Prequel to the never ending dream
I remember.
Basking in the sunlight. A sharp intake of crisp air, filling his small tiny lungs.
His face soft and gentle, not an inch of emotion. Pure bliss.
The snow is falling all around, his almost non existent weight, pressed into my side.
Wrapped, wrapped in the false safety of an extremely thin and ratty blanket.
Staring, I'm just staring out at the thin air, the thin air being twisted by people.
People milling, back and forth and back again only to go forth for another time.
Almost serene, that we made it.
So surreal how far tiny feet can travel when their state of mind is as light
As the air, the air that slicks your face.
Shifting, it's almost painful when he shifts, digging his bony body
Into my side.
The ocean shifts, his eyes begin to open.
The ocean stirs.
And now his eyes are fully opened, taking in the surroundings.
Reflecting.
Reflecting just like the ocean does on a clear and beautiful day.
He becomes aware of the biting cold.
When it fully begins to gnaw on his conscious he twists his face slightly.
He shifts further into my side.
Groaning, but so softly that the wind carries it away, almost
Making it seem like nothing was said at all.
I know why he groans, because he knows we have to continue.
Straight ahead.
I stand up, staggering. Staggering for a reason to continue.
I look down and I see why, straight ahead is the only option.
So small and fragile, just like the snow flakes that's descend and
Dance.
Slowly rising.
He gets to his feet, letting the blanket shower off his shoulders.
He takes the first few steps, not even heading the loss of the
Blanket.
I wait, I feel sick, frozen in my core.
I bestowed this fate on him. If he was with mom or dad…
Would it have been better?
He stares at me, his eyes are livid, but that's just their nature
He himself is not livid at all.
He turns and begins to walk. I look to his back, broad in spirit
Tiny in reality.
I step after him.
We walk for a good while, no words are said, just a simple
Glance behind every now and then, to see if I am following his
Foot steps.
Near the edge of the snow filled town, is a tiny glow, from a tiny
Fire.
A kind man is standing over the fire, with a pot, radiating the sweet scent
Of a long forgotten luxury, food.
Many other people stand around this fire, circling like, rabid and crazed wolves far
Past their feeding time.
We stop, just for a second.
We tear away at the stale bread; it's cold and stiff like a rock.
It's so hard that it begins to cut the roves of our mouths.
But still we smile as we eat, under then moon, sitting in
The dancing snows stage, greedily basking in the
Small fires heat.
All these emotions are folded in my stomach.
10 moons and 6 sky shades later and it seems as if
We haven't gotten two steps to where we need to go.
I look to his young face, so weathered, it's cracked and
It's dirty.
The dark circles incase his ocean eyes, proving the
Toll of sleepless ventures to a better place.
"Will you sing" he whispers.
The ice in my core spikes, puncturing everything
In its path. "She" used to sing, "She" used to sing
To me.
A beautiful serenade about the moon and sun, pertaining to the
Cycle of life.
I move my mouth; soundlessly I mouth the words as a bitter hum
Erupts.
He soundlessly radiates his gratitude for the song.
Back when life was simple.
This bitter song was a source of happiness, comfort
It was almost like a fantasy.
Now it was just a reminder, we were so young our souls
Tender and somehow both of us changed that one song
Into our philosophy of life.
If I could steal back the years, I would have
… I would have. Given my long lived years
To you and slept, slept many eternity's.
I look to him.
"Will you remember?" I ask hazily.
You only comply with a stare as in disbelief.
I truly mean it.
Will you remember?
That's what I keep wondering every step
of our short lived journey.
Current time.
The sheets twist, they turn. They show the agony.
The small lump groans, it almost screams out
As its body quivers. The blue light flickers,
Licking the space around it.
The sword lying near the door, flickers the light right back as
If responding to the torment.
The moon that was gracing the sky was suddenly engulfed
By sad and heavy clouds.
The body began to contort itself further.
The body erupts from the sheets and screams,
Almost roars but the thunder resounding in the distance
Covers the cry.
The boy grabs his snow locks.
Staring at his sword, he looks blankly.
"I can't remember" he mouths breathlessly.
He looks at his sword, gaze deepening, brow furrowing,
Sweat slipping.
It was as if and answer was being given to him, it was as if he was listening
To a voice filled with wisdom, guiding his disconnected mind.
"whose memories were those?" he says, finally reclaiming his voice.
He looks to the sword, but it doesn't console.
He lifts his body, dropping his sleeping hakama.
It feels oddly familiar. The sheer fabric showering down,
Its loss not even headed.
Lifting the staple black hakama and slipping it on, adjusting
The obi tie in the middle.
Pulling it to suffocating measures.
Picking up the white haori.
Flipping it over my shoulders.
Hoisting.
Hoisting my sword over my shoulder.
I head out the corridor, walking.
Straight ahead.
Again so oddly familiar.
I stop in front of a set of double
Doors.
On it, engraved
"10th division office, Taichou: Hitsugaya Toushiro"
I slid the doors opened.
I take in my surroundings and walk right towards my desk.
I begin to write, aimlessly, so much so It consumes time.
And the sun rises.
Around the sun's third shift into the sky, she walks in.
"Taiiichhhhhhoooouuu!" she calls out ecstatically.
She advances going to suffocate me, but I look up and she stops.
She sucks in my features, he smile slides slowly, just like
Dripping honey.
Without hugging me or even trying to irk me, she only speaks a few words.
"You know taichou, I could have sworn…you screamed out last night" she says knowingly.
"Matsumoto…I think the sake is staring to steal your sanity" I say stonily and
very steady.
She smiles widely, uncomfortably, I can always tell when she is uneasy.
A breath, a sigh, a stare and a beat…implode.
"EHHH! TAICHOU! You're so mean!! Do the paperwork on your own today!" she calls
out laughing and sticking her tongue out.
She swivels and dashes out the door, I can't even call.
I can only wonder.
Whose memories keep haunting me, making my every move
Now feel like it happened many years back.
"Who's calling to me?" I wonder.
Who keeps sending me these dreams?
