Summary: Medication only helped so much; all he could really do was wait it out. DRABBLE.
Disclaimer: Don't own Degrassi. 'Nuff said.
Author's Note: This is a late "Father's Day" fic. It takes place in the same universe as Alter Ego.
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Innocence
By: Lady Azura
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It was back.
That feeling… no, that wasn't the right word.
He didn't feel anything; he wasn't sad, he wasn't angry, he wasn't happy… he was just empty. It was like there was a void in his chest that had sucked out all of his emotions, leaving him disconnected from the world.
Furrowing his brow, Eli Goldsworthy stared blankly at the TV screen. His eyes were heavy, but he couldn't sleep, unlike his wife who had been out the second her head hit the pillow. He envied her. He envied her because she could sleep — and dream. She wasn't haunted by guilt and inner demons like him, and most importantly, she could feel. She felt all the time — compassion, empathy, happiness, sadness, anger… and pity. Pity for him, and the state he was in. Medication only helped so much; all he could really do was wait it out.
Wait to feel again.
A pitter-patter of feet against the hardwood floor dragged Eli out of his reverie. When he turned his head, he found himself staring into big blue eyes, peeking over the arm of the sofa.
Eli raised a brow, then sat up, patting his lap. He watched as the toddler grinned and struggled to climb onto the couch, before he decided to give her a hand. Lifting her up, he placed her on his lap.
"What are you doing up so late, Jules?" He asked, tapping her nose playfully. "Did you get out of your crib again?"
The mischievous glint in her eyes told him that that was exactly what had happened, and suddenly Eli could hear Adam's voice in his head, "Like father like daughter, huh Eli?"
"Da…" His daughter gurgled, reaching up with her chubby hand to tug on the chain around his neck. "Daaa…"
Eli smiled warmly at her, letting her toy with the silver guitar pick that seemed to mesmerize her. It wasn't long before she began to nod off, her eyes drooping, and Eli slowly rose to his feet while his daughter clung to him, burying her face in his Dead Hand t-shirt.
"Time for bed," he announced softly, carrying her to her room.
She squirmed a bit out of protest, but thankfully didn't throw a fit. Placing her in her crib, Eli pulled her blanket — the one that Cece had knitted for her for her first birthday — over her. Ruffling her dark curls lightly, he made sure that the crib was secure before leaning down and kissing the top of her head. Once she was fast asleep, he wandered out into the hallway and into his own bedroom, where his wife slept.
As he climbed in beside her, Clare stirred, rolling over so that she was facing him.
"Sorry," he murmured. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's fine…" She assured him, smiling lazily.
He smiled weakly in return.
"How are you feeling?" She asked softly, once he was comfortable.
Eli wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.
"Better."
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FIN
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Yeah, so this popped into my head yesterday… I know Father's Day was a few days ago, but I hope you guys enjoyed.
Please REVIEW and tell me what you think!
