Hey guys! My first Lily/ James fic! The whole fic is COMPLETELY AU and inspired by and based on Speak Now by Taylor Swift so don't be surprised when I used her song lyrics for some parts in the story. Hope you guys like it! 8D
*I don't own Harry Potter or Speak Now
Speak Now
Chapter One - Oneshot
Lily was not the kind of girl who rudely barged in on a white-veiled occasion. Such as the one she was planning to intrude on; a wedding. More specifically, the wedding of her guy best friend. The guy best friend she was also madly and hopelessly in love with.
"I can't do this." Lily said to Mary Macdonald, her other best friend. Mary just bit her lip but didn't respond. The two of them were currently in Mary's car on the way to the church. Today was the day. The day Lily had been dreading ever since seeing the thick white envelope on Mary's vanity table. Today was the wedding day. It all started when Lily was over at Mary's house and she just happened to spot the envelope lying innocently on the vanity table…
"Hey Mary, what's this?" Lily inquired. Mary, standing in front of her large wardrobe, looked over at Lily who was holding the thick white envelope, her hands poised to open it. Mary's eyes widened in horror as she gasped, "Lily, don't!" while simultaneously racing to where Lily stood. Mary tried to tackle Lily and wrestle the envelope out of her grasp but it was too late. Lily had already read the elegant script on the card inside the envelope. The card, or more accurately, a thick wedding invitation seemed to wink tauntingly at Lily. Ms. Dorcas Meadowes and Mr. James Potter request your presence on the 8th of August to witness the binding sacrament of Holy Matrimony was written in elegant script on the front of the invitation. It was all Lily could do not to faint. She felt the envelope slip out of her hands and tumble to the floor. Lily felt her knees tremble as she gazed open-mouthed at Mary. Mary looked heartbroken for her. Lily slid to the floor and she let her tears spill out.
"Oh Lily, darling, I'm so sorry." Mary said as she put her arms tightly and comfortingly around her best friend, "Just take deep, calming breaths."
"He's getting married!" Lily managed to choke out. Mary's eyebrows furrowed in concern but she said, "Yes, he is." in a sad whisper only loud enough for Lily to hear
"He never mentioned, he-" Lily was hyperventilating now, "He never said anything!"
"I don't think he wanted you to know." Mary said quietly
"That witch, Dorcas, wouldn't have wanted me to know! She wouldn't have wanted me there! But James-" Lily said but her voice broke when she said his name.
"Were you planning on telling me?" Lily asked Mary a few minutes later when she got her voice back, hurt written clearly on her face
"I was! I was waiting for the right time to tell you but-" Mary said guiltily
"There will never be a right time to know that the man you love is getting married to someone else!" Lily screamed, frustrated and completely heartbroken. Mary flinched at Lily's volume but she didn't let go of her friend. She waited until Lily was done crying herself out.
Lily and James used to loathe each other before they finally started dating for two years. Then they started fighting again and they eventually broke up. Lily tried her best to get over him but it wasn't that easy. She had learned to love him. And now she always will. Their relationship was far from perfect especially their rough and misunderstood start. Then they started dating and it was pure bliss. He was perfect. They were beautiful together. Now everything seemed to be falling apart and slipping away from Lily and all she could find in their relationship were imperfections.
And then James started dating that absolutely horrible witch, Dorcas Meadowes. Dorcas was by far, the snobbiest and bitchiest girl Lily had ever met. They didn't get on well but Lily tried her best to be amiable and friendly even thought it broke her heart. She hid behind fake smiles whenever she was with James. Of course, after James started dating Dorcas, Lily and James just drifted apart.
The sound of a car horn beeping at them startled Lily out of her painful memories. She looked out the car window and saw that they were rounding the corner to get to the church. Lily and Mary stayed quiet until they stopped at the front of the church. Lily turned to Mary with the expression of someone who had just been told that they were the next to experience the guillotine. Mary turned to look at her with a grim and worried expression on her face.
"Do you want to do this?" Mary asked
"No." Lily automatically answered but Mary just looked at her so she said, "Mary, I can't. It'll be embarrassing and it would be unfair to him."
"Life isn't fair, Lily." Mary said bitterly
"I don't care anymore, Mary! As long as he loves her! As long as he's happy, I'm happy for him!" Lily said in a loud voice that's about to crack. Lily and Mary were wearing formal dresses and they looked ready to attend the wedding but one look at their faces and it would be clear that they'd rather not. Lily was wearing a beautiful white dress with the hemline ending just above her knees and her fiery red hair was up in a graceful bun at the top of her head. Mary's dress was similar except it was in pastel pink. They both looked breath-taking.
"Lily, you still love him." Mary said in a sad voice
"So what? The prat doesn't love me anymore." Lily said, this time her voice broke and tears threatened to spill out
"He does. He still does, Lils." Mary said. When Lily looked unconvinced and she ignored her, Mary went on, "I know you two don't hang out anymore but you have to believe me when I say that he's always asking about you! He would always ask me how you are doing when Dorcas isn't around or when she's not listening. He still cares about you. The bloke may not know it but he still loves you! You should see the pain and emotion in his eyes when he sees you! You two are just too stubborn to admit that you still love each other!" Mary said, "And now, if you don't get out of this car, I will have to drag your arse out and interrupt the wedding myself."
Lily looked positively alarmed at Mary's predicament since the latter was usually the calm one and Lily was the one always blowing up. But she thought over what Mary said. And then something in Lily snapped. She wasn't taking this wedding lying down and inviting Dorcas to walk all over her in her deadly stilletos! No, because for once in her life, she wants to fight for James and not with him. Lily looked at Mary one last time, smiled bravely and said, "Wish me luck." before she opened the car door and left Mary in the car alone.
James was not the kind of guy who married the wrong girl. So why was he sweating so much? Why couldn't he stop pacing and why was he so fidgety? Why didn't he feel excited but more like he dreaded saying his vows? No that's ridiculous, James, stop thinking that! You're not dreading anything, you're just really really nervous. James was currently pacing in his dressing room, occasionally looking at himself in the mirror. He saw that he looked a little bit pale and sick. He felt clammy and he kept fiddling with his cufflinks and bow tie. He felt anxious. Like he was waiting for something but felt was not coming. Suddenly the door opened and James stopped pacing. A man with black hair, mysterious grey eyes and was wearing a tuxedo entered. His best man.
"Prongs! You look a little bit… green. Are you okay? Did you eat something bad?" Sirius asked while he approached his best mate
"No I'm fine." James snapped
"Right. Calm down Prongsie. Dorcas is almost done." Sirius said looking a bit worried, "Are you sure you want to do this, mate?"
James just nodded and continued to pace. Sirius noticed this and said, "James, are you sure you're fine? You're not thinking of a particular red head, are you?"
"No, you know it's over between us, Padfoot! And I love Dorcas more than anything!" James said but even as he said these words, they sounded strange to his ears, like it was something unnatural.
"Right, just checking." Sirius said and he sank down comfortably on the sofa in the room.
"Sirius, I need to tell you something," James started, Sirius sat a little bit straighter to show that he was listening, "Go on?"
"I have this weird feeling. It's like I'm waiting for something that I feel is not gonna come. It's like, I dunno, it's sorta like waiting for someone who's not gonna show up." James said
"Someone? You're not waiting for our Lily flower are you? Dorcas didn't invite her." Sirius said, straight to the point.
"I know. It's probably best that she's not here, I might-" James said but was interrupted by a loud knock on his door followed by a familiar voice, "You've got five minutes, James. Bride's coming out."
James and Sirius looked at each other and Sirius stood up from the sofa and said, "That's Moony, let's go."
Lily walked in the church unnoticed by anyone. She felt as if the walk from the bottom of the steps, from where she exited Mary's car, to the church entrance was already sapping her of energy and adrenaline. She needed to sit down and think. She walked incognito and sat down at the last row of pews. She kept to herself in the corner and she had a whole row to herself. Alright think, Lily, are you really gonna do this? She hasn't found the answer yet when the organ started playing a song that sounded like a death march to her ears. Suddenly everyone stood and Lily saw the bride, Dorcas, was gliding down the aisle like a pageant queen, her maid of honor, Evelyn Macmillan, following after her. When Dorcas reached the altar, she looped her arm through James' and they turned to face the priest.
For the duration of the ceremony, Lily had blanked out. She can't believe that she was in this situation. The only words that jolted her out of her blank state were the words spoken by the priest in a clear and challenging voice: "Speak now or forever hold your peace". There's a silence and Lily realized that this was her chance. Her last chance. And without thinking about it, she willed her shaking limbs to obey her. She stoop up.
All eyes were on her. There were horrified looks from everyone in the room. Except from the person that really mattered. Lily was looking straight at him and he looked straight back at her. "I- I'm not the kind of girl that rudely barges in on white-veiled occasion but you are not the kind of guy who should be marrying the wrong girl, James." Lily said. She didn't know where she found her voice or her courage but now that she was speaking, she had to get it all out.
"Don't say yes, we'll run away now. I'll meet you when you're out of the church, out the main door. Don't wait or say a single vow. You need to hear me out. Please. I need to speak now." Lily said with as much emotion and dignity she can muster. She kept her gaze on James and James' eyes never left her. It was like a thousand unsaid things passed between them. Unaccounted for emotions. Unexplained feelings. James' gaze was intense and Lily laid out her full vulnerability in her eyes. She was unguarded and fragile as a doe.
After a few moments of complete silence, Lily shifted her gaze to Dorcas. Dorcas Meadowes looked positively murderous. She kept shifting her gaze between James and Lily and she looked like she was trying to decide who she should kick first. Lily for rudely interrupting her wedding or James- who didn't even seemed to mind? And that's when Lily snapped out of whatever trance she was in. She came to her senses and she immediately felt mortified. She tried to speak again but all the adrenaline that came back to her a while ago had now left. With as much dignity as she can muster, she shook her head and darted out the church door without a single glance back.
Lily ran down the steps of the church as fast as she could in her dress and high heels. She didn't know where she was going but right now she didn't care. She just needed some place to sit down and cry and cry and feel sorry for herself. She kept walking briskly until she found a park. She immediately looked for a park bench and when she found one, she sank down pitifully. She was crying so hard now that it was impossible to see.
'Honestly, what was I thinking? He must hate me now. He must hate me so much. I'm so sorry James, it looks like we're back to square one.' was the only thought running through Lily's mind. She buried her face in her hands and her elbows were resting on her knees. She must have been crying for what felt like eternity before she heard a voice.
"You're right, Lily." someone said. Lily froze. She knew that deep voice. It was so familiar to her and her name on his tongue gave her pleasant chills. The voice continued, "You're absolutely right, I'm not the kind of guy who marries the wrong girl." Lily could hear a smile somewhere in the last thing he said.
"Hey," he said as his hands gently removed Lily's fingers covering her face. Now that her face was uncovered, she could see that James was crouching in front of her, smiling adorably like he just won the lottery. His hair was messed up the way Lily liked it and his bow was untied.
"James, I-" Namine started but at that moment, James kissed her. He kissed her like he never kissed her before. Emotion and feeling went into the kiss. Unsaid things, actions undone did too. Before she knew it, James pulled away with an even bigger smile on his handsome face.
"I'm sorry, Lily. We should never have fought, I should never have left you and I should never have proposed to Dorcas, I- I don't really love her, I just thought I did. I think it was just rebound and I really thought that I had lost you forever." James said in a rush
Lily didn't know what came over her but the next thing that came out of her mouth was a laugh. It was the kind of laugh that's a mixture of relief and happiness. James thought that her laugh was the most beautifully melodious thing he has ever heard and he wondered how he could've gone so long without it. He used to love making Lily laugh. And now, he could do it again. James joined Lily on the bench, his arm draped around her shoulder pulling her close to him. Lily laid her head on his shoulder and they just sat like that, enjoying each other's closeness.
"James?" Lily said,
"Hmmm?" James answered looking at Lily with his eyebrows raised
"How did you, er, get 'out'?" Lily asked
"Out of the wedding? Well the Marauders helped me out of another sticky situation, didn't they? Dorcas put up a fight but everyone could see what I didn't see before. Even Padfoot could see it and we all know he isn't the most sensitive bloke." James chuckled while shrugging his shoulders.
"See what?" Lily asked puzzled
"That I loved you and I still do." James said smiling that adorably handsome crooked smile of his.
Lily giggled and said, "I love you too James. So much."
"I'll always love you, Lily. Always." James said, "By the way, did I mention you look radiantly beautiful? Especially in that white dress you're wearing. You look like a bride." James grinned at her
"Whose bride?" Lily raised her eyebrows and laughed
"Mine." James said as he smiled his crooked smile that Lily loved so much.
Well, what do you think? Come on, drop me a review! This is only a one shot, okay. So don't expect anymore chapters. ;)
xoxo krayzzeedoodle
P.S. I changed some of the song lyrics so they could fit the situation.
