McGuffin's Device

By Polydicta

The ultimate weapon against Lord Voldemort.

Disclaimer:

All fiction is derivative and fan fiction doubly so. I make no claim to own any part of any of the following, all I have done is an attempt to put together the elements in a novel fashion, using words and ideas like Lego ™ bricks.

There is no money involved – all I do is to share what I do for my own amusement.

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McGuffin's Device

"I've got it, Harry! I have the ultimate weapon against You-Know-Who!"

Harry looked up from his reading. The book was propped up against a heavy bowl of fruit and he was reading while eating breakfast.

"What is it, 'Mione?"

She smiled and whispered to Harry and Ron, "It's an enchanted object of immense power, made by a wizard called McGuffin."

Ron swallowed hard. "What does it do then?"

"It allows you to influence the actions of another person – or people."

"You mean, like the Imperius?"

She shook he head. "No, it doesn't affect free-will, but it makes particular actions more likely. Much more likely."

Ron asked, forgetting to whisper, "So where do we find this object then? What does it look like, this … McGuffin, you say?"

"Shhhhh!"

Ron looked abashed. "Sorry!"

"I can't find any record of what this thing looks like, but we know that it was a device used for years by a woman called Christie."

"So it's some kind of magical device?"

Hermione nodded emphatically yes.

"Any leads at all?"

She nodded again. "Yes, I have a few ideas. I know that it was used to get people to find the Maltese Falcon, and I know that it was used by Christie right up until her death in the seventies."

"So where did this Madam Christie live?"

"There are several places that are possible, but it's likely that the device was passed on surreptitiously. It's not the sort of device that you use too obviously, if you get what I mean."

The two boys nodded sagely as the three rose to go to classes.

.

Draco Malfoy had been using an eavesdropping charm to listen in to the conversation. The Dark Lord would be extremely pleased at receiving this information. Draco knew, though, that he didn't have the resources to go in search of this powerful artefact, but all the same …

.

"You have pleased me, young Malfoy and you will be rewarded in your turn. Now, continue to spy and attempt to find me this McGuffin that The Mudblood speaks of, or at least, some idea of where it is to be found."

.

Three days later, Hermione received a parcel. There was a parchment tucked into the book.

"It's from Lupin. This is it …"

They read the letter and looked at the text and the illustration.

"It's a pretty distinctive piece of kit, isn't it?"

Draco was going insane with curiosity.

As the three stood to leave, Ron Weasley knocked the book off the table. As he picked it up, he didn't notice that several pages had fallen out.

Draco quickly summoned the pages as the trio left. He was amazed to find that the pages he had included descriptions of several ward-monitoring devices as well as the device made by McGuffin. Only a part of the information on the McGuffin device was present, but it included the sketch of the machine.

The pages were packed and owled to The Dark Lord, but not until Draco had copied the sketch and a summary of the device.

.

"It's arrived, 'Mione."

"What?"

"The Portkey. Lupin says that it is timed to go at nine tomorrow night and will take three of us. It will return five minutes later … ah!"

"What?"

"The one who intends to use the device must be the first to handle it, anyone else, even using magic, will be keyed to it permanently, and it can only change owners again after seven years."

"What's the parchment?"

"It'll become clear tomorrow just before the portkey activates – it's the secret. The place is under the Fidelius and has anti-transport wards up. This portkey is keyed in, so it's our only way in."

.

It was easy enough for Draco to get the package. A quick duplication charm and the copy went back in the mudblood's bag.

The next evening, Draco, Lucius and The Dark Lord read the words that appeared on the parchment.

"McGuffin's Device is in Colonel Mustard's Library."

They held the length of rope and were whisked away at precisely nine.

They arrived in a library. There were a few crates, seemingly of dark artefacts, stood by the desk. They were either about to be shipped or were just being unpacked. The device was on the desk, so Lord Voldemort reached forth his hand and took the device for his own.

There was a tingle of magic and after a brief flash of dazzling white, there was darkness … unending darkness and pain such as he never before believed was possible.

.

Draco opened his eyes to find himself laying on a station platform. Naked.

He sat up and looked around. There was his father, likewise without a stitch on him. A train was waiting – it looked like the Hogwarts Express, though the engine was as black as ebony.

A noise attracted his attention. There was a red, baby-like thing laying under one of the benches, struggling for breath.

Draco wished the thing would hurry up and die.

After a time, it stopped struggling.

"Father, what was it?"

Lucius looked nauseous. "Draco … that was what the Dark Lord looked like before he received his new body …"

"Where are we, Father?"

Lucius shrugged. "Platform nine and three-quarters …?"

"The train is waiting for us, it seems …"

Draco felt drawn to the first carriage of the train, both father and son entered the train and sat down. There before them, on the window shelf, stood McGuffin's device.

The train started and, instead of travelling through green fields had entered a tunnel of unending darkness. The darkness pressed against the windows, almost like a dementor's cloak.

It was getting hot, and the pair were sweating. The train compartment became hazy, like mist, until it finally disappeared and they were falling into the dark abyss.

.

"He took the bait then?"

Harry nodded. "Hook, line and sinker. The explosives and the fiendfyre took care of him as well as all of those dark artefacts and books that Padfoot sorted out from HQ. The bunker was completely gutted."

"Bunker?"

"Yes, an old air-raid shelter in the back garden of Grimmauld. It was designed to keep people safe from muggle bombs being dropped. Padfoot and Mooney just reinforced it with magic and transformed the inside into the appearance of a library … a library filled with dark artefacts, dark books and some booby-traps. As soon as he picked up the McGuffin and … BOOM!"

"So, the McGuffin was destroyed as well? A valuable magical artefact?"

Hermione grinned at her friend. "It wasn't real, Ron. Lupin made it using some scraps and stuff from the attic."

"So where's the real device?"

"There isn't one, Ron. It was the McGuffin – and it worked exactly as planned. It made Tom do exactly what we wanted, after all."

An expression of bewilderment crossed the redhead's face. And then dawning comprehension.

"And this witch, Christie?"

"Not a witch, Ron. Agatha Christie was an authoress of muggle crime novels. She famously used McGuffins as plot elements to get her stories moving."

.

The entire school wondered why the Golden Trio were laughing so loudly.