So Maybe We Break Down Somewhere Around "I'm Sorry"
Shepard puts her hand in the center of his back and shoves.
"That's it?" she demands, as he stumbles and catches himself on the steps. Zaeed and Grunt fall back to the half-burnt shell of a nearby shed. "That's the last thing you're going to say to me, you son-of-a-bitch?"
Kaidan snaps up, furious.
"What the hell was that for?" he shouts.
"You don't get to walk away from me! You don't get to say that shit and then just walk away like we had nothing, like we were nothing!"
She shoves him again, both hands flat on his chest, and knocks him right to his ass. Maybe her new strength surprises him, because he stays there, staring up at her.
"I love you, Kaidan, and maybe a general how've you been wasn't the best opening, but seeing you threw me, okay?"
She drops her shotgun and kneels, air and energy forced out on impact.
"I love you, Kaidan," she says again, and her voice breaks. "I'm sorry. I tried to find you. I really did. Anderson stone-walled me, but you were first thing I thought of, the first thing I asked him about."
The adrenaline has drained too quickly, and she starts to cry, blubbering really, face pinching up all ugly. She slides her legs around with difficulty, collapsing into herself like a dying star of heartbreak. All she can hear is her own hiccupy sobs, her armored fingers swiping ineffectually at her nose and cheeks.
"Everyone keeps saying two years, and I don't know what that means, and I don't know how to tell anyone. I still feel like we were just together, you were just falling asleep next to me and we'd won and everything was so perfect and ours and—and..."
She gasps around tight lungs, around a heart suddenly much too large for her constricted chest.
"Shepard..."
His hand threads through her dirty hair, palm cupping the back of her head, pulling her face up. He uses a piece of gauze to clean her face a little, and then leans in. Their lips touch, and she's still at first, waiting for the blow, waiting for him to snap away and the whole house of cards to crumble around her.
But he's still there after three seconds, and she closes her hand over his, tilts her chin up, and tentatively opens her lips. He responds instantly, one hand tightening, the other traveling to her cheek, tracing with his thumb all the familiar angles and curves, tongue pushing against hers. She's never willing to give up the high ground, hands on his shoulders, pushing him back down onto the stairs, sliding her hips against his as she straddles his thighs.
She feels the prickle of his biotic field against her own, the mismatched tango of power and control sparking along her spine. He pulls away for air, briefly.
"I missed you," he whispers.
"I missed you."
"Hey, you want us to wait in the shuttle or something?" Zaeed calls. "Not that I mind the show, but krogan's gettin' a bit bored!"
"Why don't you fight him?" Grunt grumbles. "What sort of female gives into a male's advances without a little bloodshed?"
She doesn't turn, burying her face against Kaidan's neck, throwing an obscene gesture over her shoulder.
"Don't ever walk away from me again," she says into his skin, and he shivers.
"I won't."
