A/N: So this story is to give us a little more insight into Rae's mind and her relationship with Jake since Divergent Love Stories was mostly focused on Four/Tris and Abbex. It takes place two years before chapter 12 and carries out through to Chapter 14 of DLS, ending with Chapters 44 and 50. I hope you guys enjoy it :)
Year 0
Rae is 16
It's weird, sitting in the same dining hall with him but not being able to speak to him. He keeps stealing glances at me and every time we make eye contact I grin like I'm stupid and I can't chew my food properly. I don't really care about the rules, but for his sake I try to make a decent attempt at complying. Eventually I guess he decides he doesn't care either, because he stands to his feet and begins to make his way over to my table.
I sit alone… almost. There's one other initiate at the table; a transfer. Most of the other Dauntless born initiates think that I eat children so they don't sit or stand too close to me. I don't mind it. Most of them are unbearable anyways. But then again, they've all been here twice as long as I have. I guess that's what makes them twice as belligerent.
I smile idly when I hear his footsteps approaching behind me.
"Hey, you," he says, looking around nervously, bearing the weight of his unspeakable crime on his shoulders.
"Four," I say with a crooked smile.
"I know it hasn't been that long," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "But it's really nice to see you, Rae."
I've only been gone a week but it's felt like forever. I miss home. I'm in the same building yet it feels like I'm a thousand miles away. I keep wondering how Anna's coping with sleeping alone, if Alex is making friends at school, if Christian is sleeping through the night so that Tris can get some sleep.
"It's nice to see you too," I say. And considering the way he kept peeking over here I expected him to have so much to say to me, but instead he just stands there. "Is that all?" I ask him after a while.
"Yeah. I can't say too much or someone might report me for divulging the secrets of Dauntless initiation."
I scoff. It's not like he hasn't done that already.
"Well go away," I say with a grin. "Before someone sees you and charges you with crimes against humanity."
He laughs quietly. "Ok. Catch you later."
"Ok," I nod, and I watch him walk away. He looks back a couple of times and we both grin every time he does.
It's strange seeing him this way outside of the house. He usually wears his Four face in public so most of Dauntless thinks he's uptight and miserable. Tris says he was once, but it's hard for me to imagine such a thing after I've watched Annabelle press her clips into his hair and then make him dance around the couch wearing a tutu. Some days he's such a great dad. Other days he's more like the cool big brother that sneaks you extra dessert after mom already said that you can't have any more.
When he finally exits through the door and I bring my head around, I feel a pair of eyes on me. I raise an eyebrow at him. It's not often that someone stares at me. I stare back for a while, but he doesn't break.
"What?" I tersely ask the only other person at the table. But he just rolls his eyes and continues to eat his food. What's his problem?
I've heard them talk about him; the hardy, angel-faced Erudite transfer who doesn't speak to anybody. He may not speak but I can already tell that there's a lot that goes on in his head, though his face gives no clues as to what. I may not be Amity anymore, instinctively in-tuned to other people's emotions, but sometimes people are just easy to read. Sometimes they're not. This one is not.
It's strange that he sits alone, away from the other transfers. Neither does he entertain conversation with the Dauntless born. And he's beautiful. The kind of beautiful that makes you come spontaneously. There's no way he doesn't know. But when he walks he doesn't flaunt it the way other boys would. He holds back like he's trying to crawl into himself, like he's hoping you don't notice him. A strange quality for an Erudite.
People are always fascinated by the transfers. They're like that little break away from the Dauntless redundancy, that is, until they adapt. And as absolutely bored with Dauntless initiation as I am, I decide to take this one on as my own little side project, try and figure him out.
So I study him for the next few days. Though keeping my distance proves to become more and more difficult the more I watch him. I don't know why. There's just something about him, I guess.
Later that week I follow him into the training room. He spends a lot of time in there, although I don't know what for. Much to his favour he's fighting transfers who can't see a punch from a mile away so he wins all his fights.
I've watched how he hits and apart from his horrible technique I've noticed something else. He's not hitting the bag trying to improve or even for hitting it sake. He's hitting it with initiative, like he's angry at it. But he doesn't put half as much force when he's in the ring and he doesn't fight cruel, which makes me think that when he's in here he's hitting someone specific. He might be out to seek revenge but if he's going at it like that he won't last ten minutes.
I stand in the shadows for a while, debating whether or not I should help him, but who am I kidding? So much for watching him from a distance.
Fearlessly, I decide to advance. I mean, he can't be that bad. Can he?
"You're doing it wrong," I say as I come to a halt beside him.
He stops and looks behind him to ensure that I am indeed speaking to him. "Excuse me?"
"You're doing it wrong. You're using your muscle to fuel your hit. You need to throw your body weight into it."
He gives me a patronizing look and I suddenly wonder if it was a mistake coming over here.
"Maybe I don't need to," he scowls at me. "I'm bigger than you are, and I'm stronger."
"I can see that," I say, and I let my eyes linger south of his neck and sculptured shoulders for a bit. He's rock solid and chiselled, like he's been preparing for Dauntless his whole life. And he oozes testosterone and power and all the things that make girls wet themselves.
"You're also slower, a bigger target, and you have no technique," I add. "It's not just about how hard you can hit. It's also about defence and endurance. If you keep doing that you'll tire out your arm or pull your muscle." And we wouldn't want those beautiful muscles getting hurt. "Throw a little bit of your weight behind it and follow through. You'll save energy and you'll have just as much force."
He turns his whole body to face me and I throw all my focus into not looking at it. So I concentrate on the lock of dirty-blond hair that sticks sweetly to his forehead, darkened by sweat. "Seriously?" he scowls. "Do you honestly think you could take me in a fight?" He sizes me up with his eyes. I don't take offense. It's a common mistake, understandable even, assuming that strength and size are the sole pivotal factors in who wins a fight. I gather he hasn't seen our rankings. Assuming that he even knows who I am.
"If you keep hitting like that, I'm sure I can," I say. On the other hand, if he'd learn how to fight properly I wouldn't stand a chance.
"This is ridiculous," he says to himself and he turns back to face the punching bag. But I haven't given up just yet and some ridiculous thing tells me to hit him in the arm, so I do.
"Try and hit me," I say, and then I hit him again.
He rolls his eyes. "I'm not hitting you."
"You won't be able to," I almost laugh. "Come on. Have a go at me."
He turns back around with an ireful look on his face. Oh God, I've pissed him off.
"Why do you Dauntless born always think you're better than everybody? Think you could just take whatever the hell you want?" And there's venom in his voice. I take a step back. Where the fuck did that come from?
"What are you talking about? You don't even know me."
"I know your type," he barks.
"My type?" I ask with a screwed up face.
"I'm not stupid," he hisses. "I saw you with Four in the dining hall. Is that how you like them? Older and married? You do know that he's married right?"
My jaw drops. I suddenly feel the urge to hit this guy in the face. Who the hell does he think he is? No wonder nobody talks to him.
"I know," I say nonchalantly. "And his wife just had a baby in January. He's the cutest little thing."
He scoffs and he continues to hit the punching bag, poorly at that. Apparently he can be that bad.
"He's my dad," I say, and I'm not even sure why I'm explaining myself to this asshole.
"Huh?"
"Four. He's my dad… sort of. I'm adopted." Angel-face looks at me for a while and I can tell that he's trying to figure out if I'm being serious. When his eyes go from squinting to peering wide open I reckon he believes me.
"It's ok," I say. "You can tell me whenever you start feeling like a jackass. Still think you're not stupid?" And I make my annoyance obvious.
"Oh," he says, red. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be an asshole to you." And I wonder if he's apologizing because he was being a dick, or because pissing off a Dauntless leader's daughter is not the best way to make a name for yourself around here.
"Yes, you did. So don't apologize for it. And it would be dumb of you to think that you have the capacity to hurt my feelings."
He stands a little straighter and says, "Ok. I'm sorry I judged you then. I shouldn't have."
It's a much more sincere apology, given the look in his eyes. They're a lush green, like the vibrant glow of freshly sprung leaves. He really is a beautiful creature, despite his unpleasantness. Or maybe his unpleasantness is part of what makes him attractive. I can't really tell, but I decide I don't care and I begin to imagine myself rubbing my fingers against the solid ridges of his body. I'm not ashamed of it. Tris says us women can be stupid like that sometimes.
"So why did you?" I ask him casually, hopefully obscuring the fact that I am entirely fascinated by him.
"I've just had my guard up since I've been here," he says, letting his arms relax at his side. "I wasn't really welcomed by your peers. As a rule of thumb, I just expect all Dauntless born to be hostile."
Why does that not surprise me? It's commonplace in Dauntless, finding the bigger fish and taking him out. And if a week and a half into training they've made it their business to intimidate a transfer then they are incredibly threatened by him. It's actually a good thing, a compliment, in some twisted Dauntless kind of way.
"Ok," I say. "But they're not my peers… and I'm not Dauntless born."
I've never felt the need to hide that fact. Given our age difference, no one would ever really think that I was Four and Tris' biological child. They all know I'm adopted. What they don't know is where I came from. Most people just assume that I was factionless. I don't correct them. It just makes my repute more colourful.
"Word of advice," I add, looking past the confused look on his face after my last comment, "Ignore all pathetic attempts at intimidation. True strength is being able to acknowledge the strength in others. Disparagement is the son of cowardice. You don't really want to be friends with cowards anyways."
"I didn't come here to make friends," he says firmly. I can respect that.
"That's fine. This is Dauntless. You don't need anyone to like you. But you do need them to respect you."
He tilts his head to the side. "I take it they don't like you either."
"Something like that," I say with a half-smile. "But I'd like to think I'm just misunderstood."
He smiles. "I guess you and I should stick together then." It takes too much effort to not smile back.
"If you ever want to stop playing tag with the punching bag and learn how to really fight, you know where to find me." I try not to sound too hopeful and I turn around before the look on my face sells me out. But before I get too far I hear quick footsteps trotting behind me. I mentally grin.
Bingo.
He grabs my arm. "Hey, what's your name?" His voice is as soft as I've ever heard it and for some inexplicable reason I find myself blushing. I look him in the eye and command the blood out of my cheeks.
"Rae," I say simply and not too quickly.
He nods a little before he says, "I'm Jake."
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the first installment! :) Please let me know what you thought of it. I'll try and update as soon as I can.
