Disclaimer: I do not own CardCaptor Sakura, or It Will Rain by Bruno Mars.
This is not a one-short.
EDIT DATE: 4/1/2018
Summary:
Love was not part of the plan. Eriol was not supposed to meet Tomoyo. Faith was cruel. Destiny was a bitch. No one can save them from a heartbreak except perhaps, each other. It would take a lifetime before Eriol is free to sweep his angel of her feet. They'll be together even if God doesn't want them to be.
Chapter 1: Nothing More than a Memory
October 2018, Tokyo, Japan. Daidouji Corporation HQ
The rare times I am able to take a break from work, I would sit in my office and plug in my earphones to listen to my favorite band. Clow was a band back in my university. They eventually rose to fame, due mainly to their frontman, Eriol Hiiragizawa.
Post-University, the band followed their lead to London, where they got discovered. Lucky for them, they got their dream. Meanwhile, I was stuck as the assistance CEO of Daidouji Corporation.
I released a sigh, once more listening to Eriol's voice echoing through my ears. Memories flooded my brain of that first time and only time we met.
I was studying in Tokyo University, the first time I met him. It was my last year. I was taking up a management course, getting ready to take over my father's company. My friend Chiharu Miharu dragged me to a bar, Haven. Haven isn't exactly a bar, bar because it's usually filled with students and opens in the morning too, kind of like a café. It didn't feel so bad to go there.
I could never forget that moment. I've never been so enthralled by a man in my life, guided that I haven't lived long, just barely out of university. When I heard his voice, I felt something tugged at my heart. I was saddened. His voice was different. It felt like he was crying through his voice. I know it's absurd to think that but I've never been so captured in my life. Maybe, I should be a bit thankful for getting dragged here. His voice, his actions bleed his emotions, even listening to him now, nothing has changed. He still sings, like everything comes to heart.
I remember that day clearly. It was a hectic day, being a senior and all. I just came out from a gruesome Calculus lecture. It was about multiple something. I forgot, but it doesn't really matter. I had my lunch hour then. I was quietly eating in the cafeteria when Chiharu came bounding up to me. She slammed her tray on the table, startling me midway through my sandwich.
I groaned, "Gee, thanks Chiharu, You're lucky I didn't drop my sandwich."
As if she didn't hear me, "Tomoyo Daidouji, I just came from my economics class. Do you know what I heard?"
Being a good friend I had to deal with her hyperness but back then, I wasn't as wise as I am now. So the Daidouji reply she got was, "The Supply curve?"
I could see it in her eyes. Her eyes were as big as saucers. She wanted to wring my neck for my lack of excitement. Frustration was evident. That made me curious really. I am still good friends with her now, I am really thankful for that.
I remember that she practically squealed in frustration at me..
"TOMOYO-
It must be really exciting for her. She made me feel like she's talking to a kindergarten student. I chuckled slightly to myself. The memory triggered that.
-CLOW was just hired to perform at Haven!"
I honestly did not know what she's talking about, then. It was evident in my face because I think I saw a vein popped near her forehead.
"How can you not know who CLOW is? They've been famous since the battle of the band last year! I've been talking about them Tomoyo. Were you even listening?"
I sighed. Of course, I was listening but I'm not really interested in music and all that shit back then. Dance and music were my first loves, but times have changed it all. Why? Because well, it's another problem all together. It's kind of hard to explain to her, to anybody. I've never confided it to anyone.
"Chiharu, I didn't attend the Battle of the Bands, remember? I was dragged to a business trip.
"Still doesn't explain why you haven't heard about them. They're all over school."
I smiled. I remember thinking, "How can I get out of this?".
"YOU, on the other hand,-
I wanted to emphasize the "You" part because I know about her little date then.
-had a date with you forever crush, Yamazaki Takahashi, I swear you wanted to leap for joy when she asked you."
It was a good save. I successfully distracted her from asking why I'm not into to the music thing. I grinned at the memory of her flushed face. I knew my expression then said, I got you.
"Let me guess, Chi, you heard this piece of information from a certain Yamazaki Takahashi and he invited you to come with him."
She blushed even more. Young love. I almost chuckled at the thought.
"Yeah, but I don't have anyone to go with."
My expression is vivid in my mind. I raised my eyebrow. My eyes said, "Why does she need someone to go with? Don't tell me."
"Did he say that he wanted you to come then you can bring some friends? So technically, it's not counted as a Date?
She was nodding her head furiously.
"Tomoyo, he invited me to come because his uncle owns the place, plus he knows the vocalist. Rika and Naoko are busy. Tomoyo-chan, you have to come with me, please?"
She was desperate. She really liked him then. I remember thinking that I'll be a good friend. It's funny because, they're now dating and I heard wanting to move in together.
"Alright, Chi"
She surprised me by grasping my hands. "You won't be sorry! You'll enjoy it, Tomoyo."
I teased her a bit. "Are you sure you still have a crush on Yamazaki? You sound dead excited to see CLOW."
She laughed at me. She had a dreamy expression on her face. "It's just that Hiiragizawa-san, is so good. Every girl here likes him."
Before I could prod her more about Hiiragizawa-san, the bell rang. Unlike me, she had class. She told me that she'll just see me after class and she'll drive. I didn't have to take the train home.
Maybe I should have taken her statement as a warning as what would happen in the coming hours of that day.
Upon arriving at Haven, I heard the soft playing of the piano. It was a simple melody that I'm surprise I easily drifted to. I was slightly aware that Chiharu already left my side. It didn't matter. I was too absorbed in the playing.
Coincidentally, the song I am listening to is the same one I heard that day. I closed my eyes at the memory of his face and his voice. A serene expression crossed me.
A guy with blue hair and wearing glass started making his way to the microphone while another guy took over the piano. It was weird. I felt my feet were rooted on the spot. I didn't bother were I planted myself. I was anticipating his voice, wondering what it would sound like. I wasn't scared that it might come out horribly wrong but damn it, I think the melody has a spell on it. I'm on the edge. He took a deep breath and let the words flow out like water.
If you ever leave me baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don't have it anymore.
I saw him closed his eyes. I felt like he was in his private moment and that I'm just peeping, like everybody else in the audience. He looked so sad, like he lost a piece of his heart somewhere long ago. I felt my heart breaking. She was lucky to have someone like him and really idiotic for losing someone like him. I'm guessing
There's no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'
Will keep you by my side
Will keep you from walkin' out the door.
Maybe, it wasn't like that. Maybe he had to let her go. The poor guy. Now I felt bad. His story sounds so sad and piano wasn't making it any better.
Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...
His voice came out as if it was air, like breathing. I felt my heart tighten. I was surprised at the emotions I was feeling. I was sad. I was depressed. No memory entered my head that day, just that moment of pure sadness. It was too beautiful, too magical. Until now it clenches my chest.
I'll never be your mother's favorite
Your daddy can't even look me in the eye
Oooh if I was in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing
Sayin there goes my little girl
Walkin' with that troublesome guy
Lost love. If I was in my right chain of thought, I would think it was sappy but with the way he's performing, I just felt sorry for the guy. To my complete surprise, I found myself wishing that well I was the love. If I was then maybe, I wouldn't be lost. I wanted to get a grip. I was nobody to him, then and now.
But they're just afraid of something they can't understand
I understand what it felt like to be loved, somehow I do. People are afraid of things that do not make sense. They're afraid of things that would hurt. I think I'm all of the above right now, with how my life turned out to be and all. My mother and my father love me. My father's family, well I don't really know. I don't really have a choice.
Oooh well little darlin' watch me change their minds
Yeah for you I'll try I'll try I'll try I'll try
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make you mine
In some twisted world, the man in front of me would be my savior. Someone to help me get through the pain, I've been living in. I can't seem to do it alone. No one can help me. Watching him and hearing him make me think that he was just that person I was looking for. But It was only a performance. I was only his audience.
Whoever had someone, anyone like that is so lucky. It's a jewel to find someone willing to fix you, to fix the things wrong when you can't.
I closed my eyes, to reel back the emotions seeping through my heart. I was at work at the moment but the song is bringing me back.
Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...
There were two things in my life that confuse me. One, when I woke up one day, feeling like a huge part of me has been wipe of like a magic slate, leaving traces of unexplained emotions and long gone memory. It felt like I've live a life again. That doesn't make sense. I am still wrapping my head around it.
Second, my father left me when I was young, only to come back with a gruesome family background that I have to live with. I had lost my love for music. I focused my attention on my mother and my father who tried to protect me from the pain but he can't. It's a really long story. Right now, I'm just wishing that his voice no matter how much pain, it's bringing me would never go away. I remember that I closed my eyes that day, overwhelmed with emotions.
Listening to him that day helped me find my love for song again, but for some reason, I've taken a complete liking to his
Don't just say, goodbye
Don't just say, goodbye
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make it right
Upon opening my eyes, I felt a gaze on me. Sapphire orbs met mine. The vocalist locked eyes with me. I couldn't turn the gaze away. I couldn't break away. I just gazed back. I refused to break whatever magic that moment had for me. I relinquished in the soothing voice.
As I looked in his eyes, I felt something tug at my heart. Would it be wrong to think that he was singing to me? Would it be selfish? Unconsciously, I wanted him to sing it for me.
It was strange then and strange now, like I tied a string around him, securing him to me. But I am no one to the word famous singer.
Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...
It was a trance. My eyes were glued on him ad only him. My feet rooted to the spot. He never broke his gaze. It felt like he was calling out to me. "Tomoyo", the boy would say. It would come out like breathing. Of course, it was not true. I am merely an audience in his show. But it was a brilliant one at that.
When the soft piano was heard again and his voice was gone, our staring contest continued. When the song started fading, it took our moment harshly. Maybe it was just harsh for me. Nevertheless, I was disappointed beyond reasonable. It felt like it was not the first time but it was.
Loud applause was heard but my eyes were still focused on him. He cracked a small smile to me. Well I would hope it was for me but then with all the squealing, maybe it was not. He smile grew larger yet it somehow never reached his eyes as he acknowledges his applause. I saw him turn to me. It was stupid of me to keep staring but I did. He actually gave me a smile again, but this time it reached his eyes. I recognized it as a smile of sorrow. I looked away because this time I knew it was directed to me. It felt weird to be caught staring. I knew my face was a bit pink.
I spotted Chiharu near the high stools near the bar. I wanted to gracefully take my leave. I was a bit shaken by the vocalist. The man's eyes unnerved me. It felt like a dosed of cold water. It felt new and old. I wanted to go home and sort out my heart and my brain.
"Chi, you ready to go?"
She looked at me as if I was deranged. I probably was.
"We just got here, Tomoyo-chan. Hiiragizawa-san has only sung once. I don't mind hearing more. Go have a drink first."
I thought, "So he's the popular Hiiragizawa that she's been ogling about". Still, I needed to make an excuse. I was about to say it when, Yamazaki popped out of nowhere. That frustrated me, really. I wanted to hit him on the head like what she does when he tells lies.
Another chuckled echoed through my office as more memories flood me.
"Chiharu-san, Tomoyo-san, Do you want to meet the band members of CLOW? Eriol said that they still have time before their next performance."
I think he should sleep with one eye open. I am going to strangle him for suggesting that. I don't want to meet him. I might just cause myself more blunder. I was utterly devastated at the prospect but Chiharu looked excited. Meeting him would be chaotic.
Looking back, I am grateful for that moment. Even for a while I felt like I mattered.
"Thank you, Yamazaki-kun"
I heard Chi say while Yamazaki went to the stage to talk with the band. He looked like he was asking a favor of them. He just probably wanted to impress Chiharu. I laughed at that thought, because everything seems to work out for them.
I sat beside Chiharu. I was contemplating what I wanted to order because I feel like I'll be staying a while. Suddenly, a guy from my economics class walked up to me.
"Daidouji-san, can I buy you a drink?"
I wanted to refuse. I mean isn't that the things you see when people flirt in the bar, but then I don't want the poor guy to feel bad. I was about to open my mouth to reply when someone did for me.
"I was told by my friend that you girls wanted to meet us."
I saw a glass going my way. Chiharu had one too. Whoever it was, completely tuned out the guy asking. Shrugging it away, the guy left. This gave me time to notice that Hiiragizawa-san was right in front of me. I held my mouth. I almost said, "Oh fuck"
The boy as handsome then, until now. I admit, I stalk their band. I am a fan after all.
He bowed. "Hello, ladies, my name is Eriol Hiiragizawa. I'm sorry that I'm the only one meeting you tonight. As you can see my band mates are currently occupied with other guests. I hope you don't mind"
He didn't take Chiharu's hand, but he took mine and brushed his lips on them. Like those English greetings, I blushed. To me it felt familiar.
The tingles I felt were familiar yet exhilarating. No one has compared to him. I've met a lot of people, but that tingle never happened with anyone. Only with him.
I did mind he's the only one meeting us. Aside from reasons mentioned above. I felt the gaze of the female population on us, especially on me. They're probably plotting my murder, right now. My voice was caught somewhere. I can't seem to talk.
I was not very confident back then. I was a goldfish out of water.
I was thankful that Chiharu, after giggling at the dumbfounded expression on my face, took the lead.
"Hi, Hiiragizawa-san, I'm Chiharu Miharu. My beautiful friend who seems to be in a trance is Tomoyo Daidouji"
I wasn't aware that we both haven't let go. Chiharu made us aware and I blushed madly. I tried to recover my poise. I was after all a strong woman. I should have handled this more maturely and not pre-teenly.
I admit I was a little awkward.
"Miharu-san is right. You are indeed a beauty. I couldn't take my eyes away from you."
BUSTED. He knew. He saw. I'm dead. I saw him grinned. I wanted to hit him. Crap. There is only one word for what happened to me. Mindfucked.
I had a mini panic attack.
I could hear my friend giggling. I said to myself, "Keep it together, Daidouji."
I am better at keeping it together now.
"I didn't know I was worthy enough of your attention, Hiiragizawa-san. Thank you."
I smiled which I hope to be dazzling enough. I wanted to recover whatever was left of my grace. He smirked. He really had a slight ego to him.
"It's a pleasure to meet the beauty the management department boasts about."
I chuckled. He maybe a smooth singer but he chose the wrong girl to challenge. Still, I wanted people to know that I was way passed my looks.
"I was just giving you a compliment, Daidouji-san."
I smiled. I wanted to return the favor.
"That was a beautiful song, Hiiragizawa-san. I bet all your fan girls-
I pointed to the people staring daggers at me.
-love it. Your musical antics are just as famed, or so I've heard"
For a brief moment, I saw sadness flashed in his eyes. It was like for a moment, my words had caused a pang of pain. He looked like unwanted memory came. He quickly hid it with a smile.
"Thank you, Daidouji-san. I am honored you like it. I wrote it for a special someone in my life."
What's this? Jealousy? I wanted to laugh. I was being an idiot. Before I could say anything, I heard a slow strumming.
"Excuse me, ladies. The stage is calling for me."
We nodded to him. When Chiharu was sure he was gone, she launched at me.
"What was that?"
I gave her an awkward smile. I couldn't explain it then. I cannot explain it now.
"If I knew, I would tell you."
In my head, my first meeting with Hiiragizawa did not make sense. It was familiar and enticing, like a dance you know by heart. Is he for real?
I highly doubt that my experience with Hiiragizawa is what most people call love at first sight. I admit it was mind boggling but after a few months, well I let it go. I already graduated school, anyway. I won't seem him again
I was wrong. I'd see his face splattered everywhere. He's Japan's pride. He's lucrative. He's the face on the train.
Today, I'm 25 years old. My father's family was one of the biggest corporations in Japan. My uncle who was the eldest took over but died in a car accident. I was in the car but I don't remember what happened. My father took over. Since my uncle had no family, I was next in line.
My life before was tough and sad but for some reason after my uncle's death, I was still in shackles. Life seems to look up for now. I never thought of the experience I had at Haven. I moved on but slowly although I hate to admit it. I got more absorbed into work.
Eriol Hiiragizawa was nothing more than a memory to me.
This story may turn out to be quite long. I just hope no one gets confused when I switch POV, but I won't really warn you. Each Chapter would be devoted to one person's POV. Either Reader, Tomoyo, Eriol, Sakura and Syaoran. Of course, the SS pair will appear later on. For now, it's just all about Eriol and Tomoyo.
-Ayaori
