Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender all characters and locations are official property of Nickelodeon.
Foreword: Ok since people aren't reviewing my serious Zeus poem (check my profile if you're interested) lets try more crack. AU Takes place during the Azula x Katara fight in Crossroads of Destiny. Just my thoughts on what that battle looked like. Watch that scene again especially with the water whips.
Avatar Short: Tentacle What?!
Azula was having great difficulty handling Katara, for one thing it was the full moon and without the sun Azula was only at half her power while Katara's power had more than doubled. But still she held her own, then there was the fact that Azula was waiting for Aang to go Avatar State so she could shoot him in the back forcing her to hold back. Oh yes Azula you are devious! Yes you are. Oh yes you are she commended herself.
Katara however decided she needed to end this fight quick and help Aang against Zuko so she switched from throwing streams of water at the Fire Princess to creating water whips.
"Why is she forming a heart shape with those water whips?!" Azula wondered to herself.
"Surrender now or I'll grope you with my water tentacles!" Katara demanded.
The sound of a record player screeching to a halt for effect could suddenly be heard then all fighting stopped. Aang and Zuko stopped in mid-fight and their heads jerked in the direction of Katara with their jaws dropped wide open. Then all 150 Dai Li agents hiding in the floor, walls and ceiling waiting for Azula's signal to attack popped their heads out to stare in equally retarded looking puzzlement at Katara.
"Uhm what!?" Azula asked equally confused.
"You heard me! Surrender now or I'll grope you with my water tentac…I'm mean grapple! Yes grapple you with my slimy water tentacles! I mean whip you with my wet water whips! I mean…" Katara blurted out trying to correct herself but only succeeded in digging an ever deeper hole for herself.
"Katara!" Aang moaned in horror.
"That's my sister you crazy tentacled peasant!" Zuko screamed.
The entire Dai Li unit simply watched intently as their noses started to bleed.
"Oh screw this!" Katara yelled and sent forth several water tentacles to restrain Azula and pick her off the ground in what would be an MA+ rated scene were this not a kids show.
Azula screamed ever so femininely causing expected reactions from all the male viewers (except for Zuko of course, she's her brother!) while Katara just cringed.
"Don't scream like that you're making it worse!" the waterbender pleaded pitifully.
"Uhm what if I said I would like you to grope me?" Azula then innocently asked.
Katara suddenly felt like throwing up her dinner then all her water splashed to the ground before she ran to Aang, grabbed him and sailed up a waterfall screaming: "Aang let's get the hell out of here!"
"Wait! Wait!" Azula then screamed still soaking wet enough for her clothes to be extra tight and see through. "Come back!"
But Katara was gone causing Azula to suddenly burst into tears banging her fists against Zuko's chest while crying out: "I'm lonely! I'm so lonely!"
Needless no one ever spoke of that event ever again. Ever.
Author's Note: Yes I have a dirty mind. Look out for two new big fics of mine in the coming weeks. The First Lightningbender an after war Azula adventure fic with Tyzula and some Jetzula with some horror and suspense elements. And My Brother's Keeper an AU where Azula takes the place of Iroh in Zuko's exile a little after.
