A/N:This, is really more Major Crimes/The Closer crossover but Major Crimes doesn't have a section yet. I know it is long, but I write a lot so bear with me. And lots and LOTS of femslash, you are warned.

Chapter One

When The Night Falls So Hard

Captain Sharon Raydor rolled her neck and took another long sip from the glass of scotch she had sitting in front of her. She could hear indistinct chatter fluttering throughout the bar. She thought of the day she had just encountered, and shook her head trying to forget. That was why she was here, to forget. She found herself looking through the top of her glasses around the tightly packed police bar. She spotted unforgettable blonde locks of hair, and met the gaze of none other than Brenda Leigh Johnson. She smiled lightly, and grabbed her glass as she made her way over to the booth Brenda was occupying alone.

"Mind if I sit here?" She asked the blonde. Brenda blinked lightly, almost numbly, and nodded. Sharon slide into the opposing side of the table. "So, what are you doing in a police bar on a Friday night?"

"Just needed to get away from life for a while," Brenda said with all honesty. Her accent making Sharon shudder slightly.

Sharon lifted her right eyebrow. "So, you mean get away from Fritz for a while?" She said, getting to what Brenda truly meant.

"What makes you say that?" Brenda asked, setting down her glass of whiskey on a napkin.

"Well, for one, when most people need to 'get away from their life' they go home, and curl up with a nice book-which I picture you doing. Two, you are in a bar; the one place where Fritz wouldn't come into. And third, Fritz told me you two had an argument this morning," she said, giving a deep character analysis.

"He did what?!" Brenda snapped. Sharon could clearly see the anger within her.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," she apologized, knowing that Fritz had told her in confidence.

"No, I'm glad you did," Brenda stated. She looked down to her whiskey. "What did he tell you?"

"Just that you and him got into a dispute this morning, he didn't specify about what," she clarified. Brenda sighed, knowing that he wouldn't… He would let others think it was on her.

"It is just so hard. It's like he tries to understand, but he doesn't. I miss workin' with the police so much. I have never missed anythin' so much… I never thought I wouldn't, but here I am…" Not telling the actual reason why Fritz and her got into the fight, just a factor in it. Sharon could see that Brenda was holding back, but didn't press for anything other than what she was given.

Sharon folded her hands on the table top. "Working for the DA isn't what you thought it would be?"

"It is, but I miss the rush of catching murders. The thrill of putting someone that horrible behind bars for the rest of their life… I miss the people I worked with… My friends…" Brenda looked directly into Sharon's eyes. "I miss you," she let slip past her lips. Sharon blinked 3 times at the unexpected confession and took a large drink from her glass.

She looked back to Brenda. "I miss you too, working with you. Having you by my side. I feel so alone at work… No one there likes really likes me, and I am continuously getting shit. It is exhausting." Brenda chuckled lightly. "Is it amusing, seeing me like this?"

"Yes," Brenda confessed. "But it is just the team, Captain. They did it to me when I first got there, they will warm up to you."

Sharon smiled. "They've started to, but I am not you, Brenda. You are who they want."

"Well, we got to be very close," Brenda reminded her. She smiled lightly to the Captain. "I heard you took Rusty in?"

Sharon nodded lightly, and smirked. "I did, yes."

"How is that goin'?"

She let out a sigh, and briefly raised her eyebrow. "It's difficult. He was really resistant at first, but he is coming about. "

"He is? Good," Brenda said with sincerity.

"He is. He got accepted into a private school, and joined the chest club and theater. That is actually where he is now, staying a friends."

"I am glad to hear he is doin' well… Though, I must say I am a bit surprised that you aren't keeping a closer tab on him." Sharon twitched her bottom lip down to the right. "You are?"

"I gave him phone with GPS on it," Sharon confessed. Brenda chuckled.

"Now that is more like you," she said, and lifted her finger off her glass pointing it to Sharon. She took a drink from her glass, and set it back down. "How's finding his ma goin' anyway?" Sharon looked down to her glass, swirling the liquid its container. "You are looking for her, aren't you?"

Sharon looked back to Brenda. "We found her actually," she said, surprising Brenda. "She stole our money and ran off before ever reaching LA." She shook her head. "A part of me was glad. Who could do that to their child? Just abandon him like that? Rusty deserves more than his mother. He is so wise, and hopeful; it crushes me to think of what she did."

Brenda nodded. "Me too." She huffed. "Change of subject," she stated. "Other than work and Rusty, how are you?"

"Other than that, I am splendid. My daughter called last week, and she is coming down to visit from school for Christmas."

"That is wonderful."

"You should meet her… If you want," Raydor suggested.

"I'd enjoy that."

Brenda looked at Sharon with wide eyes as Sharon began belting the lyrics to 'I want you' as though she were alone. Her hips swayed to the rhythm as she stood near the jukebox, and the sight was so intoxicating for Brenda. As if the 7 whiskey's she had drank weren't enough.

Sharon's hands slid along the sides of her hips and stomach, clearly catching the attention of every male in the bar (even a few females). Brenda couldn't help be glad there weren't many, and most were drunk. Sharon slowly danced her way back to the booth, with eyes following her the whole time. She opened to look down to Brenda.

"I want you. I want you so bad. I want yooooouuuu. I want you so bad, it's driving me mad. It's driving me mad," she sang to Brenda. Brenda bit her lip, and stood. She threw her money down on the table, knowing what was left of her glass onto her.

"Captain, you are drunk. We should get you home," she said, pointing out the 9 drinks the older woman had, and ignoring the fact she had smelt alcohol on herself. Sharon just smiled, and pulled Brenda in close to her. She bag swaying her chest into the other woman's, trying to dance with her. Brenda gasped, and pushed Sharon away. Sharon stumbled back, seeing the arousal now in Brenda's eyes.

"I was just trying to dance," Sharon got out, laughing slightly.

"I'm not in the mood for no dancin'," Brenda stated. She gripped the other womans arm, and dragged her out of the bar.

"I can arrest you for assaulting a police officer," Sharon spat, yanking her arm free from Brenda's grasp.

"Oh, shut up," Brenda said with half seriousness, and half playfulness. She walked up to a taxi that was waiting for drunk policemen to leave the bar to take them home. She opened the door. "Get in, you're going home."

"And you're not?" Sharon tested.

Brenda growled. "I guess I am, now." Sharon rolled her head, and it took her few seconds to get into the car. Brenda had to admit, she found it hard to not laugh. Both were clearly drunk, but Sharon just slightly more. Brenda slide in, and shut the door. The driver started down the road after Sharon told him her address.

"You can stay at my house if you'd like," Sharon offered. Brenda looked over to her confused. "I don't think Agent Howard would like you to come home, whilst angered, and you smelling like his one vice."

Brenda bent her head down, agreeing. Keeping her secret inside. "You're probably right."

The rest of their 15 minute ride was in silence. Brenda looked over to Sharon every now and then to check to make sure she hadn't passed out, and vice versa. When they reached her home, Sharon paid the driver, and got out.

"This is where you live?" Brenda asked, acknowledging the large house for all of two people.

"Yes," Sharon said, as she fumbled with her keys. After locating the correct one, she opened the door which led into a hallway. Brenda realized that the house was a duplex. Sharon switched keys and opened the next door. She entered, then left it open for Brenda to enter. She locked it, threw her keys onto the table in front of the door along with her purse, and turned on the light. She kicked off her shoes, and stumbled towards the couch. Brenda slipped her shoes off, and followed Sharon.

Sharon huffed, and picked up a sweater Rusty had left on couch. She turned around to ask if she wanted to sleep on the couch or if Sharon should and Brenda take the bed. She would have offered the guest bed, but it was occupied by Rusty's things. She gasped slightly at how close Brenda was, and Brenda was taken back as well. Sharon's eyes fluttered between Brenda's eyes and lips, and found herself leaning into them without even thinking.

When their lips touched, Sharon pulled back realizing what she had done. Her face became horrified, unable to believe it. "Oh my god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"Sh," Brenda told her. She wrapped her arm around Sharon's waist, diminishing any space they previously had between them, and kissed her harshly. Sharon fell into the kiss, and pressed her weight against the blonde. Brenda took the weight, and began stumbling backwards. Sharon reinforced stability and led them to the wall leading into the hallway. Brenda flipped Sharon around, pinning her to the wall that was now right behind them.

Their tongues fought for dominance, and Brenda pulled Sharon's jacket and shirt off over her head causing their kiss to break, and Sharon's glasses to fly off her face. The older woman's hands found the buttons to the others pink cardigan and, being impatient, ripped the sweater open. The buttons flung across the ground, but neither woman seemed to notice or care. Brenda gripped Sharon's wrist, and pinned them to the wall over her head with a thud. The blonde's mouth traveled to the other woman's collar bone, gaining a moan from the woman.

She let slack on Sharon's wrist, and took her hand downward to cup her breast. Her mouth began sucking at the flesh that bludging from Sharon's bra. Sharon, not wanting anything holding her back from Brenda's touch, reached behind her to unhook her bra. She pulled it off her body, breaking Brenda's hand from her for a mere second. Brenda's hand left her breast at the great dissatisfaction of Raydor, until she felt her palm down her stomach. The younger woman's mouth left the older ones chest, knowing she had left it covered in hickeys.

Her mouth found its way to Sharon's, while her hand pushed inside the material of Sharon's shirt from the hem. She pressed her fingertips into the captains thigh making the woman moan once more. Brenda tried not think of how she never felt more pleasure out of achieving an arousal than she did with Sharon. Without warning Brenda tore off the captain's undergarments, tossing them aside, and pushed her fingers into Sharon.

Sharon, caught off guard, yanked her head away from the blonde and threw it back against the wall with a loud gasp following it. Her hands gripped Brenda's shoulders. Brenda smirked at the reaction, and began moving the fingers in and out. Sharon tried to keep her mouth shut, causing a continuous hum. Brenda adjusted her hand to stimulate her as she push into her. Sharon felt her knee's going weak and she tried to keep her balance. Her eyes fluttered unable to stay neither open or closed. Her mouth now opened as Brenda curled her fingers. She didn't try to suppress the moan roaring out of her.

"You like that?" Brenda asked with the most seductive tone Sharon had ever heard. All Sharon could do was nod and whimper. "Tell me," Brenda said, bluntly stopping.

"Oh god," Sharon cried, pushing her hand down, trying to regain the woman's fingers. "Don't stop. Yes. Yes, I like it. Please," the older woman begged. Brenda grinned, and pushed herself back in. Sharon bit her lip, and arched her back. Brenda gained a harsh and fast pace, sending the woman into a wurlwind of ecstasy. Everything was swirling around so fast she couldn't breathe straight. "I'm gonna-" she got out. "Oh, I'm gonna-" she tried again, still unable to finish her sentence but this time it was cut off from another moan ripping from her. Brenda got what she meant.

Brenda pushing her face into the brunette's neck. She could feel the vibrations from her vocal cords against her lips. Sharon let out the loudest scream Brenda had heard from the woman, and her hands slammed against the wall as she rode her orgasm out. She felt her chest heaving as she tried to breathe correctly. Sharon spent the time calming down thinking of the last time she had orgasm, and knowing that she had never reached a climax that hard or fast in her life.

Brenda pulled away to look at the woman, whose skin was flush and her mouth opened slightly still letting out a breath unevenness. Even in this state, with her hair awry and eyes only half open, she was still more beautiful than ever. Sharon opened her eyes and looked into Brenda's. Brenda, as hard as she tried, couldn't read them. That was until Sharon placed both hands on either side of Brenda's face, and brought her into a soft, sweet, kiss.

It surprised Brenda at first, but it didn't take long to melt into the kiss. Her arms wrapped around Sharon's waist, feeling their bare stomach resting against each other. She could feel Sharon pushing herself off the wall, then pulling Brenda down the hall without lips ever parting. She felt Sharon turn, and Sharon's left hand left the side of her face and reached downwards for her bedroom door handle. She was then pulled into the older woman's room and quickly took off her sweater and bra.

Sharon stepped back, unzipping her pencil skirt and letting it fall to the ground without any hassle. As she stepped out of the fabric, her hands reached out for Brenda's denim jeans only to yank them down to her ankles. She stood back up, facing the now naked woman. She placed her hands on Brenda's hips, guiding her to her mattress. Brenda sat on the edge of the bed and allowed Sharon to straddle her.

Sharon's hands trailed along Brenda's shoulders, down her arms, and to her hands. Sharon's hands covered them, brought them up to her lips, and kissed them tenderly. She let her lips flow down to her forearm. She stopped to look back to the woman.

Brenda had never seen Sharon so venerable, so human. It scared her but made her feel warm and home at the same time. She rubbed her lips together and allowed Sharon to lean in for another deliciously sweet kiss.

Sharon pushed her force forward, causing them to lean down onto the bed. With her hands still held by Sharon, she could feel the brown hair against her shoulders and the other woman's chest laying directly ontop of hers. Sharon released her hands, now letting them roam on the woman's youthful body. She could feel her heart pounding inside her chest harshly against her chest cavity, it surprised her Sharon couldn't hear it. Especially since her heart and their kisses were the only sounds in the room. Maybe she could but didn't say anything. Maybe her heart was doing the same.

Brenda tried to make sense of what was going on, but her mind was too far drunk to try and logically sort it out. She just knew it felt good, and she had never felt more right with anyone else's touches caressing her. She knew it was wrong, even with the state of mind she was in, but it was all going by so fast (yet still painfully slow).

"Do you trust me?" Sharon asked.

"Yes," Brenda whispered, in almost a timed but firm voice. She didn't know why, or when it came to be, but she trusted Sharon more than anyone, even her husband.

Once Sharon's hands reached Brenda's hips, she pushed the two of them into the center of the bed. She leaned back down onto Brenda, letting her hand travel up Brenda's bent knee that was by the captains side. The captain hooked her leg underneath the blondes, and arched her lower back outward to place the two women's cores firmly against each other. She heard a small gasp from Brenda, making her look into her chocolate eyes. She wished she could have read them through the drunken gaze and the blurriness of both their eyes.

Sharon placed both her arms underneath Brenda's shoulder, gripping them for stability, and began slowly rocking herself against Brenda. They kept eye contact, both their mouths agape holding silent moans. Brenda brought her hips up, allowing the stimulation to be even heavier. Her hands reached out and gripped tightly to Sharon's hips. Her head rolled to the side, and Sharon to the opportunity to place a few hickeys on her.

"Faster," Brenda begged her. Sharon complied, and began rocking her hip slightly faster. "Faster," Brenda cried again.

"Something are better slow," Sharon simply stated. Brenda huffed lightly, knowing this was a battle she was not going to win without losing first. Sharon twisted her slightly, making Brenda finally cry out loud, tightening her hands on Sharon's hips.

"Right there," Brenda muttered. Sharon nodded, letting Brenda know she intended to stay there. She began rocking a little faster and she felt Brenda's grasp on her hips remain tight. Brenda moving her hips with Sharon's gaining a steady rhythm. After another twenty minutes Sharon could not take anymore, and began moving faster and faster. Both could feel their climaxes building, and knew the others was too as their moans where now meshed and unending.

She felt Brenda's body tense, followed by a long drown out moan and then her body going slack. Sharon tipped her head back, body lifted off Brenda's, feeling hers serge through her body. Brenda held her hips still, letting Sharon let it out.

When Sharon looked back down to Brenda, both were covered in sweat with their hair sticking to them, both chest heaving heavily. Sharon leaned down to Brenda, and pushed her hair out of Brenda's face. She kissed her affectionately, caressing Brenda's cheeks with her thumb. Brenda opened her mouth for the woman, who hadn't even asked for it but happily accepted. She pushed Sharon's hair behind her ear.

Sharon pulled away, and rested her forehead on Brenda's. She knew she was too tired and weak for another round, no matter how much she wanted to. She knew this would never happen again, and she wanted to savor as much of it as she could.

"How are you still so beautiful?" Sharon asked her.

"You're one to speak," Brenda replied. "I probably look horrific, but you're stunning."

Sharon chuckled, knowing this not to be true. Sharon regretfully pulled herself off Brenda, and moved to the head of the bed. Brenda sat up, feeling weak, and looked over to Sharon confused. That was until she noticed Sharon's arm was stretched outward, waiting for Brenda to join her. Brenda crawled into the other woman's arms, and let them wrap around her as she laid into Sharon as she wrapped her own arm around the stomach of the woman. Sharon began making slow and delicate circles on Brenda's abdomen near her hip with the tip of her finger. Brenda let a soft "mm" push through her lips, and she buried herself deeper into the brunettes chest (which she was currently using as a pillow), allowing Brenda to fall asleep.

Once Sharon knew Brenda was asleep, she kissed the top of her head. She rubbed her lips together, tasting the words on her mouth. She took her free hand and enlaced its fingers into Brenda's that was near Sharon's hip. She sighed, enjoying far too much this feeling. A realization hit her, a realization that she stated out loud.

"I love you, Brenda Leigh Johnson," she whispered. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, regretting not only the words but the fact that she knew it was true. She shook her head lightly, shaking the feeling, trying to enjoy the moment. Brenda shifted light slipping her right between both of Sharon's, and Sharon rested her head on top of Brenda's, trying to fall asleep. Something that wouldn't come to her for another hour.

When Sharon's eyes opened, it was to the exact same situation she'd fallen asleep to. Brenda's head was laying on her chest, with her arms embracing her, and Sharon's embracing Brenda. The smell of sex and alcohol still had a lingering hint in the room. The only difference was that the sun was now beginning shining into the room as dawn had barely broke the day, and Sharon's head was pounding from last nights alcohol consumption. Sharon hadn't even tried to fall back asleep, because she knew that she was now sober and the consequences of their actions was just around the bend.

She looked down at the blonde hair collect on her chest, and wondered at how heavy of a sleeper Brenda was. Slowly and carefully, Sharon wedged her way out of Brenda's grasp and walked over to her shower. After taking an overly long shower, in which she noticed the large purple marks running along her neck and chest, she stepped and threw on her black robe on. She opened her closest door to grab the purple one she never wore. She placed it at the edge of the bed for Brenda when she woke. She grabbed Brenda's pants from the floor, knowing they smelt like the glass of scotch she spelt on herself the previous night, and her skirt. She walked out into the living room to pick up her shirt, underwear, glasses, and Brenda's shirt, only discover all but one were ruined. She threw out her glasses, which were cracked and the frame bent, and her underwear. She held onto Brenda's cardigan in case she still wanted it. She threw all three (Brenda's pants, sweater, and Sharon's shirt) into the wash with the load she had intended to today already.

She sat on the couch with her knee's brought up onto the couch, and rested her head on them. Her mind ran so fast. Trying to make sense of what happened. What had possessed them to act in such a way, other than alcohol and the already want to. She never did those types of things. She didn't do one night stands, especially with someone who was married, nor with a woman. She never let anyone in, but ever since Brenda had wedged her way into her life she had begun to. Now, Sharon thought, would come the effects of doing that. The reason why she didn't open herself up. The reason why she was so distant and hard. Her mind wondered, and time had been lost as she watched the rest of the sun rise. She heard shuffling coming from the room, and she knew Brenda was awake.

Brenda's and let out a yawn. Her arms stretched upward, and her back arched. She opened her eyes, and pushed her hair out of her face. She squinted at the bright light, feeling the hangover she expected. Her heart sunk, she knew she was naked and she knew she was in an unknown room. She shot upward, and looked around for her clothes but only found a purple rob at the edge of the bed. She grabbed it quickly as she stood, grabbed onto the bed for a few seconds gaining her balance, and threw the robe over her body. She sighed, and let her memories of last night flood back into her mind. She let out a half sob half sigh, and put both of her hands one her face. She pushed her hands backwards past her forehead, and around the back of her head. She had cheated, with another woman none the less. With THAT woman. She regretted it, but at the same time it all had felt so right. Her heart and mind were now raging war.

She turned around and flung the door open. She walked out into the living room, and saw Sharon sitting on the couch with nothing but a black robe on. Sharon's only being held up by her knees, and her arms wrapped around her legs looking defenseless, like she wasn't even going to try to explain last night or fight… Like she was heartbroken. Her hair had dried natural, making it wavy. Her gaze was on Brenda, and Brenda's was on her. Even with her naturally wavy hair, and no make up, Brenda was amazed how beautiful Sharon was.

"Where are my clothes?" Brenda asked, clearly avoiding the heavy topic that faced them.

"I, uh, put them in the wash; they smelt like alcohol," Sharon answered, slightly caught off guard but quickly gathering herself. "I should switch them into the dryer actually," she said, standing. She walked past Brenda, and quickly changed the laundry, and joined the woman again in the living room.

Brenda was sitting on the arm of the couch with her hands placed in her lap. Her hair was pulled over to her right shoulder, exposing a large hickey on her neck. Her gaze was aimed at the coffee table as she thought of how to handle this situation. She wished that it wasn't a situation and that she could look over at Sharon, walk up to her and kiss her like the night before.

"I'm sorry," Sharon said, catching Brenda's attention who hadn't realized Sharon had re-entered the living room. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I-I didn't mean to ki-"

"-Stop," Brenda stopped. "I really don't want to talk about it," she continued as she stood. She watched Sharon's face drop, hurt. It killed her to see it, but she needed time to think away from Sharon. She broke her gaze down, and shook her head. "I shouldn't be here."

Sharon grabbed her elbow, crossing it over her stomach, as if sheltering herself. She nodded slightly. "I understand, but you have to wait for your clothes… Sorry, I didn't want you going home smelling like a saloon," she tried to make a quip. Brenda tried to smile, but she couldn't as her heart was to torn.

"Thank you… Isn't-, uh, -my shirt?" Brenda questioned, wondering the condition of it, because of the event she could recall last night.

"Oh, that… There are no buttons on it, but I washed it anyway in case you wanted it."

"You tore off all the buttons?"

"Okay, in my defense you ruined my underwear and my 200 dollar pair of glasses," Sharon added.

"Did I?" Brenda asked, clearly wanting to change the topic. Sharon took the hint.

"If you, uh, want to a shower while your clothes are drying, you can," Sharon offered. "I will call you a cab and you can borrow one of my shirts."

Brenda nodded lightly, accepting the offer. "Thanks." Sharon tried to smile slightly, but couldn't bring herself to. The fact that it was evident that Brenda wanted nothing to do with Sharon hurt her more than she ever expected.

"The bath is down the hall, last door on the right," Sharon explained. Brenda turned awkwardly and walked off to the bathroom. Sharon let out a shaky breath, and moved into her kitchen. She quickly started her coffee maker, and tried to clear her mind. She quickly walked to her room and found a shirt that was too small on her that would fit Brenda. She placed it on her bed, knowing that was shirt she would let her use, and then found herself sitting on the edge of the bed. Her hands rested on the mattress where she had slept with Brenda Leigh Johnson the night before. Where she had made love to her. She knew the moment to end as soon as it began, and she knew, deep in her heart, she would regret letting Brenda take advantage of her… Of her taking advantage for Brenda. At the moment it happened, she didn't care and now feeling the heartbreak.

She forced herself off the bed, trying to force away the memory. She grabbed the shirt and walked back out into the kitchen. She threw the shirt on the counter, and grabbed a cup from the cupboard. With the coffee machine still running, she grabbed the coffee pot from the machine. She did not care that the coffee was still dripping onto the hot burner as she poured her first glass of the day, she knew that today she would need more than one to make it through the day. She added her Irish Creamer, and picked up her cell phone to call Brenda a cab. The cab that would be here in fifteen minutes. She sat down at her dinning room table with her coffee, and listened for the shower to be turned off.

Within seconds Brenda was standing in front of her in Sharon's purple rob once more, but this time her hair was dripping wet and she wore no make-up. She looked lost, and not sitting with reality.

"Are my clothes dry yet?" Brenda asked her with a monotone voice, as though she was trying to distance herself.

"Uh, let me check," Sharon said, walking back to the laundry room. She pulled out Brenda's clothes from the drier, almost sad to see them dry. She stood, with them in hand, and reentered the living room. Raydor found her sitting on the arm of the couch again, with her head sulked down. "Here," she said, extending the clothes out for Brenda to take.

Brenda took them without looking up, making Sharon realize something. The only time this morning Brenda had actually looked Sharon in the eyes was when she first saw her, and it was as though she refused to do so again. What Sharon didn't know was that Brenda couldn't without feeling an overwhelming guilt. She needed to get away from Sharon. She needed to think. She needed to go home… to her husband…

Brenda quickly dressed in front of Sharon, care to not let a single bit of flesh slip into sight. She turned to Sharon, who was now holding her ivory coffee mug with both hands for comfort.

"Thanks for the shirt," Brenda muttered. "When will the cab be here?"

"In a few minutes," Sharon answered. Brenda nodded and began making her way outside. "You don't… You can stay inside till it shows," Sharon suggested.

"I… I need to leave as soon as possible…" Brenda said with sadness that she clearly tried not to show. "My husband is probably worried sick."

The words were like a slap to the face to Sharon. Husband. She was his, and would never be hers again. She didn't know if she would ever speak to Brenda again after this. Things would never be the same and she knew that. She tried to form words to protest Brenda's leaving further, but could make nothing out. She could only watch as Brenda left.

As the door shut, she felt overwhelmed with emotion; like everything came crashing down. She turned, and threw the glass into the kitchen letting it shatter against the cupboards. She felt a brick her chest, making her double over as a cry tore from her. She was never one to cry, she did not even shed a single tear during her ex-husbands and her divorce nor when she gave birth… She learned at a young age that she needed to be strong. She could not even remember the last time she actually cried, and she had never cried like this. But as that door shut, she felt so did her happiness. She sat on the edge of her coffee table and cradled her head in her hands, letting 30 years of suppressed tears come out of her. She moved over to her desk, unlocked the drawer, and pulled out the pack of cigarettes she hadn't touched in over two months. The stress was to overwhelming, and she needed it… It was all she had to take at least some of the pain. She pulled a cigarette from the pack, and walked to her room for the lighter. She refused to let Rusty know she smoked, but she couldn't go outside right now; not with Brenda out there. With shaky hands she put the cigarette in her mouth, lit it, and allowed its toxins to enter lungs with a deep inhale. She tried to stop the tears, but she could. At least now she could stop the sobs.

Brenda shut the door to Sharon's home, and jumped as she heard a crash coming from the other side. She leaned against the door, and heard Sharon let out a loud sob. Her hand rested on the door, wanting nothing more to walk back and hold her tightly, telling her that everything was fine and that she wouldn't leave. She knew that going back in would only cause more problems. She swallowed harsh, trying to hold in her own tears, threw her bag over her shoulder, and walked out of the hallway to the street.

She was surprised to see the green cab waiting for her. Figures that Raydor would call an ecofriendly cab. She walked to the door, and slide in without a word. The only thing she said the whole deration in the cab was the address of the bar, where her car was still parked. When they reached the empty bar parking lot, the only two cars that were there were hers. She walked quickly to hers, threw her things in the now unlocked car, and climbed in. Once she started the car, she drove out of the parking lot quickly, and got to her house within a matter of minutes. She was honestly surprised she had not been pulled over for speeding, but as much as she regretted leaving Sharon, she needed to check on her husband.

She pulled into the parking lot of their new home, after finally convincing Fritz that they needed a new home. She looked at herself in the rearview mirror, and gawked slightly. She had a large purple hickey on her neck, and one that peaked out of the top of the low black v-neck t-shirt Sharon let her barrow. She dug through her purse, pulling out her foundation, concealer, and powder. Quickly she began applying them, layer after layer, covering the large bruise like marks Sharon had left on her skin. She could only get to the point where they were just barely noticeable, and she hoped with the dim lighting in her house would cover it.

She pulled herself out of her car, and it seemed as though the walk to her front door was like a walk to the principal's office. Her stomach was nothing but a large knot, and her heart was in her throat. The realization hit her again as her hand hit the door handle-she, Brenda Leigh Johnson, cheated on her husband. She had enjoyed cheating on him, and wished she could do it again. She had used Sharon as an outlet of her anger and revenge, and felt more than she ever imagined for the woman. She had sex with a woman. She… made love to a woman? The question made her heart sink further. It wasn't just sex, they had made love?

'No', she thought, 'that is ridiculous, I could never make love with that woman.' The woman that she hated yet had grown to be her best friend, the only who truly stood by her side when things got rough.

She shook her head, shaking off the thoughts, and entered her home. All of the blinds were closed, leaving the area dark which she was glad because she couldn't deny the pounding in her head any longer. She knew Fritz was still asleep, and that gave her relief. She walked to the kitchen to grab ibuprofen and a glass of water. She took the medication and turned to the counter. She saw the liquor cabinet open, and looked inside to see a missing bottle of her wine. She began walking back to the bedroom, and found Fritz fully clothed and passed out on their bed. The missing bottle of red wine was on the ground just below his hand that was dangling off the edge of the bed.

She silently reached down and picked up the bottle that was empty. She felt her jaw quivering, and she walked out of the room. She set walked back into the kitchen, and set the bottle on the counter loudly knowing it would more than likely wake Fritz. She heard him in the next room, and waited for him to enter the kitchen. She looked up at him, and his hair was thrown about and his eyes were sunk in

"Do you have to be so loud?" He asked with aggravation in his voice.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be," she lied. She turned him, so she was facing him completely. She grabbed the bottle in her hand, and pointed it to him. "Do you have to continue to lie to me?" She asked, turning the conversation around. Fritz face dropped. "I asked you if you were drinkin again, and what did you say? 'No' and then you started screamin at me for accusin you of it, when you were?" She said, anger rising in her voice. "I stopped fighting because I believed you, and I gave you space that you wanted last night and you deceived me, Fritz."

"Brenda, I didn't want you to know," he said.

"I'm your wife, I need to know!" She was now screaming. She covered her face, trying not to cry. "Why did you start? Is it me, something I did? Is that why you didn't want to tell me?"

"No," he answered. "I couldn't sleep Brenda… I kept seeing that little girls face."

"What little girl?" She asked.

He sighed. "I didn't want to tell you… About a month ago, I was on a case we were taking down a mob. She was tool to make us give up, and we wouldn't stand down… She was killed right in front of me, and I killed the bastard that shot her head off." He looked up to Brenda. "She was only 8."

She starred at him with wide eyes. "Fritz… I…" she found herself struggling for words. "I'm so sorry," she got out. "I didn't know, why didn't you tell me?"

He scuffed, and turned away. "Because…" He knew he couldn't tell her that the little girl only amped his drinking, that he started before that when everything with Brenda and the lawsuit. He didn't want her to feel guilty because of his weakness. "I thought I could fix it before you found out, but it keeps getting worse. I am trying, but I am struggling."

"Fritz, I will do anything to help, just tell me… Please?" She begged.

"I need to do this on my own, Brenda," he said, knowing she was part of the reason he was drinking. He needed to prove to himself that he could push past his selfishness for her. "I need to do it alone," he repeated and walked out of the kitchen alone. She leaned into the counter, taking every bit of her energy not cry. Her chest felt heavy, and her breathing was heavy.

How could he just turn her away like that? When she offered nothing but help? She hoped that he could this, because she don't know how much longer they could take arguments they had been having. She was so unhappy, and with him pushing her away when she tried so hard to fix it only made her want to drive back to Sharon's house. She knew that she couldn't though, that no matter how much Fritz pushed her away he need her now more than ever.