Fic C-98, by Dickfart
"Winnie the Pooh was a bear who shit in the woods, or so the legend goes-belch-the end. Go to sleep, Morty. Science... in the morning." Rick was already snoring.
"Look, Jerry. Dad is telling Morty a story," said Beth, sighing happily.
"Gee, dad?" said Morty.
"Yes Morty?" said Jerry.
"Think you can-you can get Rick out of here? A man's room is h-his temple and all, if you catch my drift," said Morty.
"You're gonna masturbate to Winnie the Pooh!" Jessica shrieked.
"I masturbate to everything Jessica! Deal with it," said Morty.
So Jerry carried Rick out of the room and into the broom closet.
"Well, Jerry. You're a raging homosexual and I am Rick C-98, the only known version of Rick to have sex with Jerry. Let's do this."
"But you're my father in law!" said Jerry.
"And you carried me into a broom closet. Why do we have a-barp-broom closet anyway? This isn't school. Hurry up and bend over. Viagra's wearing off."
So Rick plowed Jerry in the closet and the rest of the Smith family listened all night long, eyes bulging, chests sinking, guts melting, shins itching, teeth gnashing, thighs rashing, noses twitching, eyes burning, brains fogging, toes tensing, eyes tearing, will to live waning, thoughts drifting, shoulders aching, hopes crying, dreams dying... it goes on.
The End
