Okkaayy, so I've started a new series but I will still be posting regularly on my main marauders series, soooo yeah.
Disclaimer: These guys don;t belong to me. Sadly.
Spoilers: Minor spoilers for the main books
Azkaban was cold. It was lots of things, really. It was shame, fear, hunger, pain, resentment, but worst of all was the cold. A concrete building on a desolate island in the middle of the sea would have been cold anyway. Never mind it was November. Never mind the dementors that patrolled the dank corridors. Never mind that whenever he could see a glimmer of hope, the dementors preyed upon it like hungry dogs.
When Sirius transformed into the large black canine and closed his eyes, he could almost remember what happiness felt like - and remember it he did. Sirius held on to memories like a lifeline - because they were just that.
The first thing he remembered in Azkaban, while he lay curled on the stone floor, ready to give up, was the moon. He saw on his own hip the tattoo he had gotten in his sixth year. He had gotten it for Remus. It changed, true to the cycle of the real moon so Sirius would always know how Remus was - so he would always remember. And that night, Sirius did remember.
When Sirius was eleven, the moon started to mean something to James, Peter, and himself. It meant that Remus - their quiet, shy friend had to go visit his sick mother. More than once, he came back with cuts and bruises.
When Sirius was twelve, the moon meant more evidence, more data for the questions he and James had. At first, the cuts and bruises led Sirius to believe that Remus had been in an abusive home. When the boys had finally realized that Remus was a werewolf, Peter had been the only one who even thought to be scared.
By the time Sirius was thirteen, moons dictated his feelings and moods almost as closely as they did for Remus. On nights of a full moon, Sirius had trouble sleeping and the day after was always spent by Remus's bedside.
During their fourth year, full moons still meant fear, but something else too. They were getting close to finishing their plan, and through the stress, Sirius couldn't help but anticipate it.
When the Marauders were fifteen, full moons were excitement and exhilaration. James, Peter and himself were animaguses and full moons had been an exciting challenge for the three of them. They were too caught up in the fun of it to see that full moons were still hard for Remus.
Sixth year was pure agony. The only thing worse than the resolute since from Remus was the guilt within his own mind. Within the last few months, though, after they had made up, the moon dictated when certain things were allowed with Remus. Long term romantic, or even sexual relationships were unexplored territory to both of them, and sometimes, lycanthropy reared its ugly head during times other than the full moon.
During the marauders' last year at Hogwarts, full moons had meant the most. The Marauders were closer than ever and the monthly transformations seemed charged with something that wasn't there before. Whatever the reason, Sirius had been acutely aware of the cycle of the moon.
And now Sirius sat alone in a cell. Moons still meant something to him, but now, all he could do was watch the ink change, helpless to do anything but grieve.
