(Original posted on my tumblr)
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Kurt/Sam (Kum/Hevans)
Disclaimer: Not my show, or characters, sorry.
Rating: PG
Description: After something private that Sam has written about Kurt goes public Sam is humiliated and runs to the bathroom and Kurt decides to follow.
Warnings: A lot of angst.
Author notes: Though Sam struggles with Dyslexia I still had this idea of Sam trying to write some sort of poem, or song as a way to get his feelings down on paper. Even though technically I don't think him having Dyslexia would stop him none the less anyway.
It felt as if his heart dropped in his stomach, he could barely breath as the only sound that filled the room was laughter. Over the sound of laughter, he heard his heart race. It sounded like a hallow drum being slammed right against his ear. He felt sick to his stomach as he got up from his desk and began to jog towards the direction of the door. As he was leaving the room his eyes met Kurt's gaze who was sitting in the room, his eyes sparkled as the hit the light while looking up into his eyes. It was the look of pity. Sam closed his eyes as a single tear went down his face and bowed his head low as he ran past Kurt and out into the hallway.
Why did someone want to humiliate him so badly? He didn't know how they did it, or even who did it. Someone had apparently was able to get a hold of his notebook that had many things written in it— a song he was writing about the many promises he had to Kurt if he was ever able to be his man and of how gorgeous he was. How stupid he was of writing about his glorious porcelain and his alluring eyes. His promises of how if he were to be his of how he would hold his hand whether in class, or in the hallways. To kiss those redden lips no matter whoever was looking. He was a coward and he missed his chance. He couldn't tell Kurt of his feelings. He didn't want to ruin his happiness with Blaine. No one must have known, especially him. Now not only he knows, but the whole school knows. The person had to reveal his secret over the intercom.
As he swung the door open, he ran over to the last stall slamming it shut and locking it. He was panting as he was crying over the humiliation that was pouring out of him. Slowly he slide against the wall of the stall and eased downward until he was sitting, pulling his knees against his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "Sam?" He heard a voice call out, he knew it to be the voice of Kurt Hummel. Maybe if he stayed quiet he would go away. How did he actually know he went in here? "I saw you come in here." He sighed, of course where else would he go.
"Go away, Kurt!" He shouted back at him as he cling onto himself for dear life, his heart racing even more (if that was even possible) knowing that Kurt was in his presence. Sam held his breath as he saw Kurt's feet appear at the opening of the bottom of the stall.
"Just open up, Sam please." There was a slight quiver in his voice, almost begging. He wondered of what Kurt's face looked like, what he was doing. Was he pressing his face against the cool door of the stall, or was just his soft, delicate hand?
"No." Sam sounded weak and quiet as he said these words, he barely sounded audible.
"I'll crawl through." Kurt threatened and Sam immediately chuckled, he wondered if Kurt was caught off guard by this since he couldn't see his face.
"That's a bluff. You wouldn't get on your knees and crawl wearing your Marc Jacobs. You just got it straight off the line. You always tell me that I don't know where these floors have been whenever I sit on the ground." Sam sounded a little more confident this time.
"Fine, I guess I will have to—." As Kurt said these words Sam suddenly began to see Kurt's hands appear at the bottom. His hands being pressed on the floor and immediately Sam got up.
"Okay— I'll let you in!" Sam shouted in frustration, God why did he have to be so weak around Kurt. His hands immediately disappeared and Sam unlocked the door and slowly swung it open.
As he met Kurt's gaze his eyes immediately fell to the ground as Kurt stepped forward, Sam held his breath for a moment, but finally decided to breath after a few seconds. "You don't have to be embarrassed with me. I—I know it must have been humiliating."
"Thanks." Sam quickly snapped back as he looked up at Kurt.
"What else am I supposed to say? Besides… You don't have to feel that way towards me. I actually thought it was sort of sweet a-and romantic." Kurt sounded quiet, it was almost like a whisper when he was speaking. As he spoke he seemed to play with his finger tips. His eyes almost looked like diamonds with how the light reflected off of them, currently they were pale blue, it was almost as if they were ice. Sam couldn't seem to stop staring and he guessed Kurt noticed since all of a sudden he heard him call out, "Sam, Sam?"
"Sorry— distracted." Sam mumbled.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Kurt asked as he stepped in closer. He seemed so close now, close enough to touch. Sam felt the urge to take his hand out and touch his arm, brush his hand across his cheek— something, but he did nothing.
"I just— you went away and then you came back, but by then you with Blaine. It was just too late." Sam said quickly, he sort of panted after he spoke even though he didn't say much. He was just in a rush it seemed, he was so nervous and felt panic. "Blaine wasn't right for you, but I didn't want to ruin everything you had with him. I want you to be happy. I don't want to be like the other guys— like Finn, a-and trying to ruin everything y-you know?" He struggled through, he didn't know what to really say, or how to express himself.
"Why didn't you speak sooner? Say something?" Kurt asked, his voice broke a little. Was he going to cry?
"I didn't know— I was so confused. A-and when you left…" Sam paused and thought of the best way to say what he felt. "It was if—." He thought again. "You know, you don't appreciate what you have until it's gone." He finished.
"But I'm with Blaine now." Kurt reminded of him, he looked away from Sam now. It was almost as if he couldn't look at him anymore. What did he do?
"You don't have to remind me of that Kurt— I know." Sam told him coldly, it hurt a little that Kurt actually had to say it. He knew he was with Blaine, he didn't need to be reminded of how he was too late.
"I'm sorry, Sam. Some feelings were there… Sometimes when I'd visit you in the Motel room…" Kurt began, a tear slowly eased down his face. "I'd felt so guilty that I began to have feelings for you."
"What more a reason to finally be with me and not Blaine!" Sam said as he grabbed onto Kurt's shoulders and then suddenly felt Kurt pull away from him quickly. If Sam's heart wasn't breaking before, it sure was now. He never felt so rejected as Kurt escaped his grasp.
"I can't just break up with Blaine to be with you, what kind of person would I be? What kind of boyfriend am I anyway to having feelings for another boy?" Kurt said as more tears rolled on his cheeks.
"But you didn't act on them." Sam reassured Kurt, he slowly risen a hand up, but then gently placed it back down on his side to stop himself from further humiliation and rejection.
"Sorry Sam I have to go, you're too late." Kurt sniffed as he backed away slowly and began to walk towards the door.
The door slammed shut as Sam whispered, "But I love you."
