Written for QLFC Season 5, Round 6 - Movie Night! I'm chaser 2 for Ballycastle Bats (Go Bats!). I had to write a story inspired by the movie Time Bandits. Needless to say this story should be considered AU.

My lovely betas were: loubug14, morphin3, and brownlark42. All other mistakes are mine!

Optional prompts were: [word] bloodthirsty; [word] incident; [word] coast

Word Count: 2,125

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


"Sod it, Prongs, give it here!" Sirius whispered as he grabbed the almost-finished map and pulled it toward him.

"Quiet!" Remus whisper-shouted as the two began to scuffle. He snatched the map away and consulted it. He started casting the necessary spells to add the hidden passageway they were currently hiding in.

"Shhh, someone's coming. The coast is no longer clear! Go! Go! Go!" Peter whispered in a panic as he pushed and pulled the four of them deeper into the passageway behind the troll ballerina tapestry on the seventh floor.

"Bollocks, what's back here?" James asked as he lit his wand and led the four Marauders to the end of the passageway. In his other hand was a golden necklace they had just stolen from Professor McGonagall's desk. It had three concentric rings with a tiny hours glass in the middle, filled with a kind of sparkling sand. None of the four young men had seen it before and they had no idea what it was or what it did. But they did think it was special, given that Professor McGonagall had it hidden under three different wards and a Muggle lock that Peter had to pick.

"Give me the map, Moony," James said as he held the golden necklace behind him. Remus handed the map to James just as the floor of the passageway gave out and James and the rest of the Marauders went sliding downward. They all screamed manly screams and slid down into the bowels of the castle.

As they fell, the three rings on the golden object began to spin. James didn't notice when the necklace and the map touched, but an orb of golden light enveloped the four of them. There was a flash and the light was gone. Then they landed somewhere hard and dusty.

"What have we got here?" The four friends tangled on the floor didn't recognize the deep voice or the accent. Remus eventually got himself up from the rest of his friends. He stood and found himself face to face with a large wizard in brilliant purple robes. Standing next to him was a wizard in burgundy who looked exactly like the portrait of Godric Gryffindor that hung in their common room. Behind him was a man wearing Slytherin green robes and a forbidding scowl.

"Err…" Remus was flummoxed. They looked like they were in a castle. Maybe they were still in Hogwarts? He looked around to see if James, Sirius, and Peter had finally begun to sort themselves out, then turned back toward the man in purple.

"Who are you?" Remus asked.

"Moony! Can't just go asking strange wizards that," Sirius muttered as he elbowed Remus in the ribs. "Where'd the map go?" Sirius asked, glancing at James.

"Maybe I should be asking who you are?" the strange wizard in the purple asked.

"Moony, Prongs, Wormtail, and I'm Padfoot. Pleased to meet you," Sirius said and he extended his hand.

The wizard in purple shook it, "Name's Marion Merriment, and this is Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin. What has brought you to our school?"

Three of the Marauders were stunned into silence.

"G-G-G-Godric Gryffindor?! Blimey, Prongs! We've gone back a thousand years... or more!" Peter stammered as he grasped at James' arm.

"Back? Are you from the future then?" Slytherin asked.

"1976," Peter replied.

"Shut it, Wormy," Sirius muttered.

"How in the world…?" Remus was thinking hard. Whatever the golden necklace was, it had somehow moved them through the fabric of space and time. "Where's the map? Prongs? Where's that trinket from McGonagall's office?" Remus was suddenly frantic to get a look at the map and the golden necklace.

"This map?" Gryffindor asked as he held forth a piece of worn parchment that was their almost finished map. Remus made a grab for it, but Gryffindor pulled it back and began to examine it. It had been open when they fell and never been closed, so Gryffindor was able to see the map for what it truly was.

Slytherin and Merriment looked over Gryffindor's shoulder as he perused the map thoughtfully, "Marvelous bit of charm work here," Gryffindor muttered. "But it certainly doesn't look entirely like the Hogwarts we know."

"Give it back! It's ours. We made it," Peter said. He squeaked and hid behind James when Slytherin leveled a glare at him.

"So you are from the future, almost a thousand years from now, and made a map of our school. Does that mean you attend Hogwarts?" Merriment asked.

Sirius responded, "We do. We're Gryffindors," he grinned at Gryffindor, "Good to meet you, sir."

"Gryffindors! Does that mean the Houses we set up last year are still in use?" Slytherin asked.

"Yes," James replied, "Gryffindor, the best house naturally, noted for bravery; Ravenclaw, for cleverness; Hufflepuff, loyal and hardworking; and Slytherin, cunning is what they are, but I like to think of them as sneaky, slimy, snakes. Bloodthirsty, the lot of them."

Remus almost slapped his forehead when James was finished. Only James Potter would insult Salazar Slytherin in such a blithe way.

"Prongs!" Remus hissed, "Let's not insult three very powerful wizards, yeah?" He pointed to the fearsome look on Slytherin's face.

"Oh, er, um, I'm sure you're not bloodthirsty. It's just they are in the future, you see," James tried to explain himself.

"No Merriment house?" Merriment asked. "What happened to my house? The house of creativity?"

"Never heard of it. Never heard of you either. There were only four founders to Hogwarts," Sirius supplied with a frown. "Not much imagination to any of them, I've always thought," he added.

Maybe they hadn't fallen back in time, but to an alternate universe, Remus thought. It was a conundrum and reminded him again of the gold necklace.

"Ja- I mean Prongs, where's the necklace?" Remus asked.

James handed it to him. Despite the hard landing it had survived and was shining brightly.

"Where did you boys get a time-turner? Those are highly controlled artifacts," Gryffindor asked as he reached forward and pulled it from Remus' grasp.

"We found it in our Head of House's office, sir," Peter said helpfully.

"Wormy!" Sirius poked him in the ribs, "Shut it!"

"Sorry Si- Padfoot," Peter muttered.

"Let's clarify," Slytherin growled. "You four are making a magical map of Hogwarts, stole a time-turner, and somehow managed to fall a thousand years back in time?"

"Uh, er, that's about the gist of it," Remus agreed with a nod.

"Gryffindors," Slytherin muttered.

"I don't understand, what happened to house Merriment?" Merriment asked.

The Marauders shrugged; they'd never heard of a fifth founder before.

"Well, maybe this is an opportunity to learn something," Gryffindor mused. "What happens to us? It's clear Marion is lost to the annals of history, but what about Salazar and I? Are there loads of stories about our exploits and adventures?" Gryffindor asked excitedly.

"Er, your exploits? You hate each other, don't you? You have a huge falling out and Slytherin leaves the school," Sirius said.

"A falling out?! We're best friends," Gryffindor laughed as he slung an arm around Slytherin's shoulders. "We'd never fall out."

"Not even the dragon dung incident is mentioned?" Slytherin asked.

"Dragon dung incident? What happened?" Remus loved history. He was intensely curious in the founders of Hogwarts.

"Never mind, tell us about this falling out," Gryffindor said, as his face reddened.

"You fall out over whether Muggleborns should be allowed in the school or not," James said with a shrug.

"There you go, that won't happen. See we learned something new," Gryffindor turned to Merriment and Slytherin with a grin.

"That still doesn't explain why there's no Merriment," Slytherin pointed out.

"Is it possible we fell into another universe? How do time-turners work? Why have I never heard of them?" Remus asked.

"I don't think so," Slytherin replied. "I've done some work on time-turners and from what I can tell, they don't traverse universes. If the magic of the map represents some of the most secret, oldest parts of the castle, I suppose that the time-turner combined with the map might make you fall through to our… rather distant past."

"Then why is there no Merriment house in their time?" Merriment demanded. Remus could tell he was starting to get upset.

"Perhaps you'll tell us what's going on in your time?" Gryffindor asked.

"Well it's the seventies," Sirius grinned and waggled his eyebrows. The three older wizards just stared at him.

"Merlin, Padfoot. They don't want to hear about your sexual exploits," James scolded.

"Speak for yourself, young man," Merriment shared a grin with Sirius.

"The political climate?" Slytherin asked with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh, erm…" Sirius looked at James.

"There's this guy, named Lord Voldemort, he's a dark lord. And he's been trying to rid the world of Muggleborns. He's pushing a pro-pureblood agenda," Remus said quickly.

"A dark lord you say?" Slytherin smirked and turned to Merriment. "Just your cup of tea, no?"

Merriment had the grace to blush.

"Maybe this is why there isn't a house Merriment in the future?" Gryffindor mused, arching his brow at Slytherin.

"Yes, I think this must be the reason," Slytherin agreed.

"Let's get the time-turner and map ready to go. You five are going back, er forward, to 1976," Gryffindor said with a clap of his hands.

"Woah, wait, don't I get a say in this?" Merriment asked.

"Master Merriment, you're the dark lord defeater. You've got all the creative ideas. It's what you were doing before we rounded you up to start Hogwarts. How many is it now? Three? Four?" Slytherin asked.

"Seven, it's seven," Gryffindor supplied, smirking at Merriment. "And what were those villagers calling you in Wales? A god?"

"Supreme Being," Merriment hissed under his breath. Remus thought he looked unhappy about the way this conversation was going.

"Ah, there you go, seven dark lords you've defeated. And there's an eighth waiting for you in 1976, Supreme Being. Let's get you back there," Slytherin smirked.

"This feels like a setup," Merriment muttered. But he turned the time-turner over in his hands to get a good look at the markings on the side.

"Should be nine turns of the big ring, seven turns of the middle ring, and six turns of the small ring," Slytherin said. He took the map from Gryffindor.

"Come on, you lot," Slytherin said to the four Marauders. Remus looked at his friends and shrugged his shoulders. In cases such as these, it seemed better to go with the flow. It was worth a try anyway to get back to their own time. The four Marauders and the fifth founder huddled together as Slytherin threw the chain of the time-turner around all five of them.

"Don't worry, Merriment, Godric and I will make sure you get a hefty chapter in this castle's history," Slytherin said as he shoved the map into Merriment's hands and gave the time turner a twirl. "...in the appendices," he added with a smirk.

The last thing they saw was Merriment gaping at Slytherin and Gryffindor standing side-by-side waving at the group.

When they landed, Merriment and the time turner were gone. It was just the four Marauders in the dusty hidden passage they had fallen from originally.

"Was it a dream?" James asked. "Some sort of group hallucination?"

"Sirius, what did you give us?" Remus asked. It was the only thing that made sense.

"Nothing! I swear! It felt so real though," Sirius said.

"It must have been a dream," Peter mumbled.

The following day, the Marauders were greeted with a shocking headline in the Daily Prophet at breakfast.

A NEW PLAYER EMERGES! DARK LORD DEFEATED! VOLDEMORT IS DEAD!

The man who styled himself as Lord Voldemort has disappeared in a massive explosion. A Reductor curse gone wrong, perhaps? When coupled with the fact that all of his followers were rounded up and left in a cage in the Atrium at the Ministry, this reporter thinks there's a Dark Lord Defeater out there.

Nobody at the Ministry is claiming credit.

This reporter entered the Ministry to find the Aurors scratching their heads at the scene that greeted them when they arrived to work this morning. All of the followers who had been captured had been branded with the Dark Mark and are being transported to Azkaban, pending trials.

Who is the mysterious Dark Lord Defeater? Is evil still out there somewhere? Or is there a new Dark Lord on the way? Only time will tell.

If the Dark Lord Defeater is out there and reading this, "Huzzah to you, good sir!"

Remus looked at his four friends. For once, he didn't have anything to say.

"Not a dream, then?" Peter asked. Nobody answered.