Author Notes: In this story Karl (Helo) and Kara grew up together on Caprica. Sharon is not a cylon but someone is. Karl is still alive and on Caprica and a cylon is helping him. But you'll have to read to find out who it is. This story will be Lee and Kara but my muse just couldn't put him in this chapter. This is only a two-part story. It was supposes to be one but when my muse got started it didn't stop. This is for Letter Challenge on ApolloStarbuckFic Yahoo Group.

Pairing: None for this chapter—kind of mention of Tyrol/Sharon

Summary: William gives Kara an old wooden box that used to belong to Helo.

Disclaimer: I do not own Battlestar Galactica or its characters.

Rate: PG-13

Category: Romance

A Time to Heal: Helo's Letter

Lt. Kara Thrace had been serving on the Galactica for over two years before the cylons hit. Now they were a good four months into this war of theirs. She knew everyone on this ship; she made it her job to know everyone on this ship. That way she knew who to avoid and who to call upon.

Kara had too many thoughts going on in her head right now. Colonial Day wasn't that fair ahead and she had started to walk without her cane. The good news is that Salik told her yesterday she would be able to return to flying in two weeks minimum, three weeks max. But her main mission for today was avoiding Baltar; he just didn't know when to quit.

After getting up the day seemed like any other really. It was funny when she realized that the people on board the Galactica had formed a ritual. Her ritual was she got up half asleep despite being awake for over an hour. She was awoken by her cold shower. She then got dressed quickly and went to go get something to eat. She then headed down to the deck until Lee or Tigh came to give her some new orders. Today Lee didn't come and neither did Colonel Tigh today it was Commander Adama. But that's not what made this day different then any other.

"Starbuck," William said.

"Sir," Kara said giving him her trademark smile.

"I have a small mission for you," William said smiling.

"I'm not going to like this am I," Kara said amused.

You knew Lt. Karl Agathon," William said already knowing she did.

"Yea I knew Helo…we grew up together," Kara said with a sad smile.

"Well they found this box that has his name on it when cleaning out it his bunk a few months ago. It was brought to me but I hadn't had time to deal with it until now," William said.

"And you want to know if I want to go through it," Kara asked.

"You're his oldest friend…its light so there's not much in it," William said.

"I'll do it," Kara said knowing Helo wouldn't want the Commander or Tigh to see what was inside.

He handed her the box and she had to bit down her lip to stop the tears from coming. She couldn't believe eh took this with him. William knew she knew this box he could tell by the look ion her eyes but said nothing. He also knew she had not mourned for those who died.

She shook her head as memories of them growing up invaded her thoughts. Her mother and his father her had been secret lovers for most of their lives. Helo found out about it when he was thirteen and she was fifteen. They both were angry but never said anything. Helo became more protective of his mother after that.

She sat on her bunk, her heart beating a hundred miles per minutes. What would Karl have in this box? She looked at the box and laughed. She had given him this box when he was ten. He collected rocks so she brought him a box to keep them in. She even had his name carved on top of it, Karl Agathon. She quickly pushed the tears away.

Kara pushed her present towards him with her trademark smile on her face. Karl could see that she was up to something but didn't say anything. He had learned the hard way that it was best to just let things happen when it comes to Kara Thrace. He unwrapped the present slowly, knowing that it killed her that he didn't just ripe it open.

"Happy Birthday Karl," Kara chimed as he took the last piece of wrapping paper off.

"It's a box…with my name on it," Karl said looking at her.

"It's for your rocks," Kara said hoping he liked it.

"Wow thanks…I can put my favorite in here," Karl said opening the lid.

"So you like it," Kara said.

"Yea thanks Kara," Karl said hugging her tightly.

She wanted to laugh, because here she sat alone on her bunk with that box in front of her. Except this time Karl wasn't here, he was gone--dead. She could hear something inside she wondered if there was a rock in there or if it was something else. She was almost afraid to open it. She was afraid of what she would find in there, if she could stand what she found in there.

Opening it up she found paper; she knew it was his handwriting. She taught him how to write, so she knew his handwriting better then she knew Lee's. She remembered his expression when she said she was getting married to Zak Adama. Then she remembered his strong arms holding her after Lee left. She remembered the laugh they had when they both had been assigned to Galactica. There were to many memories when it came to Karl--just to many memories.

Open the paper more she saw it was more of a letter then it was anything else. It was missing a major part like Dear and a person's name but it had everything else. She didn't know if she should read this, it was his private thoughts but then again he was dead. And if he wrote a letter he meant for some to find it, maybe she could give it to them.

Why do I always do this to myself, Kara always told me I let my heart rule me. And she was right, not that I'd ever tell her that. I remember growing up with her, she was like the big sister I always wanted but never had. She protected me and loved me and I loved her. Not that I ever told her that, I was always afraid. How do you tell your best friend that you are in love with them? But as time went on my love for her grew and now I know she will always be a part of me. She was the first woman I ever loved but not the only.

There are times when I close my eyes and I can see you. In my dreams I know how it feels to be with you like he is. The taste of the salt of your skin, the sound you make when you call out my name. But then I wake up and you are with him, like with Kara you will never know. You will never know how much I want to show you how much I love you.

Sometimes I catch myself watching you, imagine what it must be like to make love to you. To kiss your sweet lips, to touch your hidden places, and know what it is like to be loved by you. Now I sound like an idiot writing this letter you will never get. Confessing my love for two women I will never have. Not that I want Kara anymore nor do I even have a chance, she won't admit it but she loves another.

After Zak died I was afraid for her, but now I am not. I know there is someone out there for her and someone for me. I just hope a third time is a charm I really do. I love you Sharon Valerii and like with Kara I always will. But our friendship means more then that. And I know you love the Chief, so I write this letter as a way to say goodbye.

Karl Agathon

She almost wanted to cry but couldn't not yet and not here. She found three photographs inside and gently took them out but didn't turn them to look at them. Kara was surprised at how hard this was, she knew it would be. She may not like to cry like the other girls but she did have emotions. But she liked to keep herself guarded, that way she wouldn't get hurt. Taking in a deep breath, fighting back the tears she went back to her task.

Lifting the first one up she saw it was she and Karl, right before she left for the academy. She could still remember the big dinner his mom made her. The speech she made about making them proud, then her using guilt to get them to pose for that picture. She could still laugh at it all, except for the fact that her own mother didn't show up.

The second one was of him and Sharon. She started to laugh as she remembered when it was taken. Kara was surprise to hear Karl hadn't spoken to his mother in months. Trisha was getting worried she wanted to know what her son was up to on Galactica. So Kara made up the prefect plan to get him to talk more, she started taking pictures to send to her.

"Hold still," Kara ordered.

"Helo this is the last one," Sharon said leaning against the wall.

"Why Am I doing this…this is like the hundredth picture you've taken of me," Karl asked annoyed.

"Your mother asked me to take some for her…since you haven't called in months," Kara said giving him the look.

"When was the last time you talked to your mother," Karl snipped.

"Yea but you like your mother," Kara said.

"Okay guys, Karl this is the last one so let's just get it over with," Sharon said.

"Boomer will even join you," Kara said pushing her towards him.

"What," Sharon exclaimed.

"She wants to see what all his friends look like," Kara smiled.

Sharon was about to say no when Karl gave her that help me look and she could not refuse him. She stood close to him maybe a little to close but he didn't mind. Not that he would ever tell her that. Kara waited until each one of them loosened up and looked at her and she snapped the picture.

"Trisha is going to love these," Kara smiled.

"Yes…to make it even better I'm going to deliver them in person," Karl declared.

"That would be nice," Kara said.

"Now a picture of you guys, so my big brother can see why I'm so happy to be up here," Karl said with a wink.

The next picture was that picture, the picture of the two of them. It took him almost ten minutes to con them, but once he used his mother on Kara she fell. She still laughed as she looked at it and it still was a shock that Karl loved her the way he did. But in a small way she always knew he did and in a small way she loved him like that too.

Tears began to fall after she took a rock out of the box. Not because this was rock from his collection but because this rock was a very special rock. They found it one day when they were out exploring, she was thirteen and he was eleven. He was talking about love and she was laughing at it. He picked up a rock, that rock and went to through it but she stopped him. She remembered he looked at her like she was crazy she'd done it thousand times before. But then she point to the teenage couple making out, the couple he would have hit.

"Why do people come here to do that," Karl asked making a face.

"It's quiet and no one will bother them…usually," Kara said walking off.

"Have you ever been kissed," Karl asked.

"Nope…don't want to be either," Kara answered.

"Why not," Karl asked playing with the rock in his hands.

"Because kissing can cause you to have confusing emotions," Kara answered as she stopped.

"My dad says all girls like to be kissed even if they say they don't," Karl said.

Kara looked at him, the truth was no one wanted to kiss her. They all saw her as the buddy friend while the other girls were the kissing type. She could see Karl was picking up on it so she bent forward. His eyes widen in shocked when she kissed him. He hands gripped the rock for dear as if she was sucking the life right out of him.

"There I've been kissed," Kara said laughing.

"Please don't do that again," Kara frowned walking off

"Karl wait up…I was just kidding around," Kara said.

"I think I'm going to add it to my collection," Karl said changing the subject.

"Like you don't have enough already," Kara said.

She let the rock lay in her hands as she thought of that funny face he made that day. If she closed her eyes she could still see it, and it made her laugh. She couldn't stop the memories of growing up from coming to her. Right now she just wanted everyone to go away so she could be alone. But that would never happen because it was almost shift change.

Kara knew people would be coming in soon but right now she didn't care. She just squeezed the rock, the last remaining things she really had of her home--of Caprica. Putting the letter back in the box along with the photographs and the rock she got up. She wiped away her tears and put the box in her locker. Right now she was so lost it felt like she had lost him all over again. It made her mad that he gave up his seat for Baltar, and it made her mad that Baltar accepted it.

"Starbuck," Sharon said.

"Hey," Kara said no looking up.

"What's that," Sharon asked seeing the wooden box.

"It's Karl's…they found it and gave it to me," Kara said.

"That seems fair, he always said you were his big sister," Sharon said smiling softly.

"There were always things he wanted to do before he died," Kara mumbled.

"I can say the same for all of us," Sharon answered.

"He wanted to get married and start a family…he had fantasies he wanted to live," Kara said softly.

"Fantasies," Sharon questioned.

"He wanted to make love in Galactica showers," Kara smirked.

"Okay that's too much information about his fantasies," Sharon laughed.

"Oh please like he didn't tell you," Kara smirked.

"He said he had fantasies he never told me what they were," Sharon defended.

"He was always a private person," Kara said looking down at the box.

"You know there are times I hate Baltar so much, that I blame him for Helo being dead," Sharon admitted.

"I know me too," was all Kara could say.

Sharon knew that she would never hear Kara say he made the right decision because like her Kara felt he didn't make it. Sharon could feel the tears coming on and stopped them. She would not cry for Karl not here, she would leave that for later. She left Kara alone seeing that right now she just wanted to be alone, she just wanted to remember.

"Sir in coming," Dee yelled.

"We don't have anyone out," Tigh said.

"Cylons," William asked praying against it.

"Actually no sir…its Lt. Karl Agathon," Dee said shocked.

Next Part: The cylon in my story is revealed--but who is it. Who do you guys want it to be?