"Why? Why did you do it? Why did you save me, Zuko?" she asked looking at the ground with furrowed eyes.
"I-" It really was a simple question. It was the answer that was more complicated. He asked himself the same question countless times and yet he couldn't find the right answer. Sometimes it would appear right in front of him and when he lifts his hand to snatch it, it disappears, fading into darkness, leaving him even more perplexed than before.
"I mean, I was so" she paused, clenching her hands into fists "so cruel to you."
--
*flashback
"What are you doing?" she asked, venom piercing each word.
"Er, washing the dishes?" he answered with a tentative smile, which quickly vanished after seeing her face. He never really believed in idea of "if looks could kill." He figured it was one of those obscure proverbs of Uncles' that never really applied to the situation. However, after seeing her narrowed, icy eyes, her clenched fists, and her tightened lips, he realized he really should listen to those proverbs more often.
"Why?"
"Well, you do most of the chores here, so I figur-"
"No. You figured you could barge in here and tell me how to do my job," she fired back with a snarl, "You can't come here and do whatever you want. This isn't the Fire Nation, even though you want it to be."
He sighed, trying to contain his anger, "I'm just trying to help."
"Trying to help by doing my job. I'm the waterbender!" she emphasized that idea my pointing to herself, "I do the dishes! You are a firebender."
"Okay. I'm sorry. Is there anything else I can do, then?"
She scoffed, walked past him, making sure to bump him as hard as she could with her shoulder, and then continued washing the rest of the dishes. Silence and tension pierced the room, before he turned around deciding to leave before things got worse. Before he left the room, her voice echoed throughout the room, "Like I said, you are a firebender. You should go find something to destroy. That's something I'm sure you are very good at."
*end flashback*
--
"I made fun of you, even when you didn't deserve it. I even thr--"
"No. Don't. Don't say that." Why she was feeling guilty was beyond him. He understood her pain, her anger, and her distrust. In fact, he was glad she acted that way. He needed someone to remind him of who he was in the past, so he could never become that person again. He would forever be grateful for the way she treated him. "Don't feel bad. I deserved it. You were protecting Aang. That's what you do, Katara. I can't blame you for that. I won't."
"I--," she paused again, lowering her head further, and whispered "It wasn't all about Aang."
"What?" he asked with a quizzical look.
"I wanted someone to be angry at. Someone to throw my mistakes at. And you-you represented everything I hated. I thought if I was angry at you, I wouldn't be angry at myself for all the mistakes I've made. I was so selfish, Zuko."
"Everyone deserves to be selfish at least once, Katara."
"No," she responded while shaking her head, "I can't. The last time I was selfish, I almost got everyone killed. I was jealous. Jealous of Aang. Jealous that he could learn how to waterbend so quickly, while it took me years just to form a waterwhip. Because, of that I-"
"Ah, I remember that. Not one of our better moments." Zuko responded, trying to lighten the situation.
She let out a small chuckle, before finally lifting her head to look at him. His eye widened as he saw the look in her eyes. She looked like she was the one who had betrayed them all; like she was the one begging for forgiveness. "Katara, y-"
"You tried, Zuko. You tried so hard. And I never even thought about trying to understand…"
--
*flashback*
He stared at her back as she held the reigns to Appa and for a split second, he saw himself. Memories flooded him as he remembered the times during his search for Aang, when he simply sat outside looking at the moon, wondering if she was looking at the same moon; if she was even alive. He remembered keeping his back as rigid as possible, because if it were to ease up, even just a little, he would break down. It was during those moments, that he felt completely alone. As he stared at her back, he felt a twinge of understanding and regret.
"She would be proud of you, you know." He continued to stare at her back. The only sign that she was listening was the slight tilt of her head towards him. "You're fighting for what you believe in and you've grown strong because of that. She would be very proud, unlike mine, " a soft sigh escaped his lips, before he continued, "She would be ashamed. Ashamed of what I became. Of the choices I made."
A moment passed before she turned around, her posture easing slightly. The look she gave him was one he could not read. He wasn't sure if it was pity or perhaps even sadness. However, before he could question it, the look melted into one of fury, "Do you honestly think I'm an idiot? That worked on me once. I promised myself I would never fall for it again."
He closed his eyes and sighed as she turned around. Once he opened them again, he looked at her back, which was, once again, rigid and unwavering,
*end flashback
-
"Zuko, I'm sorry."
He paused before placing a hesitant hand on her shoulder, "Don't. You don't need to be," he offered a gentle smile, before continuing. "You know, this war was really terrible. Lots of people were killed, nations ruined, families torn apart. It resulted in a lot of destruction. But, war doesn't always have to end things. War can bring about some beginnings, too. This war allowed me to start a new life. I did that by joining your group. So, maybe this war can let us have a new start. We don't need to remember the bad that happened. Let's just move on," he squeezed her shoulder and then let go.
Her eyes lit up and she flashed a bright smile, "Yeah, you're right. I guess this can be a new beginning for us. Thanks Zuko" she stood on her toes and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. On his scarred cheek. His eye widened in shock and his mouth opened slightly. She offered another smile before turning around and leaving the room.
A few moments passed before he placed a hand on the rough patch of skin where her gentle lips just touched.
"You're welcome, Katara" he replied softly with a smile. It was then that the answer to that question had finally appeared.
