A/N: This is for thephoenixandthedragon4ever, who wanted a shotgun wedding. I hope I don't disappoint :)
This is probably going to be about 3 or 4 chapters of semi-crack-y randomness.
"Well? Aren't you even going to ask him?"
"Bruce, I think he made it quite clear that he doesn't want to get married."
Bruce gave Tony an exasperated look. The look that said 'how dense can you get?' Tony was used to getting that look a lot. Loki gave it to him at least once a day.
"Am I missing something?" Tony sighed.
"Think about what you know about Loki, Tony. Is he the kind of guy who wouldn't want a ceremony showing him how much you love him? Showing your commitment to both him and your unborn child? Because parties and ceremonies and a big fuss with lots of attention and significance attached, they're not things Loki would want, right?"
"So why would he say... no, scream and magicky-zap... that he didn't?"
Bruce rolled his eyes, "Did you talk about getting married – before you told Thor that Loki's pregnant?"
"Well... no. I was pretty good about the whole my-boyfriend-is-pregnant-thing, but, we didn't even mention marriage – so I figured it wasn't an issue."
Bruce slapped Tony across the face.
"Ouch! Bruce! What was that for?!"
"That was on behalf of Steve, who would punch you in the jaw if he heard you talking like that, and on behalf of Loki, who is pretty emotionally fragile under that narcissistic, over-confident, exterior– something you should know about – and is clearly only insisting he doesn't want to get married because he thinks that you don't want to marry him!"
"What?!"
Bruce face-palmed, "I swear to God, Tony, you're lucky Loki's in love with you, because otherwise he would've turned you into a turnip or something by now. At least then the contents would match the wrapper."
"Was that an insult? Or a dinner request? Cos I could actually do with some turnip soup... Wait, Loki's in love with me?!"
Bruce took several deep, calming, breathes, "Do you want me to Hulk-out? Because right now it's tempting... As the closest thing to a real live human best-friend that you have, I have to inform you, Tony, that your pregnant boyfriend is, in fact, in love with you. So in love with you, in fact, that he's insisting – very defensively – that he doesn't want to get married, because he's terrified that if he asks you then you'll say no and he'll end up feeling rejected... again. And that if he – or me, or Thor, or Cap, or anyone else - gets you to ask him, then you'll do it out of duty..."
"...and not because I love him and want to marry him."
He nodded.
Tony bit his lip, "Shit."
