Chalkboard Gag: It is not 'Al Jean for Jeans day'.

Couch Gag: Fry, Leela, Zoidberg, Bender, Farnsworth, Hermes, and walk in and sit down on the couch.

Amy: "Wait, this isn't Planet Express!"

Fry: "D'oh!"

-------

The family is sitting on the couch, quietly.

(After 10 seconds)

Bart: ...Isn't this the part where someone says something, or something?

Homer: (quietly) Shhh, you're mother's upset.

Marge: I heard that!

Bart: Mom..?

Marge: Go to your room!

Bart: But..

Marge: Now, young man!

Bart: ..Stupid lousy...piece of...

Lisa: ..Um, ..mom? Don't..you think that was a little harsh? Bart didn...

Marge: Go to your room!

Lisa: Alright, alright, I'm going...sheesh.

Homer: ..Marge honey? i..is there something bothering y..

Marge: Can't talk. Keeping myself in a state of cat-like readiness.

(Homer backs away slowly)

(Homer walks to kids' room)

Homer: Boy, non-boy, what's gotten into your mother? She's repeating lines she's said before.

Lisa: Oh dad. Something's obviously bothering her. After all, she does so much for us, and gets so little in return. You just need to give her time.

Homer: ..Do I have to do anything else?

Lisa: sighs ..No dad.

Homer: Woohoo!

(Homer at work)

Homer: (staring at Lenny)

Lenny: What's...going on Homer?

Homer: (Lenny morphs into a donut) Mmmmmm, doonuut. (drools)

Lenny: e-eh, take it easy Homer. I'm Lenny!

Homer: Heh, you wish.

(Cuts to Mr. Burns' office)

Mr. Burns: Smithers, who is that fat blob trying to eat one of my employees?

Smithers: Homer Simpson sir. One of your mammals from sector 7G.

Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? is he..competent? qualified?

Smithers: He tried to prevent a meltdown by bashing a hole in the wall with his head.

Mr. Burns: Hmmm, Sounds a bit over qualified. Well bring him here at once. I have a "proposition" for him. Mwahahahahaha!!

Smithers: Yes sir. Will you..spare this one?

Mr. Burns: I don't know Smithers, are birds pink?

Smithers: ..n-no sir.

Mr. Burns: Exactly.

Smithers: Um, ..right you are sir. But that still doesn't answer my..

Mr. Burns: Go!

(Homer arrives home)

Homer: AAAHH! I mean, h-AAHH-lo sweety!

Marge: Hello Homer, did you remember to take out the trash?

Homer: Uuumm...Yeeaaahhh...

Marge: Then how come it's still in the kitchen?

Homer: D'oh!

Marge: (murmurs)...Homie, I need to talk to you about something.

Homer: ("Uh oh, she found the racoon living in the basement!") Um...there's no racoon in the basement dear. You're probably just seeing things.

Marge: Um, ..y-yes. But that really isn't what I'm trying to..

Homer: I said there's nothing up there!

(Bart and Lisa get home from school)

Marge: HOMER, THE CAT RAN AWAY!

(kids drop their bags)

Homer: Whah che! Santa's Little Helper ran away again?

Marge: sighs That's the dog Homer..

Homer: ...Oh yeah.

Lisa: SNOOWBALL! (starts crying)

Homer: There there honey, everything's gonna be okay. I'm Santa's Little Helper will return any minute now.

Marge: For gods sakes Homer, that's the dog!

Homer: ...Oh yeah.

Lisa: (sobbing) Doesn't anyone care?!

Homer: Oh relax honey. I mean, the cat could've been better..

Lisa: You baboon! (runs to room)

Homer: Oh not this again..

Marge: Homer, get up there right now and apologise to your daughter!

Homer: Oh Marge. These things work themselves ou..

Marge: NOW HOMER!

(Homer enters Lisa's room)

Homer: Um...hi honey.

Lisa: (sobbing) what do you want?

Homer: I've come to apologize about that cat. We can go to the store and get you a new one?

Lisa: No dad, you don't understand. You can't replace or forget a member of the family!

(cut to Grampa, alone, wearing a party hat)

Grampa: They forgot my birthday..

(Back to Lisa's Room)

Homer: Well, if it makes you feel better, we can go out and look for him?

Lisa: Oh thankyou, thankyou dad! Um, dad? Snowball's a girl..

Homer: (nervously) ..I..know that, honey, I was just testing you...

Lisa: Oh...k. Well when can we look for her?

Homer: Right after Daddy's finished watching TV.

Lisa: sighs Forget it dad. I'll go myself.

Homer: Alright, but be careful. I'm not paying for two funerals.

(Homer walks downstairs and sits on the couch)

Homer: Marge, get me a beer!

Marge: We're all out Homer.

Homer: AAH! AAH! AAAH!!

Marge: Oh wait, here's one.

Homer: Fewh!

Marge: Oh wait, that's just Bart's cough medicine.

Homer: Hmmm, gimme that.

Marge: Homer that's for Bart!

Homer: (gulping) All done.

Marge: So, did you sort things out with Lisa?

Homer: Huh? oh...sure, why not.

Marge: (murmurs) Mmm..that doesn't sound very convincing. I'm going to check on her.

Homer: NO! I mean, don't do that Marge. She just needs some time to be alone. You know how these thing are.

Marge: Homer, I know women.

(Walks to Lisa's room, Homer runs up too, trying to stop her)

Marge: AAAH! she's gone! Oh Homer, what did you do?

Homer: Oh relax, she's just gone to look for the cat.

Marge: It's 9:30 at night! ..That's it, I'm going to look for her. You stay here and look after Bart.

Homer: Marge, he's old enough to look after himse..

Marge: DO IT HOMER.

Homer: Well what about Maggie?

Marge: I'm taking her with me. Goodbye Homer. (slams front door)

(Homer walks to Bart's room)

Homer: Boy, I know I haven't been a very good father to you lately. I've just been caught up in work. You know how it is, ...Boy?

(Turns on light, and pulls back Bart's blanket)

Homer: Whah! Pillows?! Why that little! (stars strangling the pillow)

(runs down stairs)

Homer: ..MARGE WAIT!

Marge: What is it Homer?

Homer: Bart's...um...not...in...his...um...

Marge: Oh hurry up!

Homer: He's not in his room.

Marge: ..What?! oh my god...did you check the crawlspace?

Homer: Oh Marge, that's the first place I looked.

Marge: (sadly) ..Get in the car Homer.

(they drive off)

Marge: (anxious) Mmmm...Maybe Ned might know where they are! I'm stopping the car.

Homer: Pfft, Flanders? what's he done for us lately?

Marge: Homer he saved your life!

(they both get out of the car and knock on the door)

(door opens)

Grandma Flanders: Hello, Joe!

Homer & Marge: Aaaahh!!

Ned Flanders: Ohohhohoh, I see you've just met Grandma Flanders!

Grandma Flanders: (turns to ned) Hello, Joe!

Ned Flanders: Soo...neighboureenos, what can I do ya for?

Marge: Hi Ned. I'm ashamed to say this, but...we can't find Lisa or Bart!

Ned Flanders: Ohohohoh, no need to worry, there up-stairs in sleep-didilly-eeping!

Homer: Oh that's it! you steal our children, I steal yours!

Marge: Homer!

Homer: Well explain to me this, "Flanders" if that is your real name. How come Bart and Lisa are in your house? I don't see your name on them!

Ned Flanders: Well, here's what happened, I was heading down to church to to ask Reverend for some advice, when I saw your two children on the side of the road with two of god's holy creatures! I'd just reached the door to your house when I heard you two fighting, so I thought it would be best to return them tomorrow, so brought them home to the good old Flanders crib!

Marge: Oh ned, I'm so sorry this happened.. I don't know how to repay you.

Ned Flanders: Ohohoho, you take that back. They've been wonderful.

(Marge & Homer run to their bedroom)

Marge & Homer: KIDS!

Bart and Lisa: Mom!

Homer: D'oh!

Marge: Oh we were so worried about you! (kisses them). Bart, how did you get here

Bart: Santa's Little Helper ran away, so I found him. Then I saw Lisa with Snowball.

Marge: (to Lisa) Where was Snowball honey?

Lisa: I found her up a tree. Santa's Little Helper scared her... Can we go now? Rod and Todd won't stop singing..

Rod and Todd: "And heaven and nature sing!"

The End. ©