Magnetize

This is the first time I'll try a first person perspective in my story. I hope this is not too angsty for you. I have to get this out while I'm trying to write the next chapter of Sinfully Yours. I'm still trying to get past this block in my head. This one just has an easy plot. But hot damn, I am a wordy writer.

Hehe. Have you ever noticed that the two other Midotaka fanfics I wrote have single words as titles? Both verbs, too. Linger and Ignite. Yey, I'm so corny hehehe…

Thanks to those who keep on reading my stuff. You know who you are and you're UHH-mazing.

P.S. I did some half assed research on the schools the boys will be attending in college. I hope you don't laugh at my efforts in trying to make the setting as realistic as I can. I can only go by with what Wikipedia can give me. #lol.

EXOxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoEXO

The aftermath of Senior year.

We finally made it. We were graduating.

After three rambunctious years of high school, I was finally going to ditch my gakuran uniform in favor of cool civilian clothes. Proclaiming me to be an adult. I was going to start college in a Tokyo university, though, alas, it was not really my first choice.

I did not pass the entrance exam of my top university pick. The test was just so damn difficult even when I gave it everything in me to study for that stupid thing. In the end I still failed. So, beggars could not be choosers. And it was good enough that I passed my second pick, Tokyo Metropolitan University in Hachioji, Tokyo. It was a public university but was still considered a good school. I applied for half scholarship since I knew I would get drafted for the basketball team and thankfully they accepted me. Even though it was a public university and the tuition fee was generally inexpensive, there were still miscellaneous fees I had to take care of. I did not come from a destitute family, but I loved the fact that I was saving my parents a big burden of sending me to college, since most of the time I was sure I would spend in basketball anyway.

During the graduation ceremonies, I couldn't keep still in my seat. I bounced my knees from left to right, and so on and so forth.

This was it. This was totally it. I was going to be a cool adult like college guy. In a few weeks. I couldn't wait for April fast enough.

The principal on top of the stage giving the high school certificates paused on the mic and cleared his throat before calling the next student who would come up the stage.

"Midorima Shintarou."

I stopped fidgeting. My knees momentarily ceased their bouncing.

Truth be told, if there was anyone or anything else in the world hotter than my tall green eyed Miracle of a teammate, then it would have to be the sun itself.

Midorima Shintarou was just about the most perfect specimen of a man that ever walked on this planet.

Yep. I had fallen so hard, so deep for that gigantic stoic eccentric guy with the funny grammar. Believe me, it wasn't a laughing matter. I was seriously heart broken.

Why, you ask? Well, because in the name of anything that was holy and righteous and breathing I was a guy. That stupidly hot classmate of mine, Shintarou – or Shin-chan – as I liked to call him, was also a guy.

And what did that mean?

Boo fucking hoo.

I didn't want to accept the truth at first. I thought, at fourteen, when I started to have these weird feelings, these unexplained longings whenever I looked at a guy's pale muscled thigh longer than was normal, I thought it was only admiration for bodily parts which looked better than mine. I had always been skinny growing up. But then I found that these weird attractions did not go away. Rather, when I started high school, they kind of – intensified.

It became harder to tear my eyes away off my male classmates, especially the good looking ones. Though I could tell no one noticed my weird behavior. I hid it well enough.

And it became especially hard for me to deny the truth any longer since Shin-chan joined Shutoku basketball team which I was also a part of. I knew I couldn't squeal like a duck, but it took everything in me to stop myself from doing so. I had had this huge, and I mean freaking huge – mancrush on Midorima Shintarou since I saw him play in one of their Teiko matches.

He was just –

Mere words couldn't even describe how limitless his talent in basketball was.

He was a shooter with almost perfect accuracy. He could defend well and shoot just about wherever he was inside the court (probably from even the bathroom) and the ball would not miss the basket.

When I first met the fucker, he literally looked down his nose upon me. Well, of course I was five nine to his six five, so I could imagine how much of a midget he thought I was.

And he was just massive. Big shoulders, long muscled arms, powerful legs that could jump a mile high, and his green hair... Okay, so maybe his green hair was kinda strange. But it did not destroy the picture of a perfect basketball player who knew how to work every part of his body to his advantage. It was an instaboner for me.

That first day I glimpsed Midorima in his training shorts, pushing his glasses up his nose, running towards where the coach wanted him to run, I swear all the blood my heart was pumping went to one direction: southward. I remember I had to bite my lip real hard until I could taste the coppery tang of blood just so I could focus on what I was doing that day. I was in the middle of a damn training myself.

After that it was just hell for me.

Plain and simple.

I guess it was that time I finally accepted that there was no going back. Sure I was physically attracted to boys, it even started when I was fourteen. But all those times I thought to myself: it shouldn't even matter. I would still go to a university and marry my neighbor Mimi-chan when we both graduated. That deal was almost set in stone as Mimi-chan and I were best friends since we were in diapers. We were practically engaged since birth. And it was even blessed by both our parents.

But no. All thoughts of a happy normal family disappeared from my head that day that green haired giant walked into the basketball club and signed up for the team.

Yeah he had always been my crush since junior high, but I never thought he would actually attend the same school I did! When before he was just a dream I secretly fantasized about now he was right there in front of me, a living breathing embodiment of a kind of wanting that would never ever go away.

So yeah, I accepted that I, Takao Kazunari, was gay. Finally. And being this much attracted to a guy, I didn't think I could pretend that well to like girls. I liked girls just fine. As friends. But sexually?

I didn't think I could ever get it up for one.

Sure, girls loved me. I was a girl magnet because I was such an easy going guy, and I loved making jokes. They sure felt comfortable with me. I dated, yeah. But nothing ever led to sex. It never even entered my mind to use heterosexual sex as an excuse to alleviate the strong urges I felt.

But looking at Midorima –

There were times when it became too painful for me to watch him in our training that I would sometimes make hasty escapes to the boys' room to quietly take care of my hard on. I would sit on the toilet and bite down hard on the fabric of my shirt so I wouldn't make any noise while I pumped the orgasm out of my erection.

No other boy had ever had that kind of effect on me.

We started the regular drills and I found myself being in the same group as Midorima was almost all of the time. We barely talked, or rather, he barely talked to me, even when I would try to draw him into conversations. Midorima would merely grunt at me as he was completely focused in all the drills we were doing.

Even outside training, I found that Midorima was a quiet reserved giant who only talked if he was giving instructions to his teammates within the game. And that sucked big time. I was naturally a talkative and easygoing guy, and had befriended most of my teammates in the basketball club, except him.

He began talking to me when we stayed late for extra practice. There was no one more hardworking in our team than Midorima, considering that anyone could call him the most talented as it was. It never got into his head, how good he was. He just kept on training and training, working and working hard as if he could never be satisfied with his talent if he knew he wasn't bleeding enough on the floor slaving his ass off improving it.

That was just how he thought. He lived by the club's strict rules, and he even had more frigid ones for himself.

But when I began staying with him during the extra practices, training even harder than some of the guys, I felt his respect for me growing. Fine. Of course the main reason I stayed late was because of him, but my secondary goal was also to become better. I didn't want to eat the dust Midorima left on the court, and my other teammates' for that matter.

Gradually Midorima opened up and began sitting with me during practice. He began doing drills with me, until it became almost natural for us to be partners whenever we could do free plays.

I guess it was sort of an anticlimactic ending for my unrequited passions for that idiot. I mean, not that I was planning to confess or anything, but because it was Midorima… Because he was the kind of person whose trust wouldn't easily be won, and the fact that he treated me as a friend, they were enough reasons for me to stamp down my feelings and act like a true – normal, straight friend to him. Heck we even had buddy studying sessions in his room before exams.

I told myself that I couldn't make the mistake of letting Midorima – or Shin-chan – have any inkling of my wanton lust for him. He trusted me. We were friends. And I guess it was better than him hating me for being a fag.

Good thing for me my neighbor Mimi-chan seemed to have moved on too. I knew she started seeing a boy from her class.

And as for me, being Shin-chan's friend was enough.

I teased him for being so big, trying to sound as if that should make him feel awkward, and that he looked geeky with his thick rimmed glasses.

I always thought he should just ditch the glasses and go for contacts. And then one day, he actually did! I remembered he came to school looking odd and he always kept his face down. Then I noticed he wasn't wearing his glasses but colorless contacts.

"Shin-chan!" I remembered exclaiming. "Your eyes are sooo – sooo green."

He snapped at me, you know, that way when he was trying so hard to look mad at me but all he could do was just look more helpless because his face was so exposed. He was too adorable for words. Even when he was spitting mad at me.

I chuckled and yelled to our other male class mates. "Hey, guys! Shin-chan lost his glasses! I think he looks better without them!"

"Shut up, Takao," he snarled, hiding his face. He was really terribly shy and I wanted to make fun of him even more. Some of our boy classmates crowded around Shin-chan, teasing him and looking as surprised as I was how startlingly clear his emerald eyes looked without the hazy lenses of his glasses.

I knew Shin-chan was uncomfortable with the attention; he never really did well with people noticing him aside from playing basketball. I didn't know if it was just the bully in me or the fact that I wanted to see the play of emotions cross Shin-chan's face whenever he was at his most vulnerable.

He was a giant at six five, but no one would look more gentle, or precious to me.

The boys and I were having a good laugh teasing Midorima's somewhat girly face without his glasses on, but then some of our girl classmates also came over and began cooing over him, pawing him as if it was the first time they had ever seen a good looking guy before.

All at once a deep resentment came over me.

There I was starting the commotion but when the girls began eyeing him with interest I was the first one to give in to my petty jealousy. "Hey," I said to them cooly. "Let the guy breathe, would you?"

And by the end of class I made sure to accompany Shin-chan first thing to his ophthalmologist to have his glasses replaced.

Three years.

Three years of barely making it without completely losing my head over Midorima.

And now it was graduation.

Of course he would go to University of Tokyo in Bunkyo. Being a smart ass himself, no one ever doubted he could get into the most prestigious university in the whole of Japan. He never admitted to me, but I heard from the grapevine that he didn't even have to apply for a scholarship. He was immediately drafted by the basketball team with a full scholarship. Plus stipend. The school was going to give him a bloody allowance.

He really was an amazing guy.

I watched, heart in my throat, proudly, as my best friend and teammate walked up the stage for his certificate. He looked very handsome in his uniform.

I forgot the rest of the ceremony. I was staring at the top of Shin-chan's head most of the time. Being so tall, he towered everyone else even in their seats.

Our parents came to support us and share our achievements. But they went home earlier so that we could celebrate on our own.

Shin-chan and the rest of our classmates, our close friends and basketball teammates, went to sing at the nearest karaoke and got stuffed with all the junk food that we could eat. It was really fun. Some of my class mates would go to the universities of their choice, while others would stop schooling for a while and get part time jobs first.

It was really the end of high school.

That early March, one afternoon, Shin-chan and I trudged home slowly. There was a big grin on my face. Yeah, I knew we wouldn't go to the same school and of course I felt sad about it, yet I did try my best to get into the University of Tokyo. It just wasn't meant for me. But I couldn't help but feel excited that I was starting college next month. It was still something surreal for me.

We were both quiet on the walk home. I supposed he was excited in his own way, too.

Then Shin-chan spoke. "Fifty one minutes," he said softly.

I looked up. "Huh?"

"I read in Google map that it takes fifty one minutes to get from Bunkyo to Hachioji."

I stared at him, stupidly. "Hachioji?"

Shin-chan stared back at me. "Your school, stupid. It's in Hachioji, Tokyo, right?"

"Oh. Aaaahh – sorry, I'm still not that familiar with the place and everything. But yeah – really? Fifty one minutes? Okay."

He pushed the glasses up his nose and looked ahead of him as he walked. "Don't be a stranger, Takao."

I scratched my head, nodding. "Umm, yeah. I guess. If I need to copy your notes like I always did I'll surely come right over."

Wow, that was really a lovely thought. To think that Shin-chan would be kind enough to remind me we were still friends no matter the distance between us, it tugged at my heart strings.

Why wasn't I born a freaking girl? At that moment I didn't even care if I was born with the ugliest face, as long as I was a female who could confess her heart out to someone like Shin-chan.

I put my hands inside my pockets, hoping that my will was strong enough to stop me from what I wanted to do. I didn't think Shin-chan would find it amusing to be pulled down for a sloppy kiss in the middle of the streets.

We passed by his house first. He tilted his head towards me to say his goodbye and then he opened the gate of his house.

Before he could go inside completely I asked, "When are you moving to Bunkyo?"

"My father is hiring some movers. Maybe next week nanodayo."

"Ah, okay."

"I'll see you," Midorima said and finally went into their house.

Leaving me alone on the street watching him as he disappeared inside the door. It was the last time we would ever walk home together.

Next month we would be in different schools, play for different teams.

And Heaven forbid that we would actually face each other during the intercollegiate matches.

I shuddered, a bitter taste in my mouth.

But it couldn't be helped. It just couldn't. Our lives were moving forward and there was nothing left to do but to go with the flow.

Xxxxx

Okay. Maybe next chapter will be the last one. I just want to make this story short and sweet while I get my act together for Sinfully Yours.

So yeah. Hope you'll like this story.