Disclaimer: I'm just a poor student, can't afford to buy the rights to NCIS.
It was not perfect, something deriving from grief and pain, but it was a moment, their moment, their first.
A hug in an elevator after loosing a good soul, a gesture of comfort. To be honest, he was frightened, frightened by how fragile she was, or rather that she showed how fragile she was. Scared that her saying "I don't think I can take anymore" was not just a spur of the moment thing, but had a foundation to it. That this new tragedy was the one drop that caused the barrel to spill. That everything that has ever happened to this woman was finally enough and she'd reached her breaking point. That she really couldn't go on working at a job where you see more evil than you do good.
Their relationship has been, well, uncommon as always, but in the last months even more undefined than ever. When Ziva's been dating CI-Ray he's been so jealous, but soon had to admit that she was happier than she'd been in a long time, so he moved on (once again) and started doing… something with EJ, what it really was he wasn't sure. Suddenly the roles were reversed and Ziva got really jealous even though she'd still been dating Ray. After they went separate ways her jealousy only seemed to increase, and a certain level of distrust was definitely there as well.
xxxxxx
If the elevator hadn't chosen that exact moment to come to a stop, they would have kissed – they both were sure of that. All Ziva remembered when she got home that night was the soft touch of Tony's hand on her cheek, caressing her gently and conveying by that and with his eyes a feeling of comfort and trust that she had never experienced before. Quite irrationally her heart started to flutter in her chest every time she thought about the scene in the elevator – which she did all the time, so her poor heart didn't get to rest at all.
Tony experienced something similar, so strange was this new feeling which came into existence the moment Ziva leaned on him. He was sure it was only for comfort, but it was like a key had finally found his lock. It opened a door deep inside of his soul of which he didn't even know it existed. He was overwhelmed with longing for her, the need to make her feel better and please, please, convince her not to leave NCIS and thereby him. At the same time he was conflicted by these emotions as he was actually in some kind of "thing" with EJ. They had never gone through the trouble of defining what it was. All he knew was, that it was comfortable and easy, he wasn't alone at night, which was a lot to be thankful for. He'd long before given up hoping for something more. He'd wished for it with Ziva once before, more than once actually, but the timing was never right. There has always been a Rivkin, a Jeanne or a Ray to prevent them from finding out if they had a chance. So he'd learned to bottle up these dreams deep inside of him and let go. Now however, he had got a taste of how it could be, for the first time ever the chance had been so real, it would have happened if the elevator ride had continued. Both of them had wanted it and it was not driven by any sexual needs or attraction, but by deep feelings.
At the end of the day both of them lay in bed, secretly fearing what would happen tomorrow when they faced each other again.
xxxxxx
The next morning however brought quite a lot of chaos and started already at 5am when the team was called in as backup for EJ and her team. It seemed as if the woman had been stupid enough to go after the Port-to-Port killer on her own, leaving her wounded co-workers behind (something you just didn't do). In the end no one was really sure how she even managed to make it out alive, but Cobb was dead and EJ wasn't. In the whole debriefing and paperwork process that followed, there was not so much time for a private moment either. Gibbs was hovering over them, pressing them to finish the papers, all the while glancing up towards the director's office where EJ had been seen entering hours ago, but hasn't returned as of yet. Gibbs had never trusted the woman and now had even less reason to do so. Even Tony, who's always been so quick to defend her, found it impossible to find excuses for her behaviour. He was just finished with his paperwork and leaned back in his chair, the first time in many hours that he had a minute to breath. His mind had just reached the conclusion that his newfound disapproving feelings for EJ were quite interesting regarding his other newfound feeling for the woman sitting opposite him, when the director's door suddenly slammed open and they heard a female voice shouting "You can't do that, you have no right!" Director Vance followed behind EJ and his voice was cold as he spoke: "These are your orders and you will follow through with them. In my opinion you get of the hook too easily, but it seems you have friends up in very high places." Then he turned towards the office below him and announced: "Agent Barrett will return to Rota, her flight leaves this afternoon. As of tomorrow she has no longer permission to enter the Headquarters without a visitors pass."
xxxxxx
It was late in the evening, McGee had gone down to Abby and Gibbs was probably with his bourbon. It was quiet. Tony had finished long before, but was still deep in thought about the afternoon's events. EJ had come to him, begging him with her eyes to say something, forgive her, but he just couldn't do it. She had left shortly after with a soft goodbye.
Suddenly he noticed Ziva's concerned eyes on him. "You okay?", she asked with worry in her voice. Looking into her brown eyes calmed him for the first time this day. "I should ask you that, are you feeling better than yesterday?", his tone was caring while he walked over to her desk. She smiled sadly: "Not really, it was just so busy today, I didn't have so much time to think about it. Wounds take time to heal, that is what they say, is it not?" A genuine small reached his eyes: "Yes", he said softly. "I guess they do." They sat there for a moment, just looking at each other and loosing themselves in the other's eyes.
Ziva's heart started pounding again and there was nothing she wanted to do more than lean over and feel his arms around her again, but she had to be realistic. "Tony", she cut through the moment, "what about EJ? I know what she did was not right, but you really liked her, surely you might want to talk to her, you'll miss her." Tony sighed and looked away. Of course she had to bring that up.
"Ziva, with EJ and me that was nothing serious. It was easy, not much to worry about, just not being alone at night. But I can't look away this time. I'm not angry at her, but I won't miss her either. You know, you never liked her and I wasn't so sure why that was. I hoped it was the reason I thought, but then I never could be sure. And then yesterday, in the elevator,… I don't know, Ziva, what do you, I mean,…" He trailed off when he saw the look on her face, she started to put her walls up. "What are you saying? It was, well, it was a hard day, with…Franks and all." At that, tears welled up in her eyes once more. Tony reached out to turn her head towards him. "Hey, look at me. I'm not saying you were weak, it is alright, we all miss him. He was, well…", his voice got a bit muffled as well, "he was unique in his way and always a good laugh. That's not what I meant. It's, when we were standing there, I thought for a moment, if the elevator hadn't stopped, we, you know, we might have…" Ziva's finger on his lips prevented him from finishing his sentence. "Don't say it, Tony. Just, I'm sorry, I was tired and simply not myself, I should've never let myself go that far. I knew you were with EJ and we are just friends and…" Soft lips cut off the sentence as Tony placed a feather light kiss on her lips.
Breaking apart, they both started blushing profusely and looked away, shy smiles on their lips.
"Would you…", Tony cleared his throat, "would you maybe want to get something to eat with me?" He sounded so timid, so afraid that she would say no and he didn't even dare to fully look at her. She lifted her hand to caress his cheek. "Yes, I would like that very much.", she said softly.
Together they stepped into the elevator and his hand found hers as the doors closed…
Thanks for reading:-)
