Stand By Me-The Second Time Around
"In simplicity there is truth."- River Phoenix
Prologue
I sat still in my jeep for a few more minutes and observed the newspaper. It didn't matter how long I stared at it, I still couldn't let it sink in. Attorney Christopher Chambers Fatally Stabbed In Restaurant. I immediately began to have a flashback. I was twelve going on thirteen the first time I saw a dead human being. It happened in the summer of 1959…
Chapter 1
The funeral atmosphere made me depressed. The air was thick and my suit was beginning to cling in all the wrong places. People sat on every side of me either crying, letting their head hang, or making fists and clutching their mouths shut to keep from bawling. There wasn't much of an emotion inside of me. I was empty. Chris. Dead. He hadn't deserved it. I held my head up to search for any possible signs of Teddy or Vern. I couldn't imagine them not being here. They had to be. But no. I couldn't find them.
Walking to my jeep at the end of the service, I noticed something unusual flittering in the slight breeze on my cars windshield. I held out my hand to grab it but before I could I felt a hand slap down on my shoulder. I flipped around and smacked the person in the face without hesitation. But when I took my hand away, all I could do was let my mouth hang open. One word escaped, "Teddy." Indeed, it was Teddy. "Shit man, why the hell did you scare me like that?" I laughed now though and looked him in the eye. He grinned his Teddy grin and said, "Hey man, haven't seen you in a while."
"Yeah, I know. Do you know if Vern is here?"
"Nah, haven't seen him. Then again, how would we be able to tell who he is? Could be anyone. I mean, you've definitely changed."
"Really? You haven't."
"Yeah. I know. So how've you been?" Teddy asked.
"Well, pretty good. Until of course I read the newspaper."
"Yeah. Sure as hell was depressing. I was in the bathroom when my wife let out a scream. I thought someone had like broken in so I ran out to find her. She ended up being in the living room and she had just dropped the newspaper. The cover flashed up at me. Attorney Christopher Chambers Fatally Stabbed In Restaurant."
"Yeah…" I felt awkward trying to keep the conversation going with my old friend. So I turned to my jeep to grab the paper. It read, "Gordie, tree house."
"Weird," I said aloud.
"What?" Teddy asked curiously.
I showed him the paper and he raised his eyebrows at me. We both said it at the same time, "Vern."
Chapter 2
Teddy laughed at the memory. He remembered the day. Teddy, Chris, and I had been sitting up in the tree house in late August playing a card game (I can't remember which one) when suddenly we heard a knocking. I had replied with, "That's not the secret knock." Then the voice out side said, "I forget the secret knock. Let me in." The three of us all answered at the same time, "Vern." That was a day I'd never forget. Not because of Vern not remembering the secret knock, but because that was the day we decided to go looking for a dead body of a kid our age, Ray Brower. It was one of the best times of my life, being there with my friends even though I knew my dad hated me.
Teddy must have been having a similar memory because we both realized we were just standing next to each other silently. I spoke first and said, "Let's go to the tree house then?"
"Of course," he replied.
So we walked in silence up the familiar streets of Castle Rock. It hadn't changed much since then. Everything was still there. There were only two differences. The town seemed a lot smaller and Chris wasn't with us anymore. I sighed as we strode past the spot where Chris had handed me his loaded .45. "Halked it of my old man's bureau. It's a .45." He had said. The memories in this town were just too overwhelming. I tried not to think of Chris too much. It made me so sad to realize he was gone, after how I knew he had always cared for me. He was always there to comfort me when I needed him to and remind me of the important things. I looked at Teddy and knew he was thinking it as well. Chris had always tried to get Teddy out of trouble. He had saved his ass so many times. I could tell Teddy had wanted to thank him at some point… but now he hadn't gotten his chance.
We finally walked up the small slope leading to the tree house. I was surprised to see it still there, expecting that someone would have torn it down long ago. But there it was, in pretty good condition. I was a bit nervous to climb the ladder again, not because it looked unstable, but because I knew that I'd see Vern again for the first time in 10 years.
I knocked three times, the secret knock, and waited for a response. After a few moments of getting nothing, I just climbed up. Looking in, the first thing I saw was a tough, sturdy looking man. This couldn't be. It wasn't. From beneath me Teddy practically shouted, "Hey man, why aren't you moving your ass up that ladder?" I didn't respond, as I was speechless to what I was seeing. "Vern?" I questioned. The man laughed, "Who else?" I broke into a grin.
"No way man, no way." I laughed.
"Yup, it's me."
As he said this, Teddy climbed up into the tree house. When he saw Vern he immediately started to break into his laughter. "Eee heee."
He obviously couldn't believe it either.
Chapter 3
Teddy didn't stop laughing for what seemed like two whole minutes. I was shocked he could still laugh like that. 10 years of not having spoken to him should have changed something but apparently it hadn't. Vern sat dumbfounded for a few more moments and finally said, "Well hello to you too, old friend." Teddy finally shut up and tried to keep a straight face. He sat down on a cardboard box in front of Vern and looked him straight in the eye. "Hello Verno." I sat down as well. We couldn't find much to say for a while so for the time I searched around the tree house. Not much seemed different from the time we had spent in there. There was more garbage than before, definitely but it looked like no one had spent much time in here for a while.
Finally I spoke, "Wow, when was the last time we came up here?" Teddy fumbled with his fingers and looked up at me.
"Must have been before we went looking for Ray Brower. I don't think we came up here after that."
I nodded and my stomach dropped. So the last time we were here was when we had decided to go looking for the body. My eyes landed on a shelf that held a bunch of junk, beer cans and other stuff. But one thing immediately caught my eye. A box of Winston's. Teddy and Vern noticed me glancing at it and turned to look. "What?" Vern asked.
"The Winston's. You don't think…" I left my sentence hanging.
They both knew what I was referencing right away.
"Nah, it can't be. It's been like 27 years. Not possible."
I shrugged but still had a hope in my heart that that could have been Chris' box of Winston's. The box he had had with him on that hot August day.
I walked to the shelf and picked it up. It had to be his box. It looked extremely old and there were only two cigarettes left in it. I turned it around to look at the back. I let out a gasp and turned to Teddy and Vern. There, in bolded Sharpie were the letters C, H, R, I, S. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or burst out laughing. I just put the box down and sat back on the chair. "So Vern, why did you want us to come to the tree house? After all this time."
"No. First I got to ask how he possibly changed his look. What the hell happened man?" Teddy grinned. Vern just rolled his eyes and ignored him to look back at me.
"I wanted to meet here. We should talk again." He stated simply.
I nodded slightly, "I agree."
"I think that Chris would have wanted us to all meet up again at some point."
When Vern said this my heart almost stopped. I felt guilt for never calling Chris or bothering to get in contact with him. I guess I had always been waiting for him to call first. I nodded again. Teddy remained speechless which would have been very unusual back when we were young. Vern continued talking, "And…. I found something." my head jerked up at this note. Teddy had raised eyebrows. Vern reached down onto the wood floor of the tree house and picked up an envelope. I gulped. He took his time opening it slowly. Then he paused and turned the front of the envelope to Teddy and me. In small, jerky print read To Gordie, Teddy, and Vern: April 16, 1986. The letter wasn't even a month old. I knew it was from Chris. Who else? Vern went back to opening it. He pulled out three separate notes. One he handed to me. It was addressed to Gordie Lachance.
Chapter 4
Dear Gordie,
I know it's been forever since we talked and I feel bad for that. I meant to call but I couldn't get myself to do it. So I decided to write this to you to make sure you know that I never stopped being your friend. I know, call me a pussy if you want to. I had an idea recently. I thought that we should all meet up again. So I hope you find this letter. My plan is for us to have one more "adventure" together, for lack of a better word. I want to see if there's any way we could head back to the back Harlow road and look for Ray Brower's bucket of blueberries. Wow, don't I sound like a little kid. I hope you're doing well. And well, if you don't find this letter for a while then oh well. Just know that you have always been my best friend. And also, you've got to head back to the place where we found Ray Brower's body. It's important. Skin it.
Your Friend always, Chris.
Once I put the letter down I was immediately confused. Why was it so important to go to the back Harlow road again? Plus, I had no desire to follow our 27 year old footsteps back to the place where we discovered Ray Brower's body. It would be way too depressing. I looked back up at Vern and Teddy. Vern had already finished his letter. It was lying face down on the little table in front of him. Teddy was still scanning his and were those tears I saw?
"So what did yours say?" I asked Teddy and Vern.
They didn't seem to want to reply. Teddy laughed, "He asked if I still thought Vern was the biggest pussy."
Vern faked laughed like he used to do, "Ha-ha, very funny."
"No actually he wrote that he knew I was grateful for his help." Teddy looked down.
Vern nodded, "He wrote something strange, something about us having to go back to the back Harlow road. It was super important?"
"Yeah same here," replied Teddy.
"Yup, same," I said.
I thought for a minute while we all sat processing this information. We all must have been thinking the same thing. If Chris said it was important, then it was important. He really wanted us to go back.
"So, should we?" I wondered.
"Well hell yeah. We haven't spoken with each other for an eternity." Teddy cried.
Now this was the Teddy I knew, the one always up for an adventure.
I grinned, "I'm in for sure."
Teddy looked to Vern, "Now don't be a pussy Verno. You're coming along either way so don't even try to get yourself out of it."
Vern grimaced at Teddy, "Quit being a child. Remember that time in the leech pond, you said 'I'm in the prime of my youth, and I'll only be young once.' Well, indeed, you may not be young anymore, but you sure haven't grown up my friend."
Teddy broke into laughter, stood up, and patted Vern on the shoulder.
"So you're in?" "Yeah, I'm in."
Chapter 5
"Great so let's go." Teddy practically jumped up high enough to break through the roof of the tree house.
"Whoa, whoa, not so fast now." I tried to get Teddy to sit back down. "We can't just leave now."
Teddy sighed and sat down. "Why not?" He sounded like a little child.
"Why not? What do you mean why not? We have wives and children. Well in exception to one of us," I said looking at Teddy. Vern laughed to which Teddy responded with, "I have a wife thank you very much."
"Really?" Vern had wide eyes.
This was a piece of news to him.
"Guys, the point is that we have to tell our wives where we are going." I said.
"Are you kidding me? They'll freak. Hell no." Typical Vern.
"Why would they freak?" I glared at Vern.
"Well- I don't know." He stopped after he realized he had nothing to say.
"So we go back home and tell them that we will be gone for a few days." Teddy stated matter-of-factly.
We all agreed in silence as we nodded our heads ever so slightly. I was the first to walk back to the ladder and climb down onto the ground below me. As my head was about to disappear below the floor of the tree house, I took a last look around. My eyes landed on the old box of Winston's that had been Chris'. I pictured Chris when we had both been walking and talking as we went looking for Ray Brower. He had said, "Hey I got some Winston's. Halked them off my old man's dresser, one piece for after supper."
Geez today had been a memory filled day. It was a bit too much to take.
I was jolted back to reality when Teddy kicked my softly in the head so I would move. I stepped onto the ground with Vern and Teddy following behind me. Once we were all standing next to each other, Vern said, "Well see you in a few hours. Should we meet at the small bridge?"
I nodded, "Yeah, see you soon." I still wasn't exactly sure what we were trying to accomplish by doing this again. We might have just been completely insane. We probably were. It still didn't seem right without Chris though. I almost didn't want to do it unless Chris was with us. He was the peacekeeper, the best friend, the tough guy, and he had a really good heart.
I remembered one of the last times I had spoken to him. He had given me his fathers loaded .45.
"Don't worry Gordie. My old man won't even notice. He's so drunk he can't even think straight."
"Why the hell do I need this thing?" I had asked.
He had laughed and replied with, "In case you ever come across that asshole Ace Merrill again. Shoot him. And don't be some reluctant to shoot this time."
Chapter 6
We started walking at around 4 p.m., taking the same route we had 27 years ago. Of course it looked quite different now, although it was still mostly open emptiness. We followed the train tracks and walked mostly in silence up until we came to the junk yard. "We gonna scale it again?" Teddy asked me.
"I don't know, let's just keep walking." While I said this though I had a sudden urge to go back to the junkyard and sit by the old truck like we had many years ago. I looked through the fence to see if this place was still even being used. I laughed out loud when I remembered that fat ass Milo Pressman and his dog Chopper, the most feared and least seen dog in Castle Rock. What a joke it all had been. We had discovered it first-hand.
The junk yard looked even older than it had in the 60's, but there were still old trucks and cars just lying around.
"Oh hell, fine, we'll illegally scale it again," I said with a grin.
"Sweet. Take no prisoners!" Teddy shouted and started climbing the fence. Vern followed and I came last. Once we were over the fence, we ran back to the old pump and threw down the few things we had brought with us, like sleeping bags and water and food. Yes, this time we hadn't forgotten the necessities. I even had the .45 with me. I wasn't totally sure why, I guess I just didn't feel complete without it. We sat in the same general area as before and talked about memories of Chris we had or things we remembered about him. We discovered that there had been many things left unsaid in the past 27 years. Teddy and Vern especially got emotional when discussing him because they felt guilty for fading away from us in junior high. After dark we continued our path to the place where we found Ray Brower's dead body and we managed not to encounter any crazy men like Milo who would rank people's fathers.
We finally got to the bridge where so long ago Vern and I had almost been killed. It was pitch black, especially in the woods, but we weren't too worried that a train would be coming around this late at night. So we made it across safely without any dropping of combs or crawling of Vern's or terrified screaming and running. At the other side we found a place to build a fire at sleep for the night. Teddy and Vern both begged for another one of my stories but tonight I was too tired for it. I felt like a 12-year-old again when Teddy and Vern acted like this. Sometimes I wished though that I could be that young again, not having to care what I talked about with Chris or the others. We were just there for each other and we talked about pointless shit. That was one of the wonders of being young.
As we lie in our sleeping bags, we heard the howling of coyotes again and for a few seconds I thought it could only be my imagination. I was just having a flashback but then I noticed Vern jolt up and quietly whisper, "Oh shit."
I tried to ignore the howling but I couldn't. It sounded like it was getting closer, and then my brain was filled with the echoes of it. I tried to cover my ears and roll over. I could imagine Vern lying in his sleeping bag thinking, "Maybe we should stand guard."
I curled up and focused on trying to sleep but right before I dozed off I swear I saw Chris leaning up against a tree a few yards away with the .45 in his hands, looking at me and whispering, "Go back to sleep."
Chapter 7
I woke up the next morning while the sun was rising. Vern and Teddy were both also just getting up and yawning. I got out of my sleeping bag and stood up slowly, looking at the hills and the horizon around me. The train tracks were barely a few yards away and I could hear a train not to far away, heading in our direction. At this moment I realized that we were lying in the exact same area that we had when we had come on this trip the 1st time. I felt idiotic for not having realized it before. The sun was in the same spot as it had been all those years ago and there were only trees surrounding us. I even recognized the small slope leading us to the tree we had stood guard at. I remembered sitting against it with Chris that one night, the first time I had ever heard him cry. I realized that night that Chris wasn't as tough as I thought he had been. It wasn't a bad thing. He had had emotions he needed to let out.
I told Vern and Teddy that we should keep moving to get to the place where Ray Brower's body had been. I didn't want to spend another minute here dwelling on the past. I already hadn't wanted to come on this trip anyway. So we kept walking, talking only occasionally to ask the others for some water. For being early May, it was actually quite humid and hot outside, almost as hot as August, 1959 had been.
By the afternoon of May 5 we had made it to the oh-so-famous leech pond which looked very similar to how it had long ago. It was still murky and brown and disgusting looking. When I looked to the other side I swore that I could still see our footsteps and the body imprints of me with Vern, Teddy, and Chris on top of me, trying to suffocate me. I remembered it quite clearly how we had all danced around and screamed when we discovered there were leeches all over us, and worst of all the leech hanging from my balls. This was the moment when Chris was considering bringing me back. But I had refused because we had already gone so far and I had so desperately wanted to see the body of this kid. I hadn't known at the time why, and now I'm still not certain.
But now, while we stood on one side of the pond for the second time, Teddy, Vern, and I still weren't sure what to do. The first time hadn't worked out so well for us.
"Maybe we should have stuck to the tracks this time," Teddy said.
"Well who's the pussy now Duchamp?" Vern said.
I laughed with the both of them for the first time in a long time.
"Should we just walk across like last time?" I suggested.
"Ah hell, might as well," Vern stated simply. Both Teddy and I were surprised at the fact that he gave no hesitation.
We walked across again. This time quickly, hoping no leeches would stick to us.
At the other side, the three of us stood up and took off our shirts to check for any signs. There were none this time.
"Thank god," Vern sighed. After letting our clothes dry and just sitting around for the most part, we continued on. The wind was starting to pick up now and it looked like it would rain soon from up ahead. In no time we came up to the back Harlow road. It looked very familiar to all of us, though the vibe of the situation felt a bit different. We didn't have Chris along this time and well, this time we weren't looking for a dead body. This time… well we weren't exactly sure why we had to come. It was just decided that if Chris said it was important then it definitely had to be.
As we walked along the tracks and looked around for the spot where Ray Brower had been, we all started to hear the sound of tires being dragged across the ground. A car was headed our way.
Chapter 8
My heart almost stopped. The car was cruising along beside the train tracks. Whoever was in there was heading straight towards me and the other two. Just as I thought he was about to run directly into me, the car came to a full stop. A man stepped out. The first impression that I got from him was that he wasn't the nice kind. He seemed to be hiding an even grin. His hair was floppy and blonde and he was pretty big. He looked very familiar, scarily familiar. After only a few seconds I immediately knew who it was. Vern and Teddy must not have because they stood a few feet in front of me, looking half scared and half confused.
"Ace," I said out loud.
"Aw Shiiitt," Vern said like he used to when he got scared.
After I said his name I realized what Chris had told me one of the last times we had talked. He had said to shoot Ace immediately and not to be reluctant. I was ready to grab my pistol from out of my back pack but before I could I heard a gun shot. I looked up and saw Ace was holding up a gun and just a few feet next to me was Vern, lying on the ground with blood gushing out of his stomach. Teddy was standing next to him, his mouth hanging open, speechless.
"Told you I'd get you some day," Ace directed at all of us.
I was about to get out the .45 but before I had the chance, Merrill was back in his car and zooming off down the tracks.
I ran over to where Vern was lying. This couldn't be happening. He was still alive, but barely. There was no chance in hell we would get him back alive. Vern started stuttering and trying to speak, but he couldn't. Then he took a weak hand and pointed it in the direction of the place where we had found the Brower kids body. He obviously wanted us to go there and find out what Chris had wanted us to go back for. Teddy and I tried carrying him. We succeeded in finding the correct spot of where Ray had lied.
Shockingly, his keds were still on the branch, dangling there. Vern couldn't hold on much longer but I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be seeing. For a moment I got very angry at Chris. Why had he dragged us all this way for nothing? Teddy and I were silent as we didn't know what to do. But then I had a moment of hope when I saw a small heap of sand near the bushes. I motioned to Teddy and I started to walk towards it.
I kneeled down and started digging with my bare hands. After a few inches I came to a hard object. There was definitely something there. It looked like some sort of small treasure chest. When I had dug deep enough to lift it out Teddy immediately came over. We both opened it slowly. I didn't really know what to expect. Maybe nothing. But inside I found 2 objects and a note. One was my Yankee cap; another was a comb (I suspected it was for Vern). Teddy looked upset that there was nothing in there for him. I handed him the note at the bottom of the chest. He started to slowly open it and while he did I turned to see if Vern was ok. I crawled over to him and handed him the comb. He took it in his hands, looked at it, and slowly began to smile. After that, his eyes went blank.
Chapter 9
It felt almost as if my heart had just died. I didn't know how to respond. Teddy was sitting directly behind me with the letter tightly wrapped in his left hand, his eyes glazed over. He was staring at Vern's limp dead body holding the comb in his right hand. I shook Teddy's shoulder to get him out of the trance and once he snapped back into reality he began to slowly pry open the letter. He pulled out the note and unfolded it. In small scrawly writing was Chris' handwriting
Dear Teddy,
I hope you haven't forgotten about me but considering that you have received and are reading this then I assume you got my previous note in the tree house. I just wanted you to know that although you stopped being my friend a long time ago, I never stopped being yours. It's true. It's really too bad that we all ended up drifting apart. But why dwell on the past? After all, it is the past. I'm also sorry that all I left you in this little box was a letter but I realized not too long ago that I had nothing significant that applied to you. I of course would have given you the .45 but I already gave that over to Gordie. Oh yes, that reminds me, I wish you luck in getting into the army, if of course that is still a dream of yours. With the love you have for it, I know you can make it, despite your ear and your eyes. So now you might be left wondering why I even bothered to come on this crazy expedition all over again. Well, I don't exactly know either. But that's the beauty of life, not knowing exactly why you are doing something, just doing it. Like a smoke after a meal right? You have to cherish life's moments. I hope to see you soon man.
Chris
I read along with Teddy and afterwards I felt strangely enlightened. This whole time since Chris had died, there had been this guilt and pain being carried around on my heart and now it was gone. Teddy had an expression on his face that also suggested he felt enlightened, so enlightened in fact, that he stood up with the letter in his hand, held it up to the sun, and tore it into a million pieces, watching them glide back to the ground.
The both of us had only one problem left over though. How were we going to go back to Castle Rock and tell Vern's family that he had been killed? In the end we decided to cover him with as many long branches as we could collect. We left the comb in his hands and walked home where we told his family what had happened. They ended up coming back for him with the cops to give him a proper burial. I suggested burying him right there where he had died, right by the train tracks and right next to the glimmering lake, because this was the place where he seemed to belong. It was the place where we had all ended our journey together.
