Author's Note: I've always liked Jung the most out of all the princes, straight from the beginning - and I've always said that I thought Soo would be happiest if she ended up with him for real.
But she doesn't.
Hope everyone likes this, please tell me what you thought.
When all the world is young, lad
And all the trees are green;
And every goose a swan, lad
And every lass a queen;
Then hey for boot and horse, lad
And round the world away;
Young blood must have its course, lad,
And every dog his day.
When all the world is old, lad,
And all the trees are brown;
And all the sport is stale, lad,
And all the wheels run down:
Creep home and find your place there,
The spent and maimed among:
God grant you find one face there
You loved when you were young.
- Charles Kingsley
Jung is a boy.
He does what his mother tells him, he laughs with his brothers, and he brawls because it's fun. Nothing is ugly, there is always sunlight streaming through the leaves, and his knuckles are bruised. He has no questions for the world, only laughter.
When So comes back to Songak, Jung doesn't understand.
He doesn't understand why his mother that loves him and spends so much time with Yo, hates this brother so much. He doesn't understand why the fourth prince has a scar on his face, and so he simply does what everyone else does; avoids him.
Jung is terrified.
When the axe is raised over his arm, Jung is powerless to stop it. It isn't his fault, any of it; he didn't take that man's arm off! It is unfair, and he struggles against those holding him down with everything he has. If his mother hates So because of his scar, will she hate Jung if he's missing an arm? The thought is lightning-fast.
Jung is infatuated.
He doesn't recognize it, of course; he's never been in love before. But Hae Soo is cheerful, strong, and utterly fearless, her eyes are liquid and large, and her wide smile makes him want to smile too. He pledges himself to her, without full knowledge of what he's doing – yet even if he had, he would have no regrets. "From now on, your life is like mine!" Her quick embrace leaves him speechless.
There is so much Jung doesn't know.
Jung doesn't know what 'Hwaiting!' means, but it is something that only him and Soo share. He grins and raises his fist, cheerfully calling her 'sister'. He doesn't let the escalating tensions between his brothers bother him, and he reaches for the sunlight as he always has; yet it is just a little bit harder than before. He doesn't fight in the streets anymore and devotes himself to sword training. When he shows Soo his sword-work, she claps her hands and her eyes shine.
Jung always wants to see her with that expression.
She won't be able to smile like that if she marries a strange man, much older than her. He is ready to stand and defy his father, defy the monarch of his country to rescue Soo from her fate. Almost all his brothers are together on this, even So; as if it is meant to be, or rather, not meant to be. Jung may be young, but he is determined not to let down the people he cares about, and he still doesn't know why his heart flutters when she laughs.
Jung doesn't know what happened the night Soo was meant to be wed to the king.
But now she's a court lady, and the colorful uniform doesn't take away from her beauty. Now that she's entered the palace, he can see her more often, and although she has a large scar on her wrist, her smile is still brighter than the noon sun on a summer's day. When she sings for Eun on his birthday, her voice is clear and smooth, and his heart soars. He still doesn't understand why his cheeks heat up when he talks to her.
Jung will stand by her.
No matter what it takes. When Won accuses Soo of poisoning, he rushes to her defense, but no-one listens to him. He's failed her. Jung wants to go see her, but he's afraid she will hate him for being powerless. He hears from Wook that she will be tortured, but Wook only looks sad and does nothing. Jung is locked in his room by his mother's orders.
Jung refuses to fail her a second time.
She sits there, on her knees, face pale and bloodied, swaying, voice gone. She is alone, the Cheondeokjeon is massive, and no-one listens. The rain falls around her and he steps forward. Moo cautions him, Won holds him back. He growls and shakes off his brother's hand, because it's his fault. The umbrella drops, and he goes to kneel in the courtyard, braving the icy rain, just like her. "You're not alone," he wants to say.
Jung is an adult too, now.
He tells Soo this, but she only tries to leave, hunched with drudgery and hopelessness. She is thin and worn, and Jung is even taller now, and bigger; training more often. He wishes he could stand over her and bear the brunt of the attack – but this enemy is not one he can beat with a sword, and he watches her from afar, helpless against the king. The king is his father – yet has never been a true father to Jung. Jung feels no shame in hating him for her situation. It wasn't Soo's fault, it was never Soo's fault. It is unfair.
Jung is stronger.
When he comes back from Khitan, he's killed many men. A battle, he finds out, is nothing like what is written in books and histories – nothing like a lighthearted street-brawl or sparring with the Arms-master. He wears armor like a second skin and is unafraid to look Yo right in the eyes when he makes his request for Soo's hand. Yo smirks, Jung stands his ground – and now he has a way to get her out of the palace that came so close to destroying her twice already. He doesn't tell her about the decree yet.
When Jung finally realizes he loves Hae Soo with everything he has, he knows he has no chance.
It is his fourth brother who holds her heart, and Jung feels absurdly angry at him for it. But he doesn't let it show, treating him with aloof respect. He stays by Soo's side, offering her any support he can – a childhood friend, nothing more, nothing less. He smiles when he drinks her tea for the first time in two years, and the tightness in his shoulders seems to be going away. He loves her.
Jung is still reckless.
He comes into the palace to see her, and she holds a hairpin to her neck to keep So from venturing inside her quarters and finding Jung. Something about that makes him fell a spike of satisfaction, while the rest of him curses himself. The thin red line on her throat is his fault, and she got it protecting him. When they talk, far into the night like the old friends they are, Soo falls asleep, and Jung covers her tenderly with a blanket, tucking the hairpin away for himself.
Jung will do anything for her.
On that far-away day when he pledged himself to her, saying he would treat her life like his; he was wrong. He'd die for her, he realizes – and when it is time to protect Eun from Yo's wrath, he does all he can to protect her. "I'll hold them off," he says. It is enough for her, but not for Eun. When So's sword ends Eun's life, Jung can no longer look at him the same way again.
Jung watches.
So becomes king, more people die. It is a never-ending cycle of death, and he wishes both he and Soo could leave forever, that Eun was alive and he would come with them, and that they would sail far away to some of the fantastical places Soo described on long-gone sun-soaked days. His mother dies also, and he feels an abundance of sorrow, yet he remembers what she truly was, and doesn't let it eat away at him. He stands outside the palace, and when Baek Ah gives him water, he pours it over his head, refusing to be weak.
Jung offers Soo a way out, but she does not take it yet.
He sees how much Soo loves the man who killed his brothers, and who sits on that throne as if he deserves it. When she prays over the little tower of rocks, he watches her carefully, wanting to embrace her, but knowing that since he is not a child any more there is a barrier between them. He finally tells her there is a way to leave the palace, knowing that while she loves So for now and he cannot dissuade her, there will be pain ahead. He doesn't tell her the details, but she shrugs it off, smiling. His brow creases and he presses his lips together as his heart aches.
Jung is under house arrest.
But something must have happened, Soo wants to leave, and he brings out his secret weapon, the decree. So is enraged, but bends. Jung receives Soo with a smile, helping her out of the palanquin. She is as beautiful as always, if a little pale. This marriage is a way out of the palace, nothing more. He treats her the same as he always had, as a good friend should, but sometimes he watches her from afar and dreams of a world where they are married for love, and his brothers are all alive. He loves her unconditionally.
Jung is being spied on.
It is the king, he knows it, and he deliberately shows his closeness to Soo, so that So would just leave already. So is the one who hurt her, not Jung – and now he acts as if it is Jung who is in the wrong. Soo doesn't notice. She is getting thinner and paler, but there is definitely a curve to her belly. Jung knows without a doubt whose child it is, but he vows that it will not matter. Soo will regain her health, and they will raise the child as their own, together. She writes letters in So's handwriting.
Jung makes a fatal mistake.
He re-wraps the letters in his own handwriting, knowing it would be odd for the king to receive letters with his own writing on them. There comes no reply, and Soo is sad, getting weaker and weaker every day. But he believes that she can stay strong. Not for Jung, he is not enough, but for the child inside her.
Jung's child is beautiful.
He thinks of it as his, somehow, for he knows it will be he that raises it. To keep So from knowing, he hides it, puts out a report of a stillborn child, and watches Soo get ever weaker. Her lips are bloodless, her eyes are glassy, and her movements slow. She has barely strength to move. He knows she will not live out the summer, but he tries to convince both himself and her that maybe she can.
Soo cannot sing for Jung on his birthday as she had promised him once.
Tears rise in Jung's eyes as she apologizes for it, and he consoles her. There is a feast in front of them, Soo is beside him and eats nothing, eyelids dropping lower and lower, voice barely more than a whisper. He tries to smile, promises her he will take care of her child, of his child, and she droops against him. The singer says she will sing the song that made the king fall in love with a court lady. Eun's birthday song sounds wrong in another woman's mouth.
Jung watches Soo die.
She will forget everything in her next life, she whispers, and Jung weeps openly, cradling her to himself. When her eyes finally close for the last time, he thinks that soon enough, the world will come to an end. Her cold, limp hand does not move. Her lips are entirely bloodless, but there is exhaustion in her face even as she starts her final rest.
He holds her in his arms, and there is no longer anything.
The world is a haze.
He wears white mourning attire, the jade urn that was once Hae Soo sitting in front of him on the table. His eyes are red, and he has no more tears left inside of him so he just sits, drowning in his own sorrow, choking on it. Baek Ah comes, Baek Ah goes. Servants place food in front of him. he does not eat. Sometimes, the wet-nurse brings his daughter to him, and he holds the little bundle in his arms, her tiny face scrunching up.
Jung is exhausted.
When the king bursts in, they scream at each other, overcome with grief. Jung feels rage at this man whom he once called 'brother'. He abandoned Soo, he ignored her, and now he bursts into Jung's house and acts as if he has any claim to Soo any more. Yet he insists that Soo is 'his', as if she could be owned by anyone! He takes what remains of Jung's best friend, his first love, his most important person; his wife. Baek Ah tries to comfort him, and for the first time, Jung manages to say it.
"I loved her…"
"You poor fool," Baek Ah whispers, hugging him tightly.
Author's Note: Have a great week-end!
