Authors note: YAY a new story, everything featured in these next chapters, (including this one) I don't own and neither do you.

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Todays program (1-10-03): Children's learning channel

Anouncer: (sickly) Hi kiddies! It's now time for Laguna's learning hour, featuring Ania and Zom, Lets LEARN

Camera zooms in on Laguna in a "Mr. Rodgers" suit.

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Laguna: Hi kids, welcome to my house of learning fun!

Audience: Yay!

Laguna: today we are going to learn differant types of safety.

Audience: Yay!

Laguna: and helping me is Ania and Zom

Audience: (screams) aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Zom:(to Laguna) this isn't working

Laguna: I'm quite aware of this

Ania: hey kids lets learn a song

Audience: (scattered voices) uh...yeah...ok

Zom: I'll be the leader and then it goes to Ania and then we all sing!

Audience: Yay!

Zom: this song was sung by someone else (weird Al) but it's main message is to not fool around with guns

Ania: its called trigger happy
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Zom: (singing) trigger happy

Ania: (singing) trigger happy

Zom: (singing) Got an AK-47, well you know what makes me feel alright?

Got an uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night

Theres no feeling any greater than to,

Shoot first and ask questions later, now I'm,

Trigger happy,

Trigger happy every day...


Ania: (singing) Well, you can't take my guns away, I got a constitutional right,

Yeah, I gotta be ready if the Commies attack us tonight,

I'll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson,

That ought to teach them all a darn good lesson,

Now I'm trigger happy,

Trigger happy every day,

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Laguna: stop, your not teaching them anything!

Ania: oh yeah huh?

Laguna: now we are going to learn "not to play with fire"

Ania: yeah, look what happens when I play with fire

Ania lights a match and sets fire to Zom

Zom: (engulfed in flames) as you can see this is very painful.

Jepardy theme song comes into play

Zom: (screaming) aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............

Laguna: (snapped)Alright, this isn't a learning channel, oh no, its a mad house and these two are the ring leaders! your supose to be learning! LEARN DAMN YOU

children flee the building in horror

Zom: that was fun

Ania: again!

Laguna: NOOOOOOOO


~end chapter one~