Alex shakes her head. "You don't have to apologize."
"I was ashamed," Maggie admits, cheeks flushing. "and guilty and scared and so angry, I didn't want you to see me so broken and screwed up… the way…" Maggie swallows hard. "The way my mom did."
Alex shakes her head so hard this time, Maggie has to reach up to smooth down her own hair. "Nothing in the universe could ever make me see you as anything other than what you are. And Maggie Sawyer, you are a marvel. You are tough and you are brave and kind, and you are all the best thing about this world wrapped up into one body."
Maggie's bottom lip quivers and she turns, burrowing into Alex's hold. "I love you, Alex."
"I love you, too, Mags. Forever."
Alex kisses Maggie, salty with their silent tears mingling on their lips with Marley bounding through the grass on the TV in front of them.
/
"That movie gets me every time, I can't believe you hadn't seen it before tonight." The screen fades to black and Kara turns on the couch, sending a pillow flying to the floor and a blanket following its descent. Kara pauses, narrowing her eyes. "Oh my god, Lena! You're—"
"Don't say a single word, Kara." Lena sniffles, using both of her palms to wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks. "You cried through the whole movie. You have no right to tease me."
"Yeah, but in my defense, I didn't say I wasn't going to cry."
"Well, it's sad, okay?!" Lena's voice cracks on the last word and Kara giggles, the melody of the sound cracking the frown on Lena's face and replacing it with laughter. She grins and picks the pillow off the floor, tossing it in Kara's direction. "You're the evil one for making me watch that."
Kara sticks out her tongue. "Hey, this one was Maggie's choice."
Their laughter cuts off at the same time, their gazes turned on the detective who's curled into Alex, knees tucked up against her chest and frame enveloped by Alex's hold and the blanket draped over her arm.
They're both pressed together, breaths slow and eyes closed, deep in the trenches of sleep.
"I feel so bad," Lena says, shifting her eyes from the sleeping pair and up toward Kara.
"Me too."
Kara runs a thumb over Maggie's knee, her other hand resting on Alex's leg.
"We should get going," she says.
Lena stands and offers a hand, pulling Kara from the couch. "I'll get things cleaned up out here, your super strength can get them to bed? They need a good night's rest after the day they've had."
Kara lets the ghost of a smile spread across her face. "What good is super strength if not for carrying your sister and her future wife to tuck them into bed?"
Lena gives an exaggerated shrug. "Super duties for a Supergirl."
Kara laughs, and warmth swells in Lena's chest.
/
"They're going to be okay, right?" Lena asks as she and Kara ease the door closed, leaving behind a heart-filled note in Kara's loopy script reminding the couple to call if they need anything.
Kara twists the lock with the extra key Alex had given her when she and Maggie first moved in. She drops her keys back into her bag and turns to Lena, nodding.
"They have each other and," she slips an arm over Lena's shoulder as they step into the elevator. "For when they're both hurting too much, they have us."
