I don't own the Chronicles of Narnia.
Susan doesn't remember exactly when the name Queen Susan the Gentle was lost and the title Queen Susan of the Thorns was born. She just remembers the intense rage that filtered throughout her entire being when she first heard her newfound name.
It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. The day Susan arrived in Aslan's Country was supposed to be one filled with joy and happiness; and it was, for all but ten minutes.
Separated by her beloved siblings and her Golden King by a train wreck that took all she still held dear, Susan spiraled into a deep depression. As if being kicked out of Narnia wasn't bad enough the first time, that damned train had to steal everything that she still had left.
Peter, Lucy, and Edmund were the only reason that Susan hadn't killed herself that first year after her return to England. Susan was stuck in London while her poor children were still in Narnia, no doubt wondering when she would return to them, and later, if she had abandoned them. But she would never leave her children, not by choice. Aslan himself would have to tear
Susan away from them before she gave them up willingly.
For Aslan's sake, they were just children. Only seven and five years old, they should never have had to live without their mother. Or their father, Susan later pondered, thinking of Peter's heart-stopping smile and warm eyes.
After returning to England, Susan spent her first year in mourning. Six months she spent bedridden in her grief, the other six she spent in a deep resentment. Susan hated her parents, because they would never understand the pain she felt, she hated her classmates for their blissful ignorance and cruel remarks on her depression, she even hated Peter for awhile for having gotten over their children so quickly.
Susan couldn't ever fathom that Peter was feeling the same amount of grief that she did; that instead of spending his days mourning, he buried himself into his studies and sports and being a good older brother and son.
The years after the first flowed together all too quickly. At this point, Susan had accepted her loss and deemed it more fit to believe it was all just one childish game rather than mourn what she could no longer have.
But now everything would be fine, everything would be perfect. Susan would return to Aslan's Country as a Queen, a Sister, a Wife, and most importantly, a Mother.
Her mind was on her children when she walked up to Cair Paravel. Her beautiful son, black of hair with eyes bluer than the sky, and her Golden daughter, with locks the exact shade of Peter's and as strong-willed as a bull.
Susan's head was held high and her back was straight despite the torn and dirtied clothes that basically hung off of her body. She was a Queen and she would act like one, no matter the circumstance.
Seeing her family for the first time in years, Susan fought back the urge to cry out and run towards them. But she had her pride and expectation told her to handle the situation differently. When she was twelve and young and new to the throne, Susan would have thrown herself at her siblings with no thought of propriety in mind, but the court has taught her differently over the years and certain things were drilled into her head. It was not proper for a Queen returning to her throne to act like a child.
Grace was implanted into her every step as she daintily strode towards her siblings, sitting on their thrones. Susan's face was the epitome of a proud leader but her eyes shone bright at seeing her siblings once again returned as the feared and loved Kings and Queen of Narnia.
Stopping at the end of the heavily embroidered carpet that led to the thrones, Susan looked up at her siblings. Tears threatened to spill out of her eyes, but she swallowed them back with much conviction. There was a time and place to cry and it was not here. No matter if there was no one to lay witness to her tears. This whole ceremony was only a formality. Just a tradition that would later be repeated in front of the whole of Aslan's Country.
Susan scanned the faces of her siblings, stopping to stare a bit longer at her Golden King, her brother, her husband. She could see Lucy nearly jumping in her seat, Edmund trying to suppress the twitch in his lips, and her Magnificent husband, her Peter didn't even attempt to hide his joy.
She knew he wouldn't. There was no one the King of all kings loved more than her. Humbleness be damned, she heard him whisper 'I love you' and saw him stare at her with enough adoration to know where his feeling laid. Susan would need to reprimand him on his lack of control later, even if she wouldn't mean a word she would say.
Susan bit her tongue painfully hard to keep herself from smiling at them, straightened her back, and bent the knee. Looking directly into the eyes of her King, she repeated the words she had memorized for years.
"His Majesty King Peter, High King of Narnia, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion, Sir Peter Wolf's-Bane, Peter the Magnificent, High King over all the kings of Narnia," Susan addressed, not stumbling over a word. "Will you accept me once again, as your Wife and Queen? To stand besides your side now, forevermore? To accept your burdens and to ease your troubles? To love and to hold for all of eternity?"
"Rise Queen Susan the Gentle," Peter smiled down at her. "Rise and return to your place, on your throne and by my side from now until the end of time."
At his words, Susan broke into a bright smile, feeling happier than she's felt in years. All signs of propriety gone, Susan rushed up the steps to greet her love in a bone-breaking hug.
"When the world turns gray and the sun refuses to rise, when the city turns to dust and the crops wither and die," Susan choked up, remember the vows she took on their wedding day. "When all else fails and there is nothing left for us but each other, then I will never cease to love you still."
Susan turned her head to look into his eyes, the same eyes that both their son and daughter inherited. "I have missed you, terribly," she whispered. Leaning in Susan closed the gap between them to give him a passionate kiss on the mouth. She closed her eyes and didn't stop, not even when her lungs pleaded for air and she started to feel light-headed.
Peter's hand gripped her forearms tightly, hard enough to leave bruises but Susan didn't care. They were good bruises. Bruises that she would wear with pride, because out of all of the ethereal women of Narnia and Aslan's Country, Peter the Magnificent loved her.
Her remaining siblings came to mind and Susan broke their kiss to give Lucy and Edmund a bright smile and a relieved laugh. They were together again. They were a family again. She tugged her brother and sister into a tight hug and pulled back to gaze them in the eyes.
"You've grown," Susan commented. Gone were the awkward adults in children's bodies and in their place were a young woman and man. Too long limbs and short bodies turned into flat stomachs and muscled arms. These were the bodies Lucy and Edmund were supposed to have, the bodies of their prime.
"So have you," Lucy grinned at her. Susan smiled down at her, still taller by just an inch and a half.
"We have much to catch up on," Susan announced, then turned away. "But that can all wait. I have returned to Cair Paravel seeking many things. My crown," she looked at the silver tiara, glinting in the light and lying innocently on her throne next to the High Kings. "My siblings," Susan flashed a smile at Lucy and Edmund. "And My Love," Susan gazed adoringly at her Golden King, her heart pounding at the look of utter devotion on his face. "But there is only one thing that can override all of that for me."
Susan reached forward to grip her King's hand in her own. "Peter," she started. "Where are our children?"
She thought of William's curious nature and Rose's daily tantrums and nearly cried with relief. Susan was finally going to see her little prince and princess again.
It only took a moment for the smile to slide from her face and a look of complete panic to overtake it. Her Fearless King's loving expression was replaced with one of deep sadness and loss and Susan's heart stopped for what felt like a good minute.
She turned from her King to look at her other siblings, hoping for answers. Lucy's head was bowed and turned, as if to hide from her older sister's questioning glance and Edmund stared at her gravely.
She contemplated asking Edmund the Just, as he looked the most prepared to answer her but thought against it. If it involved their children, Susan wanted to hear it from her Golden King, the father of her children.
"Peter, where are our children?"
Just for the record, I haven't read the Chronicles of Narnia since I was in Elementary school and now I'm in my second year of college. So, needless to say, I have absolutely no memory of this book. Because of this, it is lightly based off of other fanfiction and a bit of research from the Narnia wiki. It's called fanfiction for a reason, so it's not going to follow the book completely.
And I loved the Game of Thrones too, so let me know if you get the reference !
