Name: Omlettes
Author: Blondezilla90
Raiting: G
Characters/Pairing: Finn, hints of Finn/Rachel
Word Count: ~750
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me. If they would you'd think I'd write only fan fictions about them?
Spoilers: 1x21 - Funk
Summary: Finn's train of thoughts after he said his famous omlette line.
A/N: This supposed to be funny, super random... yeah...not that i'm go or something hahaha.
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I was angry. Super angry. How dare can Jesse St Jackass egg Rachel with his stupid Vocal Adrenalin friends. I want to beat him up so bad, take out all his anger on him and make him feel humiliated. Apparently Mr. Schuester wasn't as fond of the idea, stopping the us guys from leaving the choir room.
„We can't just let Vocal Adrenalin get away with turning Rachel into an Omlette."
I spat out, causing the whole room pause for a second. I smiled in my head and my gaze wandered over to Rachel, whose eyes clearly showed a hint of fright, proudness and a little amusement. I wondered if she was amused about what I said or about the fact Mr Schuester called Jesse on her pink, bedazzled phone.
Mr Schuester really needs to learn how to be a real bad ass. Maybe Puck can teach him a lesson or two. He's a real bad ass and a jerk. After all he knocked up my girlfriend, but despite everything he's still my partner in crime. I get along well with Artie too, but wheeling him away after slashing tires would be just too damn obvious.
Uh oh, Rachel is look at me again. I still wonder why tho. She should know by now the guys would stick up for her, after all Kurt was right: Rachel is one of us and we're the ones who should be allowed to make fun of her. Not that I'd like ever make fun of Rachel, no. I mean it's Rachel. Rachel is awesome. She is beautiful.
She's just...amazing.
I still cannot believe how Vocal Adrenalin tried to turn her into an Omlette. Eggs are sticky and disgusting. Plus it's hot, so they could like boil...and turn hard and stuff. Well, in that case someone, preferably I, would be able to eat it off her.
Oh common Hudson, pull your head out of the gutter. Even if Rachel was a nicely, soft Omlette, you wouldn't eat her. I love Omlettes tho. Especially with onions and bacon...but wait? Didn't Rachel say she is a vegan? I looked up what that meant...and it means she doesn't eat anything that comes from animals or something. So I assume Rachel doesn't eat Omlettes.
Hmm...she doesn't know what she is missing tho. I mean, my mom makes them sometimes and I always get super excited, because they're super delicious. Oh well. I hope if I ever date her she won't mind me eating them. I mean...
Wait! Slow down Finn. You're NOT dating her. You broke up with her...and now Jesse broke her heart. She probably felt like I felt after Quinn told me the truth. She probably needs time now to get over it all.
Oh well.
Back to the Omlettes. I really hope Rachel was able to wash it all off before it dried. God, she probably had to scrub herself under the shower and stuff to get it out. Her hands full of soap running along her legs and belly and bre...
OHMYGAWD. Focus. Naughty thoughts leave. God. All this thinking makes my head hurt. Rachel makes me think way too much sometimes, but I love her anyways.
WAIT...
I mean...I lo..like her...a lot.
Ugh, she is looking at me again. I hope she cannot read my mind. Now that would be like totally embarrassing. She'd probably smack me upside the head and call me stupid and leave. Although... It's Rachel. She has never ever before called me stupid. Rachel is nice.
Yes, she has her flaws and stuff, but she is cool and she wears the shortest skirts he has ever seen. Yeahhh, the cheerios wore them too, but look at the cheerios. They're not looking half as good as Rachel in short skirts. Plus, they cannot rock the animal sweaters...ohh or the sequined leg warmers Rachel wears during gym.
Is it getting hotter in here or is it me? Oh man.
WAIT.
Rachel is coming towards me..God what should I say? I mean what..the...
"Hey Finn." She said in sweet voice and looked up at him.
"About turning you into an Omlette...I promise you I wouldn't eat you." She gave me suddenly a weird look and I wanted to bite my tongue off.
WHAT THE FUCK FINN? You're so dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb.
"That's good to know," Rachel giggled and winked at him, walking past him and out of the room.
THE END
