Twas the night before Thanksgiving, a holiday no one cared about. Pilgrims sucked ass. Have you met the protestants? Any-whom... Austin has time traveled to a land of boring.
"Excuse me good sir you look cold, would you like a deer pelt?" His accent was thick much like his beard.
"I AM A VEGAN BIATCH! I DIDNT COME ALL THE WAY HERE, MISSING MY STARBUCKS DATE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND FOR THIS! I PASSED UP PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES TO COME HERE, TO THIS DISPICAPAL TIME PERIOD, TO SEE WEHRE IT ALL STARTED, FOR THIS SHIT? A DEER PELT, YOU'RE KIDDING ME!?"Austin screeches in anger. Face turning red, almost as red as his converse. NERD.
"Um let me take you back to my log cabin. You seem a bit off have you been talking with the Indians? You shouldn't be near them, they are toxic."
"How dare you insult such wonderful people, they have done nothing but help you. They gave you nice haircuts and shared their diseases who wouldn't love them? Don't be so racist this is 2017!"
"Excuse me it's 1621, did the Indians give you too much to smoke?" He looks concerned.
"Nah but I did do a line before I came here, wait... ah shit is this another hallucination?"
The concerned accent on the pilgrim morphed into the mocking laughter of his girlfriend.
"Austin you need to lay off the coke, besides Pepsi's better anyway."
Wassup biatches we're back! With a brand new wonderful Thanksgiving themed crack fic.
Peace out girl scout
Calz and Vegz
