(Rowling ftagn. Rowling waits.)

(A/N: Taking place during Lily Luna Potter's final year of Hogwarts, this story is about mutilating the MagicalGirlfriend trope at Albus Potter's expense, and nothing else. Ignore the eldest Potter sibling, he's not doing anything suspicious. At all.)


~The Thing About Portals~

Shining from nowhere, a soft white light illuminated a cavernous room of grey stone and sharp angles without a curved surface in sight. In the exact center of this vast chamber, touching nothing so as to preserve the contiguity of flat surfaces, was a thin circular platform made of glass. In the exact center of this transparent platform, gleaming black and wooden, stood a door leading nowhere. In the exact center of this door there was an ornate silver knob. A knob which turned, breaking the silence of the great angular cavern and allowing the heavy black door to swing open.

Through the open door was another place entirely. A dim room lit by motionless blue torches, filled with cloaked figures and other doors. One cloaked head nodded and led the others though, footsteps ringing sofly on the glass. The last to follow into the grey stone chamber carried an odd device in his hands, with a shell of glossy white covering dark inner workings wrapped around a glowing orange cylinder. His footsteps sounded different than the others' when he stepped onto the glass and the door swung shut behind him.

Sliding his off-hand onto the handgrip within the unusual artifact and freeing his other hand from its weight, Albus Severus Potter drew back his hood and unfastened his Unspeakable cloak, letting it flutter down to the glass beneath his feet. Underneath was a simple black bodysuit for ease of movement and sturdy white boots that buckled up passed his knees. Though his face remained distinctly blank, Albus' luminous green eyes sparkled with excitement.

The other Unspeakables from the Division of Enchantment and Artifact Research all took down their hoods as well, revealing a mix of witches and wizards who were each notably older than the fresh-out-of-Hogwarts Albus Potter. Division Director Orla Quirke, a dark-haired forty-something witch, spoke first.

"That's some quick work, Potter. The patent application on those Landing Boots of your's hasn't even gone through yet and you've already got a prototype for your new project?" she commented.

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you," Albus said.

"Right then, what do you have for us this time, Aprentice Potter?" Quirke prompted.

Albus swallowed his nerves and spoke with clear and steady precision. "I have constructed an artifact that facilitates the placement of a portable portal."

"That thing makes portals?" a greying wizard named Carmichael exclaimed. "That's ridiculous. It takes at least two wizards and hours of tedious tandem arithmancy to make even the smallest portal stable!"

There were a few murmurs of agreement.

"Indeed. Fortunately I found a way around that," Albus said, struggling to keep the tension out of his voice.

Albus hated being the center of attention, but he was quite proud of this accomplishment, even if he'd only started the project to meet the requirements of his evaluation period and get promoted to full Unspeakable. He had wanted to work in the Department of Mysteries since his third year and wasn't about to let himself get washed out after just the trial month.

"Would you care to demonstrate, Aprentice Potter?" Director Quirke asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Albus said.

He held out his hand to call for his wand, and the sturdy, off-white length appeared in Albus' hand with a small burst of canescent mist. A few of the older Unspeakables showed mild surprise on their otherwise implacable faces, at this.

"Is that a Kinwand?" Carmichael asked.

Albus nodded. "I went in for the surgery over the weekend."

"Seems a bit morbid to me," the older man said. "Cutting bits out of your own body to make a wand with. Is it really that much better than a traditional wand?"

"There is a very noticable difference, and even if there wasn't, the ability to call your Kinwand to hand wherever it may be, and thus be impossible to disarm, would be enough benefit on its own to justify the trouble," Albus asserted. "It isn't even all that bad. It only took a day and a night regrow my right ulna and the cutting of spinal cord needed to make my Kinwand."

Quirke coughed pointedly.

Albus winced. "Sorry, Director. As I was saying, the Albus Severus Handheld Portal Device doesn't generate portals. It merely contains a single enduring portal, the two sides of which it can, paint - for lack of a better word - upon any reasonably flat surface. Like so."

Albus aimed the device at a suitably sloped section of the far wall and pulled the left trigger. A shimmering blue oval sprang into being upon the panel. Allowing a grin to flit briefly across his features, Albus spun around and threw himself off the glass platform.

Muted exclamations of surprise were lost in the rush of wind as Albus plumeted towards the bottom of the chamber. Halfway to the floor, he pulled the right trigger and a firey orange oval appeared directly below him. It hollowed as soon as it formed, opening the portal.

He dove through and came rocketing out of the blue end of the portal, arcing high through the air over the Unspeakables' heads. Albus fliped over to put his feet under him and slammed down on the glass platform. His enchanted boots protected his legs from the impact, but the entire platform rung like a bell from the force of it.

Albus couldn't win against the small grin that was fighting to appear on his face. He straightened up and turned to the group of impressed-looking witches and wizards.

"I request that the applied skill demonstrated in the Albus Severus Handheld Portal Device be considered sufficient qualification for membership in the Department of Enchantment and Artifact Research," Albus said formally.

Director Quirke smiled.


Some time later, in a small London apartment somewhere between Diagon Alley and the Ministry, a voice exclaimed, "You what?"

"I'm in," Albus said, grinning widely. "Come next monday, I'm an Unspeakable."

Scorpius Malfoy closed his mouth, reasserted his dignity, and said, "You do realize we're obligated to engage in some form of debauchery to celebrate this, don't you?"

"Debauchery? What's that?" Albus deadpanned.

"How ever did I end up best friends with such a loser?" Scorpius sighed.

Albus raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so then you have been on a date since the time your dad secretly hired you that pr - "

"We agreed never to speak of that again," Scorpius said accusingly.

"Right, sorry," Albus laughed, dropping into his green armchair. "So what'd your dad say? About getting your Kinwand?"

"He told me that it was a barbaric neo-magical fad and if I wanted one I'd have to pay for the operation myself," Scorpius said with a roll of his eyes.

Albus snorted. "Right, and that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my dad publicly endorsed the Japanese wizard who invented them."

"Of course not," Scorpius snickered. "It also couldn't possibly have anything to do with the how much gold my dad has invested in the wand-wood industry."

Albus laughed at that and dropped his head back to stare at the celling. "We should probably go soon. My mum gets annoyed when 'her only sane child' is the last one to show up for dinner."

"Have I mentioned that your mum is bloody terrifying?" Scorpius asked.

"Many, many times."


Potter's Place was a generously-sized cottage perched on the side of a shallow valley far from any muggle habitation. It was an isolation made necessary by all five Potters' love of flying, and the grassy valley provided a great deal of open air that was safe from prying eyes.

A brisk wind flurried drifts of snow against rocks here and there. With twin cracks of apparation, Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy appeared in the mild winter's chill and headed around to the cottage's back door.

"For Merlin's sake, Mum! It's not like any of 'em are complaining," came James' voice from further inside.

"I'm not telling you that you should settled down and get married or anything like that, James, Merlin knows that would be a disaster, but I've lost count of how many girls you've brought home just this year," Ginny Potter said, sounding strained. "Sometimes you even alternate between several of the same ones and other times you bring more than one at a time!"

"Oh come on! How is that fair? Lily always has both of her boyfriends here at the same time," James complained.

"That's different and you know it, young man," Ginny said. "Lily's been committed with Lorcan and Lysander for four years come May. I may think it's a bit mental, but nobody could honestly dispute that their relationship is both stable and healthy."

"Unlike me?" James finished with a hint of humor.

Albus followed the sound of his brother's voice into the kitchen, where his dad was busy at the stove and his mum was sitting on the dinner table, looking ready to thunk her head against the nearest wall. James was leaning on the counter with a petite honey-blonde girl Albus didn't recognize practically glued to his side. She seemed to be only half-listening to the argument in favor of staring slavishly at James. Albus paused in the doorway, not wanting to interupt. No one had noticed he was there, yet.

"Please Mrs. Potter, it'd be a tragedy if some selfish woman were to keep our James all to herself," the girl purred, not taking her eyes off James.

Albus grimaced.

The girl's hand snuck down and groped his rear right there in full view of the kitchen. James grinned shamelessly and gave the girl an affectionate nip on the nose. Ginny dropped her head back and sighed at the celling.

"You knew we were asking for trouble when we named him after the two worst Marauders," Harry Potter joked over his shoulder as he stirred something in a pan.

"That was your idea, Harry," Ginny accused. "Which means it's also your fault if one day Albus stops washing his hair and decides he's in love with Scorpius."

"Ew. Please, no," Albus said, stepping into the room.

His mum jumped and twisted around, nearly falling off the table. Ears pink with mild embarassment, Ginny picked herself up and put on a smile, scooping Albus up in a hug. "Al! How long have you been - nevermind, I'm so glad you're here. How was your week?"

"Well if it isn't the Little Asp," James interupted. "How's everybody's favorite snake?"

"Don't call me 'Little Asp'," Albus said automatically, without any feeling. James wasn't listening anyway and his brother had been calling him that since he got sorted into Slytherin eight years ago, and Rose first pointed out to James that Albus' initials spelled the name of a type of snake.

"Hello, Scorpius," Ginny said. "Doing well?"

"Well enough, Mrs. Potter," Scorpius said politely.

Harry wiped his hands off on a towel and greeted Albus and Scorpius as well, slipping and arm around Ginny's waist. "So how about it, Al? I've been hearing some interesting rumors at work."

"Well," Albus hedged "I may have impressed the people I can't talk about with the invention I can't reveal yet and gained membership in the division I can't tell you about, effective Monday."

James blinked. "Wait, what?"

"Brilliant," his dad said. "I'm proud of you, Al."

"Yes, well," Albus trailed of, embarassed but smiling.

"You're an Unspeakable, now?" James asked.

Albus nodded. "I am, finally."

"Well congrats, I guess," James said. "Don't much see the appeal, myself. Spending all day with trinkets and artifacts in a place where you never see another human face. Who wants that? Are you sure you're not a eunich or something?"

"Well, to each their own," Albus said mildly, with as much fake sincerity as he could muster. "I don't much see the appeal of a life spent on nothing but pandering to an endless stream of mindless fangirls."

If James' girl of the day took offense at that, she showed no sign. James merely laughed and towed the blonde waif off towards the sitting room.

Albus sighed. It still made his stomach twist a little, sometimes. He'd been a more reserved person than his siblings to start with, and being in Slytherin had only exacerbated that. Albus was proud of his cleverness and passionate about his ambitions to advance the far-flung possibilities of applied magics, but if he was honest with himself, he wanted a relationship and eventually a family more than he ever wanted prestige or career success.

Of course, during his sorting he'd only been eleven and a girlfriend was only a vague future possibility, so it didn't really matter that after it was too late, Albus wished he'd been in Hufflepuff.

Albus had never felt inclined during school to trade on the Potter fame, at least at first, but by the time he was willing to resort to that, it was too late. James had half the witches in Britan in love with him, and had probably shagged half of those. He had opportunities Albus could only dream of, and James was wasting them..It was like seeing all the books he'd ever wanted to read being gifted to an illiterate who just admired the covers without even thinking of opening them.

Not that Albus had ever found any one of James' girls particularly appealing, though that may have been because he only met them while they were too busy fawning over James to be interesting.

The worst part was that James either couldn't or simply didn't try to understand why Albus wouldn't already have a girlfriend if he wanted one. It grated on Albus horribly, the assumption that he was living a solitary, loveless and sexless life by choice. James teased him about it like it was Albus' preference. And that assumption had spread, which was not helping matters.

A babble of greetings shook Albus out of his bitter thoughts. He blinked and followed his mum into the hall where she was pulling Lily away from the Lovegood twins - their father had taken Luna's name - and into a hug. Lorcan and Lysander smiled airily, waving over Lily's shoulders at exactly the same time in exactly the same way.

"Hey sis," Albus mumbled.

"Hi Al! Mum, Teddy's not coming today because he's staying with the Weasleys but he'll be here for christmas, he promises, and has Dad started making dessert yet?" Lily rattled off, flipping her braid over her shoulder and adjusting her glasses. "'sup Scorp? Your dad still an ass? Good? Where's James and his harem?"

"Er, no, your dad's still doing the main course," Ginny said, glancing at Lily's boyfriends. "James is out front with, whoever that was."

"We apologize, Mrs. Potter," Lorcan said.

"We partook of a muggle dinning establishment with unfamilar beverages," Lysander added.

"We didn't realize Lily's selection was caffinated," Lorcan explained, frowning.

Lysander smiled apologetically. "Lily drank three of them."

"They were tasty! Totally not my fault," Lily proclaimed.

"Right then," Ginny chuckled. "How was your term? I want to hear all about your Quidditch games. Now that you're captain there's no excuse for Gryffindor to lose."

"Oh yeah! There was this brilliant play I pulled off in the last game with one beater and the other two chasers circling..." Lily started off, detailing the manuver ethusiastically.

And from there, it was just another Potter family dinner.


"You wanted to see me, Director Quirke?" Albus said.

"I did," Quirke said, looking up from a sheaf of parchments. "Now that the patent for those Landing Boots of yours has gone through, there's a wizard in the Division of Deep Constants that I'd like to talk to about them, and I think it efficent to have you present during this conversation."

Albus blinked in surprise. "What interest is my invention to someone in the DDC, Director?"

"None, yet," Quirke admitted, with a small smile. "However, I owe Director Lennox a favor, and he often complains that getting around in the Planetarium takes too long. I hope to get you your first comission."

"Oh," Albus said. "Thank you, Director."

Quirke set the parchments down on her worktable and gestured towards the door. "Shall we?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She led him out of the Expirimental Artificery and into the Hub. The door snapped shut behind them, becoming indistinguishable from the dozens of others that ringed the dim, blue room. Quirke moved to the center of the room as the wall began to rotate.

"Seeking Director Toby Lennox," she intoned.

The wall froze in place with one door directly in front of her. Director Quirke stepped forward to pull open the nondescript door, and swore under her breath.

"It's the Death Room," she said, motioning for Albus to follow her inside. "They're in the midst of a Delving. Come along but stay silent. We must not interupt."

Albus looked down into the amphitheater as the door shut itself behind him. Ten cloaked Unspeakables stood in concentric rings of seven and three, pointing their wands at the ominous stone archway in the center of the chamber.

It was pretty boring for the first ten minutes or so. The two circles simply stood with with their wands poitned at the archway. Albus leaned against the wall beside Director Quirke and wondered if it would be improper to sit down while they waited.

Suddenly, the Veil fluttered as though a wind had swept through the room.

A wave of force washed over the chamber, striking Albus in his very soul and sending him to his knees with a hiss of agony. It felt like Dementor presense, only hot instead of cold. Deathly life, instead of living death. Director Quirke cried out beside him, clutching at her head.

The chamber was loud with shouts of panic and pain as the Veil of Death suddenly billowed outward, tearing apart with a gut-wretching low-pitched wail like nothing Albus had ever heard before. Through the tatters of the torn Veil, a writhing mass of chaos exploded into the chamber, moving like a creature and like a machine and like flowing water all at the same time.

Albus tore his burning eyes away from the sight that hurt his mind just to look upon. It was there, yet had no perceptible substance. It was as though the world had been erased where the thing's tentacles stretched, carving maddening voids from reality itself.

"Bombada!" one of the Unspeakables cried desperately.

The cry rallied others, and Albus surprised himself by being the first to rise, Kinwand flashing into his hand. He had to blink fearcely and turn away every few seconds as the sight of the eldritch monstrosity tore painfully at his brain, but Albus forced himself to take aim anyway.

Before he could cast anything, Albus saw what was happening to that first Unspeakable and froze in terror. There was still a jet of light connecting the wizard's wand to the otherworldly being. Albus' eyes wouldn't focus on the place where it joined with the creature but it was thickening and glowing brighter and the Unspeakable was screaming like he was under the Cruciatus.

The beam of magic went out like a snuffed candle and the Unspeakable crumpled to the stone floor, eyes wide and unseeing. The eldritch being swelled and roiled, but after just a few seconds it seemed to wilt and an alien cry of desperation filled Albus' mind. He collapsed and clapped his hands over his ears. The sound was like the sight of the thing; something his brain couldn't process and would damage itself trying.

Albus forced his head up through the agony and saw death coming for him. The other Unspeakables were trying to flee, but their own wands were drawn like magnets to the writhing void, dragging them to their dooms as they frantically and futiley tried to release their grips. Albus was trying to dismiss his Kinwand, but it wouldn't vanish and was already starting to drag his hand towards the eldritch being.

More Unspeakables fell dead as beams of light connected their wands to the creature and then winked out. As Albus' own arm was forced upwards, his terror was oddly quiet. It wasn't blind fear he felt, but a deep sorrow. There were a lot of things he had wanted to do with his life, but there was only one thought that ran through his mind over and over as he was dragged to his doom. One thing - the only thing - that seemed important in that moment.

He'd never gotten his chance to have a real girlfriend, and now he never would. He was going to die having never known love. If there was just one thing I wish I could have had before I died, it is that.

As that thought filled his mind, his Kinwand connected to the eldritch creature and his existence became agony. And then, without warning, the agony stopped and was replaced by joyous relief. The feeling was not his own, Albus knew, but could not understand more than that.

He was in the midst of the creature, and couldn't even tell if his eyes were open or closed until he saw a solid shape hovering before him. It was a brain. Albus watched, transfixed, as a skull formed around the brain, followed by a spine. Piece by piece, and entire skeleton formed. The writhing chaos contracted, coallesing into flesh and blood and internal organs until muscle was enveloped by skin and hair sprouted.

That was when Albus figured out that his eyes were closed, because suddenly the inside of his lids was all he could see, and even though he could have sworn he'd watched a human body form from the inside out right in front of him, he had no idea what it actually looked like. He felt cold stone under him and realized he'd collapsed onto his back at some point.

Albus opened his eyes and found himself staring into the face of the most gorgeous girl he'd ever seen. His heart literally lurched as the shock of the sight struck him. She was leaning over him with hands and knees on either side of him, studying his face intently.

Her eyes were red, but the sparkling red of a ruby in pheonix fire, a warm and welcoming shade. Her messy hair was a blonde so silver not even Aunt Luna's color could compare, and her skin was very dark, but thin somehow - it played with the light in a way that made the shape and texture of her body much more visible than it should have been with a shade that dark. The shape and texture of her body was especially obvious because she was completely nude, but Albus only registered that in a detached sort of way as he stared breathlessly.

Objectivly, she was very pretty, but far from a flawless classical beauty. Cute, was the word that came to mind, looking at her face, more than beautiful. Yet, for Albus, there was a primal familiarity to her, as though her features were tailored specifically to evoke his attraction -

Albus' train of thought derailed and crumpled to dust as the alien girl bent down and fastened her lips to his. He was far too out of sorts to respond at all, but the girl pulled away after only a moment.

"I am Minnav'ahk'rallahn," she said in a tone as if only just realizing it herself, staring into his eyes. "I am your girlfriend."

After everything that had just happened, Albus didn't even know how to begin to respond to that, and half suspected he had hit his head at some point and was now hallucinating. Several minutes passed before Albus' thoughts settled into something resembling functional.

"Are you the being that came through the Veil?" he finally asked.

She seemed to think for a moment and mouth the word "veil" before answering, "Yes. I was."

"What do you want? Why did you kill everyone?" Albus asked.

"Kill?" she repeated, eyes widening as she sat back on her haunches and looked around worriedly at the unmoving bodys scattered around. "Their minds have ceased to function, and my actions caused this cessation?"

Albus pushed himself up so he was sitting with the dark-skinned naked girl crouching over his legs and tried not to stare at her generous, shapely breasts. "I believe so, yes."

"That is unfortunate," Minnav'ahk'rallahn said as she looked down at him, eyes shimmering with tears. "What is this I am feeling? My eyes, sting - yes, that is the word - and my neck, my throat is tight. And there is a hollowness in my abdomen."

"That sounds like grief, or sorrow, maybe," Albus said.

"Grief. Sorrow," she repeated. "That seems appropriate."

Albus pushed himself to his feet and his mind raced as the implications of the alien girl's behavior sunk in. She was from somewhere or something truly alien, yet she had taken human form to the extent that she was experiencing emotions like a human, and assuming no subterfuge, was neither intentionally hostile nor inentionally malevolent. She had knowledge of human concepts and english language, but it was incomplete or perhaps simply incohesive. There was a puzzle in her very existance and perhaps clues to the nature of reality itself in how and why she would take human form in the first - Albus' thoughts ground to a halt as something else sank in.

"Er, what did you mean when you said you were my girlfriend," Albus asked, leaning down and taking her hand - since he figured there was a decent chance of her not understanding if he simply offered her his hand - and helped her up.

"I am your girlfriend," she said, standing close and looking at him intently. "That is my purpose."

Albus felt heat rise to his face as the nude girl said those words with apparent sincerity, but he fought down the urge to reach forward and touch her, and asked, "Why is that your purpose?"

"When I... fell... into this universe, its three-dimensional nature began to crush me," she said after several moments consideration. "I was dying, and unable to pull myself back into my own realm, so I used the only pandimensional substance on hand to hold a pocket of space open for myself, but it broke down quickly and I didn't know how I was going to survive after I depleted the material that was within my reach."

"The magic," Albus understood. "You didn't realized what it was at first, did you?"

"No," she said, looking down. "Not until I used it to reconstruct bits of myself and discovered other minds connected to it. I didn't understand that taking it would permanently damage those minds. Destroy those minds."

She looked so sad. Albus' heart lurched and the sane, cautious part of him was overcome by the urge to comfort her. Her breathing hitched as he took her into his arms.

"Oh," she said, looking surprised. "This is pleasant. Hugging? What is this I'm feeling now? I'm associating it with warmth, but I don't understand how an emotion could be connected to temperature."

"That sounds like comfort," Albus said with a slight smile. "Which is good, because that's what I was going for."

Minnav'ahk'rallhn said nothing as she leaned her nude body into Albus' robes. Her body fit in his embrace so well she could have been designed for it. It occured to Albus that this might actually be the case, and would also explain the strangely powerful attractive familiarity of her features.

"You didn't actually explain why being my girlfriend is your supposed purpose," Albus prompted after a moment.

She nodded into his shoulder. "I didn't. The magic wasn't going to sustain me, and I was running out quickly, but when I moved on to yours, not knowing what else to do, I found something in your mind I could use as a purpose to anchor myself to. It was both specific enough to latch onto and broad enough that I could wrap myself in it for protection, and by doing so, use it to fashion myself into a form that could survive in this universe. I am bound to this body and this purpose until it is fulfilled."

"And the purpose you found in my mind - the only thing I was thinking was that I didn't want to die because I'd never had a girlfriend," Albus said in a moment of awed realization.

"Yes," she said. "To be able to survive the destruction of this body and return to my home realm, I must be Albus Potter's girlfriend sufficiently that you would no longer regret dying for that reason. Will you help me achieve this?"

Albus felt his heart thudding and a blush spreading over his face, but he took Minnav'ahk'rallhn by the shoulders calmly and looked into her sparkling ruby eyes. "I don't know if you understand what you're asking."

"I think I do," she said uncertainly. "Girlfriend is the social construct defining a female member of a mating pair, who mate exclusivly with each other and with the express intention of not producing offspring."

"Er," Albus said, trying hard to order his thoughts. "I don't think just acting according to the rules of the social construct really makes you a girlfriend."

"I don't understand why it wouldn't," she said, frowning a bit in confusion. "My purpose is to be your girlfriend. Girlfriend is a social construct with a definition. Behaving in accordance with that definition should therefore fulfill my purpose."

"Well," Albus said. "You would know better than me how you function."

Minnav'ahk'rallhn nodded, sliding a hand down between them and making Albus jump when she reached his crotch. "Then I should proceed to mate with you. Good, you're aroused."

Albus looked down and realized that he was, in fact, harder than rock. He pulled away from her and took a deep, steadying breath as he looked around the ominously silent stone chamber of Death. He turned back to Minnav'ahk'rallhn, who was looking vaguely worried.

"If," Albus gulped. "If, er, 'mating' with me is what you need to do to get home, I have no objections, but we shouldn't do that here. Someone is eventually going to come looking for one of these people, and that could happen sooner as easily as later. And we should leave this place before anyone sees you. There are many individuals who might not care that these people died by accident."

"Okay," she said, shivering slightly. "I must trust you to guide me. I know nothing of how this world functions except for the basic concepts I absorbed from you when I formed. Would some individuals truly seek to harm me in retribution for these deaths?"

"Sadly, yes," Albus said as he twisted his hand and called his Kinwand into being.

He pointed it at the nearest body and muttered a spell. The cloak unfastened and flew into his hands.

"I'm feeling something new again," Minnav'ahk'rallhn said. "I think it is human fear."

"I'll keep you safe," Albus promised as he showed her how to put the cloak on. "I believe it wasn't your choice or your actions that brought you here. It was something these people did. Am I wrong?"

"No," she said softly as Albus finished fastening the cloak. "I didn't chose to enter this realm."

"So none of this is your fault," Albus said, smiling at her. "I'm going to do my best to make sure you don't suffer for it any more than you already have."

She returned the smile, then reached up and touched her mouth. "I like this feeling. This is a smile, that means this feeling is happiness, right?"

"Usually," Albus said, putting her hood up and then his own. "Hold on to my sleeve and stay close to me. Keep your hood up and don't speak until I tell you it's safe, okay?"

She nodded and gripped his sleeve. Albus took a breath to steady himself and turned to lead her out. They stepped over the bodies and climbed the stone steps to the heavy black door set above. Albus paused in the spinning hub while the wall rotated.

"Exit," he said to the room as soon as it stopped spinning.

A door popped open and Albus strode out of the Department of Mysteries with Minnav'ahk'rallhn in tow. No one bothered the pair of Unspeakables on their way out of the Ministry. The hoods kept their faces obscured and the cloaks were long enough that nobody noticed that one of them had bare feet.

Once in the Atrium, Albus led her behind one of the big standing fireplaces, gripped her arm, and disapparated with a soft crack, taking her home with him.