New story, yay!
So, before we begin, this plotline is by none other than Helafina! Thank you so much for suggesting it to me (when it was supposed to be for Overseas) and I really hope you of all people will love it :)
This is a two-shot so please await the next one, too!
This story has a lot, and I mean a lot, of references to Tokyo Ghoul. Takatsuki Sen, Glassy Sky, The Black Goat's Egg, all of these are from Tokyo Ghoul so if you're curious on what the anime's about, watch it. It will move you to tears (goodbye my precious sunshine)
Review, comment, check out my other stories, and also check out the poll I made on my profile for A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words!
So, without further ado, here is the chapter!
NOTE
Trigger Warning: General depression, implied cutting, and suicide attempts
"Hey."
He looks up from his book as he fixes his gaze on the person who just talked to him. This was a first time in a year or so that someone could actually spot him. "Hello."
"Mind if I sit here?"
He looks at the empty space next to him on the bench and he nods. "Go ahead."
"Thanks."
A silence envelops them as he goes back to his book. Wind blows and he is reminded of a cold winter that is approaching. His mind is somewhere else and he unconsciously gets a misty look in his eyes, remembering those days.
"Hey."
He shakes out the memory and looks back at the person. "Yes?"
"Are you ok?"
Shock takes over him. It's been so long since he's heard those three insignificant words that he can't help but cry.
"Hey. Wait for me!" Someone calls out and he turns around, only to be enveloped by a warm body and a happy face.
"Aomine-kun." He acknowledges and though he still has a blank canvas on his face, he feels happy as well.
"Let's go to Maji Burger. My treat."
"Why so suddenly? Where is Momoi-san?"
Aomine scratches his head. "Ah, something about 'girl problems'? I have no clue. And is it weird to eat with my best friend? Come on, I hear the vanilla milkshakes are on discount today." He laughs wholeheartedly when he sees his best friend's eyes sparkle.
"Is that so?" He tries to act natural but it obviously fails as Aomine ruffles his hair.
"Come on, let's go." Aomine says as he takes his skinny wrist and pulls him along. He can't pull away and tell him he can walk on his own because he can't help but feel loved.
"Hey." He looks at the person as he says, "Hello," back.
The person points. "Look at that. It's pretty, isn't it?"
He turns his head to where the person is pointing at and sees a robin flying towards the tree next to them, landing gracefully as it starts pecking on one of the twigs. He is immediately drawn to it, his eyes going misty once more.
"Hey."
He turns back to the person. "Yes?"
The person puts his hands on his head as he admires the view. "Do you ever wonder what it feels like to fly?"
He tilts his head to the question. "Why would you ask that?"
"I've always wanted to know. They seem to be so free when they fly in the air."
"You say that as if you are not."
"Free?" The person asks and laughs a bit. "Well, I guess you can say that."
"Can you tell me why?"
The person scratches the back of his head. "I don't know. Is anyone really free in this world?"
He ponders the question and he suddenly remembers. He flinches slightly. The person doesn't fail to notice.
"I suppose not." He responds as he turns away and looks back at the robin.
The person stretches his arms and legs on the bench. The sun starts to set. They both look at the scenery silently.
"It's getting late, don't you think?" The person comments later on. "We should go home."
He shrugs. "I will stay here for a bit more." He answers as he opens the same book and burrows his face in it.
A few minutes pass and he realizes that there is still warmth radiating next to him, somehow helping him get warmer than usual. He turns around and sees the person lowering his head and letting his scarf cover his chin. It starts to snow lightly.
"Why are you not leaving?"
The person looks at him and gives him a smile. His heart breaks when he sees someone else instead.
"You're not." He replies simply.
"I said I would stay here for a bit longer. You can go."
He shrugs it off. "I'll leave when you do." And he can't help but lose his attention from the book to watch the robin fly away with the person next to him.
"Take a look at that." Aomine says as he points to a crane walking along the river. The school was at a trip to the zoo, which he found pleasant, and as he looked towards where Aomine was pointing, someone grabbed his shoulders from behind.
"So pretty!" The person exclaims.
"Kise-kun, you're heavy. Please move." He says in a monotone voice and the person, Kise, cries at how mean he is. Others join the group and one of them, vibrant red hair and even more entrancing red eyes, calls out to them to get ready to eat lunch.
His eyes never leave the crane while he walks to the area where the others are at. He takes out his lunch and Aomine tsks.
"Is that really all you're going to have?" Aomine reprimands but he shrugs in response.
"I don't eat a lot."
"It is a truly unsatisfactory lunch for a basketball player." One of the taller of the group says as he pushes his glasses up. He then proceeds to put some of his own food to him.
"I don't need it, Midorima-kun." He tries to take the food away but Midorima refuses.
"You need to eat if you want to keep up with us." He answers and Kise comments on how much of a tsundere he is. Said person splutters.
He looks at his lunch contemplatively before accepting the food and thanking the tall student.
"Want some of mine, too?" Aomine asks as he grabs some with his chopsticks but he shakes his head.
"I appreciate it but I think I have enough. I also know that Aomine-kun will probably eat everything anyways."
Aomine gives him a big smile. "You know me too well."
"'Hey."
He looks up from his book and sees that the person is here again. "Hello."
"What are you always reading?" He asks as he takes his usual spot next to him. His hands are burrowed inside the pockets of his jacket.
He shows the person the cover of the book. The person crouches down as he reads the title. "'The Black Goat's Egg.' I've never heard of it before. What's it about?" The person asks as he takes the book away from him, making sure to remember which page it was open at. He studies the cover and back page.
He ponders about the question before answering. "It is about a son who lives with her mother and a serial killer called The Black Goat. The son is mostly disgusted by his mother's depravity but he can't help but realize that he is going through the same thing. It mostly talks about his mental state and how it deteriorates over time."
The person is quiet for a second. "Sounds really depressing." He finally says and he nods in agreement.
"It is. The son has to go through an unbelievable change and it takes him to the brink of insanity trying to cope with it."
"Who's the author?"
"Takatsuki Sen. She is well known for her horror novels and the destruction of her main characters."
"I've heard about her before. Isn't she the one whose writing parallels that of Kafka's?"
He looks at the person, surprised. "As a matter of fact, yes. Her first book was called Dear Kafka."
A comfortable silence falls upon them as he starts reading the novel once more. Then,
"Is it your first time reading this?"
"The Black Goat's Egg? I have actually read it many times." He then unintentionally adds, "During third year in middle school."
The person doesn't notice it. "What happens to the son in the end?"
He looks at the person straight in the eye for once, and the person stiffens at the hollowness that reflects his eyes.
With a deadpan voice, he answers. "He breaks."
"Kafka." Midorima notes as he sees the book he is holding. "That novel is very famous. The Metamorphosis."
"Is it?" He asks to the spectacled man. "What's it about?"
Midorima taps his chin for a moment, trying to recall the plot. "A salesman one day wakes up to find himself changed into a monster-like insect and tries to cope through it."
He nods at the explanation. "It sounds very interesting. Why does he change?"
"It never really explains it, nor did Kafka provide one. It just focuses on how the man deals with the change. It never really works out, though."
"I can imagine. I doubt the family would be supportive of it."
"They are not. You should read it yourself. I wouldn't want to spoil it for you."
He nods and tucks the novella under his arm. "Do you have any other recommendations for me?"
Midorima looks around in the library. "Depends on the genre you want to read."
He ponders about this as well. Then, "Well, since I have a sad book, maybe something to contrast it would do well."
"Something happy, you mean?"
"Something that makes me want to cherish every moment."
Midorima looks at him skeptically. "Why would you want that?"
He shrugs. "I feel that the salesman would have wanted that opportunity, after he turned. He must've took things for granted that when everyone probably shunned him out, he regretted it deeply. Isn't that what happens to him in the end?"
Midorima sighs. "In a way, yes. I won't say more than that but you have the gist of it." He says before taking out a book from the shelf.
He takes the book and reads the title. "Tuesdays with Morrie. What's it about?"
"I won't tell but read it after Kafka. You'll probably like Kafka's work better, since it is a classic, but you wanted something where it makes you cherish every moment, right?"
He nods. "I do."
"Tuesdays with Morrie might help you achieve that. It is a bit sad, I will warn you, but I guarantee that it will get your mind rolling."
He gives Midorima a smile. "Thank you for the books, Midorima-kun."
Midorima merely shoves his glasses up. "As members of the library committee, I believe it is necessary to recommend each other books. It is nothing to thank for."
"Hey."
"Hello." The usual greeting as the person sits down next to him. He checks the spine of the book that he's reading.
"That's new. Finished The Black Goat's Egg already?"
He nods. "I have."
"Of Mice and Men. I've actually read this before at school."
He looks at the person curiously. "You have?"
"It was an assignment back in the States. I hated reading it."
"I had no clue you lived in America."
The person smiles. "You never asked." It still hurts his chest to see the same exact smile.
"Why did you hate reading it?" He changes the topic to make the person lose the smile.
The person scratches his head. "I didn't like the ending."
"It was for the best."
"It may have been but that doesn't make it any less painful. They were like two peas in a pod, you know?"
"It could not have been helped. It was either that or something even more terrible."
The person sighs. "It's just a choice between bad and worse, isn't it?"
"I believe that is what life is. We must always make a choice between bad and worse. The lucky ones can always choose bad and deal with fewer consequences. Those who are less fortunate have no choice but to always go with worse. Many times it is always unintentional."
"Which category are you in?" The person then asks and he immediately replies.
"Worse."
The person's eyebrows raise. "That was quick."
He shrugs. "I have done some terrible things in my life."
"Doesn't mean it wasn't for the worse."
"But it was." He insists and the person looks at him with unreadable eyes. He tries to change the topic once more. He has said too much. "And you? Where do you stand at?"
The person pouts in concentration. "Depends. Sometimes I think I've done wrong but later on, when I see the outcome, I realize that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to do."
Those words put him to silence. It makes him think more than necessary and suddenly his head hurts. He grabs it and tries to sooth it back. He doesn't want to think about it now.
"Are you ok?" The person asks, worry evident in his tone.
As the headache dulls, he nods. "I am. My head just hurts a bit."
The person looks like he wants to say more but doesn't, and he is grateful for that. He is grateful that the person knows his limits and when he shouldn't cross the line.
He is grateful that the person is playing ignorance when he can clearly see his bandaged arms on a cold winter.
"What did you wish for?" Kise asks from behind as he tapes the paper on the mantle. The wind blows gently on his face and he feels as if he is in nirvana. The middle school festival had just ended, the last celebration before winter vacation and a start of a new grade, and the five basketball players and their manager decided to finish the festivities by writing their wishes and hoping they would come true.
"I'm not saying." He replies to Kise.
"Eh? Why?"
"I want my wish to come true. If I tell anyone, it won't." He answers. Aomine jumps from behind him and wraps his arm around his shoulder.
"You don't actually believe that, do you?" Aomine laughs teasingly.
"I believe what I want, Aomine-kun. I want my wish to come true. I will not jeopardize it."
Aomine laughs once more. "Hey, I'll say mine. I want big boobs."
"Dai-chan!" The pink-haired manager scolds as she hits him on the head. "That's so disgusting."
"That hurts, Satsuki! And what? I'm a guy! I can think stuff like these!"
"That doesn't make it any less bad, you ganguro!" She yells at him and they start bickering just like how childhood friends should.
"Momocchi is right, Aominecchi! And you just implied that you want big boobs, not that you want a girl with them!" Kise calls out. Immediately, Aomine tries to find his slip of paper with wide eyes.
"Well, I wished for my basketball skills to grow stronger!" Kise then says enthusiastically and he looks at the blonde curiously.
"Your skills are already very high, Kise-kun."
Kise shakes his head and looks at the stars. "No, not yet. I'm not satisfied. I just started, you know? I want to grow stronger, strong enough to beat Aominecchi."
At that moment, Aomine pushes Kise in the back. "Yeah, right, idiot. You've got a long way before you can do that."
Kise pouts. "Just you wait, Aominecchi! I'll make sure to beat you one day!" The two fight as always but tonight, it just a light shoving and pushing. They're just joking.
They're friends.
"So, what did you wish for?" Momoi comes up and asks him.
He is still relentless. "I don't want to say it."
"Please? I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." Momoi tries to bargain but he shakes his head. Behind them come three others with their slips of paper.
"Took you guys long enough." Aomine comments as he lets go of Kise's neck.
"It's because Murasakibara wouldn't take this seriously." Midorima scoffs as the tallest of the group, Murasakibara Atsushi, just gives everyone a lazy smile.
"I was taking it seriously~" The giant drawls happily and the remaining three all tape their papers on the mantle as well.
The six then sit down on the floor and Aomine nudges Midorima.
"So, what did you guys write?"
Murasakibara goes first. "I wished for more candy~"
"Mukkun, you were supposed to take this more seriously!" Momoi exclaims.
"Exactly what I said." Midorima adds with an annoyed expression but it doesn't faze Murasakibara in the least.
"What did you wish for then, Midorimacchi?" Kise questions.
Midorima pushes his glasses up and mutters something incomprehensible.
"What?" Kise strains to hear.
"To beat Akashi." He finally says and everyone laughs.
"I'm afraid that wish will never come true."
"Mark my words, Akashi. I will beat you one day." Midorima declares to the red-head and Akashi smiles.
"Whatever you say."
"Well, what did you wish for then?" Midorima huffs as he asks Akashi. Everyone's ears perk, curiosity peaking.
Akashi just smiles. "To keep playing basketball." He replies simply.
"Eh? But that's already come true!" Kise remarks and everyone calls Akashi out. Akashi merely keeps his smile as Aomine and Kise start shoving him teasingly.
Momoi suddenly raises her hand. "I wished to be with everyone until the end!"
"You're just like Akashicchi! It's already happened!" Kise comments and Momoi laughs while scratching the back of her head.
"Well, I may have paraphrased it a bit." She says with a blush. Immediately Kise gives her a knowing smile and she blushes even more.
Kise goes to him and nudges him slightly. "Looks like someone's going to happy."
He gives the blonde a confused look. "What do you mean?" Kise rolls his eyes and winks at Momoi. She then proceeds to hit him to make him quiet.
And finally, Aomine looks at him with a mischievous glint in his eye. "And what about you? What did you wish for?"
He looks around the group and sees that everyone is waiting for him to speak. It's the first time he's been given this much attention that he can't let them down now.
"Ah, something stupid." He tries to avoid but with their gazes, he knows he can't escape them.
It's actually a nice feeling.
"I wished that we would never change and be as we are now." He finally says and everyone grins.
"Idiot, what else do you think we'd do?" Aomine states and ruffles his hair. He shoos the hand away but the feeling is warm and pleasant.
"Do you think we'll get to see a shooting star tonight?" Momoi asks and Akashi nods.
"There's one right now." He points to the falling star and the group all gasp at the beauty of it. He unconsciously grabs Aomine's sleeve and the tanned student turns around.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Will we really be together?" He whispers and Aomine gives him a soft smile.
"Where else would we be then? We'll always be together."
"Will you abandon me someday?"
At that, Aomine's eyes widen. "Why would you think that?"
He looks up and stares into Aomine's eyes. "Because I've been in that situation before. I don't want to go through it again."
Aomine hugs him tenderly. "We will never abandon you. It's a promise."
"Hey."
This time, he doesn't say anything back. He doesn't lift his head to look at him and he focuses on holding back his tears.
"Hey, what's wrong?" The person asks as he crouches down. He still doesn't say anything back.
"I don't even remember…"
"You look like you're about to cry. Hey, look at me. What's wrong? Are you ok?"
'You've been abandoned. You've got nothing left.
'Die.
Just die.'
A few tears fall from his cheeks and the person immediately goes to wipe them away. He shies away from the touch and wipes them himself.
"I'm sorry." He apologizes but more tears fall. The person sits next to him, unsure of what to do.
"What's wrong?" The person asks once more.
"I just realized that today is my birthday."
"Will we always be together?" He says to himself as he tapes a single slip of paper on the mantle. The only one there.
Today's festival seemed dull, void of color and festivity. He had tried to find the others in the big school but was shocked to see that they all went their separate ways.
Kise with his horde of fans.
Midorima with his horoscopes and the booth where antiques were sold.
Murasakibara at all the candy shops and booths.
Akashi winning everyone at a game of shogi and pretty much any other game. His yellow eye seems colder than usual.
And Aomine nowhere to be found.
The last festival until middle school ends and he is alone. Again.
"Will you never leave me behind?" He asks to himself as he looks down and sees that almost everyone has gone home. He is on the third floor and suddenly, he finds it interesting to see if he can fly.
Eyes go misty as his body moves on his own.
We'll always be together, they said.
We'll never abandon you, they said.
We'll never leave you, they said.
Legs move up as he hoists himself in the metal bar and tries to balance himself. When he does, he feels the wind blowing softly, just like last time. He opens his eyes and looks to the midnight sky. Almost everyone has left and the only thing still lit is the dying bonfire.
He spots a shooting star gliding across the sky and he smiles, a gentle tear falling down his cheek.
And as he closes his eyes and lets himself fall from the balcony, he can't help but think, 'my wish will come true now.'
A thump on the ground and everything goes dark.
The slip of paper moves to the beat of the wind, its words peaking through it.
That everything will go back to the way it was.
"Here, listen to this. It might soothe your mind a bit." The person says as he puts big headphones on him. The music blasts immediately and he closes his eyes, letting the lyrics flow.
"English." He comments and the person nods, though he can't see it.
"A returnee, remember?"
He doesn't listen as the lyrics pull him in. He doesn't understand it but somehow, he can. He can feel the pain, the utter impulse to try and make everything the way it was. He feels the sorrow, the woe, the anguish, but for some reason, he senses hope as well.
When the song finishes, he takes off the headphones and gives it back to the person. The person, however, shakes his head and puts them on his neck. He forgot to wear a scarf today.
"Keep it for a while. It's warm and you looked a bit cold." The person says and though he wants to give it back, the person is relentless.
"What was that song?" He asks after a moment.
"Glassy Sky. Good song, right?" The person says and he nods in agreement.
"It was beautiful. I could not understand most of it but you could hear the emotion."
"I think it was an OST for something. I'm not sure, though."
"What does it mean?"
"What?"
He taps the headphones. "Glassy Sky. I am very sure it has a meaning to it."
The person rubs the back of his neck in consideration. "I'm not sure, really. All I know is that it was an OST for a main character who has to deal with immense change in himself. Something like the character from The Metamorphosis went through."
A moment's silence later, he says, "I liked the chorus a lot. 'As long as I'm alive, you will be part of me.' That much I could understand."
"Yeah, no one wants to leave this world without leaving scars behind."
He tilts his head to the person's words. "What do you mean?"
"You're bound to have people who love you, right? If you were to just leave, you wouldn't just go without leaving something behind. There's no such thing as a free lunch, right?"
"I doubt anyone would care if I left."
"You never know. I'd be sad if you left."
He turns his head in shock and looks at the person with confused eyes. "You would?"
The person rubs his hands for warmth. "Well, yeah."
"But you forget me in the end, wouldn't you?" He adds with a bitter tone.
The person shakes his head. "No one really forgets others, you know? Besides, I like talking to you too much to forget you. I'd probably remember you forever."
He keeps staring at the person. "There is no such thing as an infinity."
"That's what you think."
He tilts his head in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"
"Who's the say that one's imagination is limited? It stretches far off, doesn't it? It never really ends." The person then looks up and gestures him to look as well. He does.
"Look at the sky. Do you think it'll end?"
He stares at a cloud lazily passing by. "No, I suppose not. But maybe it will. There is no evidence saying that it extends forever." And a second later he adds, "Maybe that was the meaning of it after all."
The person stops looking at the sky. "Meaning of what?"
"Glassy sky." He answers. "Maybe the singer was trying to say that something that should probably feel like infinity is nothing but a false glassy sky. Maybe she was trying to say that something you feel will last forever never does."
The conversation dims and reticence substitutes it. He closes his eyes, wondering if the person will leave him alone now and never come back. He's been nothing but a pessimist and he doubts the person wants to be next to him again.
He would be abandoned again.
He waits for the person's footsteps, his standing up and walking away, but it never comes.
Instead, "Then maybe she was implying that we should cherish those moments."
He flickers his eyes open and blue meets red.
The person keeps going. "Because those things important to us probably won't last, it's better to live as if the day was your last, to not let your life go to waste and have the time of your life. A glassy sky may be just a fake representation of a real sky, but the hard work and effort to make such a beautiful reflection of it means something, right? A glassy sky still covers you and makes your life bearable."
The person then stands up and stretches. "I'm going to go first. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" And he starts walking away.
"Wait!" He suddenly calls out and the person hesitates from his steps before turning to him. "Yeah?"
He takes off the headphones and holds it up. "You forgot this."
The person just smiles. "Keep it. I have another pair at home."
He feels guilty. "But I can't keep something like this. It looks expensive." He still holds out the headphones, willing the person to take it back. The person, however, laughs and walks towards him. He takes his hands and guides them back to his neck where he places the headphones back.
"It's fine. It looks good on you." He comments and starts walking away once more.
"But -" He tries once more but is cut off by the person's wave.
"Happy birthday." And with that, he's gone.
"I don't think I have to go to practice anymore. Thank goodness, right? I can finally focus more on modeling now. We'll always win anyways, so why bother?"
One, my little feet take a step towards heaven. Will they let me in?
"It's such a pain. As long as I don't let the other team score, we'll win, right? I've got more power than they do, so it'll be fine. Practice was annoying anyways~"
Two, take the pain away; hurt myself instead. Will they love me for who I am?
"Pass the ball? Why should I when my shooting range has increased? I doubt anyone would be able to stop me even if they wanted to."
Three, a spiral of black as I take another step towards the sky. Will they help me survive?
"As long as everyone reaches their quota and crushes the opponent, securing our victory, I will be lenient on practice. I am absolute, can't you see? I am always right; therefore, I always win."
Four, at the edge, the brink, the line of my life. Will they still let me join?
"I don't even remember how to receive your passes anymore."
Five, down goes the soul, the shadow. Will they miss me and regret ever leaving me behind?
"Hey."
"Hello."
"Are you doing ok?"
"I am doing just fine. Thank you."
"No problem. I was worrying about you, you know?"
"I appreciate that. Thank you."
"You're wearing the headphones I gave you. Do you like them?"
"I do very much. Thank you."
"You don't have to say thank you for everything, you know?"
"But I want to. I want to thank you for everything you have done."
"I barely did anything."
"You knew I was hurting myself, right?"
"… Yeah"
"You knew I almost tried to kill myself."
"… I did."
"You knew I just needed a someone."
"I knew you needed someone to talk to. Someone to call a friend."
"… Are you my friend?"
"I thought that was kind of obvious."
"I don't even know your name."
"Neither do I. But I'm still your friend, right?"
"… Right."
"Then, let's start over, shall we? My name's Kagami Taiga. And you?"
"… Kuroko Tetsuya."
So, how was it? Good, bad, meh? Tell me in the reviews!
I think I like how this went out. I was really just winging it but after a while, I found it really fun to write this. The whole perspective change from past to present was something new to me (kind of since I think I did the same to A Colorful World) but nevertheless, it was interesting to try out.
Thank you once more Helafina for giving me this amazing idea and I really hope you liked it :)
The next chapter for this will focus more Kuroko and GoM but how it'll turn out will be a complete secret. Should I upload this one first or should I upload Who Am I? Decisions, decisions xD
If you want to listen to the song Glassy Sky or see the lyrics, they're on my profile (until further notice). Just type in Glassy Sky by Donna Burke on Youtube and it should be the first one. Any of them's good so don't forget to check it out!
Hope you guys enjoyed it and please await the next update!
Peace,
FlyAndDontLookBack
