To Love You
Disclaimer: Like I would ever own Weiß Kreuz. This simple Aya/Sakura fic was written for the 30 Kisses community on LiveJournal, and the themes are #4 - our distance and that person, #5 - "hey, you know…", #21 - violence; pillage/plunder; extortion, #26 - if only I could make you mine, and #30 - kiss.Love wasn't as easy as the movies made it seem. For Fujimiya Aya, love was possibly the most complicated emotion he had ever felt. He knew whom he loved; that wasn't what puzzled him. It was the fact that he was in love that bothered him.
Maybe "bothered" wasn't the right word, Aya thought as he reached out and touched a blooming red rose. Love wasn't such a horrible emotion. But it was a burden that he didn't want. He had told her that he didn't deserve to be loved. That was true. He had told her that he didn't return her feelings. That was a lie.
Aya was in love with Tomoe Sakura. He wanted her love, and he honestly wanted to love her. If only he could make her his…
What a selfish desire. Murderers like him weren't supposed to love or be loved.
"Hey Aya, there are customers waiting to be served," Ken said, coming up behind Aya and laying his hand on the redhead's shoulder.
"Sorry," Aya apologized, not really meaning it. He brushed Ken's hand off his shoulder. "I was just lost in thought."
"About what?" Ken asked, glancing at the rose that Aya was lightly touching.
Aya let out a heavy sigh. "I hate killing people," he admitted. The words were out of his mouth before he could even think about them. "I hate having all this blood on my hands. I hate not regretting it. I say I'm protecting the good in this world, but I only kill for money. I'm just as corrupt as those I kill. Still, I want to be…" He trailed off. It wasn't like him to reveal his feelings like that. Maybe he really was that desperate for change. He quickly shook his head and pushed that thought out of his mind. "Forget what I said. I'm not feeling well," he lied.
Ken said nothing for a minute, and then said, "Aya, everyone deserves a little bit of happiness. You don't have to be ashamed of wanting happiness." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sakura outside the flower shop. "I need to talk to Sakura."
Aya watched intently as Ken left the shop. He knew it was rude to eavesdrop, but he wanted to know why Ken suddenly wanted to talk with Sakura. He opened the door just slightly so that neither Ken nor Sakura would notice. He then pressed his back against the wall and peered outside.
"Hello, Ken-san," Sakura greeted cheerfully.
"Hi," Ken replied, smiling. "Hey, you know-" his voice dropped to a whisper, but Aya could still hear every word, "-that Aya loves you, right?"
Before Sakura had a chance to respond, Aya had thrown open the door in anger. "Ken, what the hell are you doing?" he yelled, his face red from rare embarrassment and fury.
Both Ken and Sakura seemed to be at a loss for words. Ken opened his mouth a few times, but no words came out. Sakura didn't even try to speak; she was probably still taking in what Ken had told her. Aya was growing impatient. Well, that was the last time he ever spilled out his feelings to Ken, he decided firmly. But, he never did mention that he loved Sakura. So his feelings really were that obvious. Still, Ken didn't have to go and tell Sakura.
Although, maybe Ken was just trying to help. He was Aya's friend, and like any friend, he only wanted to see a close friend happy.
Aya took a deep breath to calm himself. He would deal with Ken later. Right now he had to tell Sakura something he had wanted to tell her for a long time. "Ken, please leave me alone with Sakura," he ordered gently.
Ken nodded, seemingly relived for a chance to get away. He was quickly out of sight.
Aya laid his hands on Sakura's shoulders. "Well, thanks to Ken, you now know how I feel about you," he began.
"So, Ken-san was telling the truth?" Sakura said, finding it difficult to look Aya in the eyes.
"He isn't cruel enough to joke about something like that," Aya reassured. He then inhaled another deep breath. "Sakura, I'm a selfish bastard. I'm a murderer, and murderers don't deserve love. But still, I want you to be mine."
Slowly, Sakura raised her hands and gripped Aya's arms. "You're not a murderer," she believed, her voice quiet. "You don't kill for no reason, and you don't enjoy killing." She lifted her head and stared straight into Aya's eyes. "I still believe in you. Aya-san, you're a kind person, and there's always hope for you."
Hints of a smile appeared on Aya's face. "Maybe this love is wrong. But if you can still love me, even after learning the truth about me, maybe I can give love a shot."
Before Sakura could smile, Aya had bent over and had pressed his lips against hers. He had never thought much about kissing; it had seemed as foreign as love. Maybe there were people who could show their love without kisses, but Aya didn't know any other way to truly express his love for Sakura.
This kiss was definitely special. Aya wondered if this was the kind of kiss that could only be shared between two who were truly in love. He hoped that was true. He wanted this love to be real. He wasn't a desperate person who would take anybody. Sakura was special, and Aya knew that she truly loved him. He honestly wanted to return that love, and he believed that he did.
Finally, they broke the kiss. Sakura smiled as Aya gently stroked her cheek with his pleasantly warm fingertips. "That was nice," she thought aloud. "Aya-san, I love you and I want to make you mine, too. You're not selfish at all. I'm glad Ken-san was able to close the distance between us."
"So am I." Aya tenderly pulled Sakura into his arms and she wrapped her arms about his back. "Sakura, I love you," he whispered into her ear. "Please, keep hoping for me."
"I will," Sakura promised, and Aya's smile became slightly more obvious. And once again, they proved their love with a kiss.
