Family Portrait
Mama, please stop crying, I can't bear the sound
Your pain is painful and it's tearing me down
Rose Weasley felt a spasm of pain at the sound of her mother's desperate sobs. Never before had she wanted to tear out her hair in frustration.
She hated this.
Hearing her mother cry nearly every damn night was tearing at her insides. Of course she should've gotten used to it. It'd been nearly five years since all the trouble started; Rose could remember it clearly.
Her father, Ronald Weasley, had come home early one day with a sombre expression on his worn face. He and Rose's mother Hermione went into the kitchen to talk and before she knew it, Rose heard was angry shouting and spells being thrown. Rose had immediately taken her younger brother Hugo into her room and sat there on her bed, saying comforting words to him, to try and make him stop crying.
It was all for nothing, of course.
Mostly she was just trying to convince herself.
I hear glasses breaking as I sit up in my bed
I told Dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said
Another hex was thrown and Rose winced, trying to ignore the sound of delicate and fragile glass smashing. The shouts grew even louder, though Rose couldn't make out the words entirely.
Now, five years later, Rose was used to the shouting and fighting between her parents nearly every night. She half-expected to hear them and wasn't disappointed for the argument to proceed. Rose was in her fourth year at Hogwarts, the top of her class, like her mother before her. If only everyone knew what had become of the smart and witty Hermione Granger....
Rose wasn't an idiot.
She knew what first caused the fights.
Her father lost his job. He was too lazy to look for another and they relied heavily on Rose's uncle, Harry. He was too rich for his own good. After some time, Hermione had gotten frustrated and the arguments became more frequent. Hugo, always so scared when his parents fought, came in with tears in his eyes to Rose.
However, this time, Rose could hear music blasting from Hugo's room, drowning out the sounds of her parents yelling.
Rose smiled wistfully, grateful for her brother.
She knew this pained him as much as it did her; you could see it every day on his face whenever he tried to smile. The only time Hugo Weasley ever smiled genuinely, was if he was at Hogwarts, away from his home.
You fight about money, about me and my brother
And this, I come home to, this is my shelter
The fights had turned from Ron losing his job to other things that aggravated the couple. Now they were about nearly everything. Rose even heard her father cuss about her uncle Harry, saying that he had it easier than they did. Rose couldn't help but think that it was like this because her parents didn't try hard enough. She hated thinking like that, but she didn't know what else to think.
At times, she hated her parents.
But then she would start to feel guilty and she would chastise herself for even thinking such thoughts.
Though, more often than usual, she would retreat to her uncle and aunt's house. At least their home was a peaceful one. Harry and Ginny Potter were still very much in love with each other. James, Albus and Lily had it easy enough; they didn't hear their parents yelling at each other every night, Rose thought bitterly.
It ain't easy growing up in World War III, never knowing what love could be
You see, I don't want love to destroy me like it has done my family
Rose had quite a reputation at Hogwarts.
She was closed off from everyone else apart from her brother and her cousins. She never really spoke to anyone, was never friends with anyone. In truth, she thought that if you loved, you hurt more. She watched her parents for too long to know that.
Love only hurts people, Rose concluded, and so she never got close to anybody. Why would she want to be a slave of the feeling when it tore apart everything she knew? Her parents loved each other, that was why they didn't leave one another – and Rose didn't want her family to split up.
Though, in a way, Rose did want her parents to leave each other.
That way, they couldn't hurt each other anymore.
And they wouldn't hurt Rose and her brother.
It was really simple and understandable, Rose thought, so why didn't they end the pain right there?
She thought she had the answer, but one could never be too right.
Fear.
They'd lose their security if they split. It wouldn't be a happy family anymore. Rose didn't think she could cope if her family wasn't whole.
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better. Mummy, I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better. Daddy, please don't leave
Rose always heard her father say that he was going to leave her mother and take Rose and Hugo with him. She knew he wouldn't though. He never did.
But every time he said those words, Rose had a feeling he eventually would. Ronald didn't want to split up with Hermione, but what better option could there be? As always, fear won out and Ron stayed, drunk off his arse and hurting the family even more. Rose didn't think she could stand it anymore.
She wanted to yell. And scream and shriek and cry and throw a tantrum, just to get her parents' attentions. They were always so caught up in their own agony that they never stopped to think about their children.
And Rose couldn't help but hate them.
Though, when the yelling started, Rose felt the hatred burn away. She always heard the pain in her father's voice as he bellowed himself hoarse, trying to defend himself against Hermione's accusations. Rose found herself wanting to get up and just leaving the place. The thought of walking off her anger and hurt, of smelling the fresh air and clearing her head.... The urge was very overwhelming.
In fact.... too overwhelming.
And she always thought about it.
Always in her head ran the the words:
Run away.
Daddy, please stop yelling. I can't stand the sound
Make Mama stop crying cause I need you around
My Mama, she loves you, no matter what she says, it's true
I know that she hurt you, but remember I love you too
Whenever Rose woke up in the morning and went down to breakfast, her father would always be up and ready, eating breakfast. Her mother and Hugo would always be asleep still, leaving Rose to deal with her ill-tempered father. Rose wanted nothing more than to say something comforting to her dad, but she knew that he wouldn't listen. He never listened to anyone, except his own mother.
But, most unfortunately, not even Molly Weasley could get her youngest son off the couch and give up drinking.
Rose admired her grandmother so much. In the times when Rose would slowly lose it, she would think about living with her grandparents instead. The thought was so tempting, Rose nearly cried hysterically from wanting it. Plus, it didn't help that Ron didn't want his daughter to even set foot outside their home. Rose always felt like slapping her father stupid. Maybe then, he'd listen.
But, as always, he never did.
And Rose had had enough of it.
When she returned to her room, she got some spare clothes, her hair brush, her music and her toothbrush. Then she packed the items into a backpack and put it on her shoulders, her mind already made up. She'd go to her grandparents for the day, just for a few hours. She could never truly run away from home; it'd be just too much for her to handle.
I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have no choice, no way
It ain't easy, growing up in World War III, never knowing what love could be
Well, I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me like it has done my family
Her parents freaked out, to say the least. They went all over looking for Rose and when they found her at her grandparents' place, they were livid. Hugo was scared again, avoiding his sister as if she was an Egyptian plague.
Rose was, of course, grounded and her parents had put a spell on her room so that she couldn't get out.
She felt trapped.
Never before had they taken any notice when her grandmother came over to take Rose and Hugo to her place. But now when she went on her own, they went back to their usual parent selves.
Rose had never felt more bitter and angry in her entire life.
She spent quite a long time in her room, refusing to come out for anything. When her mother came knocking on her door, she didn't answer. So her mum just walked in and acted like she owned the damn room.
"What do you want?" Rose spat furiously. Hermione sighed and sat next to her daughter on her bed, saying, "Rose, please promise me that you'll never do that again. I was so worried about you—"
"For the first time in your life," Rose interrupted, not caring if she was rude.
Hermione bit her lip and sighed, saying, "Rose... I know it's been hard on you. It's been hard on all of us—"
"Oh, and you realise that now?" Rose snarled, turning away from her mother, who looked close to tears. Rose heard a sniff and turned around, feeling suddenly guilty as her mother burst out sobbing. Shit, Rose thought, before enveloping her mother into a tight embrace, her heart heavy and wishing.
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it comes naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays, I don't want two addresses
I don't a stepbrother anyways, and I don't want my mum to have to change her last name
But some wishes just never come true.
And this is not a Cinderella story.
