Alright so I know that this is .ate for April fool's day, but I thought I would post it anyways. I did not like my latest chapter of cause and effect so in frustration I wrote this. And strangely enough I like it. So I hope this makes up for any disappointment with the recent update.
Warnings: Yaoi which means boys on boys. PWP and general silliness. Don't like there things? You have a back button for a reason. Use rating as per usual errs on the safe side.
Now On with the fic!
The Fool of April
Wufei looked at the calendar on his desktop as a noticed popped up. It was a simple reminder. He had three days to plan. He immediately looked at his two office mates and congratulated himself on being as sneaky as he was planning on being. The braided idiot would have no idea what was going to hit him. And his partner Yuy had not been alerted to defend him. This year was going to be different.
Settling back into his work Wufei began plotting quietly to himself. Unfortunately it did not go unnoticed by his astute office neighbor as he had a warm blast of breath ghost over his ear as Yuy's semi-nasal voice stated, "Is something wrong?"
Wufei jumped startled and swiveled in his seat, blinking at Heero who was inches away from his face. He flushed red and shook his head adamantly, "No!" He spat at a mere octave above his normal voice, "Why do you ask?" There that came out almost normal. Duo had turned around during this exchange and was eyeing Wufei dubiously.
"You have slowed your typing level and you are not reading any case reports to compensate. Your work efficiency has been decreased by thirty seven percent for the last ten minutes." Heero replied.
Duo looked back at Wufei for a response and when none was given he chimed in helpfully, "You know my He-chan is rarely wrong Wuffers. It's just not done." Wufei watched as Duo blew his close to yearlong lover a kiss in front of him. Heero didn't reflect it but didn't roll his eyes either. That was a new adjustment when these two began the relationship they had embarked on.
Wufei shook his head and turned back to his desk and said, "Nothing is wrong. Just thinking about multiple cases" and went silent. The others slowly turned back to their work and Wufei sent up a tiny prayer to his ancestors and turned to his work determinedly. That one break could have ruined all of his plans, he must not make that mistake again.
When the work day was coming to a close Wufei logged off, while Duo and Heero waited for him at the door. They always rode to and from work together. They would pick him up on the way to the Preventer office from his apartment. Wufei hesitated before silently resigning himself to the normal habits. He needed to remain normal to them or his plans would already be over.
So he followed them out in the hall and didn't protest too much as Duo planted his arm around his waist despite Yuy being his boyfriend and got into the car as Yuy opened the door for him and shut it behind him. He shrugged off the call from Duo as he exited the vehicle of "Bye Wufei! We love you!" As Duo's normal teasing departure phrase.
Finally when he was in his apartment Wufei smirked at himself and went to his computer set up on the desk in the corner. He searched the web for joke shops in the area and noted down the location of four of them. From there he nodded at their stores operation hours and picked up the phone to call Heero. The line went live and a perfunctory "Yuy" came out the other side,
"I will not need a ride to work tomorrow." Wufei stated firmly. The line was silent until Heero heard the firm "Hai" and the line went dead.
Wufei nodded and set his phone down. His plan was beginning to emerge! This would be his year. The year that he was not the 'Fool or April' or whatever Duo always chanted at him once a year. His mind flashed through the various tricks he had to endure from the war era till last year. Painting Nataku purple and pink had him seeing red during the war. Until Duo had explained at sword point that it was washable paint and it had been a prank.
And that there was a holiday for such pranks. This…April fool's day. Dastardly Americans.
Since that first one Wufei had been subjected to sharpie on his face and gluing his gun to his hand and many other unspeakable things such as the…whoopee cushion at last year's conference meeting where he had tried to explain that in no way was that possibly him that had such an explosive bowel issue. And Duo was quietly snickering as he turned more and more red until a note was finally passed to him that said April Fools.
He would not be the fool this year that was going to be for sure.
He set out the next morning before work to try and hunt into these stores. He looked around at various tricks and gag gifts, but none of them seemed to fit correctly. What he was looking for. He did pick up a whoopee cushion though before heading to work to be on time.
He got off work too late to visit the other two stores he had missed. He would have to search tomorrow.
The following day did not yield good results either which was disappointing. He had even asked a store clerk what a good gag would be. He was directed to fake vomit. Not what he wanted at all. It looked extremely plastic and besides Duo would not be upset by puke. He would probably think it was funny.
When Wufei made it home he was sad to start admitting that he was probably going to be defeated. But there was one day left. This could still work. He just had to be creative.
Wufei was finally resigning himself the next day to not being able to pull this off when Heero had told him early on in the day that they would have to do research overnight in order to finish off information that Une wanted by the following morning. That meant that even if Wufei could think of a decent prank he would definitely not be able to implement it on Duo before the next day- the dreaded first of April. And though Duo had been mysteriously silent Wufei sincerely doubted that he was going to get away with no sort of prank to expose him as a fool of some sort.
He still had the whoopee cushion as an option... But something about it made Wufei upset; Duo had already used it before he would probably be expecting it. And it was not original.
So Wufei had gone quieter as the day progressed to night. A little shorter in his responses even though Duo had left and Heero stayed and worked diligently next to him. Finally as it neared midnight Heero spoke up next to him. "What is wrong?"
Wufei shrugged until a firm hand on his arm made him jump a little and turn to meet dark cobalt eyes staring at him uncomfortably close again like Heero had been doing more of as of late. Wufei looked at him flustered slightly, until he shrugged. He did not have a good enough prank as it was. He might as well tell Heero what had been occupying him. "I wanted to pull a prank on Duo for that darnn April fool's day he loves so much." He shrugged and looked down from the powerful stare that was observing him. "I failed to come up with a feasible prank."
Heero considered him quietly before questioning, "What did you come up with?"
Wufei sighed, "The best I had was a whoopee cushion."
Heero frowned. "That was what he did to you last year."
"I know."
"That's unoriginal."
Wufei looked up at him and glared, "I know!"
Silence reigned in their office until Heero volunteered, "I know that he will be here in thirty minutes. It will be April first then." Wufei looked up at him dubiously. "We could format a prank in that time." Heero suggested.
Wufei looked vaguely hopeful at Heero. "But what could we do? We have no props and he expects us to be in this room." Wufei questioned.
Heero nodded and looked pensive. "Pranks are usually for shock value. That probably means we need to startle Duo." Wufei nodded in agreement looking down at the floor as he thought in his chair while facing Heero. But what would shock Duo? The man took everything in stride. Dodged the many attempted strikes Wufei threw his way every time his butt was pinched. And once again there was a question of props. He voiced the latter thought allowed. And was once again startled when Heero was determinedly more close and said, "We could use each other."
Wufei leaned back fast and bumped into the back of the chair with a tight exhale. "Ex- excuse me?" He stuttered out.
Heero didn't move back but didn't invade his space further, but explained. "He will be here in about fifteen minutes and if he sees us together he will think it's always like that between us and then you say April Fools."
"What do you mean together?" Wufei whispered. He wasn't really considering it at all. Just curious at Heero's thought process.
Heero tilted his head. "Probably nothing too advanced." Wufei didn't let his mind think about the way that the word advanced came out deep and promising from Heero's mouth. "Just light kissing or as Duo calls it. First base."
Wufei stared at Heero like he had grown another head. Since when did Heero have plans like this running around his head? Duo must be rubbing off on him. Heero leaned forward softly saying, "So what do you think? We have about ten minutes Heero and I think we should practice first."
"Practice? Wufei squeaked out.
Heero nodded leaning a little bit closer trapping Wufei in his chair. "So it looks more natural when Duo comes in." Wufei was quiet and Heero glanced at the clock above the door saying, "You don't want to be caught on April fools again do you?"
Wufei shook his head and closed his eyes leaning forward slightly. Hopefully Heero would get the hint and just do it.
He did.
Heero's lips pressed softly against his and they were a little dry, but not unpleasantly so. They were still like that for a moment just a gentle pressure, before Heero pulled back and looked at him. Intensity ingrained in his eyes and his body that left Wufei flushing further then just from the rather childish kiss.
Heero leaned back and stood. "Was that okay?" And Wufei could only nod and look up at him. Heero looked at the clock and said, "We only have five minutes left. It's either now or never" and he held his hand out to Wufei's who put his own in it.
He was immediately yanked to his feet and pulled into a tight grip with another mouth pressing hard to his; felt a wet tongue almost demand entrance, which he allowed. Feeling a slick, probing tongue enter his mouth he let out a small moan he didn't know he had in him and felt heat rising quickly to his skin as his arms came to latch around Heero's back and Heero's own hands were landing on his neck and ass pinning Wufei to him. Wufei felt himself pressed roughly back until he was leaned against the filing cabinet and felt a hard full-body grind against him. He could feel the rigid lines of Heero's arousal through both their pants and his own responding as he found his hips grinding back in response. He tilted his head to the side to let the kiss deepen as he felt Heero snap his hair tie. He pulled back for air and Heero's mouth latched onto his racing pulse at his neck; he gasped opening his eyes and froze.
Duo was standing in the doorway. He did not look happy.
Wufei forced his hands between him and Heero and shoved as hard as he could. Heero fell back but caught himself on the desk behind him. "Uuh Duo…" Wufei stammered, trying hard to get his breathing under control. He could not for the life of him remember the phrase he was supposed to say. "This is- not. This is"
"I can see what this is!" Duo half yelled back. "You and Heero think you have the night to yourself to do as you please. Then I showed up to ruin your fun." His eyes glimmered.
Wufei looked down almost folding in on himself whispering, "No… you see it was supposed to be a prank…. For April Fools." Wufei wanted to sink into the floor. How could he have thought this was a good idea? This wasn't a prank. It made it look like Heero was cheating with him.
Arms came around him from behind and a soft low chuckle was in his ear followed by a soft utterance of, "April Fools" from Heero. Wufei looked up to see that Duo was far from looking upset. In fact he was smirking ear to ear.
He stepped closer looking incredibly predatory, "Are you mad Wufei? That we tricked you?" He stepped closer. Slinking really. "We had too. All those times that we said we loved you after taking you home and all the times you would brush off my random pinches and advances. Even Heero tried to show you by getting you coffee or opening your door every day." Duo was standing in front of him now and Wufei felt himself flushing again at the intensity in front of him and of course how Heero still seemed to try to grind against his ass ever so slowly from behind. He shook his head. They were bringing out feelings that he would analyze later. Right now his body just screamed 'Want!' to his brain.
Duo chuckled darkly. "Good, because Heero's hickey got rudely interrupted and I think I can get it at least seven shades darker." Duo leaned in to kiss him deeply before dropping his mouth to Wufei's neck where Heero's had been. Wufei exhaled sharply as he felt fingertips dip below his pants' waist line and thought, he didn't mind being the fool of April.
Not this year anyways.
End
There you go. Short silly. Slightly steamy at the end! I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews would be lovely. I promise the next cause and effect will be better.
-Silverserpent
