Title: Making decisions
Author: AyLee Cambell
Rating: PG-13 for language
Pairings/Character: Rachel/Puck. There is some mention of the Jesse/Rachel and some slight Finn/Rachel but I'm a total Puckelberry fan so no worries.
Warnings: Up to Funk, just to be safe. Funk and Theatricality mostly, and the preview for Regional's. Not Beta'd.
Summary: Before they go on to perform at regional's a lot happens. Decisions are made, and a few truths come out. Pretty much what happened was I saw the previews and saw Rachel kissing Finn, and decided that wasn't going to work for me, so this happened instead.
AN: This quarter of school is almost done! Yay! And I'm taking the summer off, so that's even better! Hopefully now I'll get time to write since work and school will no longer be competing for my time. It's been so long since I've posted a glee fic. (Not since I've written one but all my other fics aren't finished.)
This plot bunny bit me and sunk it's teeth in deep and refused to let go until I wrote it completely out. So here I am, sitting at work while I should be working on my final projects for school or doing work that I need to be doing. But instead I'm writing. So hope everyone enjoys this!
Rachel didn't mean to kiss Finn, really, she didn't. But they were standing in the hallway of the school that regional's was being held and she thought she saw Jesse and she panicked.
It wasn't one of her brightest ideas, not even in the top ten and she regretted it even as she lunged forward but couldn't stop herself in time.
Finn's arms wrapped around her, but Rachel put a hand on his chest and pushed him away.
"Rachel?" Finn said, in a confused voice his face getting that lost puppy dog look that said he was trying hard to figure out what was wrong but he just couldn't do it.
"I'm sorry. I can't. I know I was the one who kissed you, but it isn't right. I didn't kiss you because I want to be in a relationship with you, but because I panicked. I thought I saw Jesse and my brain didn't think, instead I just kissed you. I'm sorry Finn, I shouldn't have done that."
Finn's face cleared of his confused look only to go into his hurt puppy dog look. Rachel got lost for a moment, trying to think of exactly how many of his facial expressions reminded her of puppies when he started to talk and she snapped out of that line of thought to pay attention to him.
"You were only using me, again, to get back at Jesse? Rachel I can't believe you would do that to me!" Finn exploded standing up and starting to pace back and forth. "Why are you always hurting me? I thought you were different, I thought you actually cared about me! But you're just the same as-" Finn stopped, realizing what he was going to say.
Rachel glared, standing up and straightening her spine so that she was as tall as possible. She wanted to make sure he heard every word that she told him.
"What were you going to say? I'm just the same as Quinn? Was that it? Because that's not fair to me or to Quinn. Besides, if I'm acting like anyone, I'm acting like you did."
Finn opened his mouth to protest but Rachel just narrowed her eyes at him and continued speaking.
"When you were dating Quinn, that's exactly how you treated me, only worse. You used me, lied to me, hurt me, and then tried to tell me that you were different. Then when we started dating you decided you didn't want me and I moved on, but you couldn't handle that since the moment I was taken you decided you did want me again but I didn't go running back to you that time, instead I told you that I just wanted to be friends, but you kept pushing it, kept telling me how great we could be together when I had a boyfriend. I'm not like you Finn, I don't cheat on the people I'm dating! So yes, I am sorry I kissed you, but I told you I was sorry and that I panicked and that I realized it was wrong of me to so! You need to stop acting like everything I do is me trying to hurt you!" Rachel took a breath and paused for a moment but when Finn opened his mouth she continued before he could speak.
"I want to be your friend, but I honestly think that after everything, a relationship between us just wouldn't work. Maybe being friends is all we can have. We just keep hurting each other and I'm pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to work."
Finn opened and closed his mouth. "Maybe that's for the best. At least for right now. We just can't seem to get it right can we?" He asked, sounding sad.
Rachel slumped her shoulders, all the anger leaving her. "We keep trying to, but we haven't been able to. Maybe all we're supposed to be is friends. At least for now, who knows in the future? Maybe someday we'll be able to get it right. But until then can we still be friends?" Rachel asked, looking at him with wide and pleading eyes.
Finn paused for a moment then nodded slowly. "Yeah, we can still be friends. Though it might be a little weird for awhile. I've gotta get over any feelings I have about you that aren't completely friendly so…" Finn said shrugging.
"But." Finn started, focusing on her. "What you just said to me? I didn't mean to hurt you, and some of it was pretty harsh. Especially coming from you Rach, but you were right. I did do that to you, and I needed to hear that. But I didn't mean to hurt you, or use you or lie, it just happened." He told her, shoving his hands into his pockets and squaring his shoulders.
"I know, and I've forgiven you for it. I know you didn't mean it. It's just, I didn't mean to either and when you went off on me for it, it just came out." Rachel said, embarrassed.
"Well, maybe you should start letting it. We all tend to yell at you a little bit and you never calls on the crap we do to you. Maybe you should. Maybe then everyone would start to realize how much you do for us. And if you could do that instead of telling us all the mistakes we're making, we'd probably be a little less mad at you all the time because it's true and they'd know it."
Rachel laughed softly. "I'll try to remember that. Maybe I'll have to try that instead and see."
Finn smiled a little. "Yeah, that'd be fun to see."
"Friends?" Rachel asked and Finn nodded.
"Friends." He said and pulled her into a hug. With a sad sigh he accepted that maybe it was the best thing for them both.
"So are you and Finnessa back together again?" Puck asked as Rachel walked by him.
Rachel turned to look at him. "What, no." She says, the continues. "Finn and I have decided that for the foreseeable future we would be better as friends and only friends."
"Haven't we all heard that one before? I give it a week before you two are circling around each other again." Puck said, picking at his tie. It was tied slightly wrong so he huffed and undid it, ready to try to get it right this time.
"Let me." Rachel said, stepping close and taking the two ends of the tie from him.
Puck watched her work. "So?" He prompts. "You and Finn?"
"Finn and I are just friends, and it's going to stay that way. Even a week from now. Every time we try to date we just end up hurting each other, and we decided that we work better as friends. So that's how it's going to be." Rachel said concentrating on getting the tie perfect.
"So how did you decide this? Cause yesterday Finn was all ready to be your boyfriend and today you two have decided to be friends? That shit doesn't make sense." He told her and smirked when she glared at him for cursing.
"Noah, cursing is a sign of poor language skills. As someone who knows what your vocabulary is capable of I'm a little disappointed that you continue to use swearing as appropriate word choices." Rachel said, pausing from his tie to look up at him.
Puck rolled his eyes. "Yeah, not many people are aware of my vocab skills, babe, and I would like to keep it that way. Besides, swearing may not be appropriate but it's fun as hell. Which you might know if you tried it once in awhile." He teased her.
Rachel pulled his tie tight, just a little too tight and he choked.
"Hey! Need to breathe!" He gasped, pulling it out of her hands and loosening the tie.
"No need to kill me cause I refuse to clean the language up." He joked.
"Noah! I didn't mean too!" Rachel said, shocked. "I just pulled and it went too tight. If you had given me a moment I would have fixed it!"
"Yeah, and probably cut all my air off." He said and Rachel smacked him on the shoulder lightly.
"I would not have!" She protested smiling a little when she realized that he was joking with her and not actually serious.
"But seriously, what made you change your mind about Finn being the perfect boyfriend for you?" Puck asked, wanting to know the answer.
Rachel sighed and leaned against the nearest wall. Puck followed her over and crowded her space.
"Berry?" Puck questioned, wondering if he was going to have to mess up the small truce he and Finn had going at the moment to kick Hudson's ass.
You know, after they performed on stage. He's pretty sure Rachel would kill him if he did anything before they performed.
"I kissed Finn. We were talking, and I thought I saw Jesse and I panicked and kissed Finn. I realized it was a mistake as I was making it, but it was too late to stop. I pushed him away and told him and he yelled at me and then I yelled back and then we just figured it out. We're not meant to be more then friends. It shouldn't be that hard if you're meant to be together. I'm not saying it should be easy, but we shouldn't be hurting each other all the time." Rachel said.
Puck leaned in closer, his arms on either side of her.
"You know, if you want to make out with me to get back at Jesse, I'm okay with that. I'm not going to yell at you about it." He said and down at her.
Rachel smiled and laughed a little.
"No, I didn't think you'd have a problem about it, but I don't want to use someone just to get back at Jesse and if I kissed someone for that reason that's what it would mean. I want it to mean something." Rachel said and looked at him.
"What if did." Puck asked, loosing his smile and getting serious. "What if it would mean something else?"
Rachel and Puck stared at each other, neither looking away.
"What do you mean?" She asked, confused but hoping that he was being serious and not playing with her. But he had been acting different around her the last few days, so maybe he was being serious.
"It wasn't so bad, you know. When we went out. Apart from you breaking up with me we actually went pretty well together. We were two good looking Jews. It wasn't hard being with you, being around you. I actually really enjoyed it, especially the making out part. Even if I didn't get any boob action."
Rachel smiled a little. "You tried sneaking some 'boob action' in." She pointed out.
"Well, yeah, of course I did. I'm a guy, baby, a badass guy. I'm going to try. But I wouldn't force you or anything. No means no, I just figured if you didn't want me to touch you'd let me know or just move my hands or shit. Like you did last time." He told her, leaning a little bit closer.
So far this talk wasn't turning out too badly.
"I know. You didn't push me last time we dated, and you could have. That speaks very highly of your character." Rachel said.
"Rach." Puck said, staring at her, knowing she was going to go off on a tangent unless he stopped her now.
"Right." Rachel said, taking a breath. "So what does this mean, what do you want?" She asked, wanting to know what he was thinking before she started to tell him what her feelings were.
"I want to try again." Puck admitted, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I never really wanted to be in a serious relationship, until I was in one with you." Puck said and when she didn't say anything he huffed a little and looked away.
"This feelings crap isn't easy for me. But I don't say shit that I don't mean. I want to try with you Rachel, I have since we were up in your room together. Why the hell do you think I did that stupid video? I might screw this up, and we might not be right for each other, but I want to try. So?" He asked, focusing back on her.
"So." Rachel started then stopped and licked her lips, nervous. She ignored how he focused on her lips for a moment before meeting her eyes again.
She thought about it for a moment. Thought about how he made her feel. There was a feeling of comfort when she was with him, as if she could be her whole self and let down her guards around him and he wouldn't judge her like everyone else did, that he would understand her better than anyone else could. They both had so much in common and the attraction was definitely there.
Ever since they had dated she had regretted breaking up with him, for not giving them the chance to see if it could have changed into something that was just about them instead of wanting other people. She had grown to have feelings for him, but had let the ones she thought she had for Finn overshadow them and then with everything with Quinn and the baby she had believed that he didn't feel that way towards her.
"I want to give us a chance." Rachel said and watched him smile. But she wasn't done yet. "But I'm warning you, I just got out of a relationship in which the boy I was dating was playing with me. I'm going to need you to be serious, and honest. If you stop liking me or want to break up with me then you have to tell me. I can't handle anyone playing with my feelings, even if they don't mean to." Rachel told him.
"I'm pretty blunt and honest, babe, I don't think you'll have to worry about me telling you what you want to hear instead of what the truth is." Puck said. "But, I'm not going to be perfect. I'm probably going to mess up, so call me on my shit. If you don't like something or you think something might make me mad, you need to still tell me. No lying and no hiding things, or feelings, or secrets. I can't do that."
Rachel laughed and smiled at him. "I find it funny that because of the failures of our personal relationships. With friends, and family, and other ex's, that we may actually be what's best for each other since it seems like we want the same things in a relationship."
"See, told you we went pretty well together. We fit. Two hot Jews." Puck said, leaning down.
"So we're dating?" Rachel asked, just to make it perfectly clear.
"Yep. I'll take you to dinner tomorrow night." Puck told her.
"Good." Rachel said, and then she angled up and kissed him.
"So when and how do you want to tell everyone we're back together? I say we just start making out in the corner of the room and see how long it takes them until they get it." Puck teased her, smirking.
Rachel smacked him gently, but she was smiling.
"I think we should probably do something a little less obvious then that. Besides they probably wouldn't get that we were dating but would like it was a mental collapse due to the close time of our performance today. Besides, while Finn and I have decided that we would be better off as friends, I'm not sure how well he will react to our sudden reconciliation, especially in the way you wish to do it."
Puck took a moment to move on from the fact that she had just said 'do it' and focused on what she said.
"What's Finn have to do with this? You said you just wanted to be friends with him!" Puck protested, hoping that they hadn't just gotten together for it to end because she re-realized her feelings for Finn.
"And that is all I want with him! What I was trying to get at, was that if we came out now to everyone in the wrong way, it might damage the fragile truce you have going with Finn at the moment. I don't want to ruin your chance at having Finn be your friend again because he's mad that we're together so quickly after he and I have decided to be only friends." Rachel said, trying to explain.
"Oh." Puck said, getting it. She wasn't worried about Finn's reaction because of any feelings she was harboring for the Frankenteen, but worried about Finn's reaction to him.
"Look, babe, as much as I love that you're thinking of me, I don't want to hide this. I don't think keeping this a secret would be a good thing and I want everyone to know you're my girl again, that you're off limits. Finn's going to have to accept it, and if he doesn't want to be friends again because of it then we're not friends. I'm not going to kiss his ass hoping that we're good. I'll talk to him about it. But I'm not going to let him choose who I can and can't be with and hold our friendship ransom like that." Puck told her.
"So no keeping this a secret, and no trying to hide it." Rachel said and smiled at him.
"Nope." Puck said and pulled her to him. "But I should probably tell Finn before we tell anyone else."
"That would be wise. Did you want me there too, or did you want to talk to him alone?" Rachel asked.
"Alone. That way he doesn't see it coming and get mad. He still might get mad, but at least I'd have the chance to actually say something first." Puck told her, then leaned down to kiss her.
They were interrupted by a cough a few minutes later. Both pulled away and looked at who interrupted them. When they saw who it was both scowled.
"What do you want?" Puck demanded, pulling Rachel closer to him and glaring at Jesse St. Dickwad.
"I wanted to talk to Rachel, in private, for a few minutes. There are a few things we need to discuss and sort out. Things that are just between her and I. Things I'm sure you wouldn't understand." Jesse said, a small smirk on his face.
"Listen you-" Puck started, arms dropping from Rachel and moving a step closer towards Jesse. Rachel pushed him back.
"If you fight now we'll be disqualified. He isn't worth it Noah." Rachel said, her arms going around his waste. Puck wrapped his arms around her again.
"No, he isn't worth it." Puck growled out, still glaring at Jesse. "Now go away, St. cocksucker, we were busy."
"I could see that, and I just need a moment, but if you actually think this ruse is going to work on me-" Jesse started but Rachel cut him off from the long winded speech he was most likely going to try to make.
"Jesse, I really don't care what you have to say or if you believe what's happening between Noah and I is all a ruse, even though we are in a secluded hallway and hidden from most people's views and not out in the open like we would probably be if this was all for show." Rachel said and paused so he could realize she was right.
"Furthermore, I am not going anywhere with you, especially not alone. I have absolutely no interest in hearing anything you have to say. If you had something you wished to say to me, maybe you should have said it in the parking lot instead of ambushing me with all your teammates and pelting me with those poor baby eggs. We're done with each other. We were done the moment you transferred back to Vocal Adrenaline without telling me and we were absolutely finished with no chance for reconciliation the moment you cracked an egg on my forehead. So leave me alone Jesse, don't call me, don't try to talk to me, and don't sing to me. Hopefully today is the last time I will ever have to see you for the rest of our lives. As clichéd as it is, I am going to have to say that anything sooner then that would be far too soon."
"Damn Rach, that was awesome." Puck praised, lifting her up a little and kissing her briefly on the lips before he turned to look at Jesse.
"Hey, St. Douche. We may have gone easy on you after the whole egg incident because Mr. Schue made us, but come near my girl again, and I guarantee no one will catch us when we rip you apart."
"You'd get caught, you and you're goon squad aren't smart enough to plan out something like that and the moment you touched me I'd have you up on charges. So go ahead and try." Jesse told him.
"I wouldn't tell Noah that if I were you. While Noah and the rest of the boys in glee club are perfectly able to plot out your physical demise without getting caught or leaving proof behind that would lead to them I guarantee that if they if any of them decide to go after you or any member of your group that the rest of the girls and I will fully help them plan out a perfect way to do so and make sure that they have a solid alibi for the time in question." Rachel told Jesse.
Jesse's jaw clenched and he turned and walked away, ignoring the "That was so hot, baby," he heard come from behind him. He also ignored any sounds that even remotely sounded like two people kissing or in anyway touching.
After another ten minutes of awesome making out Rachel had pulled away and told Puck that they probably should head back to their dressing room, and that Puck should probably find Finn before Jesse thought to find him and tell him what he had saw before Puck could explain.
So Rachel went back into the dressing room assigned to them and Puck grabbed Finn and dragged him out to a hallway that was far enough away that no one from New Directions would be able to see or hear them.
"Look, Finn, I need to tell you something. You're probably not going to like it either but I didn't plan to-"
"Puck you knocked up my girlfriend without planning it. This probably isn't the best way to tell me whatever it is that you did." Finn interrupted him.
Puck winced and rubbed his head. "Yeah, that's true." He sighed and leaned against the wall. "Me and Rach decided to give dating each other another try. It just now happened, and I know-"
"Son of a bitch" Finn cursed.
Puck stared at him. "So I guess that means you hate me again." He said and wanted to look away but didn't. If Finn was going to punch him, he wanted to see it coming.
"Yes, no, I don't know man." Finn said and slid down to the ground and leaned against the wall opposite Puck. Puck mirrored him, sitting down as well.
"We didn't plan it." Puck said, shrugging. "We were talking and then-" Puck stopped, making a gesture with his hand that means both nothing and that it's unexplainable.
"You never plan it." Finn said. Then looked at Puck. "Same thing happened to me, only we decided we were better off as friends. I'm just admitting it's better that Rachel and I are friends. You couldn't have waited a week?" Finn asked.
"Not really. We could have kept it a secret and told you in a week but I didn't like that. I don't want to lie about and I don't want to lie to you anymore. It's been sucky without my best friend. I know you probably hate me for this too, but that doesn't change anything. You're my friend or you're not, but I'm still gonna date her." Puck told him.
Finn looked down, trying to gather his thoughts. Puck watched him nervously. He wanted his friend back, but it almost felt wrong to hope that it would happen. He already felt pretty lucky over the whole Rachel thing, and now it felt like he was almost pushing that luck.
"Dude." Puck snapped after five minutes of silence.
"I'm thinking!" Finn snapped back.
"Think quicker dude, we've got shit to do, and if any of them come looking for us and tell Rachel, Kurt, or Mercedes that we were sitting in our glee clothes, they'll kill us." Puck reasoned.
"Alright." Finn said and stood up, and Puck stood up too.
No way was he going to let Frankenteen have that much of a height advantage over him if Finn decided he hated him.
"I miss having you for a friend. I hate how everything happened and I lost everyone, and everything. You, Quinn, Drizzle. Now with my mom and Kurt's dad dating and the move and the not-move, and getting rid of all my dad's stuff, I'm tired of loosing everything. Me and Rachel are friends, me and you just got back to being friends. I don't want to loose that again. I think it'll be a little bit weird for a while, but I think I could get used to seeing you two together." Finn said and held out his hand.
The two guys smiled at each other and did the secret handshake they came up with when they were 7 and hardly ever did in public anymore cause it just wasn't cool enough.
"Don't hurt her though, she's been through a lot. If you're not serious about Rachel, then don't date her." Finn told him, serious. "I can deal with you two dating, but this can't be some game or you wanting to hit that."
Puck nodded. "I'm serious dude. I just, it's Rachel, you know? I can be myself around her. I'm still all badass, but I don't have to be, you know?"
"Yeah, I know. She just excepts people for who they are." Finn said.
"So we gonna go get ready for this? Rock the house and beat Vocal Adrenaline?" Finn asked and Puck smirked.
"They'll be crying to their momma's." Puck said.
The two started walking back to their dressing room.
Before they made it very far they saw Shelby and Mr. Schue walking towards each other and headed to the two adults.
Puck stepped into Shelby's way, making her stop and look at him. Finn noticed Mr. Schue frown but the teacher didn't say anything as he came up behind them.
"Listen, I know your Rachel's mom and everything, and that you chickened out on stepping up and acting like a real mother would, but you know what? I think I'm actually glad that you had nothing to do Rachel for most her life. I would hate to think about what she would have turned out to be with a soulless heartless mother like you shaping who she was. Cause if you had any maternal instincts you wouldn't have let them do what they did to her. It shows how little you care and how much you're not capable of caring about anyone who isn't you or your soulless team of machine sheep." Puck told Shelby.
"Puck, that's enough." Mr. Schue told him, pushing him gently away and asking Finn to take Puck back to the dressing room their school had been assigned.
"Sure, Mr. Schue." Finn said, then turned to look at Shelby. "But Puck's right. I think we're all thankful that Rachel didn't have to suffer you for a mom. We kinda like her as she is, you know? Soul attached, and nice."
Both boys grinned at each other and walked away. But they could hear Schue and Shelby talking behind them and so they ducked out of sight but stayed in earshot. They wanted to see what the wicked witch had to say.
"Sorry about that. They're just being protective of Rachel, especially after what happened. They may have gone too far in trying to make their point, but honestly, how could you allow Vocal Adrenaline, your own team, to do that to your daughter? Even if you're not in each other's lives, I thought you cared about Rachel." Will said.
"What were they talking about, what are you talking about?" Shelby questioned, getting angry.
"I do care about Rachel!" She protested then realized what he had said. "What did my team do to her?" She asked.
"You didn't know?" Will asked. "A few days after the tire incident, Jesse called Rachel and asked her to meet him in the parking lot, where your team threw eggs at her. Rachel's a vegan, so it was doubly cruel to her. We thought you knew."
"My team threw eggs on my vegan daughter?" Shelby repeated, staring at him with a blank face.
"Yes." Will said slowly. "I was able to convince my glee kids from reacting violently to it, but as you can see, they are still a little mad about it. I'll let Rachel know that you didn't have anything to do with it, I'm sure she'll be glad to know that."
"I've got to go. Please let Rachel know that if I had known what they were planning I would have never allowed it. I do care about her, even if I'm not ready to be in her life right now." Shelby said and turned and walked off.
Finn and Puck looked at each other and took off before Schue could catch them. They had a lot to tell the others, and they all probably wanted to be close to the dressing room VA had been assigned. They had a feeling that the soulless machines were about to get reamed out by their coach.
Please let me know what you think!
