Summary: He had loved his crooked neighbour with all his crooked heart. "So carefully put together, yet so easy to fall apart."
I don't own.
Something I wrote in about thirty minutes, excuse any mistakes.
One shot: Losing Alaska.
The thing about Alaska was that she could be absolutely fearless and full of confidence at times, and then collapse in a heap at others. Her moods were terribly unpredictable; she was the one puzzle nobody could put together, the one mystery nobody could solve.
She was so strong, yet so weak. So carefully put together, yet so easy to fall apart. I wanted to wipe away her tears, hold her, make her feel wonderful. But I knew I couldn't: she had Jake. She had him and he was all she wanted and she was all he wanted. It was perfect and beautiful and I couldn't loathe them even I tried.
"Pudge!" she cried, wrapping her arms around me. I was almost overwhelmed by her musky, addictive scent, that one that always sent me crazy. "Come here, you skinny little man."
I could distinctly pick up the undeniable smell of smoke and booze on her. She wasn't wearing any shoes and her dress was torn but she seemed oblivious. Tear tracks ran down her cheeks, decorating her beautiful smile, the only reminisce of sadness that remained.
"Alaska?" I whispered, my voice breaking. "Alaska, what are you doing here?"
It was so dark, I could hardly see a thing. The horizon was spotted with tiny specks of light, stars that were beginning to shake the cover of the day. I stared at Alaska and stared and stared and stared, and she looked so real and solid and there, and the realness of it truly broke my heart with the hope that overwhelmed me.
"Pudge, what are you on about?" Alaska raised her eyebrows skeptically, in typical Alaska fashion. "I went home for Christmas, remember? God, it's so great to see you!" She squeezed me again, and I was remembered of how incredibly strong she was for such a tiny girl.
"Alaska," I sighed, relief overwhelming you. "Oh, god, I had this horrible dream-"
She was fading. I blinked. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was just my imagination. People didn't fade, did they? Real people didn't fade.
"I love you, Alaska, I love you I love you I love you." The words fell from my lips at their own will, as if I had no control over them, as if they had a mind of their own.
"What was that, Pudge?" I could barely see her now. "I can't hear you. Pudge? What's going on? Pudge?" Her voice was getting panicked now.
And then it was gone. Screaming filled my ears, and, to my horror, I realised it was mine. The Colonel was leaning over me, shaking me awake. "Pudge, wake up. Pudge, you skinny little bastard, wake the fuck up!"
I sat bolt upright, and then instantly sagged. Shit. "It happened again, didn't it?" I murmured, and sighed.
The Colonel nodded and sat on my bed and we stayed that way for hours and hours, watching the darkness give way to the light, watching the blanket of night disappear.
