Yes, there is a plot. Yes, the first chapter is crack. No, I can't write humor. And yes, I know it'll probably suck. Hearing all that, do you still want to read this?
Why Me?
Chapter One
"Please?"
"No."
"Pretty please?"
"No."
"Pretty, pretty please? With sprinkles on top?"
Tsuna turned away from the TV to look at Yamamoto long enough to say, "No."
"Aww, come on Tsuna! Just this once! Please?!"
"Yada!"
Yamamoto stood in front of the TV screen, "Please, Tsuna?"
"How many times do I have to tell you? No!"
"Onegai, Tsuna!" Yamamoto pleaded at a scowling Tsuna, "You're the only one I can ask! No one else would suffice! Please! Please do this for me as well as Gokudera!"
Tsuna sighed, he was always weak whenever his friends asked him for favors, but, "Yamamoto-kun, you know that we're friends, right? And that I'll do anything for you guys, right? I'll even give my life up for all of you if it means it means I could save you all from death! But… But I can't just do this! I can't Yamamoto!"
"But… you dressed like that once before, right? Why can't you do it now? The cause is good!"
"I have never, in my life, agreed to dress like that. If you remember, I was forced to dress up like that! I mean, why in the world would I—argh! I still don't wanna!" Tsuna said, standing up to turn off the TV.
"But… But it looked so good on you! Everyone thought you were really a—,"
"Don't. Say. It." Tsuna said, flopping back down in the couch. He cradled his head and mumbled, "I don't wanna hear it, don't wanna listen to that, don't wanna remember that, don't wanna dress like that ever again! So don't force me to wear anything even remotely close to that EVER AGAIN!"
"C'mon Tsuna! Just this once! Please?! I'm begging you! I'll do whatever you want me to! I'll even ask Gokudera to stop being so energetic around you! I'll make you bentos everyday! I-I'll even ask Reborn to lay off on your training for a week! I'll even do your chores for you! Just please! I beg of you Tsuna! Help us! Just pretend you're my girlfriend for a week! Just for the Golden Week! Nothing more, nothing less! Just pleeeease!"
Tsuna shook his head, defeated, "Why me? Why should I pretend I'm your girlfriend? Wouldn't Gokudera be—,"
"Mad? Jealous?" Tsuna nodded. Yamamoto chuckled, "Gokudera is the reason why I'm asking you."
"Why? Did something happen?"
Yamamoto scratched his head, "Well… You see, my mother's relatives are staying with us till her death anniversary. And my dad… kinda slipped."
"Slipped? What do you mean—,"
"He slipped. He told everyone that I was already 'taken' and that my 'precious one' was really special."
Tsuna was unconvinced, "So? What do you need me for?"
"Well… My mom's relatives aren't really the open-minded type of people. They even went against mom and dad's wedding before. And… If they find out that I'm taken by a guy… I don't think they'd let it slide away just like that. I reckon they'd take me with them to cleanse me off my sins or exorcise me from the demon that's possessing my body or something."
"So? Why are you asking me to dress up like a girl to pretend I'm your girlfriend?"
"Because… They asked me to bring my 'precious one' home so they could meet her. But my 'precious one' isn't exactly the type of girl they want. My 'precious one' isn't exactly a girl either."
"Why me? What have I got that Haru, Kyoko or Bianchi or any other girl dying to grovel at your feet don't have?"
Yamamoto laughed, "Well, you've got balls."
"Drop the jokes, I'm being serious here. Why can't you just choose some other girl in school? From a girl in your fanclub? Or Gokudera-kun's fanclub? I know they'd kill to get a chance to pretend to be your girlfriend. I mean, they could probably pretend better than I can! Who knows! Some of them might be pretending right now?!"
"Tsuna… That's the point. Some of those girls pretend too much. If they say something like marriage… Who knows what'll happen then?!"
"Then how about Kyoko or Haru? It's just pretending for a week, right? They'd help you out I'm sure."
"I know they'd be willing to help us out but Haru doesn't live around here plus we don't go to the same school. Kyoko has Ryohei as a brother. Not that I don't like him –because I do- but… Ryohei's a bit too honest for a normal person. I can't have him blurt out that we're just pretending!"
"You've… got a point there."
Yamamoto nodded, "So Gokudera and I are in a pinch. If they find out, what Gokudera and I built up might go to waste. I don't want to have to start all over again. I really, truly, honestly love Gokudera and I just don't want anything bad to happen to him. I don't want him to hear whatever bad things my relatives have got to say over the kind of relationship we have. I don't want him to be the butt of their anger because he doesn't deserve it. I-I don't want to see him sad. Tsuna, please… If they find out, they might separate us and I don't want that to happen… And even if we manage to win in the end—,"
Tsuna raised his hand and said, "Stop. I don't want to hear about that anymore."
"Tsuna…"
Smiling, Tsuna said, "You've really changed, haven't you? If something like this happened before, you wouldn't be panicking this much, would you?"
"No, I don't think so," Yamamoto replied, laughing.
"Ugh. I give up," collapsing on the couch, Tsuna mumbled, "I'll do whatever you want me to."
But before Yamamoto could celebrate, Tsuna suddenly sat up, glancing suspiciously around the room he said, "Yamamoto, come to think of it, where is Gokudera?"
"Ahaha! Well! Gokudera is… Gokudera was…"
Suddenly, a loud 'BANG!' was echoed around the room. Both Tsuna and Yamamoto looked to where the sound had come from to find a panting Gokudera carrying a somewhat large paper bag.
After catching his breath, he screamed, "Yamamoto! Tenth! I've bought it!"
"Bought what?"
Yamamoto chuckled nervously, "Now, now, Go-kun, Tsuna's just agreed a while ago, we mustn't rush him. Just keep that for a little while."
Gokudera visibly glowered, "You told me to buy this—this thing in that kind of store immediately because we need it fast and you say I have to keep this thing?! Why do I have to keep this?! You keep it! I've had enough of looking so stupid carrying this thing around!"
"Rush me? Thing?" Tsuna said, looking at Yamamoto and Gokudera with a particular gleam in his eyes, "What are you guys talking about?"
"Tenth! This-this guy! He forced me to go to—,"
"Go-kun!!" Yamamoto said, placing his hand over Gokudera's mouth. Wrapping an arm around Gokudera's shoulders he led him to a corner of Tsuna's living room, out of earshot from Tsuna and whispered, "Look, we can't tell him we already bought the clothes he's going to wear! He might freak out even more! And that's the least thing we want to happen. He's already agreed to do this with a lot of persuasion and begging on my part. And if he finds out about that dress and that we've asked Kyoko and Haru to dress him up before telling him, he might altogether refuse." Yamamoto's eyes softening, he whispered sadly, "We can't fail at this, Ha-chan."
Gokudera sighed and said, "I know we can't afford to let your relatives know. I know the Tenth might flip out and refuse. I know! But… but buying clothes in a very popular women's clothing line with everyone looking at you," Gokudera growled, voice growing louder and louder by the word, "is kind of EMBARASSING! Do you know how many women asked me if they could help me pick out clothes for my girlfriend?! Do you know how embarrassing that was for me?! Some of them even giggled behind my back, whispering stuff like, 'He's so cute he's picking clothes for his girlfriend!' and 'Awww… How sweet, I wish my guy would do that for me' with such high pitched and whiny voices! Some of the girls were even asking me what kind of girl I was buying the clothes for and gave me TIPS! Tips to pick the right kind of clothes for a girl for crying out loud! I didn't know what to say back to them! But every time I replied, all of them giggled! Giggled and laughed and… DAMN YOU, TAKESHI! That was the most horrifying experience in my whole friggin' life! How could you—,"
Forcing Gokudera to come closer to him, Yamamoto growled, "Hayato. Shut up." And promptly kissed him.
Yamamoto pulled away quickly, smiling, he saw a blushing Gokudera holding a hand over his mouth, "Wha-wha-what was that for, YOU JERK!!!" And got a punch to the face as a reward.
"Maa, Go-kun… That was just a quick kiss!"
"It's not that!"
Yamamoto raised a brow, 'Oh, so it wasn't the kiss, huh? Does this mean I could kiss him anytime I want?'
"It's rude to kiss in front of the Tenth, bastard!"
'Heh. I knew it was that,' Yamamoto thought, chuckling to himself, "But, Tsuna doesn't mind." Saying that, Yamamoto turned to where they left Tsuna, "Right, Tsu—," and felt his heart race with dread.
Tsuna had probably stood up in the middle of Yamamoto and Gokudera's rant, which was why they didn't notice him inching towards the ominous package. Suddenly getting their gears working, both of them raced to where Tsuna was, hoping they'd be able to snatch it away from Tsuna before he opened it. Tsuna may have been a No Good before, but after Reborn's Training Regime from Hell, he had shaped up, getting quite terrifying when the need arises. Yamamoto and Gokudera knows that Tsuna would never hurt family. But this was a different story. And on a whole different level.
"Tsuna! Don't open—", "TENTH!! DON'T OPEN IT YET!" They had screamed. But Tsuna had already crossed the room to where Gokudera had dropped the thing near the door. With wide eyes, Yamamoto and Gokudera watched as Tsuna opened the package painstakingly slow.
Tsuna had heard his friends' scream to not open the thing. But he was curious so he opened it… only to find out that the proverb, 'Curiousity kills the cat' was true.
Pulling the thing out, he forcedly smiled, "What is this?!"
Nervous chuckles were heard from his friends, "Eh… It's a dress."
"A dress? I can see that. I can see three dresses in here."
"Ah… That's right, three dresses." Smiling nervously, Gokudera whispered to Yamamoto, "What do we now, smart ass? He's seen it."
"I don't know," Yamamoto whispered back, equally nervous, "I've never seen Tsuna as mad as this."
Hearing Tsuna's defeated sigh, they both looked back at him. "Tsuna?"
"I give up. I honestly give up. You guys have thought about this a lot, haven't you? To buy a dress even if I haven't agreed yet."
"Well," Gokudera began, "We knew you'd agree anyway. That's what's so admirable about you. If it's family, you'd do anything, even if it means you'd have to give up your ego – or your life. We tried to not get you into this mess, but nothing else would work. I-I'm really sorry for involving you in our affairs, Tenth! I promise you! No one else, apart from those who already know, would hear about this!"
"I do hope no one else would know. Imagine how Kyoko would react if she knew I'd dress up as a girl! I wouldn't be able to live it down!"
"Ahahaha… Right."
That nervous laugh made Tsuna suspicious, "What do you mean by, 'Ahahaha… Right'? Does she know?!"
Yamamoto and Gokudera tried not to look at Tsuna's eyes. "Yamamoto-kun, Gokudera-kun! DOES SHE KNOW?! Who else knows?!"
"We couldn't exactly tell you right away what we were planning. I mean, we were going to ask you to become a girl for a week! We thought you'd refuse profusely and ask us to think of someone else. So we asked other people for their opinion on the matter."
"Asked their opinion on what?"
"On you becoming a girl."
"Why'd you go around and ask that of all things?!"
"We couldn't think of anyone else! Haru and Kyoko were out of the question. Bianchi's too mature to look like she's taken by someone like Yamamoto. And…"
"And?"
"And I don't think I can act like I love someone if isn't Gokudera or you."
Tsuna was silenced with that. After a while and considerably less agitated he said, "Then why not Gokudera-kun? Why me?"
"Because they've seen me and Yamamoto together accidentally. If I dress up and they notice I was that boy they caught with their nephew doing those kinda stuff, I don't think it'll end pretty."
"I can't believe you do stuff in public."
Blushing madly, Gokudera quickly replied, "We don't! TENTH! WE DON'T! We were in this bastard's room… And then they just suddenly barged in and saw us…. Err…"
Tsuna laughed hard.
"TENTH! We were just kiss—I-I honestly can't say it in public…"
In between gasps, Tsuna said, "Gomen ne, Gokudera-kun. I shouldn't have laughed."
"I'm really sorry for involving you in this…"
Smiling, Tsuna replied, "Iie. If it means I could help maintain your happy relationship, I'll do it. But," he said, turning to face Yamamoto, "Did your dad really slip and say you were already taken or did Gokudera slip and accidentally told me the real reason why you need me to pretend I'm your girlfriend?"
Gokudera blanched. Yamamoto only laughed.
"So. Who else knows?"
Before both of them could answer, a quiet but deadly voice called, "Tsuna."
Looking down, Tsuna saw Reborn, suddenly appearing yet again, cocking his gun at him, "Reborn! What the—,"
"I agreed to let you dress up, Tsuna. As the next Boss of the Vongola, you need to be able to adapt well to every kind of situation. That is why I'm turning this into training. If they notice you're pretending, if anyone else aside for those who know finds out, if you fail, I'll make you pay with training twice as hard."
"B-but! Reborn! Isn't that—argh! Training?! Training for what, anyway?!"
"Espionage. Decoy. Take your pick. You have to be well versed with disguising yourself to accomplish that and more. As the next Vongola, you need to learn many different skills. For now, you haven't even reached half of the skills needed to be even considered dangerous."
And before Tsuna could complain, the door opened, revealing his mom, Bianchi, Haru, Kyoko, Lambo and I-pin carrying large shopping bags and groceries.
"Tadaima!" They chorused.
"Okaeri," Tsuna said and smiled at Kyoko.
Upon hearing his voice, however, everyone turned to greet him but upon seeing Tsuna carrying a dress Haru, Kyoko and Nana squealed in delight.
"Kyaaaaaaa Tsuna! That dress looks absolutely fantastic! I have no doubts that it'd look so good on you!"
Nooooo! Kyoko! That dress would look so horrible on me!
"Tsuna! I can just imagine what that dress would look like on you! I'd have to think of the color of make-up that would match with that! Kyaaa! I can't wait to dress you up, Tsuna!"
Make-up?! What the—
"Oh my, Tsu-kun! What a lovely dress! I never mentioned it but I've always wanted to have a daughter! Oh Tsu-kun! Thanks for agreeing with this!"
Not you too, Mom! I didn't agree to dress up because I wanted to!
"Tsuna, I'll make a special diet for you. You need to keep that slim figure if you want to look good in dresses."
No thanks. I'd rather keep my life than keep slim.
"If you fail, Tsuna, remember the consequences."
Reborn… You never fail to seek out situations to torture me, do you?!
"Baka Tsuna's gonna wear a dress! Baka Tsuna's gonna wear a dress! Baka Tsuna's gonna wear a dress!"
ArghLambo! You don't have to say it! It hurts even thinking about it!
Tsuna's head was swirling by the time they finished giggling and fawning and laughing over his soon-to-be-worn dress and predicament.
"Yamamoto-kun, Gokudera-kun," he heard himself say, "Why the heck did you tell all of them?!"
Was everyone too out of character? I'll try to keep their personalities in check the next chapter.:D
