a/n: this is for minilikescoffee's contest. taaaa-daaaa

Seems like just yesterday

You were a part of me

She kept reaching for him, it was a subconious act, simply out of instinct. but everytime her hand reached for him and she found nothing, another tiny piece of what was left of her heart broke.

I used to stand so tall

I used to be so strong

When she looked at herself in the mirror, she no longer saw the strong, capable, willing and defiant Jade West. No, what she saw was a lonely, weak and vulnerable teenage girls with what seemed like permanent tear streaks down her face.

Your arms around me tight

Everything felt so right

Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong

Every night she dreamed of when she was happy, when he was still there. she wasn't sure whether they were actually dreams or nightmares, all she knew was that when sleeping, she was happy, she was with him and he was with her. Everything was so right, but when she awoke to find that he was no longer by her side, she felt as if someone had carved out her heart.

Now I can't breath

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on

Her life without him wasn't really a life, much less her life. When he was still there she spent every moment possible with him, it may not have been the healthiest addiction, but it was her drug of choice. Now, without him, she felt empty, incomplete, nothing. It was a constant battle just to keep her sanity.

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into peices

She had known before how it felt to be ripped apart by someone you love, and it's not a pleasurable experience. Now, her she is again, torn to peices by someone she loved, and thought loved her back.

Can't deny, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

As talented of an actress as she was, it was impossible for her to mask her pain. She couldn't deny that she was hurting, she didn't have the energy to lie. She had lived in the illusion that they were the ones for each other, that nothing could ever come between them and that they could overcome anything.

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see these tears I cry

She used to go to him with everything, when someone hurt her, he was the only one she would let see the tears. But now, with him gone, she had no one. He had caused her tears and she damn sure wasn't going to let him see them.

Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out

For hating you, I blame myself

She blamed herself, if she hadn't always been so possesive and jealous, maybe he's still be around, maybe she wouldn't be so sad and depressed. She knows that she can't change the past, that she can't go back and fix everything, but that doesn't stop her from wishing she could.

Seeing you kills me now

No, I don't cry on the outside anymore

Anymore...

When she passes him in the halls of Hollywood Arts, she is again overcome with sadness. She can feel herself dying on the inside, knowing that he is right there, seeing him, and not being able to kiss him again call him hers.

a/n: okay, i'm not completely pleased with this, but after i re-wrote it about three times, i decided to leave it like this. :) hope you liked it.

P.S. oh my good lord, i just watched Jade Dumps Beck, and i STILL have to say "aawww" at the end. is that bad?