Disclaimer: I claim nothing, I do not own Legend of the Seeker.

[a/n: I watched Tears and loved the scene where Cara hesitates and decides not to shoot Kahlan even though it might be the only way to save her. And I wondered what was going through her head. What if she couldn't bring Kahlan back? The result is this story.]

Her bow was notched, the arrow ready to whir through the air…and kill Kahlan Amnell, the Mother Confessor.

Earlier when she'd been aiming for Nicci, Cara hadn't hesitating to shoot her even though the arrow had to whistle past Kahlan's head only a hairsbreadth away. She was an excellent shot and the arrow had embedded itself in Nicci's back, leading to her demise. Cara took satisfaction in knowing that she had been the one to stop Nicci from hurting Kahlan. The subservient Mother Confessor got on Cara's nerves and with Nicci dead, Kahlan would be Kahlan again. (Also, hearing Kahlan call Nicci "Mistress" had really pissed Cara off.) Except it hadn't worked because, Zedd theorized, Kahlan had been confessed by her own magic.

She was in the Con Dar and the only way to stop her was to kill her and then bring her back with the Breath of Life. But what if it failed? What if she shot Kahlan and that the end of the Mother Confessor, her life ended by the Mord Sith she trusted?

Cara tried to imagine what life would be like without Kahlan. It would be like a sky without stars, a place devoid of light.

Cara would never get to see her smile again, never see the way her eyes lit up when she was happy. She'd never see her face right after a battle when Cara thought she looked most beautiful. She would never hear that laugh again. She wouldn't be able to watch her secretly when she thought no one was looking. There would be no more stories by the fire; no more secret swims in the lake late at night when the men were asleep; she wouldn't be able to lay her bedroll next to hers anymore. There would be no one to give Cara a reassuring arm pat or a smile full of understanding and forgiveness. All that would be gone.

Cara watched Kahlan's retreating figure as it rode off into the desert. Being around these people…it had made her weak. She should be strong like Mord Sith, do what had to be done no matter what the cost. But she couldn't. She hesitated. And even though Zedd told her that it made her stronger, choosing not to kill, she didn't believe him. It had to be Kahlan who said it.

What shocked Cara more was the fact that she knew what she would do if anything every happened to Kahlan. She would kill herself. Because a life without Kahlan wasn't a life at all.