A/N: I was bored and this happened while I was
avoiding writing about Yami and Vegas.
This is Kokuyo's thoughts
/This is thought speak between Kokuyo and Daisuke/
"Truth.", the dark haired teen muttered, downing two gulps of his alcohol as he
narrowed dark brown eyes at his other half across the table.
Daisuke merely grinned at Kokuyo, thinking up something, no doubt evil, to ask
him. Kokuyo eyed him warily, not really up to spilling his guts over the living
room floor, but not wanting to be dared into something foolish, either.
"You once said you liked Kai. Do you still like him or was it a passing thing?"
Daisuke questioned curiously, and the ex-viral swore he could see his eyes go a
little brighter at the thought of getting something good out of him.
"Passing thing. He reminded me of someone, so I liked him. And he hated your
idiot husband, so that's always a plus." He snorted, taking an un-required swig
from his bottle. "Though lately there is no shortence of people who hate him."
Daisuke threw a pillow at him while he snickered, giving him a pout. "Hidoi,
'kuyo! You know Ken-chan isn't all that bad, why do you keep picking on him so
much?" The hyperactive one frowned, truly wondering why Kokuyo couldn't just
move on and get over it.
His 'evil' half sighed heavily, setting the bottle of alcohol down. Seeing as
this game was only between the two of them, he supposed letting Daisuke know
wouldn't hurt.
Too much, anyway..
He shrugged "You really want to know, Daisuke?"
The other nodded.
"Fine. I'll tell you."
Daisuke leaned over eagerly, waiting impatiently and listening intently to what
Kokuyo was about to say.
"He stole my world, Daisuke. Every person in it, every thing that was a constant
in it.. He stole it all away from me, 'suke. For that, there can be no
forgiveness. Ever." He stated calmly, like this was something obvious and
clearly known by the general population.
He could literally feel the confusion that ran through Daisuke at his words, and
he allowed himself a small smirk at this. He really has no idea how much Ken
took, does he? No idea that his precious 'Ken-chan' can harm others more than
they harm him. You're so naïve sometimes, 'suke…
"But he hasn't… What.. Who has he stolen from you?" The burgundy-haired viral
wondered aloud, confusion thick in his voice.
Kokuyo stood up then, gesturing for Daisuke to follow, and together they walked
in silence through the winding halls of their home, arriving in the outside
area. There, Osamu and his Digimon were playing soccer… well sort of. Osamu
kicked the ball and tried to score a goal while his canine like partner did his
best to stop all attempts.
Kokuyo walked over and sat under a tree, Daisuke joining him, and together they
watched 'their' son play.
"You know, 'suke, the more I think about it, the more I realize that in some
sick way, Osamu is mine also. But only halfway and even then, almost not at
all." Kokuyo started conversationally, glancing at Daisuke out of the corner of
his eye.
Daisuke frowned and thought on this, nodding. "I suppose in the end, the Osamon
half of him is yours, isn't he?"
A nod. "Osamon.. I would suppose you'd call him mine and Kensumon's, in some odd
way, hn?"
The chosen child of Yuuki and Yuujou snapped his head to the side to look at
Kokuyo, shock apparent over his features. "Are you trying to tell me..?"
Kokuyo laughed aloud at this, shrugging his shoulders a little. "Kensumon is one
of the people, yes. We never really had a relationship but… I like him. A lot.
At least I did, I'm not sure anymore because I haven't spoken to him in a very
long time. I'm not even sure if he liked me, and at this point I'm sure
I'll never know about that. That's another thing I hate Ken for. He deprived me
of the opportunity to find out."
Daisuke's frown went deeper as he paused to take that all in, and Kokuyo could
feel his other try to sort it all out and make sense of it. "Who else do you
think he's taken from you?" Daisuke said finally after a couple of minutes.
"Neesan, of course. Not really taken so much as altered greatly over the years.
That's neechan's fault to, no doubt, but his as well." He shrugged, leaning back
against the tree with a yawn.
Daisuke rolled his eyes, punching Kokuyo playfully in the arm. "You know neesan
is a loony, she'd be ripping heads off if she didn't gradually change."
It was Kokuyo's turn to roll his own eyes. "And I happen to like her that way. I
like myself that way, too. There's another thing. I'm human now
because he's not bright enough to program another body to be a viral breed. How
hard can that be, honestly?"
The chocolate eyed one shrugged at this, honestly having no clue how hard it
would be. "You offered to be human, though." He pointed out reasonably.
"Yes well it would have been nice to be given further options, really.
'Merge, die, or be human'. I think I'll take human, thanks. I like being my own
person and I like being alive." Kokuyo snorted in disdain, watching Osamu's kick
sail cleanly into the net while his partner complained about missing it yet
again.
A thought occurred to Daisuke and Kokuyo frowned at it before he even put words
to it. "You love Shin, though, why would you be bitter about Kensumon?"
The ex-viral sighed heavily, trying to think of a way to put this that didn't
sound.. well bad. "I chose to like Kensumon. He was my type, after all,
and I agreed with his ways and views. Shin.. I don't know why I'm in love with
her. I don't understand her as well as I think you should understand someone
you're in love with. I didn't really want to love her, even when I knew I was
falling for her." He frowned, thinking of how to go on, "But I'm told love does
that to you a lot. Being in love with her.. I like it when I'm around
her, but I resent it when we're apart. I feel like I've done the last thing to
make me as least like my old self. And I miss my old self; I would go back to
that self in a heart beat, because I actually liked myself then."
/Then why are you with her if you resent loving her?!/ Confusion was
clear in Daisuke's mental 'voice', anger also underlying it all.
/Because she makes me happy, Daisuke. Happier than anyone else has. I can't
just 'stop' loving her, even though sometimes I might want to. I'm content when
I'm with her, and I would go very far for her, but it doesn't mean I have to
like how soft I've become for the sake of one person./ Kokuyo retorted, a
bit bitterly, to his other half.
This caused Daisuke to fall silent, both mentally and verbally, once again.
Kokuyo could feel the shape of his thoughts vaguely, but having been far away
from him for an extended period had weakened their mind sharing some.
"So you love her, but you don't like that you love her. Am I getting this
right?" Daisuke questioned, unsure he was getting the real point out of this
conversation.
"I love her, I like loving her, but I resent the fact I both love and like
loving her. Does that make any sense to you?"
The viral shook his head. "No. It really doesn't, Kokuyo."
"Well then. I suppose I'm not meant to make sense to anyone but myself." Kokuyo
shrugged, choking it all up to some very bad cosmic karma he had going for
himself.
I think it's part of what our father programmed into us, perhaps. Except Daisuke
seems to have stolen the good karma. This is probably Ken's fault, too, damned
Motomiya.
Daisuke sighed and shook his head again, giving up understanding his other half.
"If you say so. Is there anything else you blame Ken-chan for?"
He snorted, "Plenty of things, but the list gets tedious and long and I don't
feel like reciting the rest. Those are the important ones, in any case."
The Ichijouji nodded in some form of understanding, the two of them going silent
as they watched the two play on the soccer field.
/I'm sorry you've apparently lost so much, 'kuyo, even though I still can't
fully agree with you blaming Ken-chan for all of it./
/I figured you'd say something like that. It's all right. I'll grow used to
it and pretend to enjoy it all eventually./
Daisuke could feel the sarcasm and rolled his eyes.
/You should tell Ken-chan why you hate him so much, you know. I don't think
he has a clue why you do./
Kokuyo snorted /And have him laugh at me? Are you insane? No, he doesn't care
why I hate him. You never care why someone hates you when you hate them in
return./
/He has every reason to hate you, you body snatching weirdo./
Kokuyo flicked an eye in his direction. /Just because I released neesan a few
times and wrecked havoc and stole his wife's body, and tried to get Kensumon to
take his, he still has no reason to hate me. He shouldn't hold such grudges./
Daisuke laughed aloud, nudging Kokuyo a bit. /Baka. It's a very good reason
to hate you. I forgive you, though, because I've seen enough to know you won't
try anything like that again./
/Ch'. That's what you think./
/Is that so?/
/I'm just biding my time./
"Well then, I'll put an end to it now!" Daisuke exclaimed before pouncing on
Kokuyo, rolling down the hill and fighting with him in an attempt to pin the
other down, which eventually turned into a long sparring match between the two.
Osamu, having finished playing soccer, just rolled his eyes at his mothers.
"Mou, I swear, they are such children."
His partner nodded in agreement. "And they say we're bad!"
